Chapter 12
Esme
I watch as Duske heads toward the car, his movements way more stiff than usual, like he's holding himself together by sheer force of will.
He opens the door and slides into the driver's seat, his eyes closing as he takes a deep breath.
I can see the tension radiating off him, the way his shoulders are tight and his jaw is clenched.
He's trying to calm himself down, trying to push back whatever darkness is threatening to spill over.
I move to sit in the front seat, or at least I try to.
It's more like floating around in the area, my form hovering over the seat rather than actually sitting on it.
It's weird, this whole ghost thing, and I'm still not used to it.
I can see the seat beneath me, see the leather and the way it curves, but I can't feel it.
I can't feel anything except the strange sensation of being suspended in space.
"You're in here, right?" Duske asks, his words barely above a whisper.
"Yeah," I say, my voice coming out a little breathless. "I really don't know what happened. Do I have ghost powers now? They're quite inconvenient. I thought I was going to get fucked, and then I had to see my nasty sister again."
Duske shakes his head, the Alpha chuckling as he starts the car. "I'm not sure what happened, but I think your tether to the house snapped after we took you to the store this morning."
I frown, trying to process his words. My mind is still reeling from the sudden shift, from being in the living room with Vesper and Milo to being in the restaurant with Duske. "What does that mean?"
"I think your tether is now us, and I couldn't tell you if that's a good or a bad thing."
I grin, even though he can't see it. The thought of being tethered to them, to Duske and Vesper and Milo, makes something warm bloom in my chest. "Well, I don't mind that at all."
The words barely leave my mouth before a desperate whine tears from my throat, completely unexpected. I slap a hand over my mouth, my eyes widening in shock. What the hell was that? It sounded like an animal, like something primal and needy, and it came from me.
"Baby girl, what's wrong?" Duske asks, an urgent edge to his tone.
He reaches over to the seat, his hand searching for me, but his fingers pass through nothing.
I'm not solid enough for him to touch, not in this form.
I watch as his hand moves through the space where I'm hovering, and the frustration on his face is clear.
I try to breathe through the sudden heat coursing through my veins, but it's overwhelming.
It feels like I'm on fire, every nerve ending in my body screaming for relief.
My skin is too tight and too hot, and I can feel my heart racing in my chest. And then there's the slick, coating my panties, making me squirm in discomfort.
It's warm and wet, and I hate how needy it makes me feel.
"I think it's another heat spike," I manage to say, my voice shaking. "But you can't touch me like this. Duske, I can't do this again. How do I get visible?”
I reach forward, trying to cling to him, but my hands pass right through his body.
It's like trying to grab smoke, my fingers finding nothing but air.
A cramp tears through my belly, radiating out from my core and making me double over.
I cry out, tears streaming down my face.
This is worse than before, so much worse.
At least with Vesper, I could feel him, could hold onto him as he worked me through it.
But now I'm alone, untouchable, and the pain is unbearable.
"Fuck, just hold on for a little bit, okay?" Duske says, his voice tight with barely controlled emotion. He takes off down the street, the car accelerating as he weaves through traffic. I can see the tension in his shoulders, the way his jaw clenches, and I realize he's affected by my whines.
My gaze drops to his cock thickening between his thighs, straining against his pants, the outline of it pressing against the fabric. He's fighting for control, trying to keep himself together while I fall apart beside him.
I try to reach for him again, desperate for any kind of contact, but my hands slip through him like smoke. Another desperate whine tears from my throat, louder this time.
I can feel the heat building, pooling low in my belly and spreading through my limbs. My thighs are slick with it, my body aching and empty and needing something I can't have.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, my voice breaking. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologize," Duske says, his voice rough and strained. "Just hold on. We're almost there."
The drive feels like an eternity, every second stretching out as the heat builds and builds inside me.
I'm a mess, and I hate it. I hate feeling this out of control, this desperate.
Another cramp hits me, and I curl in on myself, trying to breathe through it.
But it's hard, so hard, a wave of fresh tears streaming down my face.
Finally, we pull up to the house, and Duske is out of the car in seconds. He stands by the door, his chest heaving as he looks in my direction, even though I know he can't see me. His dark eyes are searching, trying to find me in the space around him.
"I need you upstairs, sweetheart," he pushes out. "Upstairs, and I can help you. We can't do this shit out here."
I frown, trying to focus through the haze of heat clouding my mind. "What shit?"
Duske's expression darkens, and I can see the struggle in his eyes. There's something he's not telling me, something he's afraid of. "The only way I can get to you is in my other form, and as much as I don't want you to see that, hearing you in pain hurts. Can you get upstairs, Esme?"
I nod, even though he can't see me. My voice comes out small and shaky. "Yeah, yes, good."
I flit up the stairs, my form moving faster than I expected.
It's like floating, like being carried by an invisible current, and I'm in my room before I even realize I've moved.
I can hear Vesper and Milo downstairs, their voices urgent as they ask what's going on.
Duske's response is clipped, his tone leaving no room for argument.
"She's having another spike, but she's not in this plane. Don't come upstairs."
I reach my room, my body trembling as another wave of heat crashes over me.
It's relentless, pulsing through me in waves that make my knees weak.
I try to pull off my clothes, my fingers fumbling with the fabric of my shirt, but they pass right through.
I let out a frustrated sob, my hands shaking as I try again and again, but it's no use.
I can't touch anything, can't do anything to ease the discomfort.
The fabric clings to my skin, damp with sweat, and I want it off. I need it off.
I sink down onto the floor, or at least I think I do. It's hard to tell when I can't feel the ground beneath me. Another cramp hits me, and I double over, wrapping my arms around my stomach as I try to breathe through it.
And then Duske steps inside my room, the Alpha letting out a heavy sigh. I look up at him, my vision blurry with tears, the conflict clear on his face. He's standing in the doorway, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, and he looks like he's waging an internal war with himself.
"Dove, I wish we had more time for me to explain everything," he says, his voice soft and almost apologetic.
I shake my head, my breath coming in short, desperate gasps. "Fuck me first, and we can talk later, okay? Please, I promise I won't be scared of you, but it's starting to hurt, and I just…"
I trail off, another whine tearing from my throat. The heat is consuming me, burning me from the inside out, and I need relief. I need him.
Duske swallows nervously, and I watch as he takes a deep breath.
The room darkens, the shadows in the corners stretching and twisting, dancing around us like they're alive.
They move with a life of their own, reaching toward us, wrapping around the furniture and the walls.
The temperature drops, just slightly, and I can feel the shift in the air.
I gasp, my eyes widening as I watch Duske transform.
He's just a man in front of me one minute, dressed in his perfectly tailored black suit, and then an entirely different presence the next.
The suit is gone, replaced by leather that clings to his body like a second skin.
He still looks mostly human, but there are differences that make my breath catch.
His eyes are fully black, no whites, no pupils, just endless darkness staring back at me.
The sight should be terrifying, but it's not.
It's mesmerizing. Talons extend from his fingers, and two fully formed horns appear on his head, curving back elegantly.
He gives a small smile, and I see jagged, sharp teeth and a forked tongue like Milo's.
His tail swishes behind him, thicker than Milo and Vesper's, and just as intriguing.
I push to my feet and step closer, my breath catching in my throat. This is Duske, the real Duske, the Grim Reaper in all his glory. And he's beautiful. Terrifying and beautiful and everything I never knew I needed.
And then I fall into his chest, relief flooding through me as I feel him.
Solid and real beneath my touch, his arms coming up to wrap around me, holding me close.
I bury my face in his leather-clad chest, inhaling his scent.
Rum and night air, familiar and comforting, wrapping around me like a blanket.
The heat of him seeps into my skin, easing some of the ache.
"For the record," I say, my voice muffled against his chest, "I'm not scared of you. I like this version, maybe even a little bit more than the other one."
Duske laughs, the sound low and rich, the vibration of it rumbling against my cheek. His hand comes up to cradle the back of my head, his talons threading through my hair with surprising gentleness. "Let's take care of you first, and then I'm going to explain a few things."
I pull back just enough to look up at him, my blue eyes meeting his fully black ones. There's so much I want to say, so many questions I want to ask, but right now, none of that matters. Right now, I just need him. "Sounds ominous. Let's do it."