Chapter 24
Non
It was dark outside when Jazz burst into my room and pulled the covers off. I started firing off a long string of profanity at them, but when I saw the seriousness of their expression, I thought better of it.
When I first woke the day following the party, it was gone noon.
After peeling off my dress, which was sticky with blackberry gin, I had just about managed to drag myself to the shower before bringing the contents of my stomach up.
As I made my way back to my bed, I tripped over my dagger.
Dylan, I assumed, had kindly returned it to the floor.
Not ready to relive the reality of the night before, I had climbed back into bed and covered myself with the duvet in hopes I could just block it all out.
It turned out my grandmother was true to her word and hadn't forgotten about my punishment for attacking Seren, so she had sent Jazz to walk me to my first night watch.
Although we'd been walking the corridors side by side for the last twenty or so minutes, they hadn't so much as looked my way the whole time.
There were myriad reasons for Jazz to be annoyed at me, but my gut told me this cold shoulder had something to do with my power protecting them against Brychan. The arsehole had it coming for putting his hands on my friend. I wasn't about to apologise for that.
“What was Brychan's issue last night?” I eventually asked.
Jazz didn't respond for a few beats, but I could see their jaw working out of the corner of my eye. The click of their heeled boots echoed throughout the empty hallway, the only noise in the silence.
Eventually, Jazz cleared their throat. “I assume Bron has told you how you came to possess your power?”
“It's passed down through bloodlines, right? I guess you could say inherited?”
“Exactly, but remember I told you my Sitti came here from Jordan when she was a college student?”
I nodded.
Jazz pulled me to a stop just before we stepped through a set of doors at the end of the hallway.
“Not long after she decided to make Wales her permanent home, she was given her power, I guess you could say.
Mum inherited the gift from her, and I got my power from my mum, but Sitti was the first in our family to be able to wield.
She isn't the only one to have received the power of D?n either.
About a dozen other families that we know of were chosen too. Alaw's great-grandfather was another.”
“Okay, but what does that have to do with Brychan?”
Jazz laughed, but there was no mirth in it. “There's a few bigots like Brychan that have an issue with families who were chosen to wield instead of coming from thousands of years of Wielders.”
My eyes rounded. “You're kidding?”
“I wish I was, but the last three decades have been difficult, to say the least. Unfortunately, there are those like Brychan who see the imbalance of power and gods choosing fewer vassals as punishment for whatever they think we stole from them.”
For the first time in our brief friendship, a long stretch of uncomfortable silence passed between Jazz and me. I chewed on my lip as I contemplated what exactly I could say. 'Sorry' didn't seem like enough to make up for the bigoted views of others.
We both opened our mouths to speak at the same time, but Jazz nodded for me to continue.
“Look, I shouldn't have stepped in last night; I'm sure you could handle Brychan. But my power is...” I looked away as I sank my teeth into my lip even harder.
“My power has a mind of its own. And last night, it decided to surface when I saw him putting his hands on you.
I can't control it when it gets like that.”
When I looked back at Jazz, their expression seemed wary. “Your power is pretty terrifying. I've never seen anything like it.”
I didn't know what else to say. They were right, of course. Not only were there the swirling black holes that led who knew where the stuff of nightmares, but I had no way to rein it in when it decided to overtake me. What was stopping me from swallowing the whole fucking castle into one of them?
From Jazz's lack of response, I assumed this conversation was over, so I turned and started to make my way towards the doors. Not prepared in the slightest for what this night watch would consist of.
“Wait!” Jazz hissed as they grabbed my arm. They placed their hands on my hips; a shudder wracked my body as I felt their breath against my ear.
“Have you ever considered the fact that your power might not come from D?n?”
I mean, had I? To be honest, that I even had any power after all these years had blindsided me.
“Bron would probably have my head for even suggesting it, but after seeing what you did last night, I think it's a possibility.
Your grandfather, Great Uncle Caerwyn, Uncle Emrys, and Fa—I mean Gwaun— were all Witches of Llyr.
You have both D?n and Llyr's powers in your bloodline, but there's no hard and fast rules when it comes to which one is more dominant.
There's a high possibility you've followed in their footsteps.”
“And did that happen to them? My grandfather and uncle, I mean. Did they become possessed by their power?”
Jazz shook their head. “Not that I'm aware of. I've never heard of any Witches or Wielders being controlled by their own power like that.”
“What does that mean for me? What changes if my power does come from Llyr?”
“It's not something Bron is likely to accept; she'll probably just keep pushing for you to train like you wield D?n's power. And to be honest, I probably wouldn't have stuck my foot in it had you not been nominated for the Anoethau last night.”
I groaned, resting my forehead against Jazz's shoulder. “Don't remind me.”
“Look, Bron's not stupid. She knows the chances of you having Llyr's power are high.
But the optics of that are terrible. Imagine her only grandchild and daughter of Gwaun the Orddu has dark power just like her father?
I think she intended to try and bury that fact, like she was trying to bury who your father is.
She probably planned for you to just serve the Northern Coven in any way you can, even if it meant not using your power.
But it's clear you can't even wield a toothpick.
If you go into the Anoethau still pretending you're a Wielder of D?n, you're as good as dead, in my opinion.”
I cringed at the audible gulp I made as I swallowed down the rising fear that crept up my throat. Jazz was right; maybe I had been going about using my power the wrong way. But there was no way my grandmother was going to let me train with the Witches of Llyr.
“You seem to know a lot about Llyr's power.”
Something akin to grief passed over Jazz's expression. “Believe it or not, my aunt actually had Llyr's power.”
“Your mother's sister?” I remember Jazz mentioning Emna had a sister.
Jazz nodded.
A flicker of hope sparked in my chest. “Do you think she'd be able to help me control—”
“She passed away a few years ago; she and her wife were both killed. It's hard for me to talk about them even now, but that's how I know more than most, I guess.”
I reached out and took Jazz's hand in my own.
“I'm sorry,” I whispered. It was all I could think to say.
Jazz gathered themselves and nodded towards the doors, putting space between us as they dropped my hand. “You're going to be late if you don't get a move on.”
Standing at the other side of the door waiting for me was Ail Llew. Jazz only acknowledged him with a brief nod before turning and disappearing down the hallway.
“Good evening, Non. I hope you are well-rested in preparation for tonight.”
When I didn't respond, Ail Llew just scowled before making his way through the large archway that led us outside into the gardens of Llwyn Onn.