Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
“ I f only Tila could see me now,” I murmur as I scan my reflection in the mirror, looking over the staff outfit I had snagged from the laundry to make sure nothing about it would give me away.
I need to blend in, not only if anyone inside the castle saw me, but also so I didn’t catch the attention of whoever I encountered outside of it.
I stayed in the library well into the night, pulling all the books I could find with any information that might be helpful for my mother. Edmond had taught me the basics of healing and the human body during my lessons growing up, so at least I understood what I was reading.
Despite being in the castle library and supposedly having the largest range of books and texts in our kingdom, I didn’t find anything specific to a case like hers. I scoured the titles, poured over the table of contents, and spent hours reading anything that was even remotely related. I couldn’t find any case like hers, or any sort of treatment for a body in a perpetual sleep .
It isn’t until the windows brighten with the coming dawn that I made my decision. I needed to exhaust all possibilities and search elsewhere. Maybe written encounters of cases like hers never made it to the royal texts. Maybe they were out among the people.
I needed to check. So as my eyes were drooping and my mind was begging for sleep, I decided I was going to do something I had never done before.
I was going to sneak out of the castle.
That decision led me to this moment, staring in this mirror.
I pull my hair back and braid it sloppily, but my eyes catch on the color. Despite no one outside of these walls ever having set eyes on me, I feel that my long golden locks, so similar to my mother’s, would be a dead giveaway.
I scan the surface of the vanity next to the mirror. Maybe I could use something to disguise it. I spot a powder Tila normally uses on my eyes.
Perfect.
I crush the powder, rubbing it between my hands and then wipe it over the surface of my braid. It isn’t a drastic difference, but it is enough that I may get past anyone without a second glance.
I scan myself again in the mirror quickly.
It’ll have to do .
I don’t usually have training with Brynne scheduled for today, so it isn’t abnormal for me to spend the afternoon in my quarters, reading or studying my lessons.
No one should miss me. This entire plan hangs on that, and I don’t have time to waste.
I pull the dark cloak over my shoulders and clip the clasp across my chest, leaving the hood down so I don’t draw attention or look like I’m hiding. I just need to keep my head down and walk with a purpose.
Ready or not.
I pull my door open slightly, stopping to listen for any footsteps or voices. When silence is all that greets me, I slide out of the door and pull it closed silently behind me. I glance down the hallway in both directions. Still no one to be seen.
I turn away from the main staircase, hoping the smaller one at the end of the hall will keep me from running into anyone. I push the doors at the bottom open and walk toward the kitchens, where a ruckus of pots, pans, and voices rise all around me.
Shit .
It’s going to be impossible to slip past all these people without someone noticing me.
I pull up the hood, sucking in a deep breath and holding it as I drop my head and stride purposefully toward the delivery door in the back.
No one pays me any mind.
There is no halt in the conversation, no sign that anyone had even noticed me.
Has it really been this easy the entire time?
Have I really spent years of my life feeling like I could never leave this castle, simply because my father commanded it, but all it took was actually just walking out?
I will not test my luck.
I push open the door and step out into the frigid air. Shutting it quickly behind me, I pull the hood lower over my brow. I glance over my shoulder, eyeing the guards stationed at the gate in the castle wall. Since I never leave, I don’t see the guards stationed here often. I say a quick prayer that they don’t train at the same time as Brynne and I do before I turn to face them and start making my way toward the gate.
My heart pounds harder with every step I take, my palms sweating so much that I slyly rub them on the sides of my skirt under the cloak.
Please don’t notice me .
“Evening, miss,” the closest guard says as I stop in front of him. I drop into a quick curtsey, keeping my eyes on the floor in front of me.
“Good evening, sir,” I say, trying hard to keep my voice low and steady. This is the closest I have ever been to the outside world. I can’t fail now. I can only imagine my father’s reaction if any of the guards recognize me and drag me back to face his punishment.
The lock clicks and the hinges squeal as one of the other guards swings the gate open.
“It’ll be dark soon. Send word if you need one of us to accompany you on your return.”
“Thank you, sir. I will be sure to do that.”
I definitely won’t be doing that, but as the future queen, it is nice to know the guards care for the well-being of all the staff. I give him another small curtsey before striding through the gate, acting as if I do this every day.
Not a big deal. This is normal.
It’s not as though my insides are screaming at me, and my brain is trying to process every single detail to make sure I don’t give myself away.
The moment I step through the gate, an immense weight is lifted off my shoulders.
I made it. I am outside of the castle walls. I have been dreaming about this moment since I was a little girl.
I take a step forward, feeling the unevenness of the cobblestones beneath my feet. The gate clangs closed behind me, and I start walking down the road when reality hits me.
No one knows where I am, or who I am.
I am essentially invisible.
Out here, I can be anyone I want to be. I can put aside the pressures of being the princess, the future queen, the one who makes decisions that affect every person in this city, in the kingdom.
I can just be…me.
I walk with a purpose, still trying to avoid the attention of the guards. I don’t need to give them any reason to question me. Civilians pass by me, walking down the road, bundled up against the cold. I try hard not to make eye contact and focus on my goal .
I know the layout of the city well, despite never having stepped foot into it. Edmond ensured I had a good grasp on geography, not only of the principal city, but the entire kingdom of Blackwood and beyond. The businesses may have changed over the years, but I still know the roads well.
I turn down the next road and head toward the square. The closer I get, the more crowded it becomes. People carry loaves of bread or other items for tonight’s meal as children run and chase each other. Horses are tied at watering troughs and chatter and laughter flowing through the air.
Town feels so…alive.
Blackwood has always been cold and gloomy. We rarely ever have sunlight, and if we do, it merely lightens the perpetual grey cloud cover and mist that rolls through our mountains and forests. It has always felt cold and dull to me. Lifeless.
Not now.
I slow my steps, raising my head slightly to get a better glimpse of the people, to see my kingdom. My lips curve into a small smile as I take everything in, but drops away quickly as a wave of anger comes over me.
My father has been keeping all of this from me. He isn’t letting me experience our people or get to know our kingdom like he did for so many years. He walked the roads, made friends, met my mother. The kingdom knew him. He heard their concerns as their prince, and even more as their young king. He wasn’t just a future king in name only, like I am.
Yet, he refuses to let them know me.
I hold my head a little higher, letting the hood fall back slightly, caring less if someone sees my face. He can’t take this away from me. I’m already out of my cage. I won’t let the feeling deep inside me that I’m breaking the rules or doing something wrong take away this experience. If he finds out and punishes me, so be it .
No one even glances my way, my disguise as castle staff helping me fit in perfectly among the people. I cross the square and head toward the library. The grey sky is still light over the tops of the black trees scattered throughout the city, but I know it will start darkening soon. I need to hurry so I don’t have to walk back to the castle too late in the night, but I have a mission to accomplish. I will not quit before I find at least something that might help her.