Chapter 17 #2
Placing a hand on his shoulder, I applied comforting pressure. “We won’t fail him again. Remember, we’re in this together, mate. For better or worse.”
Azrael nodded as well, rising to his full height. “I’ll place the Urchins on alert around the flat. If Wilhelm makes any move, we’ll know. They can delay her as much as possible.”
“Don’t do anything that will sour the situation for your people,” Bastien warned.
Azrael shook his head. “We Unseen aren’t just great at fighting, you know? We also supply fantastic mischief when the situation calls for it. And Wilhelm will be none the wiser.”
Bastien nodded. “Thank you. Both of you.”
“This is for all of us. This world has taken enough, and now is the time that we take something back.”
Bastien’s hand settled over mine as it rested on his shoulder, and Azrael took hold of my other, completing the chain of connection. Strong as ever, the tethers that bound us to one another flared to life, weaving together into a braided cord of resolve.
There was strength in this nameless magic. A resolve that once bound together would be nearly impossible to break.
And we were ready to put it to the test.
“This way.”
Bastien moved silently down rows of tomes, the dim lighting from the skylights overhead nearly extinguished by the late hour.
Paradise’s library was far larger than it appeared from the exterior, and I realized that was because they’d carved down into the earth to build it, leaving only the top two layers visible from outside.
As we reached the center atrium, I leaned over the railing to get a glimpse of the dozens of floors that stretched down into the depths.
It was an incredible sight to behold. Even with all of the knowledge lost to them during the schism, the Reviled had managed to preserve enough information to fill that place. It rivaled even the grandest of libraries in the Sanctuary city.
“Come,” Bastien urged me, already moving towards the descending spiral stairs. The spellwork labs were several floors below us, and we needed to be quick before the security force started to make their evening rounds.
Bastien moved with confidence, and all I needed to do was keep pace as he weaved his way through the winding labyrinth of inked pages.
For the last few months, this place had been more home to him than the flat where Tobias slept.
He’d carved his way through these rows, tome after tome, in search of the answers we now possessed.
Once we’d descended at least half a dozen floors, we finally found the space for which we’d come.
The spellwork laboratory was sectioned off into multiple rooms, each with walls of frosted glass.
Once Bastien had selected a vacant one, he quickly shut the door behind us, setting to work right away.
At first, I felt as though I was in the way.
But after a few minutes, Bastien seemed to remember I was there, too, and he started assigning me tasks.
We worked around one another, two celestial bodies locked in orbit.
Once the area had been staged appropriately to Bastien’s liking, he started collecting ingredients.
Handing me a list of the simple ones, he disappeared back out into the library proper.
Almost immediately, I felt the blooming frustration of my lack of traditional education.
While I was developing my ability to commune with the Source, other Magi learned the basics through instructors and schooling.
I missed out on so much common knowledge that it took me until my adult years to realize just how much the Church had omitted from my education.
By the time Bastien returned, I’d managed to gather only half the list he’d left me with, and my mood had soured considerably.
“Are you alright?” he asked, setting down the tray of vials and stemmed greenery he’d gathered. He obviously could pick up on my frustrations. I felt them echoing down the tether that reattached to him the moment he entered the room.
“I don’t enjoy being humbled,” I grumbled, setting my own tray aside with disdain.
The squeeze of anxiety in my chest worsened, wringing words out like water.
“Even more so when it’s something as important as this.
Source’s sake, look at me, Bast. I’m going to be the next Cardinal of the Church, and yet I’m done in by a pile of plants!
What kind of leader am I going to be if I can’t even manage this? ”
Bastien closed the distance between us in two strides, suddenly in front of me.
His frame filled my vision, like an eclipse, blotting out the rest of the world.
He didn’t speak, resting one hand on my shoulder, the other pressing gently into my chest, right over the spot where our tether latched.
Immediately, I could feel that anxious squeeze lessen, balmed by his touch.
I stood, rooted in place by the golden gaze of this man. This man, who had once been my foil, who had outright despised me, was now the one who reached for me when I needed him. And here he was, soothing the fears that plagued my mind with nothing more than his touch.
“You’ve known this day was coming, yes?” he asked, eyes of gold searching my face for an answer.
“I never imagined it would be so soon. I always thought I’d have more time.
Time to learn just what it means to be a leader.
Sancha made it seem so effortless. Like she’d been born into it, really.
It doesn’t come so easily for me. I can be selfish.
I can be rash. I can be downright cruel, sometimes.
And now there’s no one to keep me in check.
What’s to stop me from ending up a monster, like Adoranda Greene? ”
“Everyone has that potential, Cirian. You and I are no different. These monsters are simply those who chose to put themselves first, damn the consequences. That choice will always be in front of you. The question remains, how do you ensure that you chose correctly?”
“How do I know?”
Bastien cocked his head, eyes narrowing at me. “Do you really think yourself so base?”
“I know myself to be flawed. Arrogant. Self-centered. You’ve said so yourself.”
“Right, and I stand by those assessments.”
“Then why would you think for a second that I’ll be anything other than a disaster?”
“Because you’re infinitely more than the failures you cling to,” Bastien argued, drawing his hand away from my chest to grip my other shoulder, holding me in place.
“Yes, you’ve made mistakes. Yes, I’ve seen you act with arrogance.
With self-centered pride. But I’ve seen much more than that.
I’ve seen the way you care for others. Seen you take away pain with a wave of your hand.
I’ve watched you stand before thousands of your people, and command their respect, their adoration.
And I’ve witnessed when you think that no one is watching, how the bravado you project fades away, revealing the man beneath the pomp and circumstance.
The man who wants nothing more than to do right by those he cares for.
That is the man whom I see looking back at me now. ”
Tears spilled down my face, but I couldn’t look away from him. How was it that someone I had known for a few short months could see me so clearly, even when I turned a blind eye inward? Peeling back the layers with finesse as fine as a surgeon to reveal the truth beneath the facade.
I felt vulnerable in his hands. Even more so than when our clothes had been stripped away in a dance of passion.
There was an intimacy that exuded from his gaze that I had rarely experienced, and it disarmed me.
This wasn’t merely a physical connection any longer.
It was something deeper. Something that sparked the prickle of fear in my gut, but I forced myself not to look away.
Bastien reached up, cupping my face and dragging his thumb across my cheekbone to clear away the stream of tears. I leaned into his touch, a shudder passing through me like an echo of pleasure. Wrapping my arms around him, I could bear the distance no longer, and I enveloped him in a kiss.
He responded in kind, his body crashing into mine, one hand still holding my head while the other twisted itself into the fabric of my clothes. This was more than just a display of attraction. It had become something more. Something to be revered.
I had never intended for Bastien to become so precious to me.
He was supposed to be a distraction. Something to occupy my attention till Tobias was awake once more.
There was no way that he’d ever allow himself to feel affection for me.
Yet, somewhere along the way, a seismic shift had occurred.
Maybe it was the tether that wrapped around us, illuminating the room with its brilliance.
Or maybe it had been written long before Tobias had bound us together.
Either way, there was but one certainty I knew in that moment, held in his arms. I loved this man. I loved Bastien, and though fear bloomed alongside that confession, it was quickly overshadowed by the surge of elation that ran through me.
I loved him. And there was no denying that fact any longer.
When we broke apart, Bastien’s golden eyes widened a bit, and I knew that I must have inadvertently sent something down the tether to reveal my feelings to him. Bracing myself for his reaction, I released my hold on him, taking a step back. But Bastien quickly caught me again, pulling me back in.
“No, stay right there. You don’t get to drop this on me and run.”
“Bastien, I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s alright,” he interrupted, lips curling into a smile. “If you had waited around another second, you would have known my reply.”
He rested his hand against my chest, his eyes fluttering closed as the tether around us glowed brighter once again.
For a brief moment, our consciousnesses collided, the resulting cacophony disorienting, but then Bastien seemed to gain control, and one message rose above all the din, resonating and affirming—
“I love you, too.”