Chapter 14 #2
Anxiety slows, despite everything, even if just for a moment.
So far, this seems realistic. Judge’s punishment might be to keep me here as a fuck toy, visiting during my heats and denying me a true alpha.
That means I have a month or two to plot and plan, using the high of my heat to get me through being fucked by him.
That’s plausible.
And I will get out of here.
My father was an alpha, and I know how they work.
I haven’t thought about my dad in a long time, unable to handle the fact that I never got to grieve him or my mom.
I still want to be angry for what they did, but I also miss them—I examine Juno, trying to distract myself as I feel my throat tighten with emotion.
“Where are you from, Juno? The south, I take it?”
She vaguely gestures to her body. “Clearly not civilization like you know it.” She grins. “Softskin.”
I rub my eye, granting her a partial smile. “I can handle myself, you know.”
“No, you can’t, sweets. It’s not how we’re designed. I mean, I heard you gave Judge a run for his money, but we’re just little flesh bags in a world full of pointy things. Our kind can only do so much.”
My body stiffens slightly at the nickname because Judge has used sweetheart on me one too many times.
“You know, softskin doesn’t even make sense,” I say, my teeth slightly chattering, kind of wanting to go back in now, although I like how the bitter cold makes me not feel my emotions as deeply.
“If it’s leather, then the softer it is, the more used it is. ”
Juno frowns, looking down like she just tasted something bitter. “Never once thought about where that word came from. Just seemed to fit the bill.”
There’s a calming effect to this conversation.
She seems like a normal person, a reflection of myself in a fucked up world where our kind are hunted out.
She isn’t chained, bruised, or visibly hurt, which is promising.
It’s also disheartening that I find this comforting, but at the same time, for once, I’m not alone.
Even at the Enclave, the omegas stayed separate. We acted like the others didn’t exist.
We’re in the open here.
That’s way more inviting than I had ever anticipated.
“Well, let’s go back in, and you can meet what’s left of us until a new one moves in. Or until one of us gets bored enough that we’re willing to take on an alpha,” she says, moving us inside.
I have to admit that the open air did help. The way the sky moves slowly is so unattached from human drama, a reminder that it’s the same sky I always stare at. Right now, it’s merely while behind Dominion’s walls.
I don’t think I remember living a life without being terrified of being found out as an omega.
It’s a weird, fucked up freedom.
Blinking rapidly, I’m drawn back to thoughts of Selene and wondering where she is right now. Is she free? I cautiously follow Juno back, aware that somewhere out there, Selene has no idea that Judge himself fucked me—while I unfortunately begged for it—in my heat.
I’ll deal with that shame once I’m out of here.
“That’s Cassandra.” I sharply raise my head, pulling myself from my melancholy to notice the one from earlier nodding at me.
Juno motions to a blonde in the corner, reading a book.
“That’s Mira.” Then, to a woman with wild, curly black hair and dark brown skin who’s quietly working on a drawing.
“Alisha.” Then to another that looks as wild as Juno, one I didn’t see before, who is leaning against an archway.
She has fiery red hair and dark eyes. “We don’t know her real name, so we call her Scorch. She likes fire a lot.”
Scorch peers up with a grin that doesn’t reach all the way. “And lookie here, it’s the one who reeks of our betrayer Judge.”
Juno rolls her eyes. “She’s extremely dramatic. Like everyone from the Black Mirage.”
My eyes widen, looking Scorch over like she’s a very possible lifeline. “You’re from there?”
Scorch smirks and lets the question dangle before sulking away, moving fluidly like she might be gliding.
“Juno, make some coffee. You always get the ratio just right,” one says, and it’s hard to turn away from wanting to follow Scorch as I figure out it’s the one with straight hair named Cassandra who gave orders. Her long, thin nose scrunches up. “I’m having a migraine again.”
“If you have ginger, that might help,” I say without thinking, like she hit a button and I immediately answered.
“We have to call the nurse for that, and I’d rather not.
They’re obsessively observant over our bodies,” she says drearily.
I am more than happy to nod and keep my mouth shut, because I need to know what their expectations are before revealing all my cards.
What if being a nurse gets me moved? What if one of them has a bad experience with medical personnel?
There’s always a possibility that I may never even see Judge again. Which means I may actually have time to recalibrate, and that means building whatever persona I need to. It’s one of the few genuine skills I have, and it’s a hell of a lot easier to be obscure with fewer details than more.
Juno pads over to the kitchen and puts a kettle on the stove.
Mira glances at me once, then back to her book when I look her way, and Alisha doesn’t even seem to care that I’m here.
Okay, well, when it’s clear I’m just being left to my own devices, I wander until a much stronger, heavier scent pulls me—I near an open door where it comes from.
It doesn’t take me long to figure out it’s Judge’s scent, but it’s in a room that also reeks of omega.
It’s as if his dirty clothes have been discarded in here.
My jaw tightens, having no idea what to make of the feelings that move through my heart.
“That’s Roxy’s room,” says a smoky voice from behind me. I nearly jump out of my skin and spin to face Scorch. Her hazel eyes rake the heap of clothes and then me. “Jealous?”
I swallow thickly, certain it’s not jealousy I feel, but more so the sense of embarrassment that I’m clearly just a road doll to him.
I worked my ass off to be no one’s road doll, or mate, and here I am used like a wet rag by that stupid idiot.
“No,” I defend. “Juno said he doesn’t mess with the omegas, so why does this room reek of him? ”
Is he a threat or not anymore?
Scorch’s expression is flinty. “Well, she will be jealous. The only times omegas reek of Judge is if he’s fucking one in heat, and then we never see her again.
Usually moved to a sister city. So… you’re abnormal.
And that room has his clothes because Roxy offers handjobs to one of the betas who handles laundry, and she gets all of his clothes for a week before they’re washed.
Judge knows, of course, but I think his ego lets it happen like he doesn’t. ”
Okay, so far, Roxy seems like a tinder box I don’t want to bring any flames near. As I slowly take Scorch in, there are markings on her skin I haven’t seen before—rounded, intricate line art in red ink. “Why are you here instead of on the mirage?” I ask as casually as I can, facing her fully.
Her eyes deaden. “That’s a personal fucking question.”
Raising my hands, I step aside. “Oh, um—well, I’m sorry. I—my bad.”
Shit! She’s the last person I want to piss off, because I’m going to need details.
I don’t wait for her to reply as I excuse myself and walk past her, making all kinds of faces as I internally scold myself.
If Judge thinks I’m just going to sit in here like a good pet, he has made a dire decision in his obsession over collecting omegas.
That metal contraption is my true north. It was always my last resort, but now, it’s my prerogative.
As I wander a little aimlessly, the place now smelling of coffee, I settle on a couch, not a single muscle relaxing. The windows throw cold white light over the room; the view is nothing but bark and dead leaves and a sky the color of old paper.
It’s better than a concrete wall, I guess.
The front door opens, and everyone looks at it like they’re waiting for a verdict; even Mira, who gets Alicia’s attention so she’s the last to look up, her dark eyes scanning the room like she’s searching for a threat.
A plumper woman with short brown hair gelled back struts in, her face gently lined with wrinkles, but not enough to look too aged.
Her black eyes slide over the room and fix on me the way someone checks the price tag.
“Hello, ladies,” she says, voice like a bell. “Omega bonfire at sundown; a swelling moon, to be precise! One of them was just confirmed as expecting, so we’re throwing a celebration.”
“Woo,” Juno says, with no enthusiasm. Mira dips her head lower into her book, writing something on paper that Alicia looks down to read.
“Who’s expecting?” Cassandra slowly inhales with closed eyes. “As long as the alphas stay away from us, I agree to go.”
The woman’s glare finally leaves me. “It’s Amy, which gives hope for all of you.
And Cassandra, you know that’s not how these gatherings go.
Be ready by sundown.” Those dark eyes return to me, and my back stiffens.
“Diana,” she says, smiling, but I don’t trust an inch of her.
And this time, I’m listening to that intuition.
“The newest omega. How is everything so far?”
“Who are you?”
“My name is Ravina. I oversee the omegas at Dominion. I thought to let you wake on your own so the omegas could show you around. I’m so pleased to see you awake and about.”
Always a hierarchy. She doesn’t smell like an alpha either. “I just woke up, so, I guess whatever that means,” I reply.
“No worries, the bonfire is a perfect place to stretch your legs and understand us better. There’s food in the fridge and pantry, and it already smells like coffee is brewing.
If you need anything at all, just let the men outside the front door know.
I’ll leave you be with the others. I take it one of them has stepped up to help you?
Ah, you have, Juno? Perfect. I’ll see you all shortly.
” She leaves with the same intensity she entered with, like she’s a messenger pigeon herself, not before looking over the other omegas like they better help me understand how this place works.
“What’s a bonfire for omegas?” I ask, watching her walk away, aware I’m like a walking question mark with all the concerns I have. Don’t act too needy. “And is she really in charge of us here?”
Juno snorts. “Yes, she is, unfortunately, in charge of us. Rather harmless, really, but just weird. Also, the bonfire is an excuse to get us near alphas. They’re always trying.
Swelling moon just means it’s to celebrate one of us getting fat for nine months.
” Juno looks at the others. “I can’t believe Amy is pregnant! She at least wants babies!”
My stomach sinks.
Great.
Fucking great. Parade myself in front of them—already I can feel their eyes dissecting me, probably all aware that Judge used me.
Does that make me usable in their eyes, too?
My heart races, and I glance back at Mira, whose eyes are far from mute as she keeps glancing up.
There’s an edge in there that makes me feel like she’s someone who has seen a lot and is quite smart.
Perhaps there’s pity in her eyes as she looks at me before burrowing herself back in her book.
I refuse to let my panic sink in, knowing this is all temporary. I will get to the Witch Doctor on the Black Mirage, and I’ll force my body into menopause and remove my identity as an omega.
Then, I’m finding Selene and burying this identity for good.