32. LINEAGE IS NOT LINEAR
LINEAGE IS NOT LINEAR
Olivia and Yvette drove down to El Paso to help Lucia move up to Santa Fe.
They made plans over the phone. Olivia and Lucia agreed to live together as Lucia was going through a rough breakup and Olivia felt trapped with Isela.
The move was drama-free minus Lucia’s ex, Ramona, showing up at Lucia’s apartment to beg for forgiveness.
Ramona insisted she never cheated, it was only an emotional connection with a woman in her book club.
Olivia felt it was her sisterly duty to stand up for Lucia, so she threatened Ramona with a curse.
If you ever come near my sister again, your hair will fall out until your scalp bleeds, the scabs on your head will turn to maggots, your teeth will fall out and your gums will rot, your blood will go sour and death will follow you, you will decay painfully and slow, and you will never find love again.
Don’t show up uninvited. You aren’t welcome here.
Ramona apologized and promised to steer clear.
Olivia smiled big and admitted she didn’t mean any of it, but it felt good to tell her off on behalf of her older sister.
Lucia and Yvette applauded her thespian performance and then three seconds later, Lucia cried her eyes out.
She cried because her heart was broken and she cried because she’d finally met her baby sister in person.
They spoke on the phone all the time, but Olivia took a few years to muster the courage to finally leave her mother behind.
Lucia grabbed Olivia and hugged her tight.
I love you so much. Olivia wept too and then Yvette continued the cycle.
Their faces shimmered with tears. They bawled until they realized they were all very hungry.
They ate flautas together and toasted each other with bottles of beer.
Olivia admitted that she felt like a fledgling.
Yvette assured her she was running past The Devil and The Tower toward The Sun.
Enjoy your beginning as a fool. Yvette held up a shot glass filled with tequila.
To becoming The Magician and then The Empress. Lucia held up her beer.
To a new beginning. Olivia kissed the tip of her beer bottle and they clinked their glasses to each other.
In Santa Fe, they lived in an adobe three-bedroom rental with Lucia’s black cat, Scully, and her little white fluffy dog, Gandalf.
Scully was Lucia’s familiar and Gandalf was deemed the crusty king of the house.
The sisters filled the house with framed art, scented candles, books, altars, and movie posters.
All of Olivia’s animal trinkets were scattered on bookshelves and windowsills.
It was a household meant to nurture creative hearts.
Olivia imagined bright golden light surrounding the house and guarding it like a glittering forcefield.
She spoke to the house spirits and the plant spirits and any animals that crossed her path around the house.
Lucia and Olivia hosted themed dance parties on Saturdays and went to flea markets on Sundays.
They called Isabel on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
For these sisterly phone calls, Olivia recorded what she called “character templates” on her digital camera.
She asked strangers if she could film them and then politely asked them to tell her a secret.
Some did, others sat in silence. Olivia concocted quirky and idyllic life stories for every person she interviewed and saved the most interesting ones for the conversations with Isabel.
Olivia and Lucia ate together every evening.
They took turns cooking meals for one another.
They took turns interrogating each other.
The who, why, where, what about their lives.
The living they did without each other. If Isela came up, usually on accident, the conversation turned quiet quick.
Olivia would say oh my god I am so sorry and Lucia assured her not to feel the need to apologize for someone she wasn’t responsible for.
Lucia looked like Isela the most of the three, but Olivia kept that thought to herself and never uttered a word about it.
She saw her sister’s face as a reflection, a resplendence, a glimmer.
In Lucia’s face, Olivia saw the potential for all of the light that Isela could have held.
Olivia moved out without telling Isela where she was going because they weren’t on speaking terms. Isela became more of a hermit and Olivia kept herself busy with multiple jobs.
It was as though Olivia never lived there anyway.
At that point, Isela and Alfonso had fallen out of love and were separated for a little over three years.
Isela resented him and said as much to anyone who would listen.
Olivia and Alfonso spoke over the phone every other day.
They became close. When he was in town, they went to the movies together.
It became a sort of tradition for them to get a giant bucket of popcorn and dump dozens of jalapenos over the top and then drizzle extra butter on top of that.
They loved horror and sci-fi movies. The weirder and cheesier, the better.
After their movie, they stopped by their favorite comic book shop (Milagros Comic Shop) and stacked piles of individual issues at the register to make sure they would both have enough in between Alfonso’s next visit.
Olivia was grateful for Alfonso, even with all of his flaws.
He was trying to bond with her. He was trying and that was tender enough for Olivia.
In Santa Fe, inspired by surrealist art, Olivia enrolled into a film program at a community college and worked at a local bookstore during the days she wasn’t in class.
She joined a coven and practiced witchcraft with them during the new moons.
Her nightmares stopped. She dyed her hair different shades, depending on her mood.
Cherry red or blue or purple and one time half white and half burnt orange.
She wore vintage clothes and colorful clothes.
She transformed into someone her mother could never get to know.
Most importantly to Olivia, she learned what it meant to be loved in earnest by her sisters, her dad, her tías, and her ancestors.
When she looked in the mirror, it wasn’t a stranger anymore.
She was learning to love herself. She was learning to accept herself as the wonderful weirdo that she was.
She was breaking away from the whispers of cruelty and disdain that her mother tried to drill into her.
Olivia was learning to love herself more and more each day and this meant more than anything her mother could ever say.