Chapter 23 Miller - Yes, ma’am
Gwen directs me upstairs, saying she has to take care of something in the kitchen, and she’ll be up in a minute. I climb the staircase with the throw blanket wrapped around my waist and peer into each room along the hall until I find the door that’s hers. Of course it’s the last one.
Gwen’s bedroom is just about as perfect as I expected it to be. The floors are a dark and worn hardwood, covered with rugs of all different shapes and sizes. Some overlap others, and it doesn’t seem like there was a method to laying them down, but it somehow works.
Her bed, which is absolutely without a doubt bigger than mine, sits against the back wall in between two windows that must overlook her backyard. There’s a good six or seven empty and half-filled water bottles on one nightstand while the other has a single book on it.
I walk over and pick it up to find it’s the book of affirmations I gave her. I return it to its spot with a smile on my face. I sit on the edge of the bed, unsure what I should be doing.
I didn’t bring any clothes or a toothbrush or literally anything else. I didn’t even grab my phone downstairs before heading up here. Actually, that’s irresponsible. I need to go get that.
I crash into Gwen in the doorway and step back a few steps, falling into her closet door I didn’t realize was right there, like an idiot.
“Shit! Sorry!” I yell.
Gwen dumps the tray of snacks and drinks she brought up on the cushioned bench she has at the end of her bed. When she looks up at me her eyes go wide. “You’re good! You’re fine! Everything’s cool!” she says in a high pitched voice, slamming the closet door shut.
She’s definitely acting weird, but I overlook that when I see she ditched the majority of her clothes. I don’t know if the scrap of fabric that’s left covering her bottom half constitutes clothing. Those silver arrows pierced through her nipples are holding almost every bit of my attention.
The way her body responded when I flicked my tongue across them. The way her breath hitched. I want to learn every single way she reacts to every single kind of touch.
I step into her space, ignoring the pain in the back of my head from its connection with the edge of the door.
“Is your head okay?” Gwen asks, reaching up and brushing my hair out of my face.
“Gwen, I don’t give a fuck about my head,” I say before pulling her into me. We pick up where we left off earlier, and I palm her now bare ass with both hands.
The blanket falls, and I walk us back until Gwen’s calves hit the side of the bed. She falls into the mattress, and my lips continue their mission to learn every inch of this woman’s body.
She shimmies up to the head of the bed, and I follow, hovering over her.
I kiss her mouth and her jaw, stopping to nip and suck on the side of her neck.
I let one of my hands play with her nipple, testing out pinching and rubbing it between two of my fingers.
Gwen’s shallow breaths and mews lead me to believe I’m doing something right.
It’s when I toy with the metal bar with my tongue that her hips press into me. “Miller, oh my God, that feels good.”
My hand drifts over the plane of her stomach, inching lower until I reach the lace covering her pussy. She wasn’t lying, the material is soaked.
“Can I?” I ask with a voice shakier than I intended.
Gwen’s hand snakes under mine, pulling the tiny thong to the side. My hand moves with hers as she starts to slowly rub featherlike circles around her clit. “You can. But does it help if I show you, too?”
I can’t take my eyes off our two hands moving together. I don’t even think I’m breathing, but I nod so Gwen at least knows I can hear her. I just don’t have the capacity to speak right now.
She moves faster, pressing harder into herself, and her wetness coats our fingers. My middle finger slides into her, and she moans. Gwen plays with her clit in tandem with me gliding in and out of her, following her to keep pace.
“Another,” she breathes. “Please.” My index finger enters her, too, while I keep my thumb on the top of her hand.
I can’t take my eyes off her.
With her hair cascading across the pillow and the light from the moon shining in from the window, Gwen looks like a fucking dream right now.
I keep fucking her with my fingers, coaxing every noise I can out of her.
I thought she sucked the life out of me earlier, but I’m hard again seeing her like this.
“You’re perfect. I’ve told you that right?” I ask after she lets loose a cry louder than the last.
“Once or twice,” she answers, breathless. I find a rhythm and feel her pulse around me. “Yes, just like that.”
Her fingers leave her clit, and before I can gather what she’s doing, I feel her hand wrap around my cock. She uses the wetness from her pussy to coat me, pumping me until I’m panting along with her.
“Fucking hell,” I say before kissing Gwen deeply.
“You’re gonna come with me, okay, baby?” she whispers.
She’s been calling me baby all night. It’s sick how much I love it.
“Yes, ma’am.” I nip at her neck, not caring if it leaves a mark.
“God, why was that hot?” she asks.
I drag the tip of my tongue up to the spot right under Gwen’s ear, knowing it drives her fucking crazy. When I test out curling my fingers inside her slightly, I feel her muscles tense.
“Miller!” Gwen cries. Her back arches and as impossible as it would seem to be able to do so, she gets even tighter around my fingers.
I keep moving them in and out while she comes.
Her orgasm triggers mine. I don’t even have the chance to grab something—anything.
I coat Gwen’s stomach with my release. It jets up across her breasts, and before I can start the apology tour of the fucking century…
I see Gwen smile.
It’s a devilish grin that I’ll have burned into my memory for the rest of time. I’m more than sure of it.
When she releases me and drags her finger up the middle of her torso, stopping to swirl my come around each nipple, I see stars. I slowly slide my fingers out of her pussy and do the only thing that feels right.
I suck both of them into my mouth, savoring the taste.
I move to get up, to get something to clean up the mess I made. But Gwen pushes me to the side, causing me to fall onto the bed next to her. “Sor—”
She cuts me off. “Do not fucking say sorry right now, Caswell.”
“It’s just—I—”
Gwen sits up and grabs a T-shirt off the floor. She wipes my come off herself as she says, “You can’t apologize for something I like. I like that I made you come, twice. I like that you couldn’t help yourself, that you had to finish, in me, on me. It’s hot. I’m into it.”
“Oh.” I think I blacked out again because she didn’t just…
“Great. Now you think I’m sick in the head or something.” Gwen moves to get up, and I grab her wrist, holding her in place.
“I need you to not leave me right now and just listen, okay?” I pull her into me until her back is flush with my chest.
She gives me a harumph and presses her ass into me. I rethink my take things slow plan for a second but shake it off. I push her hair to the side so I can see her face.
“I don’t have a fucking clue on what I’m doing, Gwen.
I’m following your lead here. But I want you to feel respected and as beautiful as I see you, inside the bedroom and out.
If you’re telling me you have a kinky side, I’m fucking here for it.
But I don’t know where the line is. So yeah, I was trying to say sorry for coming on your tits.
But if you liked it…well, then, I’m not sorry and thank you. ” I kiss the top of her head.
“Oh my God, can you say kinky side again?” She giggles.
I grab the comforter and wrap it around us, snuggling closer to her, if that’s even possible.
“Shut up. It’s time to sleep. Goodnight.
” I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting off the embarrassment of my inexperience, grateful as fuck that Gwen doesn’t seem to care.
I’m kind of obsessed with the fact that we can play with each other like this.
She wiggles until I loosen my arms around her. “No way, I’m showering and eating. You are, too. Come on, up you go.” Gwen stands and holds her hand out until I grab it, pulling myself up.
We do exactly as she says. We shower and take turns washing each other’s hair.
I learn that not only is her bed bigger, but her towels are softer, too.
I find my discarded T-shirt and boxers to throw on.
Gwen puts reruns of a 90s sitcom on while we sit up in her bed, eating the chips and salsa and chocolate cake from the cafe she brought up earlier.
We brush our teeth side by side after I thank her for the extra toiletries she had stashed in the cabinet. I look at the two of us standing in the mirror and think about how far off this version of life felt only months ago.
Gwen falls asleep first. Before dozing off myself, I sneak downstairs to grab my phone, I find hers next mine and grab it to plug both in upstairs. Before I reach the staircase, I check the lock on the front door, flicking off the porch light on my way by.
These are small things I could find myself getting used to quickly, but I push that thought away, knowing how fast it could all come crashing down, knowing the damage Caswell men seem to cause everywhere they go. I then shake that thought, too.
I’m not my father, I repeat until I finally close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
Daylight breaks before I’m ready to open my eyes. But when I do…
It feels like the world stops.
Gwen fell asleep with her head on my chest and my arms wrapped around her, and I thought the view couldn’t get more perfect, but I’ll admit right now, I was wrong.
The last time we were in this position, I was scrambling for a way out of it in fear I was somehow messing up Penelope and didn’t get to savor the sight that’s Gwen in the morning light.
But now I can’t look away. I don’t want to look away.