Dead or Alive (Owning Vegas)

Prologue

White walls sprayed with blood. Art at its finest. I stare at the red splotches and lines, seeing images in the shapes that the blood mixed with brain matter form against the otherwise pristine wall.

If you focus hard enough, you can see all sorts of pictures.

A cat, a shoe, wings… always fucking wings.

I’ve spent months trying to figure out the meaning of the wings. They’re certainly not the kind that belong to angels. Nothing good belongs here. This place is hell on earth.

I used to dream about this, about having a father to teach me everything I didn’t know.

I stopped dreaming when I was eight. I’d give anything to be able to go back to the days when I thought the man standing in front of me was dead.

It took him fourteen years to find me. He says my mother stole me from him, denied us the opportunity to be a family, denied me my birthright.

At fourteen, I believed him. I hated my mother for the lies she told me. Hated that she made us struggle when we didn’t have to. Now, just two years later, I’m thankful she did what she did. The sacrifices she made to try to give me a normal life. Not that it made a difference. He still found me.

It took three months for me to see my father for who he really was. The devil. The ruthless cartel leader everyone fears. Including myself. The things I’ve witnessed this man do in just two years… it’s what nightmares are made of. Nothing could have prepared me for this life.

“You see where he went wrong, mijo?” my father asks, pointing to what’s left of the man’s face that is hanging from rusted chains in front of the white wall.

“Where, Papa?” I ask him. The title tastes bitter on my tongue. He might be my father by blood, but he will never be my papa. No matter how many times I call him that.

“Love,” he says. “Made him weak.”

I look to the right of the man. The body of his wife lays lifeless on the ground. My father spits at it. “Puta, if it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have had to blow the brains out of one of my best men,” he says.

“Of course, Papa.” I have no idea what this woman did to cause both her and her husband’s deaths. Whatever it was, I’m sure it’s not worthy of the torture they both received.

“Walk with me, mijo.” My father put his hand on my shoulder, his fingers digging into my skin as he guides me out of the building.

I don’t utter a word. I have nothing to say to this man, unless he asks a direct question.

“I’m glad you were here to witness what love does to a man. It’s a weakness that we must kill before it kills us.”

My mind goes to my mother, who is still very much alive, in a very nice house in Las Vegas. It’s a gilded cage, but it’s much better than the alternative. My father doesn’t allow her to leave the grounds. He says it’s because she’s a target. I just think he’s a control freak.

“I’m sending you back to Vegas tomorrow, Emmanuel. There is a problem I need you to fix.”

I smile before correcting my face. I’m going back to Vegas. I’ll be able to see my mother, my friends, my girlfriend. I don’t even care what the problem is. Whatever he wants me to do, I’ll do it. I haven’t seen Laura in a month. We haven’t spoken or messaged.

“What is it?” I ask.

“There will be a full brief waiting for you on the jet. You have two weeks, mijo. Make them count,” he says before adding, “And don’t disappoint me.”

I nod my head. “I won’t.”

I’m so eager to get back to Vegas. I message my friends, Louie, Carlo and Sammie. They’re street kids, but I know they’re going places.

Me:

I’m coming home. Today. Just boarded the jet.

Louie:

You’re being let out of the palace?

Carlo:

Party?

Sammie:

Do you even know how to party still, E? You’ve been gone a while. Do they party in Mexico?

Ignoring all their stupid questions, I ask the one that’s burning in the back of my mind. Laura. I might not have been able to keep in touch with her while I was gone. That doesn’t mean I don’t keep tabs on her through everyone else I know.

Me:

How is she?

Louie:

She’ll be happy to see you.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? She’ll be happy to see me? Does that mean she’s not happy now?

Pocketing my phone, I settle into the plush leather seat and pick up the envelope on the table in front of me. I rip it open and pull out the photos inside. My stomach drops, and it has nothing to do with the fact that the jet just took off from the runway.

Staring back at me is the face of the only person in this world that I love. Laura. What the fuck? I’ve kept her secret. I’ve made sure he didn’t know about her. How the fuck did he find out? There’s a note with my father’s handwriting scrawled across it.

Kill her. Kill your weakness, mijo. If you don’t, I will.

The threat is there. If I don’t kill Laura, he will. And what he’ll do to her will be far worse than anything I can imagine. But I can’t do this…

I climb out of my seat, walk as calmly as I can manage into the bathroom, and slam the door shut. Leaning over the toilet to empty the contents of my stomach.

Kill her. He’s asking me to do the one thing I can’t fucking do. Anyone else but her. I need to figure out a plan. I need to get rid of her, get her away and out of his reach. There has to be a way to do that.

As soon as the jet lands in Vegas, I ditch my father’s security and go in search of Laura. It doesn’t take me long to find her. She always did stand out in a crowd. The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.

The words keep repeating in my head. Kill her. Kill her. This is going to kill me, because when my father finds out I’ve betrayed his orders, blood or not, he will kill me.

I lean against the wall and watch her. She’s sitting on a park bench with one of her friends. Two seconds later, she’s looking around until her eyes connect with mine. A huge smile forms on her face and then she’s up and running across the street.

The moment she reaches me, her arms wrap around my neck. My lips land on hers. “Fuck, I missed you,” I tell her.

“Not as much as I missed you,” she says.

When my arms tighten around her waist, I feel nothing but skin and bone. She’s lost weight. “You wanna go somewhere?” I ask her.

Laura bites down on her lower lip and nods her head. “Give me a sec. I need to go and say goodbye to Heather.”

“I’ll be right here.”

My eyes never leave her as she talks to her friend. It’s not until I watch Laura take a bag of white powder from the other girl’s hand that I start crossing the road.

Snatching the bag from Laura’s hand, I throw it at the other girl. “Get that shit away from her. If I ever see you give her anything again, I will kill you.”

“Emmanuel, stop!” Laura gasps. “I need that.”

My glare turns to my girlfriend. “No you fucking don’t,” I tell her.

“Yes, I fucking do!” she yells at me. “You don’t know. You’re never here. I need it.” She holds out a hand to her friend.

“Do it. I dare you,” I threaten the girl, who shakes her head and turns away. Smart.

Taking hold of Laura’s hand, I drag her away.

“What the fuck, Laura? What was that?” I ask her.

“It’s nothing,” she says.

“Nothing? You’re doing drugs now?” I hiss.

“Pfft, like you’re one to talk. You think I don’t know where they come from? Who they come from? From your father? From you!”

“So what? That gives you the right to throw your fucking life away?”

“I threw my life away the moment I fell in love with you, Emmanuel. Someone I can’t ever have, not really. What do you expect me to do? Sit around and wait for the brief moments you come back to town?” she asks.

“It’s not always going to be like this,” I tell her.

“Yes, it is,” she says. “Or… we could run. Just you and me.”

“We can’t run.”

“We can. You have money. We can go anywhere. I can’t live this life, Emmanuel. I can’t be the girl in a different city, waiting for crumbs.”

Does she think it’s easy for me? I miss her like fucking crazy every fucking day. But I know that one day, things will change. I’m prepared to endure the hard times now, because she is worth it.

I’ve been in town for a week. I haven’t figured out a way to get Laura away. I need to find her a new identity, get her a one-way ticket and figure out how to tell her she needs to stay hidden until I can come for her. Which could be years.

The identity part I’ve got. I just picked up her new passport and papers. I’ve got her a credit card and a bit of cash that will tide her over for a bit. She’s a smart girl. She will figure out how to survive wherever she ends up.

“Why do you look like you’re about to drown a cat?” Louie asks.

“Who the fuck drowns a cat?” I throw back. “I gotta go see Laura. Catch you later.”

I’m fucking pissed that my friends missed the fact that Laura was getting her nose dirty. How the fuck did they not know? I’ve been with her as much as possible over the last week and she’s been clean, as far as I can tell.

I get to Laura’s house and climb through her bedroom window. She’s not in here but the adjoining bathroom door is slightly ajar. So I walk over, push it open, and find her on the floor.

She looks at me and shifts her body to the side. What is she doing?

Then she rolls onto her back and closes her eyes.

“Laura? What? No!” I drop to my knees, pick up her head, and slap her cheeks. Her eyes blink open at me.

“E? You came back.” She smiles, her gaze unfocused.

“What did you do?” I ask her.

“What you couldn’t… I killed your weakness so you can become the greatest,” she says, her words slurred. “I love you.”

“What are you talking about? Laura, what the fuck did you take?” I look around the bathroom. That’s when I see the syringe sticking out of her right arm.

Just as I’m about to pull it out, her entire body shakes and foam bubbles out of her mouth.

“No!” I scream and hold her against me. “Don’t do this,” I tell her. “I have a plan!”

There’s no response, though. Instead, she goes limp in my arms.

I don’t know how long I’ve been sitting here. But when I finally stand, with the lifeless body of the girl I love in my arms, I smile. “You wanted to create a monster, Papa? Now you have.”

I will become the monster he wants. I’ll become the monster who destroys him too.