Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
F or the first time in as long as he could remember, Leofric woke well after the sun had risen. On his side, he propped himself up onto one elbow, drowsily returning to awareness, sluggish and content. Such luxury Leofric had never expected to know. He’d shared his bedroll with Cosmo on the road, but nothing like this. He’d never fallen asleep in the arms of a lover, after they’d spent the night devouring one another.
And not just any lover.
He had fucked a god, and lived to tell it. The fact alone was staggering, and the truth of the man beside him even more so. Cosmo lay on his stomach, dead to the world, freckled back rising and falling with every sleepy breath. Leofric allowed himself a small smile.
Looking at Cosmo beside him now, Leofric felt his body stir, arousal building slow and lazy in his gut. Cosmo’s lithe, freckled body was beautiful in the morning sunlight. He trailed the knuckle of his thumb up and down Cosmo’s spine, feeling every dip and curve.
As he touched and explored, Leofric took stock of everything that had occurred the previous day. Cosmo had prevailed, and located his brother’s grace. The frosty vial was tucked snug in Leofric’s pack even as he lay here. With their mission a success, they could leave the mountain and at last return to Papia, return to real life. Leofric found the idea did not fill him with relief.
He’d dreaded this journey, dreaded spending so much time with this companion. Now he dreaded their inevitable parting. What would happen when they returned to Papia? He could hardly keep a concubine in the guard barracks of the royal villa. Perhaps Cosmo would wish to return to his rooms at Lapis, and the life he’d had before. Leofric frowned, a hollow pit growing in his stomach, threatening to eclipse the sated happy feeling he’d only just begun to savor. The pit left plenty of room for his guilt to burrow deep inside him, cold and slimy. These weren’t things he wished to dwell upon, so instead, Leofric focused on tracing the constellations of freckles on Cosmo’s back, letting his fingers dip lower and lower.
Cosmo stirred, rolling his head to the side. He hovered somewhere between sleeping and waking, and Leofric watched the deep ruddy fringe of his lashes fluttering. Leofric settled down lower into the furs, so he could kiss Cosmo’s sleep-slack mouth. “ Mmm, ” said Cosmo. He opened one eye to peer at Leofric. “I had a terrible dream.”
“Oh?” said Leofric, teasing his fingers down into the cleft of Cosmo’s ass. “What about?”
“That you teased me and teased me for hours,” said Cosmo. He arched his back, pushing up into Leofric’s touch.
“That sounds like an excellent dream,” said Leofric, kissing the freckly shoulder closest to him.
“Yes, but at the end, you peeled off all my skin and ate it.”
Leofric wrinkled his nose, disgusted. “What on earth is wrong with you?”
“Nothing!” said Cosmo, unable to keep the grin from spreading across his face. “Besides, everyone knows dreams are prophecy.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes,” said Cosmo. He pushed Leofric onto his back and straddled his hips. “So, you’d best not tease me, otherwise it will come true.”
In answer, Leofric rolled his hips and slid his hands up into Cosmo’s tousled hair, tugging on the strands. He yanked him down for a possessive, hungry kiss, and soon they fumbled together in the blankets, teeth and lips and questing hands, and neither one had the patience for teasing.
After, with Cosmo draped across his chest, sticky and sated once again, Leofric spoke up. “Once we’ve had a chance to clean up, we could be on the road by midday, heading back to Papia.”
Cosmo went rigid in his arms at once, where before he’d been poured across Leofric in the bed, languid as a spoiled cat.
“What?”
“Nothing,” said Cosmo, too quickly.
Leofric cupped his cheek and tipped his face up so they looked into each other’s eyes. “Tell me.”
Something about Cosmo’s expression was haunted, shifty. He chewed his lip before responding, and it was like Leofric could watch him weighing every word before he spoke. “I was hoping we could linger,” said Cosmo.
Leofric opened his mouth to argue, but Cosmo smothered it with a kiss. They’d only just finished but Leofric had never met anyone who could kiss like Cosmo, and it took him several attempts before he could regain sense enough to stop him.
“Just for a day, or two,” Cosmo wheedled.
“Why?” Leofric did not dare think Cosmo wanted to linger just for him, there had to be more to this.
Cosmo had regained his wicked smile, the one that had his nose crinkling up and his eyes glittering with mischief. His hands roamed beneath the fur blankets, seeking to distract Leofric again. “I thought it would be nice to rest here,” he said, lowering his lips to kiss Leofric’s neck. He teased his tongue along the side of his throat, bit his earlobe and ground against Leofric’s thigh. “I have so much more I wish to share with you.”
Leofric surrendered with a helpless groan, wrapping Cosmo in his arms and rolling them both. He pinned Cosmo to the blankets, and while he needed some time to gather himself, it was plain Cosmo did not. Leofric forged a path of kisses from Cosmo’s bruised lips down his throat and chest, reaching his groin in no time at all. He took Cosmo in his mouth again and soon all talk of leaving that day had fled from either of their minds.
Every night when he fell into sex-soaked sleep, Leofric told himself, tomorrow. They could leave tomorrow. Summer was still high, they had time aplenty before the season waned. He allowed himself to be distracted for the first week of this, having never known such sweet luxury, never known such pleasure and peace. But soon, he began to wonder. Each morning, Cosmo would depart their cave, claiming some need or other—forage, hunting, or perhaps some duty as the season’s shepherd, and Leofric would not see him for hours. He always returned, but it left Leofric wondering.
He tried to let it go as long as he could, because their fiery golden nights and soft mornings in the cave were the happiest Leofric could ever remember being, but the hours spent in solitude in the during the day left him restless and unsettled. Cosmo would still use all of his considerable whiles to stave off the conversation of their departure—not that Leofric pushed him too hard. One night, he asked Cosmo if he could accompany him, the following day, when he went off on his own. Cosmo did not answer, and Leofric was almost certain he was feigning sleep.
The next day, Leofric felt he had no choice but to follow Cosmo, to see what he was getting up to. It left him feeling sly and guilty, and he did not like it, but he also felt something was on Cosmo’s mind that mattered to him a great deal. Leofric only wished to share it. Cosmo wound his way through the trees, down the path, searching for something amongst the crevasses and stony outcroppings. Leofric wondered what on earth he could be searching for—some memento from his boyhood, perhaps? More curious than ever, Leofric followed at a distance, wondering how long he could get away with this secrecy.
“I know you are there,” said Cosmo suddenly, as if he could read Leofric’s mind. “Why don’t you come out?”
Leofric sighed, held up his hands and stepped out from behind the copse of scraggy trees he’d thought concealed him. “Apologies.”
Cosmo braced one hand upon his hip. “Why are you following me?”
“I worry,” said Leofric. “About you.”
Cosmo laughed. “You worry about me? A god?”
“I worry you have something weighing upon you,” said Leofric. “I would help you carry whatever burden you’re trying to bear alone.”
Cosmo melted a bit at that, some of the tension rolling from his shoulders. “You are very gallant, Captain,” said Cosmo. He danced a few steps closer, and lowered his voice to a throaty purr. “How can I repay such kindness?”
“Stop that,” Leofric snapped, seizing Cosmo’s wrists before his nimble fingers could make any mischief.
Cosmo flinched.
Leofric softened, brushing his thumbs over the interior of Cosmo’s wrists. He stooped to kiss his forehead. “I will toss you over my shoulder and carry you back our cave this instant,” said Leofric, “if you can look me in the eye and tell me there is nothing on your mind but simple bed sport.”
Cosmo met his gaze at first, but soon enough he broke with a sigh. He tried to pull away, to pull his shields back up, to keep Leofric away, but they had shared too much. Leofric would not be scared off so easily. He pulled Cosmo close and kissed the crown of his head. “Tell me,” he whispered into Cosmo’s hair.
“You’ll laugh,” said Cosmo, muffled against Leofric’s chest.
He seized Cosmo’s face in his hands and kissed him thoroughly. “Never.”
Cosmo covered Leofric’s hands with his own and let out a shuddery sigh. At first, Leofric thought he still wasn’t going to answer, but then he said, “I think my brother is alive.”
Cosmo let his admission hang in the air between them, wondering what Leofric would say. Would he think Cosmo mad? Would he coddle him? Laugh in his face?
The answer, as it happened, was none of these. Leofric tilted his head to the side, puzzled. “Your…?”
“Ozias,” said Cosmo. It had been weighing on him since he’d retrieved Kryos’s grace. Ozias had spoken to him—all his brothers had. He had thought it some spell, some peculiar remnant of each that lived within Kryos’s grace, captured in the crystal. Of course, he knew that Auro, Cedras, and Kryos lived—and that they had the power of their father coursing through their veins.
Ozias was different. He had godsblood, to be sure. Terras had fathered Ozias on an enchantress from a far-off land, and that was all Cosmo knew of his brother’s mother. But Terras had never imparted his grace to Ozias, never given him godly power.
When he’d first crawled into bed with Leofric that night, it was only after Cosmo had sat in the hearth for hours, thinking, while the fire died around him, trying to get warm. It had been Ozias’s words that kept him shivering, the presence of his brother that had felt so different from the shades of the other three. It was Ozias, in truth. Cosmo couldn’t say where the confidence came from, but he knew it in his bones.
“What makes you say that?” Leofric asked, and he peered around Cosmo, squinting into the distance as if Ozias were hiding just behind them.
It wasn’t that absurd, Cosmo thought; he’d been searching for him, combing the mountainside for days. “I felt him,” said Cosmo. “I heard him.”
“When?”
“When I found Kryos’s grace, in its enchanted chamber. He was there, I know it.”
Leofric furrowed his brow. “Are you certain?”
“Yes,” said Cosmo. “While I was crossing the chamber, I had…visions.”
“Visions,” Leofric repeated, and Cosmo could hear the skepticism in his voice.
“Yes,” said Cosmo, flaring up. He shook off Leofric’s touch and backed off a few steps to pace restlessly in the clearing. “Is that really so odd?”
“Of course, it isn’t,” said Leofric. “Well, it is, but not so odd compared to…” he gestured vaguely at Cosmo.
“Compared to me? Because I am so odd?”
“Yes,” said Leofric. “This of gods and curses is not usual for someone like me.”
“You’re right,” said Cosmo with a sigh. “Apologies. I just…I don’t know what to think.”
“Let me help,” said Leofric, his voice soft and urgent. “Tell me of the visions.”
“They weren’t true visions per say,” said Cosmo, correcting himself. He considered how best to describe the presences he’d felt in the cavern below the mountain. “Auro was there,” he said. “Cedras, and even Kryos. It was as if I could feel them, walking at my back. Walking with me.”
“And Ozias?” Leofric prompted.
“Him too,” said Cosmo. He hesitated here, wondering how much to divulge. Looking into Leofric’s eyes, Cosmo decided on the truth—or, what he understood of it, anyway. If Leofric were going to mock him, well, he’d rather know that now than… when?
Leofric’s severe brows knit together. “Where did you go?” He asked, as he always did when Cosmo made any attempt to conceal his thoughts.
“Apologies,” said Cosmo. He stepped close and pressed a kiss to the corner of Leofric’s mouth. “I was just choosing my words. It was a very strange feeling, down there, in the cavern.”
“Come,” said Leofric. “Let’s return to our camp. I’ve gathered some supplies for supper, but I know better than to cook, absent your supervision.” And here he gave a fleeting, encouraging smile, soft enough to melt through Cosmo’s defenses.
“Alright,” Cosmo allowed.
Once returned to their cozy little campsite within the mountain, Cosmo turned a wild turkey on a spit, and gave a stir to a pot of hunter’s porridge he’d pulled together from the things Leofric foraged. The man might be a dismal cook, but he knew his business when it came to hunting and gathering. Savory smells filled the cavern, and beyond the glow of their fire, the stars were out, and fireflies dotted the rocky ground that served them like a terrace.
They ate their fill before breaking further words about Cosmo’s experience down below, and enough time had passed that Cosmo had almost convinced himself that perhaps he needn’t expand further. Leofric was not about to let him get off so easily, however. Once they’d tossed their bones and scraps into the hearth, he said, “I believe you were going to tell me more of why you refuse to leave this mountain.”
“Yes,” said Cosmo. “As I said, it is…difficult to find the words.”
“You were speaking of your brothers,” said Leofric. “And some form of their presence lingering with Kryos’s grace below.”
“Yes,” said Cosmo. “They spoke of Auro’s trial. I don’t believe it was them truly but…a sort of…echo, crafted through enchantment.”
“Alright,” said Leofric, and Cosmo could tell these things were outside the realm of his experience. He spoke like a man struggling to stay abreast of something he did not truly believe, but made honest attempt to open his mind.
“The shade of Ozias felt different,” said Cosmo. “I cannot explain it, not truly but…it seemed as though his presence was an entirely different one from theirs. It felt more…”
“Alive?”
Cosmo looked at him, hating the pity he saw in Leofric’s eyes. “Yes,” he said, defiantly.
“Cosmo,” said Leofric, his tone softer than Cosmo had ever heard it, and Cosmo hated that too, the coddling, placating lilt to his name as Leofric spoke. “I know the pain of a brother’s loss. I understand?—”
“No, you don’t,” Cosmo snapped. He stood, leaving Leofric to his small-minded mortal views and exited the cave.
Cosmo climbed up onto the rounded stone dais and sat. He drew his knees up to his chest and rested his chin upon them, staring out into the vast green sea that spilled down the mountainside, pooling around its feet. It was dark, and sounds and sights of summer evenings comforted him. Cosmo had always enjoyed fireflies, liking how they flitted to and fro like little errant stars, like the night sky had fallen over the earth at night, a sparkling blanket, tucking it in to slumber.
“For someone so old, you have less patience than anyone I’d ever met.”
Cosmo twisted in his seat, to see Leofric clambering up beside him. He sat cross-legged, his back rigid as a spear, hands resting on his knees. “You have even less, it seems,” he replied. Cosmo had only been out here a few minutes.
“What I mean to say,” said Leofric, tilting his face up toward the moon, “is that you have seen more of this world than I could ever hope to see in my lifetime.”
Cosmo frowned. This was true enough, he supposed, but he could not see what it had to do with the matter at hand.
“This world of curses and enchantments, living statues, and the grace of gods…I knew nothing of it a year ago. Forget a year—I knew nothing of it a season ago.”
Cosmo had a feeling Leofric still had not arrived at his point, so he remained silent.
“You have had four centuries to become used to these things; they are as normal to you as the sunrise is to a man like me. Forgive me, a mortal, my skepticism. I am learning as fast as I am able.”
Cosmo smiled, and leaned over to press a kiss to Leofric’s shoulder. “Perhaps even one as old as I can learn patience.”
“I doubt it.”
Cosmo shoved him, and Leofric only laughed. “If you’re done,” said Cosmo, but he couldn’t muster any true annoyance. “I will try to explain again.”
“Thank you,” said Leofric quietly. “I only wish to help.”
“I know,” said Cosmo. He waited a while, gathering his thoughts. “From what Auro told me, of the vision he received at spring’s end, our mother had left an imprint of herself, like a shade, to convey words even though centuries have escaped since she last truly spoke.”
“Yes,” said Leofric. “The way he spoke of her, it appeared her presence was fading. Losing strength as it were.”
“Indeed. The presence of Kryos, Cedras and Auro below felt much the same as he described.”
“But Ozias felt different?”
“Yes,” said Cosmo.
“Did you lay eyes upon a…form?”
Cosmo looked at the ground, ashamed. “No,” he said. “I was afraid. Afraid that if I turned to look at any of them…”
“…they would disappear?”
He nodded. “It was only after, when I was back up here, that I regained sense enough to peel apart what I had seen, and heard, and felt, below the mountain.”
“And what you felt was Ozias?”
“Yes.” Cosmo turned to face Leofric. “I am not sure how, or what it means, but I am telling you, Ozias lives.”
“Well,” said Leofric, “in that case, I suppose we’d better find him, and ask him what the fuck he’s been doing for four hundred years.”