Chapter 30 Soul Bared
Soul bared
Abby knew what was coming. God, she knew. And she didn’t want to know. Maybe if he didn’t say the words, they could both pretend none of this ever happened and go back to the way things were before. But that wasn’t fair. Not to her, not to him…not to Dani.
She waited, heart pounding in her chest, and let the silence stretch, giving Tinker the time he needed to say what he needed to say.
“I finally got her to tell me what was going on.” His chest expanded as he inhaled deeply. “She was pregnant. I knew. I knew and I still hoped she’d tell me it was some fuckwit boy from school.”
Abby held on to her emotions by a thread when all she wanted to do was throw her head back and scream.
But this was Tinker’s story, and she needed to let him get it out.
He hadn’t looked at her in several minutes.
He stared vacantly at the far wall, and she wasn’t even sure if he was still talking to her or just talking to get it out.
“He started grooming her almost as soon as she went to live with them. She said it started with touches that lasted a little too long. Playing with her hair. Accidentally walking in on her changing or touching her chest when he was demonstrating a dance move. All things she could initially write off as accidental or innocent. He slowly ratcheted it up until there was no mistaking things. He started—”
Tinker licked his lips. “He started raping her a week after I left for Iraq.”
Abby couldn’t stop the sharp inhale of breath. “Did she ever tell anyone?”
He glanced at her quickly, then back at his feet. “She tried to tell his wife at the beginning. That bitch—” He snarled the word. “Told her that’s just the way he was. That Dani wasn’t the first and he’d get tired of her soon enough.
“That’s what sent me over the edge. The fact that she’d tried to ask for help and was told ‘he’d get tired of her eventually.’” He pushed away from the bench and began pacing. “I took her to Planned Parenthood.”
Tinker stopped, faced her, and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.
“When I got her safe, I went and found him at his dance studio and beat him until his face was nothing but a bloody pulp. I stomped on his legs so hard his kneecaps shattered. He can walk, technically. He’s not paralyzed, but he needs crutches or a wheelchair. ”
His voice was monotonous, as if he were reading from a menu. “I would have killed him, Abby. That was my intention. I wanted him dead.”
“What stopped you?” she asked softly.
“His wife walked in. Saw the blood and me wailing on him and screamed. It snapped me out of it. I realized if I went to jail for murder, Dani would always be alone.”
“What happened?”
Tinker looked down at his feet and shifted his weight back on his heels.
“I waited for the cops. Sat in one of the chairs along the wall and just waited. I sat there listening to him groaning, thinking it wasn’t enough.
I knew I was fucked. Knew I should have thought about Dani and what was going to happen to her, but all I could think was that he should’ve been dead. ”
“What did happen to her?”
“She went into the system. Too old and too much trauma to be taken in by a family so she went to a halfway house. That’s where she met Angie.”
Abby tilted her head. “Angie was a foster kid?”
Tinker nodded. “Yeah.”
“What happened after you were arrested?”
“I didn’t have money for bail, and the Marines wouldn’t accept responsibility for me initially, so I sat in jail until I found a lawyer that got me released on the condition I would be confined to base except for any court appointments.
I was put in hold status and assigned to the civil engineer detachment. ”
He walked over to the bench, sorting and arranging the tools on top. “They couldn’t redeploy me. I found out a buddy of mine was killed while on patrol. While I was emptying trash cans around the barracks.”
She could have wrapped herself in his guilt and stayed warm through the winter.
It oozed from him like an invisible sludge ready to surround and suffocate him and anyone around him.
How long had he been carrying it all? Had he ever talked to anyone?
Had anyone ever told him he didn’t have to carry it?
He turned and leaned against the bench again, crossed his arms, and went back into what she was beginning to think of as his defense pose.
“I lucked out with my lawyer. The lady was vicious. She played up the fact that I’d been called home from Iraq to find my sister in the hospital.
That I’d stepped off one battlefield and found myself in another one I shouldn’t have had to deal with.
That I was trying to support my kid sister after the death of our parents, and I’d trusted Dimitrii with Dani’s wellbeing, and he’d done the worst thing humanly possible.
“Then she went after Dimitrii. She found six former students who he’d molested and raped.
Two of them were willing to testify. That was enough.
The jury found me not guilty of the most serious charges that could have sent me to jail for twenty years.
Found me guilty of assault in the second degree and recommended probation. The judge signed off on it.”
Abby frowned. “I don’t understand. How did you end up spending eighteen months in jail if you were given probation?”
Tinker smiled sardonically. “Because after my civilian trial, the Marines took their turn.”
“How? Isn’t that double jeopardy?”
“Not under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. The military is federal, so they were able to charge me separately. Technically different charges, but for the same reason. The lawyer who handled my civilian case advised, but the military defense council had the lead since it was a military court. He recommended a judge-only trial. He knew the assigned judge had a soft spot for violence against kids. I got eighteen months, busted down to E-1—the lowest rank—and forfeiture of fifty percent of my pay for one year.”
He tucked his hands into his pockets again. “So, that’s what I did and why I did it.”
Abby assessed the man standing there. She looked past the baggy faded jeans and the black T-shirt and the tattoos. And she saw the boy he had probably been. Seventeen with the responsibility of a sister thrust on him and no idea how to navigate a world he should have been guided through.
“I have some questions, if you don’t mind answering them,” she said softly.
“I’d be surprised if you didn’t,” he said.
“When did you start working for Graham?”
Tinker straightened and frowned. He looked confused, like he hadn’t expected that to be her question.
“Twelve years ago, I think. Maybe more. I’m not sure. I’ve been with Graham and Paige since the beginning, before they were even Leonidas.”
Abby nodded. “How did you meet them?”
“In Iraq, actually.”
“Before all of this happened?” she asked.
He shook his head. “After. I couldn’t get a job anywhere with my record and my discharge.
I guess the good thing about war is companies are willing to overlook things.
I worked for a security contractor. Well…
a subcontractor, of a subcontractor, of a contractor.
I was assigned to the FOB Graham was deployed to. We got to talking one day.”
“What’s a FOB?”
“Forward Operating Base. A smaller base away from the bigger bases.”
“How can you work with VACA with a conviction?”
He nodded and took a few steps closer to her. “Graham and Paige got my record expunged and my discharge upgraded to general. I’m honestly still not sure how they managed to pull it off—I would have been happy with other than honorable.”
Abby shook her head. “I don’t know what the difference is.”
“It’s basically the difference between really bad and not so bad, but not great.
It only shows up in my military record, not any kind of background check.
Since my record was expunged, it doesn’t show up on a basic background check, which is all VACA requires.
I told Kat and Pothole about it anyway, but I don’t think they really care.
Pothole told me I’m exactly the kind of guy they want protecting kids. ”
Abby nodded again. “But, if your record was expunged, how did Olivia’s aunt get a copy of it?”
Tinker moved next to her and leaned against the wall, close enough she could feel the heat from his body.
“That’s the kicker. My record is only expunged at the state level, not the federal level. If I had to go through a full security clearance, I’d be denied because it never goes away. There are certain jobs Leonidas contracts for that I can’t do.” He shrugged. “But mostly it’s not an issue.”
“What—” Abby hesitated. “What happened to the guy? Dani’s dance teacher.”
Beside her, Tinker went rigid for several seconds. “He was charged, got three years, but ended up serving them in a state rehabilitation center. Last I heard, he’d moved back to Europe somewhere.”
That was disappointing. She’d hoped he was still in jail. Her mind wandered, not really focusing on anything in particular. Dani—she’d like to see her fight. The countless kids Tinker had helped. To what she would do if something happened to Will or Olivia.
She liked to imagine she’d go all vigilante justice and gladly spend the rest of her life in jail. Then some hotshot femme boss producer would buy the rights to her memoir and make it into an Oscar-winning movie.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, Abby,” Tinker said. “It’s a lot to deal with. I’ll understand if you need to end things between us.”
Abby took a breath and stepped in front of Tinker. “Shut up.”
He frowned and stood to his full height.
“I understand why you didn’t tell me in the beginning. I wish you had chosen to tell me yourself instead of finding out the way I did, but it is what it is.”
Tinker rested his hands on her hips. “I would have, eventually. But it’s not like I had a plan to tell you or not tell you.”
She nodded and licked her lips. She’d had a long debate with herself over the next part, but if they were going to be honest, they needed to be honest about everything.
“What I’m most upset about is the way you treated me after you realized I knew. You didn’t let me process. You shut down. You can’t throw a stink bomb into a room and then get mad when someone says it stinks.”
His mouth twitched. “I know. I just…” He looked over her head, took a deep breath, and blew it out.
“The first time I thought about getting serious with someone, I told her up front. Her revulsion was immediate. She called me a monster. Told me she wanted nothing to do with me. Dani and Angie told me it was a her problem, except it happened the next time and the next. So, I quit telling women.”
Abby’s brows pinched together. “How did that work when you got into a relationship?”
Tinker looked at her. “I haven’t been in a relationship.”