18 #3
He is on the other side of the room, gesturing for us to come over.
I smile instinctively, but it falters slightly at the sight of my best friend.
She sees Arden first, no surprise because everyone usually does.
He has that sort of presence, heavy and magnetic, the kind that draws eyes whether you want it to or not.
A gentle smile curving her lips. Why wouldn’t it? He is her boyfriend.
The reminder makes me step away almost immediately.
He’d been standing so close only moments ago that I can still feel my pulse hammering at my throat.
Now, he walks off without a word, the very picture of calm indifference—as though nothing had happened between us at all.
It is disturbingly easy for him, the lying, the pretending, the cheating, provided he gets what he wants in the end.
Then her eyes meet mine, and her face lights up the moment she sees me, her smile brightens in ways that can put the stars to shame.
The sight makes my stomach twist with guilt even more.
How can someone so easily stressed out willingly place herself in situations that only make her feel worse?
Sometimes I wonder if I do it on purpose, a form of emotional self harm.
Punishing myself because I believe I deserve it.
Perhaps I still do. I do. I do. I do. I-
“Are you alright?” Harley’s voice cut through my thoughts. Her usual frown is still there, but for once it is tempered with concern.
I follow her gaze down to my wrist. A thin line of blood had appeared where I’d been scratching at my skin without even realising. It isn’t deep, but the sight of it unsettles me more than I care to admit.
I force a shaky laugh. “God, I must’ve dug my nails in again. I forget how sharp they get.”
Making fake claws with my hands, I let out a low growl in an attempt to lighten the mood. Harley isn’t convinced; she gives me a flat look that says as much.
“I’m fine, honestly,” I add quickly. “Come on, let’s eat.”
She rolls her eyes but doesn’t argue. We reach our usual table and I claim my usual seat beside MJ, while Arden sits next to her on her right.
I can’t help but watch as she kisses him, the same lips that had been on mine mere minutes ago, in the familiar way she always does whenever they are together.
He wraps his arms around her, cradling her against his side.
The guilt I carried earlier starts to dissipate only to be replaced by a green, simmering envy.
I want to peel her hands away, to keep her from touching what is mine.
The thought sends a shock through me. When did he become “mine” again? He hasn’t been, not for a long time. I will do well to remember that before I ruin one of the best things in my life. The past few hours have left me dizzy with emotional whiplash, and I can feel a headache coming on.
“Oh great, you brought your stray,” Devon sneers as we arrive, gesturing toward Harley.
Before I utter any form of rebuttal, Harley cut in, sharp as ever. “Piss off, if you’ve got something to say about me, be direct and don’t cut corners like a snake.”
Devon takes a bite of her salmon without lifting her gaze, she tuts , “If I’m not mistaken it’s not my family with a snake on its crest. That’d be yours. Allegedly.”
She is quietly bringing up the affair in a room so loud anyone can be listening in on our conversation as they so often do.
I grit out, “Can you keep your voice down?”
Devon simply laughs in return, and I rest my hand over Harley’s, restraining her before she can launch herself at Devon. “Ignore her, she’s just feeling especially aggro today. Sit next to me.”
Part of me wants my sister close by, but another part simply wants to put as much distance as possible between myself and the two disgusting lovebirds. Arden and MJ, who are speaking in hushed whispers not paying a lick of attention to the rest of us. A common occurrence, unfortunately.
Arden’s gaze flicks to me briefly, as if he can see exactly what I am feeling. I raise a silent eyebrow; he tries, unsuccessfully, to fight back a smile. I am certain he can smell the jealousy wafting off me or if not that, the subtle tick of my jaw gives me away.
“Can we not fight? I was hoping to actually finish my food for once,” Daniel groans from across the table. Devon rolls her eyes and returns to her salmon.
I shift the conversation, desperate for distraction. “What time are we going to Parliament Hill tonight?”
There is a comet sighting, a non periodic one, and tonight should be prime viewing.
It is meant to be visible even without a telescope but there are going to be some anyway.
As it is technically a school affair, they will be providing it.
Initially the location was set at Hyde Park but too cloudy, Parliament Hill is our best bet.
Really, it is just an excuse to have a bit of a bev together.
I am probably the only person actually excited for it.
“About an hour or less after sunset was the time I gave. Since, too many of you had the incessant habit of never being on time, this gives some leeway, ” Arden answers, finally tearing his attention from MJ. He is the one in charge, as it is being hosted by the Student Union.
“I’ll be there at seven-ish,” I say.
“That’s not an hour after sunset,” Arden replies.
I wave him off without even looking his way, “Take it or leave it,” I reply, my brows pinching together as I drift into thought about what I’d wear.
When I look up, Arden is shaking his head in amusement, and it strikes me it is the first proper conversation we have ever managed to have in public without a fight.
I’m not the only one who notices it either; MJ did too. Her gaze flickers between us, as though she can read our minds.
“Oh my god, yes—you taught your class today!” MJ gasps suddenly, clapping her hands together in recollection. “How did that go? I could think of nothing worse than lecturing first-years.”
“I’m sure they’d agree,” Devon mutters under her breath. I shoot her a warning glare.
“I’m a first year ,” Harley says flatly.
“I really don’t care,” Devon replies dismissively, “Why do you keep talking to me?”
MJ immediately snaps, “Arrête d'être aussi méchante.” Stop being so fucking rude.
Devon's eyes start to twinkle for the first time since they sat down, she smirks. “I didn’t realise orphan Annie had so many people to defend her.” She is egging MJ on to lose her temper, which rarely happens.
“Don’t call me orphan Annie,” Harley spits.
This is never going to end, so I quickly pivoted elsewhere. “Halloween party next Friday, does everyone actually have their costumes sorted, or am I going to have to make my yearly list again?”
“To no one’s surprise, I have my shit ready to go,” Daniel grins, predictably.
“A surprise, of course.” He always goes all out for Halloween.
It is his favourite holiday partly because it coincided with his birthday, but mostly because it gives him an excuse to outdo everyone creatively.
He designs and makes most of his own costumes.
A lot of which I’m sure he learned from his mother who ran one of the biggest new age fashion houses.
It is also part of the reason we take turns in hosting his birthday, it is my turn this year.
“What about everyone else?” I ask, glancing around the table.
“We’re going as Batman and Catwoman,” MJ says brightly, all excited, hands gesticulating as she explains every detail. A couples costume. Of course. My smile feels like it might split at the seams, so I turn to Harley.
“Do you have something to wear?” I ask.
“I didn’t even know this was happening or that I was invited,” she says slowly, looking around the table.
“Considering the party’s being held at our house, I’d think so,” I say automatically, before freezing at my own words.
Our house.
But I won’t take it back. Her eyebrows lift ever so slightly, but she doesn’t press it.
“I’m sure I can figure something out,” she says finally, turning her attention back to her food.
Soon after, everyone settles into their little corners of chatter.
I stay quiet, though my thoughts elsewhere, wondering how I am going to stop the feeling in my chest every time I see MJ and Arden in embrace.