Chapter 9 Attention I Can’t Afford
By Wednesday it was clear Jackson had no intention of backing off.
I liked my usual seat in Environmental Science, territorial seating, Professor Sterling had called it once, and when I walked in he was already there, leaning back with one arm stretched across the empty chair beside him. My chair. Waiting.
I dropped my bag into a new seat two rows over, harder than necessary. My cat flicked her tail, entertained. Three seconds later a chair scraped and Jackson abandoned his seat, dropping into the one beside me. He leaned in close enough for his warmth to brush my skin.
“You avoiding me?”
“I don’t even know you.”
“Not yet.”
My grip tightened on my pen. “Let's keep it that way.”
A faint pause. “We'll see about that.”
I ignored that and opened my notebook. Across the hall, quiet voices started up. I heard every word.
“He moved again.”
“Does he actually like her?”
My expression stayed flat while I pretended to organize my notes.
A moment later three wolves came down the row and stopped beside Jackson. I had seen them before, always orbiting him in the cafeteria, on the track, between classes. The usual circle that followed the alpha’s son wherever he went.
My cat went alert the second they got close. Finally, a normal reaction to wolves. At least she was not completely broken.
“Man, I still can’t believe you signed up for this class,” the shorter guy said, nudging him. “Since when do you care about soil composition?”
“I have varied interests,” Jackson said.
The other guy snorted. “You have one interest, and she’s sitting right next to you.”
Jackson did not react. He shifted just enough to pull me fully into their view. “Harper, this is Rick.” The shorter one grinned, easy and open. “Jason, you know from the track team.” The taller one nodded. “And Lia.”
I gave a small nod, trying to figure out why he was introducing them to me at all.
Lia smiled, but her gaze settled on Jackson. “Why do you sit over here? We’re on the other side.”
Jackson did not hesitate. “I like it here.”
As if it were the simplest answer in the world.
My cat purred, traitorous. But the worst part was not her. It was the small treacherous warmth that flashed through me first. I had a list. A purpose. No room for this.
I gripped the pen so tightly the plastic snapped. Ink ran across my fingers in a dark stain while the wolves turned to stare.
Rick snorted under his breath. “Damn. She really doesn’t like you.”
Jackson ignored him completely. He reached into his bag, pulled out a clean tissue, and held it out first.
“Here. Wipe that off.”
I hesitated for half a second, then took the tissue and cleaned the worst of the ink from my fingers. When he held out a second pen, I shook my head.
“I have another one.”
I pulled a fresh pen from my own bag without looking at him.
Professor Hartley walked in at the same moment. Chairs scraped across the floor and conversations dropped off mid-sentence. Lia lingered a second longer than the others, then followed them down the row, already whispering.
Jackson did not push again during the lecture. He took notes, answered one question with the kind of depth most people missed, and left me alone for the rest of the hour. When class ended I packed fast and slipped into the aisle.
Thursday brought a brief break when Jackson stayed off campus, but Naomi made sure I didn’t enjoy it.
The whole week had become an exercise in restraint. During every drill, every lap, every water break, she found a way to shoulder-check me or cut me off—subtle enough to pass as clumsiness, deliberate enough that my cat tracked her with narrowing eyes.
I kept my pace and my breathing even, forcing myself to let it go.
By the end of Thursday afternoon practice I was one more shove away from showing her exactly who she was dealing with.
Cassidy caught me before I could escape. She wiped sweat from her forehead with the hem of her shirt. “So you’re coming this Saturday.”
“No.”
“I didn’t go last week because I had no one to go with, and I’m not doing that again. Showing up alone sucks. Everyone’s in their little groups. I just stand there pretending I’m having fun.”
“You’d survive.”
“I don’t want to survive. I want to enjoy it. That requires you.” She leaned closer, eyes wide. “You’re my best friend.”
“We’ve known each other for two weeks.”
“Time is irrelevant. This is a bond.” My cat had already lost interest. “One party. You don’t have to talk to anyone. Just exist near me so I have a reason to be there.”
I thought about the week I had had. Jackson in my lectures, Naomi’s constant need to provoke me, and the dreams that kept dragging me awake at four.
In them I ran through the forest in my cat form, the black wolf always somewhere behind me.
I woke up irritated every time and blamed my cat entirely.
I had not shifted since the last time. Not with a wolf in the woods.
And now my subconscious had decided to run laps with him.
I sighed. “I’ll think about it.”
Cassidy’s face lit up. “That means yes.”
“It means I’ll think about it.”
“I’ll take it. For now.”
By Friday, I had stopped being surprised when Jackson was already in the seat next to mine in Behavioral Analysis. I had accepted him as a permanent feature of my existence. Changing seats only drew more attention, and that was the last thing I needed.
His knee nearly brushed mine as I sat. His arm rested along the back of my chair, close enough that the space felt claimed. My cat purred like she had been waiting for this.
“Morning,” he said, like we did this every day.
I made a sound that could pass for a response and opened my notebook.
He leaned in, closer than polite, and inhaled slowly and deliberately. “You smell like rain.”
I turned to him. “What is wrong with you?”
The corner of his mouth twitched. Not quite a smile. I looked back at my notes.
A second later his hand moved. He caught a loose strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear, casual as breathing. The spark hit sharp and electric. It spread before I could stop it, stealing my breath in a small hitch. I hated that.
I fixed him with my best I-will-murder-you-in-your-sleep stare. He did not flinch. If anything, faint amusement touched his gaze.
“Go out with me,” he said.
My brain stalled. My cat swooned.
“No.”
Jackson studied me for a beat, then leaned back in his chair.
A moment later Professor Hartley walked in and the lecture began. Twenty minutes in, Jackson slid a piece of paper between us. You missed a detail.
I looked at it, then at the board, then at my own notes, and he was right—I had. I corrected the line and slipped the paper into my notebook. The man was smart, really smart. He saw connections others missed and read rooms the same way I did, and that worried me more than anything.
Smart people noticed things that other people missed. Patterns where others saw noise. And I was sitting next to one of them four days a week, in a class about criminal behavior, while carrying three more names on a list that nobody in this building could know existed.
When the lecture ended, I packed quickly and stepped into the aisle, making it only two steps before someone barreled into my bag from behind. The sudden jerk pulled me off balance and my foot slipped.
Jackson moved before I could fall. His arm came around me, pulling me in against his chest, steady and immediate, and for one suspended moment I was simply there, held, my face turned into the fabric of his shirt.
Pine. Warmth. Wolf.
My cat melted.
“Watch it,” he said over my head to the girl who had pushed me, but she was already hurrying away.
He let me go once I was steady, though the imprint of him lingered. I straightened, adjusted my bag, and reset my face while my pulse hammered, refusing to examine why I felt so flustered.
I glanced toward where the girl had disappeared, using the moment to breathe and reset, but instead I caught Naomi standing at the lecture hall doors.
Her expression tightened when she saw how close we still were, something dark flashing across her face before the fake smile slipped back into place.
She pushed off the doorframe and headed straight for us.
“Jackson, can I steal you for a second?” She reached out like she expected him to follow.
He did not. “I’m good.”
Her hand froze. “I just thought we could talk about the group assignment,” she tried, softer.
I did not wait for the rest. I took the opening and started down the aisle. Behind me I heard Jackson say, “I finished my part.”
He caught up with me in the corridor. “Most people say goodbye before they leave.”
“I’m not most people.”
“No. You’re really not.”
I kept walking and he fell back, letting distance open between us. It should have felt like victory, but I had only made it halfway down the hall when his voice rang out behind me.
“See you tomorrow, Harper!”
Every student in earshot turned. He knew exactly what he was doing. I clenched my jaw and kept walking like I had not heard a thing.