Chapter 38 #3
Her mother smiled. “Yes, of course.”
She could almost track the thoughts through her mother’s head about providence and the hand of God and happily-ever-afters. How could she still be such a romantic optimist after everything she’d been through?
She shoved a forkful of eggs into her mouth and nearly choked. She managed to swallow them down and then washed the taste out of her mouth by finishing off an entire glass of water. That was all her stomach could handle at the moment so she pushed the tray away.
“The priest from Sulen has come to take statements from the patrol for the Church,” her mother said. “He’ll want to speak with you. You remember Father Byrnes, don’t you?”
“I do,” she said. “I don’t wish to speak to him.”
She liked him well enough because he’d never been cruel to her mother, but she didn’t trust him any more than she trusted any other priest.
“Rowan…” There was a lifetime’s worth of disappointment in her tone.
“No.”
“You were captured by a witch,” her mother said. “Even if you don’t wish to receive counsel for that, you should at least receive a blessing.”
“No,” she said more firmly and her mother accepted it with a sigh.
“Is there a bathroom?”
Over her mother’s protests that she should use the bedpan instead, she managed to make her way to the small bathroom that was attached to the suite.
It was probably a good thing that her mother couldn’t see the way she swayed on her feet and clung to wall for several seconds as she made the journey.
She hated being so weak. She closed the door behind her, sealing out her mother’s voice muttering about stubborn patients and looked around her in wonder.
Casrian had running water in his home—a toilet and bath and a strange series of pipes that she thought might actually be a shower.
If she thought she could manage more time on her feet, she might have tried it out.
She was stubborn, not stupid. She used the toilet, scowled at the pale, wraithlike woman in the mirror above the sink. She splashed water over her face and brushed her teeth and then started the return trip to the bed. She’d made it halfway across the room when Casrian returned with the maid.
All of her muscles were trembling by that point. A light sheen of sweat bloomed on her skin. She was holding on to the wall for balance.
Fuck.
Casrian was across the room in an instant. The room spun as he lifted her into his arms.
“What do you think you’re doing?” His voice was tight as he carried her back to the bed.
She caught a glimpse of her mother smiling for some reason, the maid’s wide eyes as she grabbed the tray off the bed, and then Casrian’s face fierce and implacable as he laid her gently down.
She drank in the sight of him. His bright blue eyes.
Pinched brows. That firm mouth set in a frown.
He smelled good—so clean and fresh, like winter air.
A little smoky like he’d been standing beside a fire.
His hands lingered for a moment, one on her shoulder, the other just above her knee.
The voluminous nightgown separated her skin from his, which was just as well.
They had an audience, which he seemed to realize at the same time she did.
His expression closed off, and he reached for the blanket, pulling it up with a flick of his wrist.
“Don’t get out of bed again without help,” he ordered. “Your head is barely healed as it is. You can’t risk hitting it again in a fall.”
“I told her the same thing,” her mother said, standing up and taking Casrian’s arm. “Would you escort me down to the kitchen, Captain? I’d like to finish mixing up that salve for my daughter.”
He nodded, covering her hand with his own. “Of course.”
But he didn’t move to leave right away. He stood there a moment longer, just staring down at her like he wanted to tell her something but couldn’t quite figure out how to do it.
She didn’t know what to make of the expression on his face.
Whatever it was that had him looking like that, she wished he would just spit it out.
Trying to figure out what was going on in his head was giving her a headache.
It made her heart hurt too, which was stupid.
Her heart had no business getting involved in anything that had to do with the captain.
Her mother bent and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Rest, sweetheart. I’ll bring you the tea tonight.”
Casrian hesitated, still staring down at her with that strange searching expression on his face. “May I call on you in the morning?”
That seemed oddly formal. She frowned up at him. “It’s your house. I imagine you can do what you want in it.”
“Rowan…” Again, he bit back on whatever it was he wanted to say.
She gave him a weak smile. “I’ll be here.”
He nodded shortly and led her mother away, matching his pace to her shorter one.
She wondered what he wanted to speak to her about. He probably just wanted to apologize again. Or settle their debts. Or say good-bye.
A hollow feeling settled in her chest as she watched him leave the room.