Chapter 13
DIANA
Cruel, paralyzing indecision of not knowing where to run keeps me naked in this spot. Attacking him means going near the beast, which I’m morally against. What game is he playing? Does he fuck omegas in heat often and then give them to the rest of his pack?
Does he even have an omega for himself?
I feel so gutted that my first heat with another was with him.
I mourn the loss of any hope of a first time that meant something special.
I’ve seen enough ruined omegas to know what comes next.
Alphas like him burn through road dolls like they’re made of paper, expecting their bonded omegas to still be happy with them.
I’ll be mated to someone among his ranks, and then every time I look at him, I’ll remember what he stole from me.
Used.
What do I do?
I have nothing to run or hide from anymore. It’s like when one makes a fatal error and cannot process it, convinced there’s an alternative. As if I can wipe away what happened.
“Food will be brought. You will eat,” he says, voice like a military verdict. “And then we leave for the Iron Castle.”
“You had your fun,” I say under my breath. “Give me some dignity and let me go home.” There’s hardly an inflection in my voice as I blankly stare at the wall.
He stalks closer, the click of his boots a sound I’ll never stop hating. He’s fully military, fully biker. I try to ignore how I know every inch of his cock and balls, of his thighs, arms, back, chest…
Just like all the other road dolls.
I stand, covering my body, and growl at him. “How do you live with yourself? You just stole my ability to have a happy life. You’re a monster.”
His eyes flicker with something—sarcasm? Frustration? I don’t care. “Yes, because I have plans to lock you in a closet and feed you crumbs for the rest of your life,” he chastises. “And there’s no point covering yourself up. It’s already quite memorized.”
An annoying, high-pitched sound escapes as my suppressed scream comes out like a squeal. “You used me!”
His eyes flash with something dangerous, or maybe even annoyance.
“Should I have left you in here? Where other alphas knew about you? The minute you started reeking of heat, you needed to be paired with an alpha.” That low, rumbling voice turns grating.
“Those engagers they gave you meant estrous was coming one way or another, and suppressants just piss off the body if you mix those two. It would have been hell for you.”
“Could have left me in that cabin at Trinity and then taken me.”
His nostrils flare, those unnaturally pale eyes deadening their emotions before he sharply turns his head, wiping at his face as if to pull away and bury the words he wants to use.
“And the men that followed that alpha I killed for you, which you’re welcome by the way, would come sniffing around. He was not alone.”
If that’s true, then fuck this asshole for being right. “And when exactly did I shower?” I fist my hair with one hand to look at it.
“I bathed you.”
I blink. That answer lands strangely, some vague memory of it on the tip of my mind. “Why?”
He shrugs. “I didn’t like the idea of you cleaning off my scent.”
A shiver ripples through so gently that I can probably pretend like it didn’t happen, because I can’t believe that it made me feel something.
That shouldn’t make my stomach knot like this.
Shouldn’t feel like he just reached in and rewired something vital by fucking me in my heat, and saying things that make me feel like I’m chosen. “You have issues.”
“I’m an alpha, sweetheart. It comes with the territory.”
A scream rips out of me as I grab my dress and underwear from Trinity, only for him to growl in disapproval. “I’m not going to walk around naked,” I remark.
“Obviously,” he replies, voice dry. “But you’re not putting on anything soaked in heat, either.”
I don’t disagree, actually. “Well, I need to change.”
“They’re bringing you new clothes.”
I drop onto the edge of the bed, fists clenched in my lap as I make sure the blanket is properly wrapped around me still. The mattress reeks of us, of sex, of heat, and claiming.
A knock precedes the door creaking open just long enough for Kitty to slide in a tray of food and a stack of folded clothes.
No eye contact. No words. I want to reject the food on principle alone, but fuck him.
I deserve to eat and be fueled. I grab the clothes first and change in the bathroom, sliding on underwear, black pants, and a black button-up.
No bra. It’s nothing I usually wear, and the pants are a little big, but it gets the job done.
When I exit, Judge looks me over, almost like he doesn’t approve of the wardrobe. Well, good. Maybe I’ll sleep in these, too.
I’ve never felt so aggressive as I do with him in this room, probably motivated by the fact that it’s pissing me off that I like the way he smells so much.
I grab a plate of eggs, potatoes, and bacon to eat at the table, taking out my anger on the chair and utensils with how harshly I handle them.
“Now talk. What the hell are your plans with me?”
He looks like he can’t decide what he wants to say or reveal, just watching with that calculated expression he had in New Bunker. “I feel like that’s already been made obvious. You’re coming to Dominion.”
My heart races, my stomach confused from queasy to ravenous. I swipe my tongue across my teeth. “Yes, but what about once I get there?” I sharply ask.
He actually looks offended and rises to his feet, nearing me to place his hands on the table, leaning over. “You’ll live with the other omegas and adjust—”
My jaw drops. “Oh my god, I better not be pregnant.”
“You’re not,” he dryly answers. “I gave you pills for that.”
The part of me that’s tired of thinking about everything for myself purrs to hear he considered that, at the glimpse of what an alpha can be capable of. “I literally don’t remember that.”
“You were busy being knotted on my cock and dozing off.”
Heat flushes in my cheeks as I kind of remember that now, looking back down to eat the bacon. “So what, I just get fucked by you and then given to another?”
He grabs a roll of bread like he needs something to destroy with his teeth, then stalks away from the table like he's chasing off his own restraint. “If another alpha approaches you in such a way, you’ll never see him again.”
I frown, freezing as the fork is in my mouth. “Wait, I’m not getting bonded to someone?”
“Do you always need all the answers right away?”
“No, you’re right,” I reply with heavy sarcasm. “I’m the one who’s being unreasonable right now.” I eat more, angry at him for acting as if it’s my fucking fault. I’ve never felt so petty. “Your eyes are a weird color.”
He laughs—hard. It rolls through the space, arrogant and unfiltered. “You wouldn’t stop calling them beautiful for three days.”
I shut up at that point. Because I do like the shade. I don’t want to ask more about him being an echo, because that means knowing things about him. Which feels too intimate after what we just did.
The food vanishes quickly, and with every bite gone, dread creeps closer. We’re going to leave. Go somewhere even more locked down. His purr is almost instantaneous in its effect, but I’m no longer shrouded in hormones. “I’m up,” I say, standing. “Stop purring.”
“If you say so, nurse.”
I walk toward the door as he maintains his gaze on me, steeling myself, glancing around. “I don’t have shoes.”
“Harder to get far without them in this terrain.”
The sardonic laugh that escapes is like the sound someone makes when they’re going crazy. Fine. No point in bolting. Might help to make him think I’m compliant, anyway. If I escaped, I don’t even know where I’m at right now. No, it’s better to reassess when I know the terrain.
Judge rises, and I step far to the side so I’m not near him as he goes for the door. Realizing this might be some of the last solitude I have with him, I look down and ramble out, “This only happened because of my heat. That’s it.”
He twists the handle, lowering his head slightly to get even with my height. “This is far from being it, sweetheart.”
I don’t understand what he means. I don’t understand my role, or if he’s going to continue to fuck me like a road doll, or if I’ll be shared…
When the door opens, I slide out instantly and to the side to keep my distance.
The fresh air is on my face, the sun so bright it’s burning white, very few leaves left to block it.
There are many bikes outside, rumbling. The jeep is turned on and ready to go.
Judge grabs my arm and guides me to it, reminding me who’s steering this nightmare.
I find it incredibly important to walk with straight shoulders as all the others are watching.
I get in willingly, because I don’t feel like having my freedom restricted even more, and there’s no way I’m succeeding right now. Plus, going north where Dominion is gets me closer to my original home.
The place I promised myself I’d never return to. But I could go there if I were desperate enough.
Civility is somewhat preserved in military bunkers, and I could offer myself to the first willing—or well, acceptable—alpha. I need Judge to loosen the reins, however, if I’m to make such an attempt.
Judge does something to my car door and shuts it, and when he’s walking around, I give it a wiggle, but it won’t open.
I feel so imprisoned by the gravity of his aura, this metal cage like a physical embodiment of that.
As we take off as a caravan, my head rests against the back of the seat, staring out the window to take note of any mile markers or signs that give me insight into where we are.
Then I lift my head, eyes widening, because my heart starts racing like I’m having a reaction.
“I don’t feel good,” I say with alarm, my head growing lighter. “Something is wrong.”
He grips the steering wheel tighter. “Your drink was laced,” he admits. “Might be best to lie down rather than fall over.”
I start laughing, the reaction bubbling into delirium until that’s the last thing I remember.