1. Griffin #2
I feel a twinge of guilt. While they’re all wrestling with family decisions, my biggest concern is whether Swiss food will agree with me. “Maybe they’ll reach a deal at the last minute?”
“Yeah, and maybe Malcolm Chase will start paying the female staff fairly,” Owen snorts. “Not holding my breath.”
“Did you guys see his latest press statement?” Hendrix says, yanking off his shoulder pads. “Trying to spin this whole CBA thing like he’s protecting the stockholders.” He makes air quotes with his fingers.
Owen snorts. “Right, because he’s such a humanitarian.”
“Guy’s worth what, half a billion?” Kevin shakes his head. “And he’s crying poor about player salaries?”
“Anyone else buy in when they offered?” Hendrix asks. “I’ve got the automatic deduction from my paycheck. Don’t even notice it’s gone.”
I nod, remembering the investment package Malcolm’s office circulated a few months back. The promise of being a stockholder of the team we play for had seemed too good to pass up.
“Guilty.” Owen nods. “Emily wasn’t sure about it at first, but the projected returns looked promising.”
“I did,” I admit, raising my hand. “Seemed like a solid investment at the time.”
“Same,” Kevin says. “Leigh thought it would be good for our retirement portfolio.”
“Not me.” Sawyer holds up his hands. “No offense, but after everything with my dad…I’m staying away from anything that smells like creative financing. I prefer my money where I can see it.”
“Fair enough,” Hendrix says. “But Chase makes it sound like we’re all going to be billionaires.” He snorts. “Well, millionaire-aires.”
“Honestly, Hendrix,” Owen says, pulling a face. “How on earth did you get that English teacher to fall for you?”
“It wasn’t for his grammar,” I say.
Hendrix just grins. “You know what I mean. Anyway, maybe someday we’ll actually have a say in how this team is run.”
“Malcolm’s full of it,” Sawyer says. “Using the stockholders as shields when we all know he’s just being greedy. Like, dude. You’re not fooling anyone.”
The whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but the investment numbers don’t lie. The returns have been solid month after month. Still, something about Malcolm’s latest spin raises my hackles.
“We should have a lockout party!” Beckett’s eyes light up like he just invented sliced bread. “My place, pizza, beer. We can watch the negotiations play out and drink every time someone says ‘good faith bargaining.’”
“Pass,” Kevin says, zipping up his bag. “Leigh’s got weird pregnancy cravings. Last night she wanted pickles dipped in Nutella at three AM.”
Owen shakes his head. “Emily’s got early training tomorrow.”
“Count me out too,” Sawyer says. “Maggie’s cooking tonight, and I value my life. Plus, Otto gets anxious when I’m out late.”
“Your parrot gets anxiety?” Beckett’s eyebrows shoot up.
“Don’t judge my bird, rookie.”
“What about you, Griffin?” Beckett turns to me. “You’re not married.”
I zip my bag, already dreaming of my bed. “Thanks, but I’d rather get some sleep. No point staying up worrying about something we can’t control. Getting worked up won’t change anything that happens at midnight.”
“Come on!” Beckett whines. “Where’s your team spirit?”
“Worrying won’t add a single hour to your life,” I say, channeling my inner fortune cookie. “Actually, pretty sure it does the opposite.”
The guys groan in unison, but I talk over them. “My grandmother used to say worrying is like a rocking chair. Gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere.”
“Who let Yoda in here?” Sawyer launches his sweaty jersey at my head.
I dodge, but Owen’s sock catches me right in the face. “Hey!”
“Nice try, Buddha!” Hendrix pelts me with his compression shorts.
“Gross, man!” I swat them away. “I’m just saying!”
A barrage of sweaty gear flies at me from all directions. “Real mature, guys.” A jockstrap nearly hits my mouth. “Okay, that’s just nasty. Who threw that?”
“The wisdom of Griffin McGregor, everyone,” Beckett announces in a mock-announcer voice. “Next up: how to die alone while spouting inspirational quotes!”
“Oh wise one.” Sawyer bows dramatically, hands pressed together like he’s praying. “Please bestow upon us more of your infinite wisdom!”
I roll my eyes. “You guys are ridiculous.”
“I bet he has a Pinterest board full of inspirational quotes,” Hendrix says. “Live, Laugh, Love…Hockey.”
“Dance like nobody’s watching!” Kevin adds with a twirl.
“That’s it. I’m never trying to be helpful again.”
“No, no, please!” Beckett clasps his hands together. “Tell us more about how goals are like butterflies. Beautiful but fleeting.”
“I hate all of you.”
“That’s not very Zen of you, Master Griffin,” Owen says in a mock-serious tone. “Remember, hatred leads to the dark side.”
“That’s Star Wars !” I protest.
“Should we get you one of those little desktop calendars?” Sawyer wipes tears from his eyes. “Daily Griffin-spirations?”
“With pictures of fluffy kittens hanging from tree branches?” Hendrix adds. “Hang in there…probably.”
“I bet he has one of those meditation apps,” Tolliver says. “The ones that play rainforest sounds while someone whispers about finding your inner peace.”
I give him a hard stare. “For your information, I prefer ocean sounds.”
The guys lose it completely. Owen actually doubles over, clutching his stomach.
“I’m leaving now,” I announce, shouldering my bag.
“Wait, wait,” Sawyer cries, barely able to speak without laughing. I need you to explain how life is like a box of chocolates.”
“You never know what you’re gonna get!” the rest of the guys all chorus after me as I head for the door.
“Keep calm and Griffin on!” Beckett calls out.
Owen adds, “When you get home, don’t forget to meditate and align your chakras.”
“I’m about to align your chakras,” I snap.
This sets them off again, and I leave to a chorus of “Namaste!” and “May the Force be with you!” following me out the door.