Chapter 19
The grass outside Solveig’s tent would likely not grow back as Latham stomped back and forth, patience dwindling. It had been a week since her return and Laeknir still hadn’t let anyone else in to see her.
Every day he paced outside until the crotchety healer barked at him to “go be useless somewhere else.”
Like he had every day, he peeked his head in when he first arrived that morning, but this time, no bearded face and bald head blocked his view. He was surprised to see Laeknir passed out in a chair beside Solveig’s bed, one hand stretched out, holding hers.
Solveig’s face was peaceful as she slept and he hadn’t wanted to interrupt them. He could wait a bit longer, but he would insist on seeing her today. But an hour had passed, and he was getting impatient.
Gerrie sat on the ground near the entrance, reading one of the mortal books Solveig loved so much.
“You’re making it hard for me to concentrate,” she whispered.
“I don’t really care,” he said without looking at her.
“Have you read these books? I used to make fun of Sol for reading them, but they’re so addictive. I read at least ten while she was gone.”
“Yeah, I’ve read a couple. Just for the sex though,” he said absentmindedly.
Gerrie snorted. “Of course. I never know what I’m going to get when I start reading a new one. It could be full of adventure, magic, or the most innocent romance, and then the next book has me clutching my pearls.”
“Yeah right. I’ve heard your bedroom tales.” Latham grinned at her. He was enjoying the unspoken truce they’d formed since Solveig’s return. “Where’s that one on the scale?” he asked, nodding to the book in her hands.
“Definitely a pearl clutcher,” she said with a sly grin.
“Read some out loud.”
“No way. Come read this scene. I bet it’ll make you blush.”
Unable to resist the urge to prove her wrong, Latham took a seat beside her and Gerrie held the book out so they could read together.
It started out tame with a woman and a man on a bed. But Latham’s cheeks heated as a second and third man joined them. He tilted his head, trying to figure out exactly how what they were doing was possible. Gerrie laughed as he cleared his throat in discomfort before chuckling with her.
At that moment, Laeknir exited the tent catching them giggling like school witchlings over anatomy pictures in lesson books.
He peered over their shoulders, and before Gerrie could snap the book closed, Laeknir read aloud in a whisper, “She was filled to the brim with cocks . . .” Latham’s face burned brighter. Even Gerrie’s dark cheeks flushed.
“If you two are done acting like wanton youths who’ve just hit their maturity, Solveig is awake.” He turned on his heel and walked back into the tent. Since he usually told them to leave, Latham assumed this meant they were finally allowed in.
He scrambled to his feet with Gerrie right at his back. They pulled the flap open and walked in to find Solveig propped up on pillows, chugging down another cup of the nasty drink.
It was just called the Drink. Any Vanir would know exactly what you were referring to, so it never needed a proper name.
“You look better,” Gerrie said cheerfully as she took the chair Laeknir had vacated beside Solveig’s bed. Solveig gave her a little smile.
“I brought you a book,” Gerrie continued, handing Solveig the paperback. “I picked the dirtiest one I could find.” She winked.
Solveig took the book carefully, almost reverently, and flipped through the pages. Her eyes caught on some of the words and snapped the pages shut immediately, passing it back to Gerrie with a head shake. Solveig’s brow broke into a sweat, her eyes darting back and forth.
Latham took the book from Gerrie and flipped through it.
“What’s wrong with it, Sol?” Gerrie asked gently. Solveig swallowed and opened her mouth but closed it again when no sound came out. Gerrie glanced at Laeknir with an unspoken question, and he shook his head in silent answer. She still hadn’t spoken.
Latham scanned the book for any clue as to why it had upset her so much. His insides turned to ice.
So quietly he wasn’t sure anyone could hear him, he asked, “Did they rap—erm, touch you?” Though he spoke softly, his voice was vicious. Even he could hear his anger. Solveig blinked rapidly and slowly shook her head. He let out a relieved breath and studied the book again.
Near where he thought she’d stopped, the main character was sprawled out, secured to the bed with chains. He swallowed hard.
“Did they chain you?”
Solveig looked at her wrists and ankles. As if to reassure herself she wasn’t confined, she raised her arms and wiggled her feet off the side of the bed. Gerrie’s hands went out to steady her, but Solveig didn’t need the help. She nodded.
“Okay, no books with chains—not even the fun kind. Got it.”
Latham started to scold Gerrie for her brashness, but a quiet husky laugh burst from Solveig. Her eyes widened, as startled as they were by the sound. She gave Gerrie another smile and leaned into her. Gerrie met her embrace and held on to her tightly.
Gerrie whispered something to Solveig that Latham couldn’t hear. She nodded and Gerrie stroked her hair, standing up. “I’m going to find her some real food.” She tossed a pointed glare at Laeknir. He had the nerve to look affronted.
After she was gone, Latham took her place in the chair beside Solveig.
“Can I hold your hand?” he asked. The moment she nodded, he scooped up her hands in his. They were still fragile but warmer and stronger than they’d been a week ago. She returned his grip.
“I’m so sorry, Sol. You have to know that I only wanted to help. I never meant for this to happen,” he whispered. When she didn’t reply, he kept going.
“You have no idea how sorry I am. You have no idea how I’ve been tortured by the guilt and I—” She froze and yanked her hands away. The expression on her face struck terror into his heart. Her eyes were cold, and she looked every bit the ferocious general she was known to be.
“Sol, what—?” She stared at him, hard. He thought over his words and realized what he’d said.
“You know I’m not good with words. I’m sorry, Sol, I didn’t mean to .
. . I didn’t think. I just meant that every second that has gone by I have felt so guilty for what I did—on top of grieving your loss, it’s been unbearable.
” Still silence, still that unrelenting stare.
He would prefer it if she raged at him, screamed at him, anything but this defeated quiet.
“What can I do? I’ll do anything. I’m so sorry.” His voice breaking cracked the tension in the room. She slumped back to the pillows. “Sol, I—”
“Outside. Now.”
Latham jumped at the sound of Laeknir’s rough voice. He focused his attention on Solveig, but she was staring off into the distance, a shell of who she’d been. It broke Latham’s heart. He followed Laeknir out of the tent. As soon as they were out of earshot, the healer rounded on him.
“You sound like a pathetic, begging fool. Asking her for forgiveness the first chance you get.” Latham tried to speak, but Laeknir put up a hand.
“Listen to me, boy.” Even at four hundred and thirty years old, Latham felt like a witchling.
“You have no idea what atrocities she’s endured.
None of us do. So you can simper at her feet and grovel for forgiveness all you want, but the truth of the matter is this is not about you.
This is not about your feelings. She is what matters here.
You cannot force forgiveness out of her, and quite frankly, you don’t deserve it. ”
Latham glared at him. “You have no authority over me. You don’t know what I—”
Laeknir put up his hand to stop him, and Latham swore if he interrupted him again, he was going to lose it.
“Don’t be a selfish babe. If you aren’t going to be helpful to her recovery, then I will not let you back in.”
The healer walked back to the tent, Latham’s hurt and frustration boiling over. He didn’t know what to do with his pent-up energy.
He wanted to help Solveig, but he also needed her to know he was sorry. He wouldn’t stop apologizing until she forgave him. But since Laeknir wouldn’t let him in the tent if he tried again, Latham left to let off some steam.
Passing by the fighting arena only reminded him of how Solveig had bested him and led them to this mess.
He shouldn’t blame her, but if she had just let him come on the raid in the first place, none of this would’ve happened.