Chapter 1 #2
On the other side of the hall, Emilie’s door pulled me in like a magnet.
I reached for the handle and wasn’t surprised to feel it turn in my grasp.
The perks of being a Castelli—this castle was enchanted to allow me access to any room I desired, including Emilie’s.
I’d never used it to my advantage so selfishly, but tonight felt like a good time to break my honorable streak.
Slowly, I pushed the door open, then quietly closed it behind me.
It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, but once they did, I found Emilie in her bed, surrounded by a thin silver canopy that glistened in the moonlight.
I inhaled a sharp breath as I watched her toss and turn, first on her stomach, then to her back with an arm slung over her forehead.
It was just as I imagined she would be, with blankets pushed aside and her nightgown skewed and hanging off one shoulder.
Neither of us was adjusting well. Even though we weren’t together romantically—her wishes, not mine—she still managed to find me every day so we could just exist together.
No one else understood. They didn’t understand how impossible it was to carry on with everyday life.
But with Emilie, I didn’t have to explain my hurt and she didn’t have to hide hers. There was comfort in her presence.
From her place in the tangled-up sheets, she let out a small whimper. It was all I needed to bolt to her side.
Crawling into bed beside her, I reached for her hand and pulled it away from her face. “Emilie,” I whispered.
Her eyelids squeezed tighter, and her forehead wrinkled.
“Emilie,” I said again, brushing my hand over her sweat-dampened hair.
She stirred and, without opening her eyes, one hand reached for me and grazed my bare chest. Then she rolled toward me, her breathing erratic. Her nightmares were just as frequent as my own.
I cupped her face. “Emilie, love. Open your eyes.”
She ceased her restless movement and slowly opened her eyes. She still wasn’t seeing me, though. Her face was etched with confusion as her hand rose to my face. She traced my skin with curiosity.
“I’m real, princess.” Gently, I laced my fingers with hers and waited for her to move past the midway point between sleep and consciousness. I knew she had when she pressed her body against mine and inhaled sharply.
“What are you doing here?”
My shoulders lifted with a small shrug. “I’m here for you.”
She released her hold on me and leaned back, allowing me to see the uncertainty in her eyes. Though her room was dark, the moonlight was enough to paint her skin a milky blue, stars shimmering in her large hazel eyes.
She licked her lips, drawing my gaze there, and I tried not to think too hard about the last time I’d kissed them. It hadn’t been that long ago. She had become my addiction during captivity, and the withdrawal was unbearable.
Damn Emilie and her ridiculous yearning to do the right thing.
As if she could read my thoughts, she pulled back. Resolve replaced her confusion. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“But I am.”
She let a smile slip through, and my lips curved upward in response. Her body language and expressions spoke louder than any words she’d ever used.
Her fingers found their way back to my chest, drawing crooked lines down the length of my skin, ending just above my pajamas. She sighed and stared at me wistfully.
“Tell me something honest,” I said, needing to know what was going on inside that magnificent mind of hers.
“I’m thinking about who we would’ve been if we were never forced to be together. Do you think we would’ve found our way to each other?”
The thought made me uncomfortable—that there was a world in which she and I hadn’t had the chance to fall in love.
Where she’d married my brother and neither of us had been the wiser that such strong chemistry existed between us.
She would’ve borne his heirs, and I would’ve lived the bachelor life until the end of my days.
Maybe I would’ve grown out of my hatred for her…
or maybe I would’ve forever held a grudge against the woman who walked into Renoa like she owned the place.
I smiled at that first memory of her—so confident and optimistic. I’d been mistaken in my assumption that she was arrogant and flighty. She was simply a woman who knew exactly what she wanted and what she brought to the table.
Would I want to relive our time in captivity? Gods, no. But if it was the only option that led me to her…
No. I refused to believe that the only path to our happiness was through Reyna. Fuck that and fuck her.
Holding her tight, I said, “I would’ve found you in a hundred lifetimes.”
She shook her head, and I could’ve sworn I saw her eyes roll. “You’re so confident that you would’ve found me. What about me finding you?”
I pretended to consider this. “Hmm. Perhaps I’ll leave, then, and wait for you to find me in my bed.”
Emilie bit her lip, her eyes bouncing between mine. Gods, I’d never get over this feeling. This need to breathe the same air as her. To share every thought and impulse like she was an extension of me.
Reaching down, she pulled the blanket up around her shoulders and tucked it under her chin. I cursed the fabric that now separated us. But maybe it was a sign that I should return to my own bed and wait until she was ready.
I sighed and edged closer to the side of the mattress. But before my feet hit the floor, Emilie’s hand closed around my wrist. Turning back, I found her gazing at me with hungry, lustful eyes.
Why were we waiting again?
There wasn’t a single part of me that wanted to keep our feelings a secret. My mother already knew. Anyone else was inconsequential. The only other person who mattered was Cyrus, and he would know the second he woke up. I’d make sure of it myself.
“Why are you here?” Emilie asked again.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
She nodded, unsurprised. Then she lifted her blanket, making space for me to slip in beside her, and I wasted no time doing so. Her bed was soft and warm, just like her skin, and she happily melted into my embrace when I pulled her against me—back where we belonged.
Immediately, I felt at ease. It was odd how safe she made me feel. How comfortable I was around her. Not more than an hour ago, I’d been plagued with nightmares and anxious thoughts, but with Emilie, my muscles relaxed and my mind cut to more pleasant sentiments.
I tensed whenever anyone else touched me, whether it be a handshake or a pat on the back. My own mother couldn’t hug me without summoning memories of a time when my body wasn’t my own. Emilie’s touch was the only one I could stomach. The only touch that didn’t make me want to scrub my skin raw.
Brushing her hair aside, I placed a gentle kiss on her temple. Her body tensed for half a second, and I knew she was waiting to see if I’d push further. If I’d ignore her request to keep our relationship platonic until Cyrus awoke.
But I wasn’t going to test the boundary—not tonight, at least. I just wanted to be with her and feel her presence. She relaxed again as I ran a hand down her back, nuzzling her head between my neck and shoulder.
For a second, I thought I felt her lips graze my throat, but it was hard to tell with her delicate precision. Maybe I’d just imagined it.
My eyes began to weigh heavily, and I welcomed the pressure of Emilie’s chest against mine, her head tucked under my chin, her hand wrapped around my back. I waited until I heard her steady, heavy breathing before allowing myself to doze off.
With her, like this, everything was right in the world.