30. Zoe
Zoe
The note is gone, but one has not been left in its place. So Cameron is still watching me, but he doesn't want to talk?
Oh, well.
Let's see how he likes being stalked.
I asked Cliff if he wanted to join me on my search, but he said he thought it was something I should do on my own. After dinner, we parted ways with a sweet kiss, and I began the hunt.
I decide to start at the edge of campus, so I jog to the athletic fields. At this time of the evening, there's no one here, but the gymnasium has several Alphas inside.
Not the one I'm looking for.
The Alphas either don't notice I'm here or they don't care, but my search doesn't take long. Searching Alpha residences is out of the question unless I can convince someone to let me in, but that feels pointless. I get the feeling he's hiding out elsewhere.
An hour after the dining hall closes, I make my way to the third floor of the Hub. It's got more people than I expected lounging around on the comfortable couches and around low tables. The coffee stand is still open, and small groups are chattering and studying.
No wonder the library is so empty all the time. Compared to the quiet stuffiness of the stacks, this may as well be a party. People are still segregated by designation here, and there are way more Betas than Alphas, but the mood is light and infectious.
Maybe I need to spend more time here. It would be a good way for me to be around some Alphas to see if my reaction to Cameron and Ray is because they're Alphas or if they're something more, like Dominic is.
I can worry about that later.
I'm about to leave when I see Viv curled up on a couch by herself with a book.
She catches my eye. "Zoe! What are you doing here?
" She pats the couch next to her, and I perch on the edge.
My dragon is simmering below the surface, urging me to continue my hunt, but I'm not going to blow Viv off for an Alpha.
How do I explain that I'm stalking my stalker and trying to find out why he stopped stalking me?
"I was looking for Cliff," I quickly lie. "We're going to study together."
She waggles her eyebrows with a girlish giggle. "Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?"
I bump my shoulder into hers. "Leave me alone. We're not there yet."
"What? You haven't slept together?"
"Jeez, say it a little louder, Viv."
"Sorry, I just figured that, since we're adults with pulses, you already would've climbed his tree trunk thighs."
A blush heats my face. "There's a lot going on. We'll get there."
She places her hand on top of mine. "I don't mean to sound like I'm rushing you. You take all the time you need, and if he tries to pressure you, I'll kick him in the throat."
"Cliff is literally the last person who would ever pressure me for sex. He's the sweetest man I've ever met."
"Well, if he does, you know where my feet are."
I'm not sure what I did to deserve a friend like Viv. I'm glad she approached me on our first day here; otherwise, I might never have met her.
"What are you doing here anyway?" I ask.
She holds up her book. "Reading in the library is too quiet. I like the ambient noise of this place." Her eyes dart from side to side, and she leans closer, dropping her voice. "Besides, there are some hot Alphas that come up here, and I haven't gotten my daily dose of eye candy."
"Well, enjoy your book. I gotta run."
"Yeah, yeah, go find your beau." Before I'm out of the door, she has her nose back in her book.
A quick look into the library shows it empty, and the administrative buildings are all locked up, leaving me with a place I have yet to explore.
The chapel.
I've heard that religious services are held regularly for each of the Gods, except Ilota, but I've never attended one, and I'm not going to start now. I wonder how Ilota would feel if I worshipped someone other than her. Does she even get a service?
Something, maybe intuition, maybe my dragon, stops me from opening the large double doors at the front of the chapel and barrelling through. I weave around the building until I find a single door and slide through it, entering a room filled with old pews and a broken pedestal.
There is a heaviness here that speaks to more than just furniture. Something in this room calls to me, pulling me deeper amongst the dust and debris.
I don't know what I'll do if someone catches me poking around back here, but the fear of getting caught doesn't stop me from digging around.
I find a portrait of Oren face down, resting against a pew.
They are painted sitting on the edge of a cliff, bare feet dangling, with a condor perched beside them, wings outstretched.
They're striking, with white-blond hair braided into multiple pieces away from their face.
The painting has a horizontal tear cutting through the cliff, separating it from the rest of the painting.
Beside it is a portrait of Kashmyre with a broken frame.
The God of Earth has thorns woven through his wild beard and multiple large cats painted around his feet, some cleaning themselves, some showing off their dangerous teeth.
His eyes, a brilliant green, seem to follow me as I move around the room.
A loud crack sounds underfoot as I step on something.
I pick up the painting, the stretcher bar broken, and the canvas sagging.
A beautiful woman with a gown made of sea foam is stretched out between a river and the sea in an estuary on a bed of cattails.
In the water around her, beady, reptilian eyes poke above the water, the sight of which makes me shudder.
Those Blessed by Aenella do not get to shift as often as others, since they all thrive in the water, but she has some of the most terrifying creatures at her disposal. Her reach may seem limited, but though she is titled the Goddess of the Sea, no waters escape her reach.
Why did I not notice something strange happening when I never saw portraits of Ilota? The Gods lined the halls of our university and primary schools, but she was always represented by a garnet in a volcano, or an artistic rendering of a campfire.
She's been a concept, not on the same level as the others.
I've gotten distracted from my mission of hunting down Cameron, but I keep searching the room, hoping to find something that will tell me anything about my Goddess.
When I kneel and sweep my hand under a pew, touching something rigid, I know I've found it.
The canvas is half the size of the others and wrapped in heavy black robes.
Someone didn't want this to be found.
My hands are shaking as I turn it over and look into sad, golden eyes. I've never seen this woman before, but I feel as if I have known her my whole life. It's a simple portrait, with none of the creative frills of the others, but it captures my attention all the same.
Ilota sits alone, no beasts around her, in the middle of a crudely drawn flame. Her hands are folded on her lap, and she's nude, with orange hair wild around her face.
Around her neck is an unrefined garnet wrapped in a silver chain.
It matches the one around my neck.
How is it that there is so little of Ilota known, and yet here, in this destroyed painting, there is a necklace just like mine?
I grip the stone so hard it digs into my hand.
"I recognized it the first time I saw you." The deep voice startles me to the point of terror, but my scream is muffled by a hand over my mouth. "Shh, lovely Zoe."
My heart is close to beating out of my chest, but I recognize the voice and the scent of the person holding me. Sweet sticky toffee. The man pressing me against his chest is my masked hookup from the blind faith party. Despite myself, I find my body relaxing into his arms.
Though he is a stranger to me, I feel safe in his arms. He holds me until my breathing levels out, and then, almost reluctantly, he lets me go and takes a few steps back.
I wanted that rendezvous in the woods to stay anonymous, but it seems Fate had other plans for me. The moment I turn to see the man behind the mask, my stomach falls out of my ass.
"In my defense, I tried to tell you," Cameron says, holding his hands up. "I wanted you to know it was me."
"But you— You should've…" I can't seem to form a sentence. "You knew it was me!"
He flops onto a pew, dust flying up around him. "I did. You looked so beautiful."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I tried. Several times. You wanted me to be a fantasy, so I was a fantasy." He pulls at the collar of his sweater, revealing a thick black band around his neck, the same one he was wearing in the woods that night.
"I didn't want you to be a fantasy! I wanted him to be one!"
He blinks, nose wrinkled in confusion. "I am him."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you hook up with me?"
Cameron holds a hand out for me, and, against my better judgment, I take it, allowing him to pull me onto the pew beside him. "I'll let you in on a little secret, Zoe." His eyes are shifty, as if he expects someone to pop out of a corner and listen to us. "You asked me to."
This is going nowhere.
"Where have you been?"
Again, the strange Alpha looks baffled at my question. "Where I always am."
I rub my temples, sending a prayer to Ilota for strength. "Why did you stop leaving me notes?"
"That wasn't me."
The silence of the chapel is oppressive as his words hang in the air between us.
If he wasn't my stalker, who was? Who was I putting dresses on for?
I was okay when I thought it was Cameron, but a complete unknown stalking me makes my head spin. Darkness starts to creep into my vision with how fast I'm breathing as I try to come to terms with the fact that my stalker is not the man I wanted him to be.
"I'm just joking. Of course it was me!" The words rip me out of my spiral, and I launch myself from the pew, mouth gaping as I stare at the Alpha. "I had you going, though, didn't I?"
"You fucking asshole!"
"Aw, you were disappointed, weren't you?
Understandable. I am an excellent stalker.
I doubt someone else would be as thorough.
Most of the others I've encountered are too eager, blowing their covers quickly and resorting to violence.
" He scoffs and runs his fingers through his curly hair. "Amateurs."
The shaking in my hands has lessened, my initial fury doused by the madness that he is spewing.
"Encounter a lot of stalkers, do you?"
"We meet every Sunday evening to share tips."
It takes me a minute to realize that he's joking, despite his deadpan delivery. "I don't understand what is going on."
He pats the pew beside him, and I lower myself beside him again. I came here to find him, and while he found me, the end result is the same. I want to know more about him, starting with how and why he's been stalking me.
"I know you have questions. I'll do my best to answer them."
Cameron doesn't rush me. He takes my hand in his and plays with my fingertips as I think.
"How?"
"Be more specific."
"How did you know everything that was going on?"
The light is near non-existent in this back room, but I don't miss the sadness that turns his eyes down. "It's easy to be invisible when no one wants to see you." A shuddering exhale shakes his slim figure. "I am here because they have no other place for me."
"Aren't you a student?"
"Depends on who you ask."
Will he ever give me a straight answer? He speaks in riddles and code, and it is exhausting.
"I'm asking you."
"I'm here because I am Hierophant Cameron Soter."