Chapter 12 #2
Ama stood and walked over to Shazeera. I held my breath when she rested her forehead against Shazeera’s.
They both closed their eyes. After a few painful moments where the silence seemed interminable, she finally said, “The link between you is still there—I feel it. It’s only been suppressed, not broken, so I’m confident it will be restored once again.
” But before I could smile with relief, Ama met my gaze.
“But it’s weaker than it was, like a fraying rope.
Each time you use this new power, you risk breaking your link permanently. ”
Shazeera’s head and tail dropped, and my shoulders slumped. Mariyah scooted closer and linked her arm with mine. It hurt to hear what I had suspected to be true from the moment I first used the power.
Ama turned to General Isa. “And you would ask her to risk her bond with Shazeera?”
To her credit, the general didn’t even flinch.
“We have all made sacrifices in this war, Majesty. Shielding us with your wards is draining your very life. Soon, your body will give out, and you will die. There have been many of us who have already given up our lives—or the lives of our horses—for the good of our people. I think First Daughter Zara understands what a ruler must do for her people.”
“Do not put words in her mouth, General,” Ama admonished.
“Do you understand that using this power again can destroy your bond with Shazeera permanently? And I cannot predict when that will happen. It could be the next time, or the time after…but based on the way the thread between you has already deteriorated, it won’t survive many more times. ”
I could feel the color drain from my face at her words. When my eyes sought out Shazeera, she gave a little bob of her head.
But before I could respond, General Isa interrupted.
“As terrible as that would be, comparing the loss of a bond to the annihilation of our people is no contest. Look back at history!” she said, her eyes flashing.
“Half of our tribal nations fell to the Zephyrians. There are only three of us left, and we are hanging on by a thread. We will not last a month. The Zephyrians will conquer us, kill those who stood against them, and crush the rest. So forgive me if I don’t hesitate to recommend that First Daughter uses this wind magic no matter the price. ”
The tension in the room was so heavy it felt like a storm had descended upon us. Ama and Queen Jazela had matching murderous looks on their faces.
“Tread carefully, General,” Ama warned.
“I’m only asking that you give your daughter the chance to make up her own mind for the good of her people, just as my daughter willingly gave up her life in this war.”
“Your daughter was a hero,” Ama said, her expression somber, “and we will never forget her sacrifice. However, she wasn’t First Daughter with the responsibility of carrying on the Sorayan line.”
“You’re not listening to me, my queen! Soon, there won’t be a line to continue. We will all be dead or enslaved.”
Ama’s eyes flashed. “You overstep, General. How dare you talk down to me.”
General Isa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Forgive me, it certainly isn’t my intention to talk down to you, my queen. I just want First Daughter to be given the chance to choose for herself.”
“I will do anything to save our people,” I interrupted, forcing my voice to sound strong despite the fact that my hands were shaking, “even risk my bond with Shazeera.”
“Surely the Earth Mother wouldn’t be that cruel,” Mariyah said, her own eyes shining with tears at my distress. “Why would earth magic hurt a bond between a daughter and her horse?”
Ama and Queen Jazela had only to look at each other for me to know the answer, but it still made my chest constrict painfully.
“Because this isn’t earth magic,” Ama said.
Mariyah’s mouth dropped open, and even General Isa recoiled slightly.
“Summoning the strength of the wind has nothing to do with the earth,” Ama said. “It is magic of the sky.”
Queen Jazela nodded slowly when Mariyah glanced at her for confirmation.
“Where did it come from?” I asked, heartbeat loud in my ears.
“Not from the Earth Mother,” Queen Jazela said.
“Earth magic can only be passed from mother to daughter,” Ama said with an admonishing glance at her sister. “All the First Daughters have abilities that can be traced back to the Earth Mother. It’s part of their royal inheritance.”
“I know all that,” I said with more than a little frustration leaking into my tone. “What are you trying to say? I’m not really a First Daughter?”
“You are, but using this power jeopardizes your position as future queen,” Ama said.
I went still with shock. “Why have you never told me this?”
“In all our recent generations,” Ama said, “it has never been a problem. All power and abilities travel along the maternal bloodline, no matter who sired you.” She suddenly looked tired.
“You may even have weaker abilities you can tap into from your father’s side, but they would never be more powerful than the earth magic inherited through our Sorayan line. I never thought it would be an issue.”
I leaned toward her. “Then who sired me? Is that where this power comes from?”
“I had many suitors at the time.”
It was her standard answer—a step above simply saying, I don’t know.
Not knowing for sure was common, as many daughters, including queens, took many suitors when they were ready to have a baby.
Growing up, surrounded by so many loving people and horses, I had never given much thought to who my sire might be.
Daughters and sons fell in and out of love all the time without deciding to join themselves together in a life partnership.
Queens, especially, typically took countless royal consorts.
Queen Jazela was unusual in that she had been with Prince Malik for decades.
Ama, with her numerous suitors before I was born, was far more in line with tradition.
But I still had this terrible suspicion she wasn’t telling me everything.
I couldn’t help but compare myself to Mariyah again, who had been sired by Prince Malik.
There was no mystery surrounding her parentage.
The magic may only flow through the maternal line, but obviously in my case, something else was going on.
“Who your sire is doesn’t matter,” Aunt Jazela said, jumping in.
“What’s important here is that the Earth Mother won’t give you her blessing if you continue to use a power that isn’t earth magic.
And without her blessing, you won’t be able to lead our people.
” It felt like a knife twisted in my chest. So this is what Ama had meant before by the wind magic being dangerous.
Using it could potentially prevent me from ever taking my rightful place as Queen of All Queens.
General Isa’s expression mirrored my own stunned disbelief. This hadn’t been how she’d expected this conversation to go. She had no doubt thought that they would both jump at the chance to finally gain the upper hand on our enemy.
“So, if Zara uses this power again, she’ll have to give up the throne?” Mariyah asked incredulously. “How has this never been a problem before?”
“Our bloodline has always been strong enough to overcome any weaker abilities being passed on.”
Sons often had weaker manifestations of earth magic than daughters.
The royal lines were the strongest, and any sons born to queens usually had some form of earth magic.
Kai, a distant cousin of Queen Jazela’s royal line, was extraordinarily strong, beyond the normal limits of humanity.
But none of this explained my ability to call on the wind.
“There’s a chance if you stop using this ability, then your earth magic will awaken,” Ama said. “We need to discuss it with Samira.”
Aunt Jazela nodded emphatically. “Yes, Samira has always been the genealogist of the family.”
Ama stopped her pacing. “I’ll send word to her immediately.”
She strode out of the room without another word to us, presumably to write a letter to Queen Samira.
Mariyah just pulled me in for a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Zara. I had no idea about any of that—I didn’t even know that power wasn’t earth magic. But maybe this is good, in a way. Now you won’t feel pressured to risk your bond with Shazeera.”
As I leaned into my cousin’s embrace, I glanced at Shazeera, and I knew—even without hearing her thoughts—that we were experiencing the same tumultuous feelings.
My whole body felt heavy, and my shoulders drooped with it like a wilted flower. Ama’s and Aunt Jazela’s reactions were devastating, but not because my ascension to the throne was in jeopardy.
I had never felt worthy of being First Daughter. I had spent my life dreaming of having healing abilities like Ama. When years went by and I still didn’t have any signs of earth magic, I begged the Earth Mother to bless me with the power to save my people. To be useful for once.
For the briefest moment, I thought she had.
Now, emotions crashed over me like relentless waves—relief that I wouldn’t have to put my bond with Shazeera at risk, guilt that I felt such relief, and crushing disappointment that I wouldn’t be able to save my people from almost certain destruction.
But most of all, the plummeting feeling that I would never be a worthy First Daughter.