26 #2
Once within distance she grabbed her arm and breathed out her name, “Scar.”
Scarlett finally turned around, she was paler than usual which was understandable considering the weather had dropped significantly in the last week and her barely there tan was dying.
Her hair was darker but the red still made its appearance known.
Harley couldn't help but take her in, only a few weeks apart and she was acting like an addict without their fix, savouring her like she might never see her again.
“Hi.” Was what Harley settled on.
Scarlett regarded her with almost no emotion, in the same way she did before they became friends, Harley didn't like it. She tried not to fidget under Scarlett’s heavy gaze but she couldn't help it. She thought she had stopped the habit of becoming a bumbling fool when it came to her.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” Harley asked firmly, in a tone that suggested it was not a request but simply a heads up.
“Sure.”
They were still holding hands, this thrilled Harley, so she used the opportunity to drag her to somewhere quieter.
They entered an unused room, no longer holding hands Scarlett decided to widen their distance. Harley spoke first, “I’m sorry.”
“About what exactly?”
“About Halloween. About me.”
“Harley–” Scarlett began.
“Please, let me get this out and then you can decide whether or not you want to be in my life or not. I at least deserve that.” Scarlett gave her the go ahead nod.
“I’ve always struggled with letting people in. My entire life I was dependent on myself, it had always been just me. I’m not what you'd call friendly nor was I approachable but it didn't matter because I had other things to worry about.”
Harley fidgeted with her hands but she didn't look away from Scarlett, it was the first time she would ever get her story out to someone other than Annabel and it meant something to her.
“You see, my mum is an addict and a lot of that means she spent most of my life in a haze rather than taking care of me.”
“She tried. I understand that she did, but whatever sadness and despair that was eating away at her was stronger than her will to get better. To take care of me or herself, so I had to be the one to do it.” Even now she couldn't help but make excuses for, she was her mother after all and one parent was better than none.
“She was too flaky at her jobs, could never really hold one down. So when I was thirteen, I got a job at this small shop by our house. The pay wasn't great but it was good enough.”
There was some noise behind the door that had her looking back for a moment, likely students walking by.
“You're probably wondering how and why anyone would hire me but our situation wasn't much of a secret where we lived.
They probably figured this was the best way to help without getting social services involved.
Our area was filled with people in varying situations similar to ours and weren't so quick to throw one of their own to the wolves.” Harley scoffed out a pitiful laugh, she paused for a moment and took a deep breath before continuing.
“I chose not to go to university because I knew if I took that step, I would never go back. And I loved my mum in spite of it all. So, for the last two years I worked full time as I continued to become this shell of a person who moved through each day like a machine. I’d given up.”
She pulled out the infamous letter from her bag, something she carried with her everywhere.
She wasn't sure why, perhaps it was her craving affection that she had barely received and this was a token of it. “Until I got this,” Harley held up the letter to give to Scarlett, who hesitated for a second before breaking the distance to collect it. “It’s okay, you can read it.”
As she did, Harley carried on talking, “I almost didn’t make it out the door.
I kept wondering if it was okay for me to be selfish, to want something for myself.
The day I read the letter, Posy made me realise that my life was at a standstill and if I didn’t do something about it, I was never going to escape it.
I didn’t know who I was, or if I’d ever been anything more than what she needed.
I’d been living for her and only her. So, I cried for longer than I ever had in years.
For myself, for her and for the life I never got the chance to have.
I let the thought of ‘what if’ sneak through my brain.
That maybe just this once, I get to live for myself.
In that fleeting lapse of selfishness, I walked out the door and didn’t look back.
And here I am. ” Harley had read the letter over and over again, she could recite its content without blinking.
“Leaving her in that house, alone, when she's never had to look after herself without me…the guilt eats at me everyday.”
Nimble arms wrapped around her, the familiar warmth of her friend enveloped her and she never wanted to let go.
Her face was stained with tears she hadn't even realised had fallen.
As she rested her head on her shoulders, Scarlett mumbled out, “I hate her.” A choked laugh escaped Harley, not surprised that this was the comment her friend had in response to her sordid life. “And him.”
Scarlett pulled back, her face pained yet determined.
“I’m serious. You were a child who should've never had to live that way. Every adult in your life failed you and you were dealt the worst cards,” then she used her thumbs to gently wipe the tears from Harley’s face.
Her soft hands glided across and rested on her cheeks.
“I’m happy you left. For you. But also because it means I got you in my life as a result and I’m pretty sure I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.”
“Pretty sure?”
“Maybe for an ice cream cake.” They coughed out watery giggles, knowing it wasn't entirely far-fetched.
Harley looked down at their linked hands, smiling.
“Does that mean you don't hate me?” She asked head on, wanting to clear up any doubts that could fester.
Scarlett shakes her head. “Never in a million lifetimes.”