Chapter 25 Miller - Put a ring on it
Sawyer Hale
Hey man, you able to swing by the riverside today? Got something I wanna run by you
That’s a very vague text. I shoot Sawyer a reply, letting him know I can stop over before I snag P from school in a little bit. He thumbs ups my message without further explanation.
Huh. Weird.
I pocket my phone and continue cleaning up my work inbox. I set up in one of the back booths at the cafe, stealing glances and quick touches from the pretty girl running the show behind the counter.
Beginning of December is busy season at the bank, with everyone withdrawing new bills for gifts and depositing money to spend. The mass influx of customers causes our systems to sometimes go haywire. It’s a lot of work for the IT department as a whole.
But I’m just thankful I’m not one of the tellers. I feel for them, I really do. They’re out there on the front lines fighting off Karens and Debbie Downers, trying to keep spirits high, while all I have to do is click away until the tech fixes its shit.
My eyes find Gwen chatting it up with a customer while Chris gets to work on their order. As…odd as that kid is, he’s not a bad addition to the environment here at Red’s.
Gwen’s wearing this sweater dress that hugs every inch of her, and I’ve thought no less than ten times about stripping it off of her. It hits right below her knees, and she’s got those cute as fuck ankle boots click clacking around.
She winks at me without missing a beat of her conversation, and I feel like the luckiest nerd in the whole Goddamn world.
Have we put a title on things? Nope. Have I worked up the courage to have a conversation with my daughter about the future of the Caswell family going from two to three? Also no. And I’m ashamed of that.
But the last couple weeks have been filled with unspoken glimpses into everything that’s to come.
What’s funny is that beside the fact that there’s a lot more kissing and touching when P isn’t in the room, not much else has changed with our dynamic.
We’ve been in each other's orbits comfortably for months.
I’m embracing the idea of natural change. Turning over a new leaf, or whatever.
Gwen slides into the booth across from me, pushing a fresh cup of coffee onto my side. She does this every hour, on the hour. I’m pretty sure there’s such a thing as caffeine overconsumption but, I’m not turning down a thing from this woman.
“Have I told you how much I don’t want to go to this thing tonight?” Gwen asks. Her forehead hits the table.
“Yeah, but you can tell me again. I don’t mind.” I don’t. I’d listen to her read the owner’s manual to a kitchen appliance.
“I wish I could just tell them no.”
“I mean…” I start.
She holds up a hand. “Don’t say it.”
“No. Sorry, beautiful. You need to hear this. You can, and you should say no. Merrymount’s Blueberry Festival Committee will survive you bowing out this year, or permanently, if it would make you happy.”
She lifts her head slightly, letting only her chin now rest on the table. She has the most adorable pout on her face. “It would make me happy. But then I’d think about how many people I’d be letting down. That would make me sad. It’s a sick cycle.”
I reach out until she offers me her hand, and I take it in mine. “Gwendolyn, you’re letting yourself down by pulling yourself in every direction for everyone else. Come on, tell me one thing you want to do just for yourself.”
Her response practically falls out of her mouth. “I want you to fuck me.”
How do you say asdfghjkl out loud? Because that’s what my brain just did. I picked the wrong time to take a sip of my coffee because it takes everything in me to not accidentally spit it right in Gwen’s face.
“I’m sorry!” She laughs as she pulls the mug out of my hand to move it away from me. “It was the first thing that came to mind! I’m not pressuring you, I swear!”
I dab my mouth with the napkin and slide my hand down my face. “Oh God, please don’t be sorry. That’s just embarrassing.”
“Miller, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m fine with taking things slow.”
That’s the thing, I’m not, not anymore. But I also don’t want the first time I’m inside her to have to be hushed behind closed doors, or ending with having to say goodbye almost immediately afterwards. Piecing sex into a lifestyle that went so long without it is complicated as hell.
I’ve been meaning to talk to Margot about a sleepover with Penelope.
I’ve been meaning to tell Gwen how I feel, more than just telling her I have a crush on her.
I’ve been meaning to do a lot of things, and apparently as smooth as things feel like they’re sailing, I’m still falling short. Like always.
My dad’s rants about how much of a disappointment I am ring in my head, and I actively work to tune it all out. I need to figure my shit out.
I grab her hand again. “Believe me, I’m right there with you. I just want it to be right.”
“No, I get it. I mean it, I have no timeline. I’m perfectly content with the way things are.”
“No you’re not, don’t do that. Don’t treat me like everyone else, placating me to keep me happy.”
“That’s not fair, that’s not what this is—”
“I’m asking Margot and Sawyer to take Penelope for the night this weekend.” Like I said, I’ve been meaning to ask. I’m going to see Sawyer in a little bit anyway for whatever the hell he wants to talk about. It all works out.
Gwen flusters, but recovers quickly. “Well, that’s great! She’ll love time with her aunt and uncle. I think that’s a great idea.”
“Mhm,” I hum. “So, that’s handled. Now, quit the committee.”
“I can’t just quit—”
“You can. You should. And you will.” I try to leave little room for argument.
“Don’t use your daddy voice on me,” Gwen teases.
“Why?” I lean in, lowering my voice. “Is it working?”
She slumps back in the booth and grumbles, avoiding eye contact. “Maybe…”
“I’m not saying completely change your ways.
You’re Gwendolyn Bozelli. You can still help out with the festival.
It’s town tradition and all that, I get it.
But stepping away from this whole committee thing gives you the chance to help when you want to, not all of the time just because you have to. ”
Do I selfishly want more time with her? Yeah, no shit. But this whole volunteer and work herself to death thing has got to stop at some point for her own well being.
I watch Gwen mull it over. I can see the gears in that pretty head of hers turning. She’s weighing her options and her feelings with any outcome. My girl’s a planner, and when I see the defeated shake of her head and smirk, I know I won this battle.
It takes everything in me to not fist pump right now.
“Judy is going to be so pissed.” She chuckles.
“You employ her precious grandson and host her inappropriate book club. She’ll live. Plus, think of all the extra time you’ll get to spend with your favorite person now.”
“You’re so right. Penelope and I are going to have a blast,” she teases.
“I walked into that one.” I sigh. “I gotta go meet Sawyer. He wants to talk to me about something.” I start to collect my belongings that have scattered across the table.
Gwen’s jaw practically falls off. “About what? Is everything okay? Oh my God, do you think Margot’s pregnant?” She whispers the last question, lifting her ass off the bench to lean into me.
“What?” I ask, shocked. “No. I think you’d be the one to know that first.” I stand, slinging my laptop’s backpack over one shoulder. I hold out my hand for Gwen to take hold of before standing. I kiss her, not caring who sees.
“You have a point,” she says into my mouth. “Well, keep me posted. I’m gonna go rip the bandaid off with Jude, then probably catch up on some paperwork.”
“You got any plans tonight?” I joke.
She rolls her eyes, but drops the act when she plants another fat kiss on me. Yeah, I’ll be seeing her later.
I pull up to Rivers River and park my car next to Sawyer’s Jeep. It doesn’t take me long to find him, seeing as he’s pacing the front porch of the main cabin.
This whole place is sick. I plan to spend a lot more time here next summer with P. The fact that Beth and her husband created this whole business and life from nothing is just fucking incredible. The security of being able to pass down something so solid and real is inspiring.
“Hey!” I call out.
Sawyer stops and quickly drops the hand he had rubbing the back of his neck. “Miller! You came!”
“Uh, you did text me, right? Like, you meant today?” Jeez, I wasn’t nervous before, but with the way he’s acting and Gwen’s reaction to me just mentioning this whole thing, I’m at least a little worried now.
Sawyer shakes his head. “Yeah, bud. Sorry, I did. I’m just—Do you want a beer?” He gestures inside.
“Normally I would.” I’m lying, I hardly drink. “But I've gotta get Penelope from school.”
“Shit. Yeah. I knew that. Uh, you wanna take a walk with me?” He steps off the porch and starts heading towards one of the trails marked with a green arrow without confirmation that I plan on following him.
There hasn’t been any early snowfall this year so while it’s cold as shit, I guess everything is still open to use.
Glad that I’m wearing my leather jacket, I jog a little to catch up. “Alright, tell me what’s going on.”
“Nothing’s going on,” Sawyer sputters.
“Dude, why the hell am I here?!” I don’t mean to yell, but a group of birds that were perched in a tree scatter to the winds.
Sawyer twists around to face me. “I’m asking Margot to marry me!”
Woah.
“Holy shit,” I say. I stop and stare out at the river. The edge is littered with fallen leaves, bare branches sticking up this way and that. A shiver goes down my back at even the thought of getting near that freezing water.
“Yeah,” Sawyer breathes. He stands beside me, taking in the same view.
“I know it’s crazy, and I know it’s fast, but she’s it for me.
So, I thought, why wait?” When I turn and see the smile on his face and the look in his eyes, I know it would be hard for even the world’s biggest cynic to muster up an argument.
I know I don’t know Sawyer and haven’t been around a long time, but the change in him since Margot came crashing into his life is obvious.
Everyone sees it. Everyone comments on it.
It was like she brought him back to life.
I’m so unbelievably happy for them, and I feel lucky to get to watch it all play out. But—
“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. This is awesome. But, uh, what’d you need me for?”
If I thought it was impossible for Sawyer to look even more like he was going to puke, I would have been wrong. This is a guy who is always sure of himself, the one making the decisions, and calling the shots. He looks beyond lost right now.
He finally shrugs his shoulders. “You’re…
fuck, I don’t know how to say this.” He straightens himself out.
“Look, I didn’t ask you to come here to ask for your permission.
On account of the fact that I’m sure Margot would slap me upside the head if she knew I was asking anyone else besides her if it was okay to propose.
But you’re her brother, and it’s important to me.
So, I’m asking her to marry me, and I hope I have your blessing. ”
“Are you kidding?” I laugh. “Fuck yeah, you have my blessing, Sawyer,” I clap him on the shoulder, “I’m new to all of this–having family, friends, people who look out for each other with no strings attached. I feel so lucky every day that Penelope and I get to be included. Please marry my sister.”
There are a lot of emotions coming to the surface right now, and crying in front of my soon-to-be brother-in-law is not something I’m on board with. I’m touched, I’m honored. To know that Sawyer thinks so highly of me means a lot. But I can’t look like a fucking dweeb in front of him.
Sawyer’s sigh of relief could probably be heard from the next town over. “Dude…thanks. I’ve been stressing about this for weeks.”
“Weeks?” I ask, surprised. Not surprised he’s been planning this for some time now, I mean, that makes sense with needing to coordinate a ring and all of that. But why the hell would he need to work up the courage to talk to me?
“Yeah. Truthfully, I would have gotten down on one knee before the summer ended. But there was a lot going on with…Well, you know what was going on. And then I got in my head about what you or Melanie would say. She’s ecstatic, by the way.
” Sawyer’s grin reaches ear to ear. “Talked to her while she was here for Thanksgiving. But you’re a dad.
You’re responsible and serious. I didn’t want you thinking… I dunno.”
“I would have been on board from the jump. I am. No question about it.”
Sawyer pulls me in for one of those movie style bro hugs where he claps me so hard on the back, I think my fucking spine cracks. “Brothers!” he yells.
Thankful as hell that I don’t have to continue further into the woods, we head back to the cabin.
Gus meets us outside while Sawyer shows me his mother’s ring he’s proposing with.
I don’t know anything about jewelry aside from the plastic stuff Penelope picks out and the ring I wear for her, but this is really nice.
It’s a simple gold band with one oval shaped diamond. Margot’s going to love it.
Sawyer fills me in on the plan, it’s all going down Christmas Eve. I ask if they have plans this weekend, and when I tell him why I’m asking, he has Margot on the phone in seconds. Her squeals of delight loud and clear.
Damn, what a day.