Chapter 6
DIANA
South.
That’s where I need to go if I flee. Take an empty pot so I can boil water, and maybe one of those weird straws that says you can use it to drink river water.
If I get sick, hopefully it’s close enough to Trinity, a hospital larger than here and across the mountains, that I can just stumble into their facility and they can take care of me.
I’ll have to steal a car, but on the other side, they’re removed from Dominion.
I’m sure they have their own gang issues, but…
South is closer to the Black Mirage—my true escape.
Yes.
I like this plan.
Sipping on my tea, I stare out into the woods. I’ve walked a very particular path in there countless times, knowing that as an omega, I always need an escape route. It feels oddly comforting to stare at something that gave me so much sanity for so long…
This can’t be the end, right?
I can’t get caught now.
My bag is packed like Maggie suggested. I’m literally ready to abandon everyone and everything at any moment. Sure, I’ll miss Selene, but I’m a danger to her, and I’m desperate. I’ll go in, make that stupid, massive idiot happy, and then run for it.
Selene will understand.
I tip the mug back to get the remainder of what’s now lukewarm tea flavored with honey before lowering my arm and sighing. The door to my small studio opens, and I’m already in such a state of shock that I don’t even flinch; I just brace for what’s coming.
“Alright,” Selene says, and I exhale so deeply I nearly deflate. “Are you ready?”
My heart races as my eyes widen, looking out at the trail once more, as for an overwhelming moment, I’m beyond sad to leave this small space that’s mine. My gaze latches to the one tree in particular that I would have needed to run toward, where the deer trail is.
I won’t be taking that today. It’s only for the spring and summer months, where there’s not a threat of hypothermia at night.
A car is needed for today.
“Yeah,” I reply, setting my mug down, then reach back out to move it slightly.
What if this is the last time I touch it?
My brother gifted it to me before I fled my true home, the white ceramic covered in black patterns of ocean creatures.
My particular favorite is the sea turtle.
I yank my hand away when memories of home creep in as if invited, and I grab my bag, my heart racing so hard I bet my nervous system is damaged.
Home is gone. It has been for a very long time, and I can’t take it with me. Because if I go to the Black Mirage, I will be erasing who I was born as.
It would hurt less to start over as if my old life never happened.
I don’t even look at Selene. “Let’s go.”
“What’s the bag for?”
I glance up at her. “Oh, um…” Shit. I didn’t want to have this conversation. “I don’t think I’m coming back,” I mutter.
Selene’s green eyes are heavy, but she doesn’t try to tell me that’s not true. She knows it’s true. “You got enough suppressants?”
“Enough for two months. That should get me to Trinity with some space for anything that might delay me.”
Selene looks me over. “Let’s go, girl,” she sadly says, nodding to the door.
Her acceptance makes me want to cry and hug her, because it means everything to me. It’s a support I’ve lacked my entire life, and now I have to fucking leave it behind because of Judge.
I want to properly say the right words to her, to take in this space once more, but then it will make me cry, and Judge will see that. Why would a beta cry approaching him?
This is such a typical alpha; they fuck with the omega’s head.
Omegas groom them back in their own ways, like we are destined to do the most depraved dances to ensnare the other.
Except I want to get away before one of them bites my scent gland and creates that longed-for tether that’s supposed to be sacred between an alpha and an omega.
“Let’s go,” I say, unable to stand the silence any longer. It’s as if the absence of sound means she can hear my inner thoughts. “I want to get this over with.”
I feel very alone right now.