Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Arden
She’s scaring the shit out of me. In more ways than one.
Her chest moves up and down with each breath and it’s reminding me to take my own. But the more I look at her, the harder it is to catch my own breath. She’s ruining me.
I know she’s still worried that I’m a ticking time bomb but I am determined more than ever to prove to her that that’s not the case. Every session I have with Melissa proves that I’m able to make a change. That I see the problem and I’m taking active steps toward fixing it.
I wish I could tell her that I’m seeing a therapist and working on my issues.
But I don’t want her to think I’m broken.
Weak. That I could snap at any moment. I’m not like that.
I can only show her over time. I’m not going to rush anything but I want her to know I’m serious.
I don’t want anyone but her. If I’m honest with myself, I haven’t wanted anyone but her in a very long time. Longer than I’d like to admit.
I need to do something to get her to understand that I’m the real deal.
I’m not going anywhere. This “pretend” boyfriend thing was a joke at first but I always knew it would lead to something like this.
I just didn’t want to admit it. And I know Danika would never.
I know that she’s way too headstrong to admit that this really hasn’t been fake at all.
She’s been asleep for a few hours and she really should wake up and eat something but I’m not about to be the one to tell her that. As if she heard my thoughts, though, her eyes start to blink and she opens them wide.
“I’m hungry,” she says, yawning.
“I figured you would be.” I go to her side and kneel down next to the bed. “I got your favorite chicken fingers and pizza bagels. Do you want me to make that?”
“Yes, please,” she says. “Let me help.” She tries to get up from the bed but I don’t let her.
“Absolutely not. You stay, I’ve got it handled.”
Without another word, I head to the kitchen and pop her food into the preheated oven.
I make some for myself too because I also love dino nuggets, but I’m mostly thinking of her.
While it’s cooking, I peruse my statistics notes.
It’s actually been a while since she’s tutored me but I’m not going to hold it against her.
She’s been very busy on her own and her help has already been useful to me.
A double take shows Danika standing in the doorway in nothing but her underwear and t-shirt. “What are you doing? Get back into bed.” And where are your goddamn pants?
“I just wanted to stretch my legs a bit. Plus, I need to pee.” She gestures toward the bathroom. “May I?” She taunts and I shake my head as she closes the door behind her.
After a few minutes, she comes back out, just in time for the food to be ready.
“I’m not eating in bed so deal with it.”
“Fine,” I mutter, plating everything. “Just sit on the couch then.” She follows my instructions and I bring her the unhealthy spread of food. We eat for a few minutes before I grab the TV remote. Anything to break the silence.
“Do you want me to put on a movie?”
“It’s okay,” she says, chewing on a dino nug. “We can just talk.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
She thinks for a moment. “Do you need more help with stats? Your midterm must be coming up soon, right?”
“It’s on Thursday.”
“Arden!” She smacks my arm. “Why didn’t you tell me? Go, get your notes. Now.”
I’m shaking my head before she even finishes the sentence. “Absolutely not. We have all week to study. This weekend is for resting.”
“But I’m really busy studying on my own this week. I don’t know when I’ll be able to help you.” The dejected tone of her voice almost makes me break but I stick to my guns. She doesn’t need to be looking at tiny words on a bright white page. She needs to rest.
“It’s okay, brat. You’ve done enough helping so far. I think I got this one in the bag.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I take her hand in mine and give it a gentle squeeze. She gives me a tiny grin but nods in agreement.
The plates are empty and the clock shows just after ten pm. We really should be getting to bed. I’ve got a shift in the morning and I still want to be sure she’s okay before I go.
We take turns getting ready for bed in the bathroom and then Danika goes to her room to put on pajamas. I half expect her to try and stay there but she knows I’d just drag her out or sleep in there with her. I wasn’t kidding about keeping an eye on her. Plus, it’s an excuse to have her close.
I’m sliding into the bed when she walks in, trying my damn hardest to not look at her nipples through the threadbare tank top she threw on.
“I should’ve known you wouldn’t be a gentleman and attempt to sleep on the floor,” she teases.
“Why would I do that? I’ve literally been inside of you.”
“Oh my god, Arden.” Dani grabs the pillow and throws it at my head. I laugh, catching it and then putting it back where it belongs. Under her head.
She slides into her side of the bed and pulls the covers up to her neck, curling up to get comfortable. She turns her head to look at me and I almost lose my breath. Seeing her there, in my bed, tucked in like she belongs there. Because she does. Danika Freeman belongs wherever I am.
“Do you want me to put a pillow barrier up between us?” I am being serious even though doing it would kill something inside of me to do it. I’ve never been happier to hear a laugh in my entire life.
“No, Arden. I think we can control ourselves. Right?”
No.
To be clear, if she wasn’t injured, we would’ve already been together at least three times tonight but that’s definitely not happening so yes, we can control ourselves. Or, at least, we have to.
“Of course.” I pull the covers up on myself and turn the bedside lamp off, plunging us into darkness. I’m ready to close my eyes and forget the events of today, the fact that Dani got hurt worst of all. I don’t want to think about it anymore.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
I turn to face her and see through a tiny sliver of light cast through the window that she’s already turned to face me. “Huh?”
“Thank you for today. For taking care of me. For being worried about me.”
Why is she thanking me for worrying about her? Of course I worried about her. I always worry about her.
“Dani, that’s–”
“I know, I know,” she cuts me off. “Just, I really appreciate it.” She shimmies up and over a little so that our noses are practically touching. “A lot.” She places a gentle kiss on my lips. It’s tender and loving and something I could absolutely get used to.
I want to prolong the kiss. Because, of course I do. But she slides away and turns to her other side. She’s inches away. If I wanted to, I could grab her waist and pull her against me, our bodies fitting together like the puzzle pieces I know they are.
“Goodnight, Arden,” Danika says from her side of the bed.
“Goodnight, brat.”
Before I can turn away, Danika’s hand finds mine under the covers and she interlocks our fingers, anchoring us together. I drift asleep with the feel of her skin on mine and a larger than life smile on my face.