Chapter 18 Miller - Family Pizza Night #2
One of the last pictures in the row seems to be more recent, Gwen looking close to how she does now, and I pick the frame up to inspect it more closely. I recognize those lanterns…
“There’s a Tangled section in Disney World?” I ask out loud. I feel like I’d remember this if I saw it before.
I hold up the frame, and turn to Gwen who looks up from the latest swirly creation she’s created on the model she and Penelope have picked as their next victim. “What? Oh. Yeah! I mean, it’s not anything—”
“What?!” Penelope screeches, and I fear I just made a grave mistake bringing this up in front of her. She jumps up from the floor and crashes into me, yanking the frame from my hand. P then notices the rest of the pictures, and she picks up each one with awe in her eyes.
“It’s so magical,” Penelope says with so much wonder and whimsy.
Gwen scoots over to join us. She explains where she was and when each picture was taken with extreme detail, walking Penelope through “The Most Magical Place On Earth.” Penelope hangs on to every word, and before I know it, the five minutes I gave her is long since past. She’s snuggled up in one of her favorite spots, Gwen’s lap, watching Gwen flip through other photo albums that were stored behind the original pictures.
I think Gwen’s having just as much fun as P, reliving her fondest memories.
We get to learn that Gwen’s parents have some sort of timeshare with Disney that allowed them to go every year. It’s a grand family tradition for two people who didn’t seem too keen on keeping that sort of magic alive once their daughter reached adulthood, but I guess that’s not my business.
There isn’t a question of Penelope’s that Gwen can’t answer, and soon enough, P is fighting yawns and sleepy eyes.
“Hate to be the one to break up the history lesson but…” I chime in.
“When can we go to Disney, Daddy?” Penelope asks, completely ignoring my segway into making the journey back to our apartment.
I try to stifle my sigh to no avail. I have a savings account at the bank that directly deposits a small amount of my paycheck weekly to save for this specific trip, but it never feels like enough.
“As soon as we can, baby girl. I promise. But right now, we have to get home to bed.” I ruffle her head and as tired as those eyes were about five seconds ago, they still muster up the ability to send a pointed look my way.
“Just think about how special it’ll be when you do go!
” Gwen adds, clearly trying to turn this around for me.
Always the fixer. “I was just a baby when I went for the first time, so all I have are these pictures. You’ll have loads of pictures, but even more magical, you’ll have the memories.
You’ll get to cherish them forever.” There’s a longing, faraway look on her face that hits my fucking chest.
The fairy godmother-esque speech seems to work because anything Gwen says works on Penelope, and P nods with a soft smile. “That sounds nice.”
I swear I see a lightbulb go off above Gwen’s head, an idea that she must be choosing to keep a secret because the aha face disappears before I can even tilt my head in question.
Gwen helps Penelope stand from their pretzel position on the floor, photo albums and scrapbooks scattered around them. Once I hoist Penelope up and get her situated against my side, I extend my hand for Gwen so I can pull her up.
She stands and before I think of anything to stop myself, I pull her into me—into us—and P’s little arm snakes across Gwen’s back.
If I’m going to take Sawyer’s advice (which I am.
I’m uneducated, not dumb), I need to show Gwen we choose her.
And we’re gonna keep choosing her. I’m committed to the long haul of this process, but I know it’ll be worth it.
I won’t have her doubt like she did the other day ever again.
She’s the first to break apart our embrace. “Shit! I don’t have any leftovers to send you home with.”
“We’re going home to go to sleep. Gwen. It’s all good. We demolished those pizzas,” I assure her.
“I know. But you came here and this was so nice and I—I’m supposed to send you home with something!” Gwen runs to the kitchen and rummages around for probably just about anything to hand off.
I almost do it. I almost tell her she can send me home with a kiss. She set it up perfectly. But I ultimately chicken out because as much as I want to be the smooth guy, I’m a fumbling idiot.
I snatch up Penelope’s stuffed cat and head to the front door to also collect P’s shoes, because there’s no way she’s agreeing to walk to the car right now. “Gwen! Come lock this door behind us.”
I’ll wait on the other side until I hear it click. Hell, if I knew she’d say yes, I’d have her grab an overnight bag and sleep at the apartment. I’d take the couch, obviously, but I don’t like the idea of her sleeping here alone next door to that fucking asshat.
Gwen meets us in the entryway. She’s holding two clementines, a Slimjim, and a snack sized bag of pretzels. She dumps it all into one of the to-go bags she has at the cafe and holds it out for me to take, but then realizes I’ve run out of hands to carry anything else.
She flings open the closet and steps into slippers with cowboy hats on them. “I’ll walk you out.”
Penelope’s asleep before I can click the last lock on her carseat, her head lolling to the side, mouth slightly ajar. Nothing motivates this kid to sleep more than the thought of me making her march up the staircase to the apartment. Now she knows she’s guaranteed a free ride up in my arms.
Gwen is standing by the front of my car, fidgeting with her hands, when I close the back door.
“Thanks again, for coming over tonight. I really think I needed it, but I have a hard time voicing the things I need sometimes. Which is crazy because we all know I have no problem voicing a lot of other things…”
She’s still rambling away. Using those soft, pretty hands of her to get the words out. The only reason I’d ever consider taking things slow is passed out safely in the car behind me.
I cradle Gwen’s face in my hands, just like I did the other night, and she falls silent.
I hold her gaze for two seconds, just enough time for one blink, giving her this moment to object if she really wants to, to see if she really meant it when she said this couldn’t happen again.
But thank mother fucking God she doesn’t because I capture her lips with my own, and she doesn’t hesitate to meet me.
Kissing Gwen is like waking up on the first day of summer. It’s warm and inviting and feels like a new beginning. The sparks I felt from brushes of touch before can’t hold a candle to the fireworks that feel like they’re popping off in my head.
The outside world ceases to exist when her fingers entangle in the curls that brush the back of my neck.
I press my forehead into hers during the come down, knowing we’re standing in the middle of her driveway and at some point we have to separate, as much as that’s the opposite of what I want. I need to say this now before I lose the courage.
“I feel like we keep getting our wires crossed. We spend so much time together and talk about everything except the thing that might make us better because we’re scared. Well, at least I know I am. I want you, Gwen. Real bad.”
She shakes her head against mine, eyes still closed. “Miller,” she starts.
“If you’re objecting because you really think we’re meant to just be friends, I’ll hear you out. But if it’s not that, I’m asking you to trust me.”
“I trust you,” she whispers. Three words that make me feel like I could fucking fly.
“Good. That’s good. So, here’s the plan—”
Those pretty eyes fly open. “You have a plan?”
I kiss her freckled forehead and pull away slightly. “Okay, so I don’t have a plan plan. But, I’m gonna get this kid home to bed, and then I’m gonna call you. We still have to finish Accepted, so we can sync up and watch it together until you fall asleep…if you want.”
Was that really stupid? Do people even do weird shit like that in real life, or am I projecting some false idea of dating from TV shows? Damn, I need more real life experience.
If I made myself a fool with that suggestion, Gwen doesn’t let it show because she’s beaming. She nods her head repeatedly with excitement. “I want. I mean, oh my God, I sound like a cavewoman. Yes, I want that very much.”
“It’s a date, Gwendolyn.” I kiss her one more time, enjoying the feel of her smiling through it a whole lot.
“Drive safe!” she calls when I get into the car.
I roll the window down to respond. “Always do. Precious cargo back there.” I hook my thumb to the backseat like a doofus.
I’m gonna woo the fuck out of that woman. As soon as I figure out what wooing someone actually means.