Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
Arden
“For the record, I am glad you came.”
I sigh. “For the record, I’m not sure I am.”
When Margot called me about Thanksgiving in Connecticut, my initial reaction was a big fat no. Not only would that mean being away from Danika for the holidays, it would mean not going back to South Carolina at all. While I love the fall vibes in the Northeast, I miss my sweet tea and porch swing.
However, after that fight with Danika, I needed to get away and Connecticut seemed as good a place as any.
Plus, the only way for Dad and Memaw to get to Connecticut was for me to fly down and drive them there and back so I’ll get my Southern fix when I drop them back off.
Besides, spending time with my family is special no matter where we are.
I’m just shocked that Margot got Memaw to even leave the state.
“Too many people in the North,” she always says. We’ve always placated her when she says that but honestly, she’s not wrong. And the fact that there’s so many people in the North and I still can’t stop thinking about one particular girl is mind boggling.
Margot and I are sitting on the deck overlooking the lake, our Thanksgiving meal long over and most of the grown-ups have gone to sleep. Alex joins us outside with two beers for him and me and a glass of wine for Margot. His little brother, Drew, trails behind.
Drew looks at the bottle in my hand. “Hey, can I have a—”
“No,” we all say in unison to Alex’s sixteen-year-old brother, who pouts but accepts our decision.
We sip our drinks and stare at the dark sky for a while, gazing at the stars. I wonder if Danika is looking at the same stars right now.
“Okay, Arden. I’m sorry but I need to tell you something,” Margot blurts out. But until now she hasn’t made it seem like she was keeping something from me but I don’t know if that’s because she’s a really good liar or if I’m just insanely unobservant.
“What is it?”
Margot opens her mouth but her boyfriend, Alex interrupts her. “Drewster, let’s go in. I want some more pie.”
Drew protests but Alex pulls him up by the scruff of his hair. He yelps and follows Alex, who’s placed a kiss on my sister’s forehead, inside the house.
“Margot.”
Margot squeezes her eyes shut. “I told Danika that you’re in therapy.”
For the first time in my life, I’m speechless.
“You had no right to do that.”
“Listen—”
“No, Margot. That wasn’t your information to tell.”
Margot shifts in her seat. “She ran to me after your fight, and she was so upset. She thought you were seeing someone else so I just had to tell her the truth. I’m sorry, but she’s my best friend.”
“And I’m your brother.” I’m getting really angry at her but I can’t help it. This is exactly the situation I didn’t want to happen. I was avoiding telling Danika about this until I knew for sure that I was well enough to be with her, to take care of her.
Now, all I know is that she probably thinks I’m a basketcase with more than a few screws loose.
I don’t want to lose my temper with Margot but I can’t help it. Calm down. I take a few deep breaths but it’s not helping.
“Damnit, Margot,” I burst. Take deep fucking breaths. “I—” With a huff, I pull out my phone and open the CalmMe app. I do a quick scroll of my favorited exercises and I pull up the five senses grounding technique.
I take a deep breath and look around. What do I see?
Lake, trees, Margot, spider web, lantern.
I close my eyes. What can I feel? Table, chair, beer bottle, condensation.
Keeping my eyes closed, I tilt my head. What do I hear?
Birds singing, bugs chirping, water lapping on the dock.
I take a big whiff. What do I smell? Lake water, fresh air.
I let out a deep breath. What do I taste? Beer.
When I open my eyes again, Margot’s looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. “What was that?”
“It’s a calming technique. I’ve been using strategies to calm myself down when I’m feeling overwhelmed or angry and I can’t control it.”
“You seem like you controlled it well just now.”
“Well, the techniques have been working.”
Margot observes me for another moment, and I’m still very upset with her but I feel like I can listen to what she has to say without exploding.
“Arden, I’m sorry. I know it wasn’t my place to tell her. I shouldn’t have chosen her over you at that moment.”
I release a sigh of resignation. “I understand why you did it. She can be pretty persuasive when she wants to be,” I jest. Margot chuckles in agreement.
“What did she say?”
“Hmm?”
“When you told her…what did she say?”
“She was confused at first, but then she was very understanding. She realized that she had overreacted to the whole misunderstanding.”
“I certainly did, as well.”
Margot grunts in agreement, sipping her wine. “So what now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you going to talk to her?”
I thought about it for a moment. Of course I was going to talk to her.
There’s no way that that fight is going to be the last time we ever speak.
But I don’t know what she’s thinking about the whole thing.
And now that I know that she knows, I think it’s best that I give her the time she needs to come to terms with it, gather any questions she may have and then we can talk about it all when she’s ready.
I look over at Margot who’s watching her boyfriend through the kitchen window. The love in her eyes is apparent.
“To answer your question,” Margot whips her head to me. “I am going to talk to her.”
“When?” Margot asks, hope in her voice.
“When the time is right.”