Chapter 12 Gage
Gage
Christmas Day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp.
~ Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
“You think you could lift me?” Tori asks me.
“I can lift you.”
Tori tips her head to the side and squints her eyes at me.
I still have a grip on her wrist. I resist the urge to caress the soft skin with my thumb. Instead, I give her a light, reassuring squeeze. Her eyes lock onto mine.
“Okay. Pull me up. I don’t know what damage I might do trying to shimmy up this wall of dirt, but I don’t want to twist an ankle and end up hobbling down the aisle.”
A vision of Tori in a beaded white lace gown and veil pops into my head and I feel my brow crinkle in confusion.
“Alyssa and Carson’s wedding?”
“Oh. Yeah. Right. Of course.” I take a breath. “Well, no sprained ankles on my watch.”
“Deal,” Tori says, extending me her other hand. I grasp both her wrists and she squeezes mine with a near death grip.
“Leave some space for the blood to actually reach my fingers,” I joke.
“Oh! Sorry!” Tori blushes when she looks up at me.
“Ready?” I ask.
“Yes,” she answers.
“Use your feet against the wall for traction if you want, but I’m just going to lift you on three.”
“You said you’d do all the work,” she teases.
I tilt my head and smile at her spunk. I can only hope she sees what her banter does to me.
I focus, counting to three and lifting Tori off her feet. She pushes off the side of the hill to help propel herself upward midway. I take a step backward. Her feet clear the edge of the drop-off, but before she’s firmly on solid ground, I lose my footing and go tumbling backward.
We both fly toward a spot full of low growing plants just off the path. We’re going down.
Tori squeals.
I shout, “I’ve got you!”
Our hands are still entwined, but I loosen mine quickly enough to grasp Tori around the waist and hold her to me while I brace our fall with my other arm.
We land with an “Oof.” Tori’s hands are planted on my chest. Her head is tucked up under my chin, her hair splayed across my face.
She lifts her torso, pushing away like she’s doing a pushup, and looks down at me, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, breath coming out in rapid bursts.
“I’m … uh …” she says, shaking her head slightly and smiling down at me.
“Are you okay?” I ask, staring up into her crystal blue eyes.
She giggles, and then breaks into a laugh, nodding at me.
I don’t laugh, but I watch her—feel her—want her.
Toothpick comes running over, sniffing and whimpering.
Tori turns her head and lifts one of her hands off my chest to ruffle Toothpick’s head.
“We’re okay, Toothpick,” she assures him.
Tori’s still on top of me, and it’s obvious the moment she fully realizes it.
“Um. I’ll just … Yeah. Well, thanks.” She hops up, brushing herself off.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I double check.
I stand. Tori stares up at me.
“You’ve got …” She points to the top of my head, making a light brushing gesture. “And yes. I’m good. You’re the one who fell with an entire other human on top of you. That was impressive.”
“Falling with you on top of me was impressive?”
I brush my hand over my hair and some leaves and debris fall to the ground.
“Pulling me up over that high wall of dirt single-handedly and keeping me safe when we fell? That’s straight out of a romance novel.” She glances away and then back up at me. “You know … Or, like a fantasy novel. Hero stuff, I mean.”
She’s talking over her own words and blushing. That means something, right?
“Hero stuff,” I repeat. “You’re easily impressed.”
“I am.” She shrugs. “Especially by things that are extra impressive.”
She smiles up at me, and then she turns and picks up Toothpick’s leash and says, “We’d better get going.”
We make our way down the rest of the path to my car easily. I drop Tori and her bag of books off at her home. Toothpick and I drive to my house. When I look in the mirror after my shower, I’m smiling—for no apparent reason.
The rehearsal goes off without a hitch. I thought I was walking Stephanie down the aisle, but by some twist of fate, I end up paired with Tori.
She loops her hand through the crook of my elbow and we follow Noelle and Liam down the aisle into the church foyer.
After the rehearsal we all grab pizza at The Pizza Den for the most casual rehearsal dinner ever.
After dinner, our group mingles out front of the restaurant in the parking lot, saying our goodbyes. I overhear Tori telling Noelle, “It’s okay. I’ll find a ride. Don’t worry about it.”
“A ride?” I ask her quietly.
“Yeah,” Tori looks up at me. “Noelle and Liam drove me here. They have to stop at her sister’s on the way home.”
“I can drive you,” I offer.
“Really?”
Mitch happens to be standing right behind Tori. He wags his brows and gives me a thumbs-up. I shake my head at him.
“Oh,” Tori says. “Is that a no?”
“No. No. It’s a yes. Sorry. Mitch was just goofing off behind you.”
“I could give you a ride, Tori,” Mitch offers.
She turns toward him and then looks back at me.
“I live a little closer to you than Gage does,” Mitch presses on.
I shoot Mitch a look. He smiles at me.
“Oh, uh …” Tori sputters. She hates this kind of situation where she can’t make everyone happy at the same time.
“I’ve already offered. Thanks,” I tell Mitch, giving him a what-are-you-thinking glare when Tori’s not looking.
“Thanks anyway,” Tori says to Mitch. “I appreciate the offer.”
“No problem. I’m glad to drive you anytime.”
I feel my eyes narrow in his direction.
He’s so unfazed, he waves at both of us nonchalantly and heads to his truck.
Our friends all disperse to their cars and Tori slips into my passenger seat with a comfortable familiarity after riding around with me all day today.
“Thanks again for driving me,” she says.
“It’s not a problem.”
Her voice is airy when she says, “The rehearsal was beautiful. Wasn’t it?”
“It went well,” I agree.
She laughs lightly. “It’s not an exam, Gage.
They’re getting married. A wedding day is something girls dream of their whole lives.
And tomorrow, Carson and Alyssa will make it official.
From that day on, they’ll be living together, sharing everything, starting their own family.
It’s so …” She sighs. “... magical. They’re so good together. I’m beyond happy for them.”
“Yes to all that,” I say, since I can’t think of a better way to express my thoughts about one of my best friends finding a woman who truly loves him and building a life with her.
“It went well,” Tori scoffs. “Seriously, Gage. It went well?”
“Well, it did,” I say, matter-of-factly.
She just laughs at me. “That’s not very romantic.”
“I can be romantic,” I say in an overly defensive tone.
“I don’t doubt it,” she retorts playfully.
When I don’t answer her, the air in the car goes still and the moment between us feels like a weighted blanket—heavy, but unexpectedly comfortable.
I can be romantic. And I will be, if she lets me.
I pull up in front of Tori’s house and kill the engine.
“You know,” Tori says shyly, glancing over at me. “That Christmas cocoa isn’t going to drink itself.”
I chuckle. “Yeah. Probably a good thing it won’t.”
“Want to come in and have a cup?” She glances at me again and then out the front windshield into the dark night sky. “That is, if you want to. I know we have the wedding tomorrow, but it’s not until evening … But, you know … You could always come by another time … or not.”
“I’d love to.”
“You would?”
“Yeah. Like you said, it’s not going to drink itself.”
She has no idea how my mind was spinning trying to drum up some excuse to secretly grab up a little more time with her before we have to say goodnight.
I hop out of the car and come around to open her door.
Tori stares up at me as she passes, “You know, you don’t seem as grinchy as you did a few weeks ago.” Her smile is wide. “Maybe you’ll have to turn in those socks now.”
“Turn in those socks?” I ask.
“The Grinch socks.”
“How did you know I got Grinch socks?”
She pauses, and then she says, “I think you mentioned them. Didn’t your secret Santa get them for you?”
“Did I? I don’t remember mentioning it.”
“You did. How else would I know?” She tries to shrug it off but there’s this playful glint in her eyes.
“Exactly. How else would you know?”
I did mention it. I remember now. And I didn’t catch it then, but there’s no mistaking her glee. It’s not merely a delight in the fact that someone got me Grinch socks.
Tori walks toward her door. I watch her with a private smile on my face.
Tori’s my secret Santa.
I had hoped so.
And somehow, against the odds, I’m certain she is.
Tori’s home feels warm and welcoming. She heads straight into the kitchen and puts on some water to boil. I glance at the list on the fridge.
“My list,” she says with a smile.
“You’ve done a lot of these,” I say, looking at the ones she checked off.
“So have you,” she says with a soft smile.
“Was that your devious, subversive plan?”
“One hundred percent.”
She takes the cocoa out of the cupboard and puts a bit of powder in each mug she set on the counter. Then she carefully pours the hot water and mixes.
She hands me a mug. “You were so forlorn. Or maybe I just imagined that. I couldn’t imagine anyone actually disliking the holidays the way you seemed to. I didn’t remember you being that broody about them last year, so I decided to loop you in.”
“That was … thoughtful.” I smile at her, sipping my cocoa.
“I can be thoughtful,” she says.
“I’m pretty sure you’re always thoughtful,” I tell her.
My voice is low and serious. I take a sip of cocoa.
I could ask her out right now. But tomorrow’s the wedding. If I’m reading her wrong, I’ll just make things awkward on a day we both need to be focusing on our close friends. It’s their day, not mine.
I glance back at the list. “You still have a few of these to finish.”
“Maybe you can help me,” she says.
And then she takes a sip of her cocoa, but her eyes never leave mine.
We finish our drinks and I tell Tori I have to get home to let Toothpick out and get some sleep. She walks me to the door and surprises me by giving me a hug.
“Thank you for today,” she says softly into my chest.
“Thank you. I had a great day.”
She feels right in my arms, but I don’t want to make things weird, so I give her a squeeze and step back.
“I’ll see you tomorrow at the wedding,” I say, opening the screen door to step onto her porch.
“See you then. Drive safely, Gage.”
“I will. Good night.”
She says goodnight and watches me while I walk to my car. I’m pulling away when she closes the door to her home. She feels this too, I’m almost certain. I’m going to shoot my shot. I just have to clear one thing up first.
I push the Bluetooth on my steering wheel to call Mitch.
“Hey,” he answers after the first ring.
“What are your thoughts about Tori?”
“No greeting?”
“Hi. What are your thoughts?”
His chuckle is nearly imperceptible, but I catch it. “She’s cool. Why?”
“Because you’ve been wagging your eyebrows in her direction, winking at her and doing every other type of flirting ever since the tree lighting. Then tonight you cut in and offered to drive her home. I need to know what you’re thinking.”
“Is this a bro-code moment?”
“Call it what you will. Are you interested in her?”
“Nah, man. But you are. I just wanted to get under your skin so you’d do something about it.”
“Seriously, Mitch? I ought to …”
“Thank me?”
“We’ll see. I’m not sure whether she’s interested in me. I think she might be. The whole thing with Darla knocked me off my game. I’ve never been so hesitant about telling a woman I have feelings for her before.”
“Don’t let Darla win, man.”
“You’re right.” I pause. Mitch is a goof, but he’s also one of my oldest and closest friends. “I really like Tori. A lot.”
“I like her for you. And, as much as it pains me to say it, I like you for her too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You’re like the ying to her yang—the sour to her sweet.” He chuckles.
“I’m not sour.”
“Not as bad as you were. I’ll give you that.”
“She makes me want to come out of my shell.”
Mitch doesn’t say a word. I can almost feel his smile through the phone.
Then he says, “You know what you need to do, then.”
“Yeah. I do. And I’m her secret Santa.”
He laughs. “Fate’s on your side, Gage.”
I smile. “Maybe. We’ll see.”
“Here’s what I know,” Mitch says. “All the girls wanted you in high school. You were that aloof, strong, silent guy they wanted to rescue or crack the code on. You’ve got that man of mystery thing going for you.
And, in all seriousness, you’re the kind of man who notices things.
Women love that. You see the details and you follow through.
Tori’s already warmed up to you. And she’s not the type of woman to be mean to anyone.
Even if this doesn’t work out, she’s going to let you down gently. ”
The idea of Tori letting me down stings a little. What we’re doing now feels hopeful. Maybe I’ve got a chance with her if we keep hanging out like we did today. Putting myself out there will force her to decide.
If she’s not interested, we’ll spend the rest of our lives in this small town, seeing one another in our overlapping friend group, at community events, and bumping into one another on a regular basis.
But if she is interested? I could see us together: nights on my couch curled up with Toothpick, hikes in the woods, lunches at Judy’s.
I’d take her out flying if she wanted to go.
My mind travels down a path of possibilities into what might happen a year from now if we started dating.
A different black box might nestle in the back of my sock drawer.
“Gage?” Mitch’s voice breaks through my thoughts.
“Yeah?”
“I thought you hung up.”
“No. I’m just thinking.”
Mitch chuckles. “Get out of your head, man. Do something about your feelings for Tori.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” I nod decisively even though Mitch can’t see me. “Okay.”
“I’m right,” he says with his trademark self-satisfaction.
I feel myself smiling.
“You’re right this time.”
“I’ll take it. Man, all my friends are dating women in the same friend group.”
“Your time will come,” I assure him. “Besides, I’m not dating Tori yet.”
“I’ve got a good feeling about you two.”
I don’t know how he does it, but that one sentence fuels my resolve. I’m going to let Tori know I’m interested. You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take. I’m taking this shot.