Chapter 10
Zara
The daughters stared at the heap of broken eagles and riders before slowly turning as one toward me.
Instead of the horror and condemnation I expected to see, they looked at me with awe and more than a little hope.
But when I reached for Shazeera, as reflexively as examining my own thoughts, there was nothing.
The moment I’d called the wind, I felt a pressure on the thread connecting our hearts.
The cyclone had erupted from the sky, swallowing the eagles and their riders, and the thread between us felt like it had been plucked.
I clutched my chest. The vibrations still hummed in my chest, and cold sweat broke across my skin at the thought that the thread might unravel.
In my mind, where there should have been Shazeera’s comforting voice, there was only silence. She was there beneath me—I could still feel the warmth of her body, and the comforting sounds of her breaths, but it was as if she were a normal horse. A horse who could not communicate in words.
Soft hoofbeats made me look up to find General Isa moving closer to me.
She glanced at the fallen Eagle Riders, and I could see her throat work as she swallowed hard.
“First Daughter,” she said, and her tone was like nothing I’d ever heard from her.
She was always as unflappable and calm as still water. “That cyclone…Did you do this?”
I could only manage a mute nod, but my acknowledgment was enough to release something held in check by the others.
“I’ve never seen power like that before,” Naomi said, riding toward us.
“This could change everything!” another said.
From beside the fallen guard and horse, a daughter gazed from the carnage and back to me. “Why didn’t you use such a power earlier?” she asked quietly.
A lump rose in my throat. “You don’t understand,” I said. “There’s a cost…” But it was hard to explain myself in the face of death, even as a bone-deep weariness settled over me, making it difficult to even hold my head up.
I couldn’t bring myself to look at Mariyah. I couldn’t bear it if she judged me for withholding my ability until it was too late for the many that had been killed—eleven horses and riders. I kept my gaze on Shazeera’s mane, but that only reminded me that I couldn’t hear her.
It was like the time when I was a child and had climbed as high as I could go in a tree.
I wanted to see a bird’s nest at the very top, but I put my weight on a branch that wasn’t strong enough, and I came crashing down to the ground.
The breath was knocked from my lungs, and I couldn’t even scream.
Worse, I hit my head, and the terrible ringing in my ears drowned out everyone else.
I couldn’t hear Shazeera or Ama. I couldn’t hear anything.
It was the same now. In my mind, there was silence but for my own voice.
My own stupid thoughts. Panic raked claws over my flesh, and my breaths came faster.
The amount of power I had called upon this time was so much more than the first. What if I’d severed the bond this time?
What if I could never communicate with her again?
I panted, lungs burning, like I was drowning on dry land.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t draw a full breath.
Sweat poured down my back, and I shook. Shazeera nuzzled me—she could sense my distress even if she couldn’t hear me speak in her mind—but her touch only shattered what little control I had left.
A broken sound escaped me, ragged and raw.
“Zara,” a voice said, and a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I looked up to find Mariyah right beside me on her mare. “Breathe.”
I took a shuddering breath, keeping my eyes on her familiar face. She stayed like that while I took several deep breaths, reminding my lungs that they still functioned.
“Better?” Mariyah asked after a moment. When I nodded, she gave me a gentle hug. “This war has taken many lives, but we’re all so thankful you saved ours.” She turned to the others. “We owe First Daughter our undying gratitude.”
“Mariyah is right,” General Isa said, bowing her head in a gesture of respect.
“We are grateful for your intervention, First Daughter.” She waited until the four guards bowed their heads and murmured their thanks before refocusing on the necessary tasks at hand.
The fallen and their horses would need to be brought home to rest. Another guard would need to seek out the five riders who had split off from our original team.
The others would accompany us back to Queen Jazela’s camp.
As we prepared to leave, I turned to Mariyah and Citrine. “Is Citrine okay? I saw the eagle’s talons—” I swallowed hard.
“The scratches are deep, but it’s nothing a healer can’t fix. She said they don’t hurt so badly she can’t walk.”
“That’s a relief,” I said, even as shame clung to me like a second skin over my selfish hesitation. What if I had blasted the Eagle Riders from the sky the moment they arrived? Then there would have been zero injuries…and fatalities.
“You did everything you could,” Mariyah said, because she could always read my moods as easily as a seer. “This loss is because of the Zephyrians—not you.”
I shook my head. “I could have called that power sooner. I could have saved us all.”
I could feel her eyes on me. “Why didn’t you tell me you could do that?”
“I didn’t know until recently,” I said, keeping my voice low from prying ears. “And I didn’t think I’d ever use it again.”
“You’ve been so afraid you wouldn’t have an ability to help us in this war, but look how powerful this is,” she said with a gesture toward the fallen eagles and riders. “When did you first discover you could do this?”
I took a steadying breath, not used to talking about things I’d kept hidden for so long.
“I’ve always felt drawn to the wind—ever since I was little.
I could almost sense a presence, like Ama has always described about things of the earth.
But I’ve never been able to call upon that power.
Not until the day that Eagle Rider showed up. ”
Her eyes widened. “The one who attacked you and General Isa before you came to my camp? But that doesn’t make sense. Isa acted completely stunned today.”
“There was another Eagle Rider. It attacked Shazeera and me when we tried to escape—we were alone.”
Mariyah grabbed my arm, mouth open in shock. “Zara, no! How horrible. You must have been terrified.”
The fear of the moment when that eagle and its rider swooped down on us came back to me, choking me with its intensity. “I thought I would be captured or worse. I thought Shazeera would die. But then I heard the voice of the wind. It begged me to call upon it, to unleash its power.”
“Was it like today? With that cyclone?”
“Yes, it just—it blasted them from the sky.”
“This magic is incredible,” she said in an excited whisper. “This could make all the difference—”
“It comes with a terrible price,” I said, cutting her off.
“It hurts my bond with Shazeera. I lose the ability to communicate with her, and—” I paused to rub my chest, where I could still feel the weakened threads that tied us together.
“I’m afraid one day, I’ll use that power, and it’ll sever the bond between us entirely. It might already have.”
Mariyah stilled, mouth open. “Oh, Zara,” she said finally. “That’s why you were so upset.”
“Last time, we were able to talk again after a day, but that was with only one Eagle Rider. I don’t know how long it’ll take to recover this time.”
“That’s so scary. What does Shazeera think? I mean, obviously not right now, since you can’t…Did she say anything before?”
I glanced at her, knowing she was listening.
“She wanted me to unleash it and save us—even if it hurt the bond.” I could feel myself tearing up again.
“She’s more selfless than I am. Mariyah,” I said, lowering my voice, “what if this isn’t a gift from the Earth Mother? Why would it hurt my bond if it was?”
Mariyah put her arm around me. “When my magic first manifested, it drained me to the point that I couldn’t even lift my head afterward.
But now, I can use it without getting immediately exhausted.
What you did—calling the wind to knock eagles out of the sky—that kind of strength is bound to take a toll.
The Earth Mother is kind. I’m sure once you get used to the ability, you’ll be able to use it without the terrible consequences. ”
Hope bloomed inside me, but it was dampened when I thought of all the years I had never heard the Earth Mother’s voice. “I’m just so scared to risk it, you know?”
Mariyah watched us, her brows drawn in sympathy. “I can’t imagine, and you know I’ll support you in whatever you choose to do, but I don’t think the general will let this go easily.” She glanced back at where General Isa was taking stock of injuries and overseeing the transport of the fallen.
I bit the inside of my lip as emotions swelled within me.
We were losing this war. Every day there were more casualties, and very soon, our entire people would likely be overcome by the Zephyrians.
Every peace treaty we had tried so far had failed.
The problem was, we had no leverage. Why should they make a treaty with us when they could just crush us in war?
Mariyah was right. This power could make a difference—could make all the difference in this war—but how could I sacrifice my bond with Shazeera?
I thought of Cassia, the girl who had suffered so terribly after the loss of her mare.
I thought of how tortured she was—how every day she relived those moments when her mare was preyed upon by an eagle, and now she would never see or speak to her horse again.
That could be me. How would I endure it?
But how could I endure doing nothing when I had the power to help?