Chapter 8
Darren
Her hum as she takes the first bite of her omelet gives me a warmth I haven't had in a long time. I've spent a lot of time taking care of Nic, but I haven't spent nearly as much time taking care of myself or another adult. While I love making sure my daughter is okay, I miss the rest of it. "Good?"
She closes her eyes and smiles as she chews. "Yeah, it's really good. Exactly what I needed. I don't think I realized how hungry I was until I put this in my mouth."
"That's understandable." I stand with my back to the counter, arms crossed over my chest. "You had a ton of adrenaline running through your body last night, and probably even into this morning.
Food was the last thing on your mind, and you might not have much of an appetite after this, but eating is going to help you recover.
So I'm going to make sure you have a snack or two before dinner.
" I don't mean to sound so much like a hard ass with her, but I've come to know her over the past few months.
She'll worry about everyone else except herself, and right now she needs to worry about her.
"You like telling me what to do, don't you?" She questions putting the fork against the flat of her tongue.
I grip my biceps to keep from reaching out to her. "It's not that I like telling you what to do, it's that I don't think you take care of yourself well. You take care of everyone else."
"So do you, Officer. I'm nothing special, we both struggle with self-care."
Pushing off the counter, I cross the small space between us.
Once I'm standing in front of her, I reach forward.
My hand palms her neck, thumb rubbing her jaw where there's an ugly as fuck bruise forming.
"That's where you're wrong Mace. You're more special than you give yourself credit for, at least to me.
" Her eyes widen, and I can tell that I've shocked her with my words.
In the living room, I can hear Nic. "She needs help with the remote. I'll be right back."
I quickly walk into the living room, seeing my daughter struggling with the remote, making noises around her sippy cup. "Dad," she whines, holding the electronic equipment out to me.
"I know, I heard you. What do you want to watch?
" She points to her favorite cartoon, and I get it set up for her again.
"Need anything else, baby girl?" When she shakes her head, I lean down and give her a kiss on the forehead.
"I'll be in the kitchen while Macie finishes eating, but we'll be right back, okay? "
She nods, her gaze already on her show, and I know she'll be fine until we get back. Going back into the kitchen, I notice that Macie’s almost done with her food and has drained her glass of orange juice. Without her asking, I snag the glass and pour another serving.
“I could get used to you waiting on me,” she teases.
Swallowing roughly, I answer. “I could get used to doing it.”
A part of me wonders how long I’ve really liked her.
I don’t trust myself to notice the feelings anymore, because I’d shut them off so effectively with my ex-wife.
I’d told myself I didn’t need affection, or to give it.
But a few hours into staying at my house, and Macie has blown what I thought I knew about myself out of the water.
Her eyes meet mine as she takes the last bite of food, and then drains the glass. Finally, she breaks our gazes, and slowly stands on her feet. "C'mon, let’s go in there so Nic's not by herself."
It warms my heart the way she mentions my daughter. "She'll be fine for a few more minutes if you need them."
"No, I'm okay. Do we need to explain why I'm here?" She wrings her hands in front of her stomach.
"No, I've told her you're my friend, and you got an owie, so you're staying with us.
Since you have the bruises on your face," I whisper those words, burying my hand in her hair, and palming the back of her head.
She tilts her head back so that our gazes are locked.
"If you feel uncomfortable, you'll need to let us know. "
"I will," she answers, turning her cheek into my touch.
Together, we go to the living room. Nicole is laying on the floor, her head in her palms as she watches her show.
One thing I know about her is to not interrupt while she's watching.
"We can sit on the couch, she's not going to want us to talk to her.
We can talk to each other, but don't mess with her until her show is over. "
Macie grins, looking at my daughter. Her gaze is warm, and I wish that her own mother was able to look at her that way. Those are dreams I've given up on though. I can't make someone want something that they don't. "She's serious about it, huh?"
"Yeah, and always has been."
"So what do you normally do when she's busy watching?"
I shrug, palming my phone. "I'm on like freaking level fifteen hundred on this stupid game I downloaded on my phone."
She laughs, throwing her head back. There's a real smile on her face, one that goes to her eyes. "Just something to do to turn your brain off?"
"Yeah, I'm sure you get it. It's not easy, especially after what we see day in and day out.
One night I downloaded it when I was trying to stop thinking about someone we arrested, and what I saw when we did.
It took my mind off it all. It was literally blank.
I'd never had that before," I shrug. "So this has been my go-to since. "
"It's better than the alternative that most of the people in our professions deal with. You aren't drinking, smoking, fighting, doing hard drugs, or using sex to cope. I'd say a little game on your phone is ideal, unless you're spending your lunch money on getting tokens." She grins.
I see what it costs her to grin, by the she grimaces right after.
I wish I knew who this motherfucker was.
"I'm not doing that, but I did have to put myself on a budget.
What do you do?" I ask, wanting to keep her talking.
I know how I am when I get too deep into my head, and I worry she might be the same way.
"I watch a lot of horrible TV, listen to audiobooks, read romance, take a walk.
Anything I can do to try and get my mind off of it.
I spend a lot of time alone, but it's not what I love.
Sometimes I feel as if I need a partner, or a really good friend, but unfortunately, Molly has a man now and she has no time for me. "
I grunt in agreement. "It's the same with Dakota. He and I weren't ever best friends, but we knew each other, and spent time together. They're totally up each other's asses now. I get it, but I miss hanging out."
She turns, pulling her knee up on the couch. "Then maybe we can hang out with each other?"
"If you don't mind a kid who asks a ton of questions, and can sometimes be a pain in the ass." I nod toward Nic. "It's really hard being a single parent, but I think it's probably worse being a single dad."
"She doesn't scare me. In fact, I think it's pretty fucking hot that you're a single dad. You take care of her, and it's obvious she adores you."
Glancing down at Nic, I let my gaze run over here, taking in how unbothered she is to be laying on the floor, watching her show.
"She's my life, and I would do anything to make sure she knows she's loved.
Work extra hard at that," I take a drink of my water.
"Since her Mom left. I worry about her because she doesn't know what it's like to have a positive woman in her life. "
She tilts her head to the side, looking at my daughter. "Then while I'm here, I'll do my best to give her an idea of what that looks like. As long as it's good for you."
My throat tightens, and i know that at the end of this both Nic and I will probably be decimated, but I agree anyway. "It is."
And with those words, she gives me a wink and slides off the couch, sitting next to her, even though I know it costs her a lot of pain.
But she does it without complaint and that's everything I've always wanted.
For the first time in a long time, I don't question it, I enjoy it, and hope like hell I'm not making a huge mistake.