Chapter 1
CHAPTER ONE
I drop my training blade in the damp dirt at Brynne’s feet and storm out of the sparring ring. It doesn’t matter that I am covered in sweat and dried mud. When the king calls, you answer.
At least I do.
The sound of my footsteps echoes off the stone walls as I make my way down the hall toward the throne room. The slam of a wooden door followed by the familiar clink of armor and surefooted steps stops me in my tracks as Brynne quickly catches up with me.
My father doesn’t summon me often, so I know that when he does, there is a reason. When he does, there is no ignoring it. I stop what I am doing and go to him, wondering along the way what new demand or restriction he is going to put in place.
I am already isolated and forbidden from leaving the castle grounds. I have no one close other than Brynne and Edmond, but even they are required to spend time with me. Brynne for protection, and Edmond for education. My days are planned down to the minute, my evenings spent alone in my rooms, reading whatever I can get my hands on.
He can’t take much more away from me, which can only mean one thing. He wants something.
“We could have at least finished the fight before you stormed off,” Brynne mutters as she steps into stride behind me.
“You know how he is. I can’t keep him waiting.”
“I’m sure a few minutes wouldn’t have mattered.”
We slow as we near the ornate gold and black wooden doors. I place my hand on the giant gold handle as I turn back toward Brynne.
“Let’s just get this over with. Then I can go back to being ignored.”
I push the door open, the throne room extending in front of me, empty except for two men standing on the dais. I stride quickly down the walkway and come to a halt at the foot of the few steps below the two empty thrones. My father stands before his, murmuring to the man in charge of the day-to-day functions of the castle. I catch his eye and he looks up, quickly dismissing the man.
“Father.” I drop into a small curtsy that feels awkward and clunky in my training boots and breeches. I wasn’t going to change into one of my usual plain dresses just because his summons came during my training session. “You called for me?”
His eyes glance over my attire, catching on the dried mud caked on the fabric. His lack of approval over how I chose to meet with the king is clear.
Too bad.
As always, when his eyes come to my face, they quickly dart away, a look flashing across his before he schools it back into a mask of indifference.
I shift uncomfortably at his disapproval and clasp my hands behind my back. “I came as soon as I could.”
“I want to discuss the ceremony with you.” He turns to sit on his throne, eyes still falling anywhere but my face .
Brynne’s armor clanks as she shifts behind me. She notices his obvious dismissal too.
“The ceremony and ball,” I say. I am one of the few people in the castle who dares to correct the king.
He continues without acknowledging my addition. “As I’m sure you know, the celebration stems from Blackwood tradition. There are many elements of the ceremony that are integral for the future queen of this kingdom. I have instructed Edmond to ensure that your lessons over the next few weeks will make you adequately prepared for it. A few weeks is a sufficient amount of time. I expect the ceremony will go smoothly. Understood?”
I nod. “Of course.”
He speaks as if this ceremony is news to me, not that I have been dreaming about it for years. As a child, I had little to do after completing my day’s lessons than wander the castle and read. I would get lost for hours in books filled with magic and balls, princesses being swept off of their feet and living happily ever after. Finding out about the coming-of-age ceremony for the rulers of Blackwood only fueled my na?ve excitement that one day I would get to experience the same thing.
As I grew older, I still looked forward to my twenty-first birthday and the ceremony, but not for the same reasons. I was no longer na?ve enough to believe in magic or being swept away by a prince, but I hoped that for just one night I could escape the intense loneliness that followed me around the castle halls, sinking deep into my bones. I wanted a real escape, not one just between the pages of books.
The stories grew as I did and were no longer filled with solely happily ever afters. There was plenty of political scheming, backstabbing, and forbidden romance.
I didn’t want to admit it, but I still deep down wondered if the night of my ceremony, the night I would be officially recognized as the future queen of Blackwood and able to rule the kingdom if something were to happen to my father, would actually be the night that my life would change .
Maybe opening our doors to other kingdoms and establishing relationships with other future leaders would help break my father’s hold on me, his so-called ‘protection’ from whatever he was afraid of.
These kinds of events were not just the things of storybooks and actually had political use. Many trade deals were struck, allies formed, and even marriage contracts negotiated. Marriage was not at all on my list of concerns for this event. My father would never allow it, not yet anyway. Not until it was absolutely necessary to further the line of Blackwood. If it was, he wouldn’t have hidden me from everyone in the land, including our own people. In twenty years, they have never once laid eyes on their own princess.
He lifts his arm and gestures to the back of the room, beckoning someone forward.
I glance over my shoulder to see Tila striding toward the throne. Her apprentices follow closely behind her, their arms laden with bolts of fabric.
“Are there any topics you’d like us to review regarding the other kingdoms? I want to be prepared in case things such as goods or trade routes come up?—”
“I will handle those discussions.” He cuts me off, and heat rises on the back of my neck.
I keep my face blank, but my gaze trained on him.
Why doesn’t he want me to be prepared for conversations with other kingdoms? The sons and daughters of the current monarchs are to be my peers one day. How does he expect me to be the queen of Blackwood if I have no relationships or history with any of them? I will look like a porcelain princess in their eyes, never involved in anything of substance, just there to sit on the throne and look pretty.
This ceremony, my birthday, is to be my first impression, and I don’t want to disappoint. I want to be seen as a strong future queen, and a force to be reckoned with.
In my lifetime, my father has never invited neighboring rulers or allies into the castle. There are stories, whispers amongst the staff, or snippets of Edmond’s reminiscing, which told me that this was not how things used to be. As a young king who walked among the people, he heard their struggles and successes, their happiness and sadness. He cared about them, and they cared about him, earning loyalty both ways.
He would hold meetings with other kings, and my mother would host grand balls to welcome everyone. There were picnics and hunts, things that showed off all the kingdom of Blackwood had to offer to the visitors.
Our forests filled with unique sky high black wooded trees are a source of awe, and a thriving trade that brings in a significant amount of money for our people. Keeping up these relationships is important for the success of our kingdom.
All of this stopped as soon as my mother was gone. As soon as I was here.
I never knew this world. Not once was there a party at the castle, or friends to invite from other kingdoms. I never knew the prospect of meeting princes I could marry. I had no hope for a happily ever after, like I read about as a child. What made me actually think I could have a happy ending when I watched my father be so unhappy every day of his life?
Maybe this celebration would finally convince my father that things could be different, and he didn’t have to hide me away. I can prove to him I belong amongst the other rulers and could begin to build relationships with them for the future of our kingdom.
If only he didn’t keep shutting me down every time I try to show him I am ready for my place in the kingdom.
“Your majesty.” The royal seamstress, Tila, dips into a deep curtsy, bowing her head toward my father. She steps in front of me, looking me up and down.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” she clucks as she glides around, assessing me on all sides. “Be mindful of the mud. I do not want the fabrics ruined.” Her assistants scurry around me, one of them placing a small pedestal at my feet .
“Sorry Tila.” The stoic face I keep for my father cracks and softens slightly as I mutter my apology and step up on the pedestal. I always feel like a child again when I stand on it in front of everyone, not only because the position brings back memories of Tila dressing me for as long as I can remember, but also because my height makes me feel like a child in comparison. The pedestal does nothing but elevate my short stature, and make it easier for them to move about, sticking me with pins and pulling things tight.
Tila gives me a soft smile. She knows me almost as well as Brynne and Edmond. She hates that I don’t love the extravagant gowns and showy clothes she always wants to create, not that I have much occasion to wear them. I’d much rather wear mud covered pants or a simple soft dress than the ball gown, but she doesn’t judge me for it. Too much, at least.
Her assistants get to work, wrapping their tape measures around my body and jostling me into different positions.
Tila turns back toward my father and claps her hands. “This is to be the grandest dress we’ve made for her highness to date. Traditional, of course, but grand. I’m thinking satin, in the kingdom’s colors. The gold will complement her hair.” Tila gestures at my hair, my normal wavy golden tresses bound into a tight braid that falls over my shoulder, then gives a sound of disgust. “At least it will when she isn’t covered in dirt and grime.” She looks back toward my father. “Are there any specifics you have in mind, your majesty?”
“No Tila, thank you.” A small smile lifts his face, following his quick response.
I feel a pang in my chest at the tiny gesture. Many would not notice it, but I do. How can everyone else in the castle earn such respect and acknowledgement from my father, but for years, he has barely looked at or spoken to me? It has only worsened as I age, and I do not understand it. No matter what I try to do, how well I perform at my lessons, or how skilled I am in training, nothing is ever enough.
The girls jostle me as Tila gives them direction, but I’m not listening. Instead, I am focused on my father as he turns his attention to Brynne.
“Since you have not yet been present for a ceremony, you may be unaware of a crucial element. The ceremony involves the presentation of the future queen with her own dagger for protection. Have you been including dagger skills in her training?”
“Rarely, your majesty. She is competent with a sword and a bow. I will adjust her training regimen to incorporate dagger work.”
My eyes flick down to the dagger at my father’s side. I’d always admired it growing up. It is gorgeous, with a red jeweled handle set in gold, and never leaves his side. Every reigning king or queen designs a dagger for their heir’s ceremony and presents it to them on their twenty-first birthday. They are never to part with it, even in death, to ensure they are always protected.
The dagger would be useless if I don’t know how to use it, so I’m sure our interrupted spar would be forgotten, and instead I’d be working on honing those skills.
“Be sure that you do. It is important.” He gives Brynne a terse nod, sealing his command.
Brynne bows in acknowledgement. “Yes, your majesty.”
He stands from his throne, still refusing to look me in the eye. “You may go.” His words are quiet but firm as he strides toward the doorway off to the right of the dais.
The dismissal is clear, but I cannot move. Tila’s assistants have me wrapped in a fabric that is draped behind me, halfway down the aisle.
I make a sound of distaste as I look back at it.
“Don’t scoff. Scoffing isn’t for princesses.” Tila’s voice is hard with a mock scolding.
I roll my eyes as I turn back to her. “You know I hate tripping on gowns.”
“Well, that should not be a problem, as there will be no need to make a hasty getaway in this one.” She smirks and then claps her hands. “I think we are done here. We have enough to get started. We are on a tight schedule, but I will make it work. ”
“Thank you Tila. I’m sure it will be beautiful.” I smile at her as I step off the pedestal.
She returns it warmly. “It will be. Just like the future queen wearing it.” She steps around me and quickly makes her way out of the throne room, her assistants trailing behind her. Tila is an older woman, and while we don’t interact daily, I’ve known her my whole life. She is like a protective aunt, in the absence of a real one, since neither of my parents had siblings. Hearing the pride in her voice brings a tickle of a tear to my eye.
I turn on my heel and stride quickly toward the door. Brynne’s sure footsteps trail behind me, but she doesn’t say a word. She knows how I feel after these meetings with my father and knows that even though we have been training all afternoon, I am going to need to work off some more steam.
Thoughts of the upcoming ceremony flood my mind.
Why is my father so insistent that I leave all political duties to him? I’ve been preparing for this day for years, and it is finally my time to cement my place as a future ruler of this kingdom.
It seems like he doesn’t want me to be.
But why? I race through the possibilities, coming up with nothing except for one glaring reality.
He doesn’t think I am capable of being queen.
Is that the reason he doesn’t trust me to discuss important topics with the other heirs? Is it why he keeps me locked away, preventing anyone from knowing me, or letting me experience the world outside these walls? He doesn’t even want our people to know anything more than my name.
What kind of king completely disregards his heir?
He hasn’t even acknowledged that this is to take place on my birthday. He never did. Year after year to him, it is just another day.
Fuck him.
I will prove he is wrong.
There are a few weeks left to prepare to be the best representation of Blackwood that our people and the other kingdoms would finally see .
I will prove to him I can be queen, that I can hold my own amongst the other leaders despite years of being hidden away, giving me less of an advantage. I will be the best queen this kingdom doesn’t have a choice but to accept.
I am tired of being alone and disregarded. It is my time, a time I’ve been looking forward to for years, and I will not let him take it away from me.