Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Danika
The library is packed by the time we get there and Paige has to scare off a group of freshmen for us to get a table. She suggests getting a study room, but I recall what my best friend did in one of those rooms last year and quickly veto the idea.
Nico was absent from anatomy lab, and I start getting my hopes up that he might’ve transferred and I can finally relax.
Carter still texts him the location of our group—mostly just to not be the only boy—but I doubt he’ll come.
He’s missed a lot and he’s certainly not going to be getting any help from me if he does show up.
We’re halfway through our notes on cardiac electrophysiology when the seat next to me suddenly fills. When I glance at the new occupant, my eyes widen. It’s Nico. Which is upsetting enough but…he has a swollen eye.
“What the hell happened to you?” Paige asks before I get to. Which is good, because I don’t want him to think that I care. Because I don’t. I’m just curious.
“Don’t worry about it,” he murmurs, taking out his books.
“Sorry, I’m late. What did I miss?” He finally looks at me and I’m shocked by his expression.
He looks like he’s lost all the fight he had in him.
Like his spirit has been punched out of him.
I have no idea who did this to him or why, but I do kind of feel bad. But not bad enough.
“You missed a lot,” I say, looking back to my own notes. I’m not buying into this. I’m ready to move on. But apparently, Paige isn’t.
“Nico, what the fuck? You can’t just show up after being MIA and not give us the details.”
Carter nods his head in agreement with his girlfriend, as he always does, and Paige folds her arms as if to show she’s not going to move on until he tells us what happened.
“Really, it’s fine.”
“Oh my god, Nico,” I gesture wildly toward the stubborn couple across from us. “Just tell us, I need to know who to write my check out to,” I tease.
He huffs out a breath. “Yeah, you would like to personally thank this person, I’m sure.” My eyes bolt to him but he’s opening his book now, not paying us any more attention.
He’s not insinuating….
There’s no way…
Arden wouldn’t…
Would he?
Fuck.
Even though I was dying to get to the bottom of this situation, I can’t afford to miss any study time with this anatomy test coming up.
Somehow, we get through an hour of studying without any of us bringing up Nico’s face again.
It’s productive but I’m distracted the whole time.
I need to get home and talk to Arden. And the sooner the better because this feeling in my gut is threatening to eat me from the inside out.
When I get home, Arden looks like he’s been pacing the living room because he stops and turns to face me the second the door opens.
“Hey, where have you been? I texted you.”
“Sorry,” I mutter. “I was studying. I must’ve missed it.” I put my jacket on the hook and kick off my shoes. I take a few tentative steps toward Arden and he looks at me like I’m a deer in headlights ready to bolt at the slightest move.
Arden opens his mouth to speak but I beat him to it.
“Nico has a black eye.”
He closes his mouth, narrows his eyes, then opens it again.
“Good.”
“Did you give it to him?”
“No, but I’d love to shake the hand of the person who did.”
“So, you had nothing to do with it?”
Arden takes a step toward me, and I want to back up but I stand my ground. “No, I had nothing to do with it. Did he tell you I had something to do with it?”
“He implied.”
“Oh, that’s nice. So, you’re trusting his implication over my truth.”
“No, I’m just trying to get the facts.”
He takes another step. He looks angry. I don’t cower.
Don’t you fucking cower, Danika. “I’m telling you the facts, Danika.
Do you believe me?” He looks at me, and I want to believe him so fucking badly but…
his past is against him here. He’s done this before.
For my honor, he’s even admitted to me. Why wouldn’t he do it again?
I’m sure Nico said some fucking awful shit to him that started the whole fight but I don’t know if I believe Arden wouldn’t resort to violence to protect me.
Especially now that he’s deemed me “his”.
“Do you believe me?” He asks again and it’s the sadness in his voice that gives me pause. He really wants me to believe him. But I just don’t know who is telling me the truth.
I’m silent while trying to think of a response but Arden takes that silence as a big fat “no”. He turns and grabs his phone and keys, leaving the apartment without a second glance or another word. And I’m left standing in the living room thinking what the fuck have I just done.
Arden comes back at around nine-thirty and he catches me right after showering and brushing my teeth but before heading to my room. I’m in a towel though, which seems like an even more intimate position to be in after last night.
He drops his keys on the counter and walks right up to me, stopping a few feet away.
My instinct tells me to give him space, to back up, to retreat.
But there’s something in his expression that tells me he’s calmed down.
I wish I could say I’m used to seeing that expression from my childhood but I’m definitely not.
My father never calmed down. He didn’t ever leave to collect his thoughts and calm down.
He would react whatever way he wanted to in the moment, consequences be damned.
That’s why I kept a broom in the coat closet.
My mother and I were sweeping up shattered glass on a regular basis.
“Hey,” he says, his throat bobbing nervously. This affected him too.
“Hi.”
I clutch the towel tighter to my body, wishing like hell I was in my pjs, or literally anything else. I don’t even have my favorite robe on. At least I don’t have my hair up in a wrap.
“First, I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I’m working on managing those impulses. I was just so caught off guard, I couldn’t control my reaction.”
I’m confused because I don’t feel like he overreacted at all. I am the one who didn’t trust him. I would’ve reacted the exact same way if the roles were reversed, maybe even worse.
“I was hurt that you took his word over mine—” I open my mouth to speak, but he continues on. “But, I understand why you would. I have a reputation and I fucking hate the guy so, yeah, the pieces make sense together.”
He sighs, his arm twitching to touch mine but he holds back. “I did run into him on campus and we might’ve exchanged a few heated words, but I didn’t lay a hand on him. I swear it.”
“I know you didn’t.”
“You do?”
“Yes, I believe you. I’m sorry that it took me a minute but I could tell by your reaction that there’s no way you could’ve done that.
Plus, Nico would’ve shouted it to the world if you were the one that did it.
I had just assumed based on a comment he said.
I shouldn’t have jumped the gun like that. ”
He nods, releasing a weighted sigh of relief. “I understand why you did.”
“Still, it’s not fair to you and I’m sorry.”
“I appreciate that.”
Somehow in the last few seconds, we’ve shifted closer to each other. My neck is straining to meet his eyes and his smirk is widening by the second.
“What’s second?”
“Hm?” I ask, clearly distracted now.
“When you came in you said ‘first,’ so what’s second?”
“Oh.” He looks down at my body then back to my face. “Second is that you look so damn beautiful in just a towel.”
I beam brightly at the praise, and it dares me to be even bolder. “Should I leave it on then?” I tease, slowly untwisting the knot at the top. I let the towel drop and Arden’s breath hitches. “Or is it better on the floor?”
“We should leave it on the floor forever,” Arden says, hoisting me up against his chest. I giggle at the sudden but entirely welcome movement and then kiss him so hard I feel like our lips are going to be permanently molded together. Would I mind that?
Arden walks us to his doorway and kicks the door open, placing kisses to my neck, jaw, and collarbone.
Of all the outcomes of today, in my head, this was the least likely. I’m so incredibly happy it turned out this way because it’s the one I wanted the most. And I can tell Arden feels the exact same way.
As we collapse on the bed, I grip him tightly, feeling more and more happy to not have to let him go. He makes quick work of his clothes and grabs a condom from the drawer without my having to ask.
“Hmm, you smell like coffee.” I mutter against his neck as he covers himself.
“Ah, sorry. I didn’t get a chance to shower after my shift. I was going to do that now actually, do you want me to–”
Using my legs, I push our centers as close as they can go without going all the way. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
Arden’s grin matches mine as he pulls me impossibly closer and we connect.
We move in rhythm and pleasure and desire.
His fingers work me the same way he does and within a few minutes we both meet our ends together.
Arden pants, collapsing on top of me and I welcome his weight.
He’s like my own personal weighted blanket.
After a few seconds, he peels himself off of me, kissing my nose as he shifts to my side.
“I’m going to shower now. You can stay here if you want,” he says, grabbing the towel that’s draped over his desk chair on his way out.
He doesn’t look back at me, just walks to the bathroom and closes the door. The next second, I hear water pouring.
You can stay here if you want.
He wants me to sleep in his bed tonight.
But we have rules and that’s rule number one. No sleepovers. Cuddling makes everything worse. Cuddling builds attachments. At least with sex, it’s an in and out deal. Literally. But cuddling? There is so much gray area to that.
And last time, he called me “his”.
But he didn’t this time.
I’m all jumbled up. I have no idea what I should do. All I know is that I need to make a decision before that water stops or it’s gonna end up making my decision for me.
I know these feelings I have for Arden aren’t fleeting, but I also know that I’m not ready to face the demons that come with being with someone like him.
I don’t want to make the same mistakes my mother did. Still does.
The water stops and I make my choice. Jumping from the bed, I run into the living room, grab the towel and sprint into my room.
I should just close the door behind me but I can’t help and see his reaction.
I peek my eye through the tiniest slit in the door, watching the steam pour out of the bathroom as he leaves.
He looks delicious in just a towel with the water drops glistening on his stomach.
I have to hold back the urge to burst out of the room and jump him for round two.
Arden turns his back and looks into his doorway, stopping before entering.
His shoulders drop slightly and I know I’ve disappointed him.
He shouldn't be surprised, we have rules. But still, I don’t like to see him upset.
He turns, looking at my door and I back away so he can’t see me. Hopefully he sees my ajar door as a beacon that I haven’t shut him out completely. The door is slightly open and so is my heart. Whether I want it to be or not.