Chapter 26
CHAPTER 26
C osmo froze. “Your brother?”
“Yes.”
When no further explanation seemed forthcoming, Cosmo sighed, and turned back to face Leofric. “Alright,” said Cosmo. “Tell me.”
Leofric began to pace, and the words came slowly, they came reluctantly, but they came. “We’d been out in the field for months, far afield. Our legion finally arrived to set its camp outside a city on the órnian border. The night we arrived, the men in my legion drew lots for guard duty, as we always had. I drew the overnight watch that first evening.”
Cosmo could not truly see where this was going, but he allowed Leofric time to draw breath, to steady himself. Something about his carriage alerted Cosmo that perhaps these words had never been spoken aloud before.
“My brother offered to trade with me,” said Leofric. “He was married, you see—and he took his vows very seriously. Others in our legion were planning to visit the city, for drinks and dice and…” Even in the dark, Cosmo could tell his face was brick red.
“Wenching? Or…in your case…hmm. I’m not certain I know what the man version of wenching is called.”
“Yes,” said Leofric, embarrassed. “So, I traded watches with Hamalcar, and myself and a dozen others journeyed into the city. We’d been in town for a few hours when one of the men saw smoke rising from westward. We gathered ourselves and returned to the camp as swiftly as we could, and the place was in chaos. An órnian raiding party had fallen upon the camp—a full two legions of men stole the march on us and it was a bloody rout.
“We threw them back, once everyone had sounded the alarm, but at great cost. A third of our men were dead or dying, and they’d set fire to our baggage lines, burning all of the supplies and rations we brought with us on the march.”
Cosmo had found himself drawing closer with every sentence Leofric spoke.
Leofric grunted, like he had to clear his throat. Cosmo could see the way he fought to keep his voice steady. “It was dawn before we had the full casualty report—and I found my brother by the…by his post.”
“He was dead?” Cosmo asked gently. He was close enough now to cup Leofric’s elbow and give it a squeeze.
“No,” said Leofric miserably. “He lived, he lived long enough for me to make certain he knew I’d care for Laela and Sorex. To give my life for them if need be, just as we had planned years before.”
Cosmo frowned. “It was not your fault.”
“It was ,” Leofric insisted. “If I could have just controlled myself, if I could have?—”
“It would have been you slaughtered at your post,” said Cosmo flatly. “And Hamalcar might still have been killed in the fight.”
Leofric shook his head, as if Cosmo’s words were angry flies buzzing about his ears. “No.”
“ Yes, ” Cosmo insisted. “A third of your men, you said.”
“I did,” Leofric admitted. “I wish?—”
“Wish, what? That you’d died? Like that would have made everything better, somehow?”
Leofric didn’t answer.
“Blaming yourself might be easier,” said Cosmo. “Maybe it kept you going all this time. But you can’t do this forever.”
“I can,” said Leofric stubbornly. “It’s the least I could do.”
“It is the least,” said Cosmo. “You’re willing to die for your family. Are you willing to live for them?”
“I thought so,” Leofric said. “ You made me think so.”
“Then what happened?”
“When I saw the letter, it was like losing my brother all over again—like I was making the same mistake.”
“Even if the letter hadn’t been a forgery, you do not have the power to bring someone back from the brink of death,” said Cosmo harshly.
“I could have been there,” Leofric insisted. “I could have stood by them. I could have…”
Cosmo scoffed. “You need so badly to punish yourself,” he said. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” He hung his head. “I don’t know.”
“You cling to your regrets like a lifeline,” said Cosmo. “You think they’ll save you, but they’re just dragging you down below. If you don’t let go, you’ll drown.”
“Funny thing for you to say,” Leofric said.
“Perhaps it’s good advice, for both of us.”
“Perhaps,” Leofric agreed, grudgingly. “Laela said something similar.”
“She is very wise,” said Cosmo.
“Indeed. Though it is difficult to admit that you are right.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Menace.”
“Deviant.”
Leofric pulled him in, crushing Cosmo against his chest, nuzzling into his hair. “Did I mention how much I missed you?”
“Yes,” said Cosmo. “But I could stand to hear it a few more times.”
“And how sorry I am?”
Cosmo stood on tip toe to offer Leofric a kiss. “I know. And I am too.”
“So,” said Leofric. “Your brother?”
Cosmo stilled. “Yes,” he said. “I can’t believe it.”
“Truly? Neither can I.”
Cosmo scowled. “Yes, you made that abundantly clear before you left me, on a mountain. ”
“I’m never going to hear the end of that, am I?”
“Nope.”
“I suppose I deserve it,” he admitted. “So, tell me, where did you finally find Ozias?”
“He found me,” Cosmo said.
Leofric frowned. “What?”
“It was the very night you left,” said Cosmo. “I was…”
“Wenching?”
Cosmo’s gaze was hard. “No, actually, I was drinking, alone, because some heartless scoundrel fucked me and then left me alone on a mountain.”
An aggrieved sigh escaped Leofric and he frowned. “So, that night, he found you what, drowning in a vat of wine?”
“Close enough,” Cosmo admitted.
Leofric’s eyes narrowed further, and his frown deepened. “That seems…peculiar.”
“How so?”
“Well, if he appeared at your side, he was most likely watching you, correct?”
“Well, that makes good sense. I doubt it was a coincidence.”
“If he was watching you, he knew you searched for him. He knew you were trying to find him.”
“Yes, and?”
“ And,” said Leofric, exasperated. “Why did he wait until you were alone? Why did he wait at all?”
“What are you getting at?”
“Just…the timing. It seems…suspicious.”
“He was afraid,” said Cosmo, dismissive. “He didn’t know you. Didn’t know who you were or what you might want.”
“But, he has been alive all this time? And he chooses the moment you’re alone to?—”
“Leofric,” said Cosmo. “What are you saying?”
“You’re sure that Ozias is really…”
“Really what? ”
“Who he says he is.” Leofric sighed. “This letter—someone wanted to separate us. And Ozias appeared as soon as we were separated.”
“A coincidence,” Cosmo snapped, though the same fear had been niggling at him, too. He didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to say it out loud.
“Just…” Leofric grabbed Cosmo’s upper arms, giving them a squeeze. “Be careful.”
Trying to change the subject, Cosmo leaned into the touch. “You worried about me?”
“Yes,” said Leofric flatly.
“Well, you worry too much.”
“You don’t worry enough!”
“Are we fighting again already? Because I believe I need a brief refractory period.”
Leofric’s laugh slipped out, startled from him. “I thought you had unlimited stamina.”
“For some things.”
“Not for arguing?”
“Hmm,” said Cosmo. “Perhaps my old age is catching up with me.”
“That must be it.”
They talked all night.
Well, that was a lie. They used their mouths all night, at least. But they did talk a lot, more than Leofric had possibly ever talked in his entire life. He was exhausted. Cosmo never stopped talking, even when he drifted off to sleep mid-sentence, muttering and drooling against Leofric’s chest. Dawn would be here soon, and Leofric had just arrived the decision that when the sun rose, they would all set off for Papia. Cosmo was good in a fight, and presumably Ozias had lived the long years of his life because he was a survivor, but the fact that they were so isolated out here did not make him feel safe. He feared for his family’s safety, and for Cosmo’s. He didn’t know if that was rational, but it was there, and it was foolish for him to keep pretending otherwise. He cared deeply for this strange, small, freckled man clinging to him fitfully as he slept.
He stood, scooping Cosmo with him. He mumbled a sleepy complaint but otherwise didn’t stir. Leofric tightened his arms around Cosmo, just for himself. He was so glad he was back, glad that they were on the way to repairing what happened between them. It had been hard for him to tell the story of what happened the night Hamalcar died—he’d never told anyone how he felt about it before. Who would he tell? Other soldiers lost brothers all the time—whether blood relations or of the ‘in arms’ variety—and telling the story to Laela would have most likely only served to alleviate Leofric’s guilt while causing her more pain. He had no interest in that. He felt raw, but lighter. Much lighter.
Inside the darkened villa, Leofric hesitated. The place had three cubiculae: Sorex’s chambers, Melia’s chambers, and a guest chamber. The family room had two or three settees, so he could bring Cosmo there. Ozias, presumably, would be snoring on one. But he didn’t wish to put Cosmo down, to part with him at all. Instead of going into the family room, Leofric went down the narrow corridor toward the guest chamber. Just as he was about to reach for the handle on the door it swung open from within.
Startled, Leofric took a step back, hoisting Cosmo higher and turning his body away. Instinct, like Leofric had to shield him. But it was only Ozias. He saw them and shot Leofric a conspiratorial grin, like he and Leofric were old friends. “Looks like you made up,” he said quietly.
“Yes,” said Leofric curtly, unsure why the word came out so sharp and impatient.
Ozias’s smile didn’t fade, but his eyes narrowed a bit, like he was wondering about the bite in Leofric’s voice. “He was moping the entire way here,” Ozias added. “He’s usually…I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“What were you doing in there?” Leofric asked abruptly.
“Apologies,” said Ozias. “I didn’t know how long you’d be and I couldn’t get comfortable out there in the living room.”
“Why were you coming back out, then?”
Ozias shrugged. “Couldn’t get comfortable in there either.”
Leofric stared at him, long and hard. Ozias looked a bit like Cosmo; they shared the same lively hazel eyes, the same slight build. Ozias was pale where Cosmo was freckled, his hair and beard dark where Cosmo’s hair was alive with color. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, though, and there was something about him like a horse about to bolt. He stood on the balls of his feet, poised to run. They stared at each other for a long, long while before Leofric said, “Alright.”
Ozias brightened immediately. “I’m going to keep watch,” he said. “You might as well get some sleep, if you can.”
Leofric nodded. “We leave for Papia at Sunrise.”
“Can’t wait.” Ozias offered one final smile and walked down the corridor.
Leofric watched him go, but the call of bed was far too strong, and the sleepless nights caught up with him all at once. And, despite Cosmo’s slight build, Leofric’s arms were getting tired. So, he nudged open the door to the bed chamber. The sconce on the wall cast a low glow, and after a quick scan, Leofric saw nothing was out of place in the room, anyway. He plopped Cosmo on the sleeping couch and stripped out of his own things. The spot on the bed beside a sleeping Cosmo was so inviting that for once Leofric didn’t bother gathering his clothes and hanging them before climbing in beside him. He pulled Cosmo close and was asleep in seconds.
At the dawn Leofric woke alone, and sat up, startled. He heard voices coming from the kitchen, so he pulled a tunic over his head and walked toward them, dragging his fingers through his tangled hair. The pink glow of dawn transformed the villa, it was warm and happy and bustling with life. Cosmo and Ozias were in the kitchen, jesting and shouting back and forth as they cooked. Occasionally, one of them would holler a question off into the corridor and Laela’s voice would answer from somewhere else in the house.
“Good morning,” said Ozias, handing Leofric a plate.
“Morning,” he said. “You two are up and about early.”
“You wanted to leave near sunrise, didn’t you?” Cosmo asked, a soft smile on his face.
“I did,” he allowed. “But I have to talk to?—”
“I already told them,” said Ozias.
“You already told—what?”
“I was up early, so when Laela woke and asked me if all was well, I told her you wanted all of us to be ready to leave for Papia as soon as possible.”
“You did what? ”
“Did you…did you want to leave them behind?” Ozias asked.
“No,” Leofric admitted, out of sorts. “No, of course not.”
“Well, then, there you go!” Ozias handed him a mug of tea as well. “They’ve already gotten a jump on things.”
Leofric frowned down at his plate, wrong footed. He had wanted to discuss things with Laela, to possibly even discuss things with Sorex himself, too. But then, he supposed it didn’t matter. They’d have time enough to talk on the road, and the sooner they left, the better Leofric would feel. Then, Cosmo laid a hand on his shoulder, gave it a squeeze, and the strangeness of the morning was forgotten.
Leofric spent the rest of the morning trying to get everyone to move with a bit more urgency, so in the end he was grateful for Ozias for getting a jump on things. While obviously Leofric did not wish for his family to be under siege, he found it very strange that whoever sent the forged letter had not made their move yet. If the point of the letter had been to isolate him from Cosmo—presumably so that he wouldn’t have Cosmo’s power to defend himself—why had this person now allowed Cosmo and Leofric to reunite? It made no sense. Perhaps their goal was to throw Leofric off his axis, to distract him and allow them to exploit another vulnerability? Either way, he didn’t like it.
The sooner they were all away, back in Papia, surrounded by the high walls of the royal villa, the better. The journey presented its own dangers, but Leofric had to hope that whoever had designs on hurting him or his family would hesitate now that he a demigod on his side.
Two, actually.
That brought him up short. Ozias was surely a demigod, as well—but he had no idea what powers he might have. Cosmo had told him that his father had imparted the brothers with their own powers and gifts, but he’d never mentioned what gifts might have been granted to Ozias. He would have to ask Cosmo about it, so they could be truly prepared for any possible difficulties on the road.
Leofric finished his breakfast and wandered out to the stables to ready the horses. He debated bringing a wagon, knowing that neither Sorex nor Laela had ridden such a long distance before, but decided against it. It would only encourage them all to take longer packing up their things, since the wagon could carry more. He would try to keep a steady but gentle pace for his wife and son’s sake, but the wagon was far too slow.
He saddled Lyra for Sorex. She was a reliable and steady horse, and Leofric knew she was the swiftest mount his family owned. If something happened on the road, he could rely on Lyra to carry Sorex to safety. For himself, he saddled Selene, Hamalcar’s warhorse. Ozias and Cosmo had their own mounts, and there were three horses remaining. He chose a mount for Laela, and got all of them ready. As soon as they were away, he would write to the magistrate in the nearby city of Antiope, to send someone out to the property and retrieve the other horses.
“Hey,” said a voice.
Leofric jumped, but softened immediately when he realized it was only Cosmo. “Hello.”
“Are you alright?”
Leofric sighed, pondering how to answer. “This was my brother’s horse,” he said suddenly, running the knuckles of his hand down the side of Selene’s neck.
“Oh,” said Cosmo. He didn’t seem like he knew what to say.
“I couldn’t bring myself to ride her, after…” he trailed away. “I couldn’t bear to sell her either. She hasn’t had much to do with herself for three years.”
Cosmo joined him at the animal’s side. “Well, she has an important mission now.” He ran his fingers through Margaret’s mane, until he met Leofric’s hand. He threaded their hands together and squeezed. Leofric smiled.