Chapter 28
“Jesus, you people are slow!” a harsh voice called out from the other side of the fence, barking orders at the ranch’s remaining workers who toiled endlessly in the fields in service to their new overlords.
Deb tried to block it out, to ignore the degrading and consistent abuse the people she loved were forced to endure day in and day out. She gritted her teeth, trying to swallow down the wave of anger and sadness that tried to grip her heart throughout every day of this hell.
She turned and walked into the horse barn, hoping some time with the animals she loved most would help to turn her sour mood around. Sometimes it worked, but today wasn’t one of those days. Today was a day when she looked upon her babies and felt disheartened by the state they were in.
They were malnourished and overworked. Many had died from exhaustion or had become sick from the treatment they were forced to endure under Chainz and his barbaric army that seemed to grow larger by the day.
Deb walked up to Buttercup, who stood in his stable.
She placed a hand along his muzzle and rubbed down toward his nose.
The horse’s large sad eyes looked at her, and she could almost feel a questioning animosity in that stare.
As though the horses, too, were tired of this treatment and longed to break away from the horror their lives had descended into.
“I thought I’d find you here,” a familiar voice said, full of fondness and care.
Deb shuddered at the sound of it. She hated herself for the animosity she felt toward her husband, but she could no longer deny its existence.
“Where else would I be?” she asked, turning to look at Sean as he walked into the barn, holding Jimmy in his arms.
The baby had grown so big in the last six months, and he was starting to talk more and more as time went on. Sean placed Jimmy down on the barn floor, and the baby ran to her on shaking legs.
Deb managed a true smile for Jimmy and looked lovingly down at her sole reason for living. She scooped him up into her arms as he hugged her and showered her with exclamations of “Mama” over and over again.
Had it not been for Jimmy, she might have done something stupid long ago. She would have tried to challenge Chainz or flee the ranch on her own, desperate to escape this hellish nightmare that her greatest dream had become.
“How’re you doing?” Sean asked, sounding genuinely gentle and curious. He reached out a strong hand to touch her, and she involuntarily recoiled from it. He backed away as though he had been slapped in the face, but Deb was unmoved by his plight at first.
It was because of him that all of this had happened.
He had signed away their ranch, their home, and her father’s dreams for the future of their family.
He was the reason they now lived in a little shack on their own property, while Chainz and his closest supporters occupied their house like it was some kind of castle.
“I’m fine,” Deb said shortly, clutching the baby to her as though she were afraid Sean would try to rip him from her arms.
But Sean’s face simply fell, and he looked sad and tired at that moment. “Deb, I know this isn’t ideal,” he started to say before Deb barked out a laugh.
“Ideal?” she scoffed, rolling her eyes and taking a few steps away from her husband. “Isn’t ideal? You gave away our home, and we’ve lived like servants for half a damn year, Sean!”
“I’m not having this conversation again,” he snapped back, frustration breaking through his sadness. “You know I had no choice. You know it was the only way for us to get home!”
“Is this even our home anymore, Sean?” she practically screamed, not giving a damn for the first time in six long months who heard her. “Is it?”
“Keep your voice down,” Sean hissed, taking a step toward her and holding out a hand as though to physically restrain her. However, he made no actual move to do so. “Do you know what would happen if the wrong person heard you talking like that?”
“Yeah, Sean, I do,” she spat back, utterly fed up. “The same thing that happened to Rose when they dragged her out into the middle of the property and shot her face off in front of everyone.”
Deb felt tears welling up in her eyes, and they started to spill uncontrollably down her cheeks.
Sensing something was making his mother upset, Jimmy also started to cry.
Deb’s lip quivered as she glared at Sean, remembering all too well the sight of her longtime friend’s body crumpling into an unrecognizable mess.
They hadn’t even buried her. Chainz just ordered her body to burn where it lay. Deb still dry heaved several times every week, remembering the horrid smell it gave off.
“I am not going to see what happened to Rose happen to you, Deb,” Sean hissed under his breath. “I won’t. And I’m done apologizing for this! I did what I had to do to keep you and Jimmy safe! To keep our family safe! Anyone would have done what I did!”
“Vin wouldn’t have,” Deb said, spitting the name at Sean like a curse, knowing full well that the mention of her fallen hero of an ex-husband would twist the proverbial knife in her traitorous husband’s chest.
Sean’s eyes flared to life for a moment, and Deb stood tall in the wake of his fury. But she watched him take a breath, calming himself and bringing his emotions under control.
“Well, I’m still here,” Sean said, his voice tight with barely contained fury. “He isn’t.” He turned around sharply and stormed away, leaving Deb and Jimmy in the barn with the horses.
Deb brought the baby over to Buttercup and watched as Jimmy’s little face lit up.
He loved horses, same as his mommy. He reached out to touch Buttercup on the nose, and Deb wanted to smile with pride at her little man embracing her passions.
But that wasn’t going to happen today, not after that horrible conversation with Sean.
They had both tried to hurt each other using Vin’s memory as the blunt instrument. It had been more than half a year, and she still felt the pain, as fresh as though it had happened only yesterday.
When she had seen Sean ride back to her hiding place with Jimmy in his arms, she had been filled with a warm explosion of relief and happiness. She had run to him, taking the baby and hugging him to her chest and cheek with so much force that Sean had to warn her against accidentally hurting him.
She had looked at her husband at that moment as though he were a conquering hero, a true saint of a human being for bringing back their baby. Her eyes lit up with love and adoration for the man she had married. She was amazed at this feat he had accomplished, something she feared was impossible.
It had been only two of them against an entire train full of remnant soldiers.
Two of them…
With the shock of the moment gone, Deb had looked around, trying to figure out where Vin was. Was he bringing up the rear? Had he taken off into the desert once more without saying goodbye? She realized with a sad shiver that this was altogether possible based on his previous actions.
Of course, there was a darker alternative, one Deb didn’t dare even utter in case doing so would somehow make it true. But the confusion and potential devastation were pushing down on her like a massive weight, and she had to ask.
“Where…” she had started to ask before her throat closed off. She cleared it, took a deep breath, and continued on. “Where’s Vin?”
The question hung in the air around them like a dense fog, and she watched as Sean’s face twitched and fell under the weight of his emotions.
Sean had taken a deep breath and explained that Vin wasn’t coming back. He had died trying to save their son. He had died a hero, riddled with remnant bullets as he sacrificed himself to ensure Jimmy got home safe.
The crushing sadness she had felt at that moment was rivaled only by the devastation of losing her father, but there was something even more tragic about this. Her father had died an old man, and he had slid into poor health over a long period of time.
His death had been expected, planned for even.
When the moment came, there was no shock.
It was peaceful and felt right. He had lived a long, full life full of happiness and love, and he had passed from this world surrounded by people he loved.
It had hurt to lose him, but it felt like a natural conclusion to their relationship.
This, on the other hand, was tragic and horrible.
It was sudden, harsh, and felt as though the world had stolen a piece of her away.
Vin’s death had left a hole in her heart.
While he had been away from her for more than a year, interacting in very rare instances, she had always known the door was open for him to show up and have a relationship with his son.
She knew that if they were ever in trouble, all she needed to do was reach out, and he would come running.
Now he was gone, horribly snatched from this unfair and uncaring world. He would never come riding to the rescue again. She would never hear his strong voice speak her name. The relationship she had always hoped for between Vin and Jimmy would never happen.
The crushing horror of the moment hit her like a fist, and Deb had collapsed to the ground, clutching Jimmy to her chest and weeping in despair.
This child was now the only piece of Vin left in her life, and she would make sure that when he was old enough, he would know about his heroic father and how he had sacrificed everything to ensure his son’s future.
Back in the present, Deb watched as Jimmy reached out to touch Buttercup, marveling with some jealousy at how he could be so blissfully unaware of the nightmare world of darkness that grew around them.