Chapter 36
It was well into the evening by the time Sean and the Chain Gang members returned back to the ranch. They had left in such a hurry, staring down the barrels of dozens of guns, that they had left Maverick’s body to rot on the streets of the reservation.
But the loss of Maverick was no great personal shock to Sean. The man had been a twisted, cruel psychopath who was only still around because he found a way to profit off of his twisted desires. The world was better off without him in it.
But what did unnerve him was the reaction Chainz would have when he heard about all of this. It was a monumental failure on just about every conceivable level. Not only had the Natives refused to vacate their land, but Maverick was dead, and Vin was alive.
That last fact was what caused Sean’s nerves to rattle within his body. Vin was alive. It was inconceivable, but somehow, he was still breathing. Sean had put four bullets in him and left him to die in the desert, bleeding out over the rocks with vultures circling overhead.
How was it then that he managed to continue on? Clearly, the Natives had arrived and nursed him back to health, but the fact that he had lasted that long with those injuries was nothing short of remarkable. It had taken Sean some time to unload the kids and move out from the train.
He had purposely not looked back at the sight of his betrayal, as the emotions surrounding that moment were still so fresh and stabbed at what was left of his heart and soul.
If only he had looked back one last time.
Had he looked and seen that Vin was still alive, still stirring and clinging to life, he could have put a shot through his brain and ended it right then and there.
He should have shot him in the head from the beginning, just ended it with one blast, and moved on with his life. But no, Sean had felt sentimental and needed to explain his actions to Vin.
Why had he done that? To absolve himself of guilt? To remind himself why this had to be done? To bolster his own ego? To gloat?
Or was it all of those things curled together in a horrible soup of failure?
And what was going to become of him now? He had failed in his mission, failed in his original promise to Chainz, and through his actions, indirectly caused the death of Maverick. Chainz was going to make him pay for this. There was no universe where he didn’t.
There would be consequences for his actions, and they would be painful. The only variable in this situation was whether or not, at the end of it, he would still be alive.
He had to live on because if he died and left Deb and Jimmy to the whims of the Chain Gang, then they might as well bury the two of them alongside him and be done with it.
He had done this for them, all of it. It had been the only viable option, the only conceivable way they could survive together in this harsh new world of dangers.
Sean sighed to himself as he swung down off of his horse and led it back into the stable.
He was justifying these actions to himself again, as he had done every single day for the last six months.
He had continuously justified his actions both silently and aloud, both to himself and to Deb over and over again.
He had justified his actions so many times that he was now sure his course of action had been correct.
There was no alternative. It was that or certain death.
Vin couldn’t see that. He was so selfish, so mindlessly enslaved to the memory of the old man and his connection to the family that he walked out on.
It was clear to Sean what Vin’s endgame was here. To come marching back into this ranch and take both Deb and Jimmy back for himself. Sean would never let that happen. He had fought for this family, killed for them, nearly died for them.
They were his! They belonged to him, and no one was going to walk into his life and take that away from him. No one was going to undo the chance he had given them to survive the harshness of this hell the world had tumbled into.
It was his willingness to go where others would not that led to their continued existence. It was his prepping for this disaster that gave them a fighting chance. It wasn’t Vin. Not at all. Had it not been for Sean, Vin might have died in the assault on the remnant camp.
In a certain sense, Vin’s life belonged to him from that moment on, and he was completely justified in snuffing it out. Or trying to, at the very least.
Those thoughts raced through his addled psyche as he wound his way toward the ranch house. He needed to report to Chainz, though the walk seemed to be going on and on as he wound around the ranch chasing his thoughts.
Sean suddenly realized that he had unconsciously taken the longest possible route through the grounds.
He was putting off this uncomfortable and potentially fatally conversation for as long as he possibly could.
Part of him believed everything would be fine.
Chainz was reasonable. He was a businessman.
He knew he needed Sean’s military expertise to expand through the region and battle back against the remnant when they undoubtedly returned.
But he had also seen Chainz lose all semblance of control several times over the last half-year. He had watched in horror as he devolved into a savage beast and tore anyone and anything in his path to shreds. He had murdered many of his followers, people who were useful to the cause.
While these people hadn’t been quite as valuable as Sean, it seemed possible that this news was going to push him into a frenzied rage, unlike anything Sean had experienced up until now.
He wanted to stop and see Deb, to see Jimmy before making his way to Chainz.
But he realized that every minute Chainz had to wait for him to arrive, the deeper and more uncontrollable his anger would become.
If Sean had been particularly religious, he might have said a prayer as the ranch house appeared in front of him, growing larger with every step.
But Sean had seen too much, experienced too much, and learned too much to believe that the horrors of this world could boil down to any kind of higher power.
His heart thumped in his ears with every step as he approached the front porch. He could only breathe and hope that maybe somehow Chainz was in a particularly good mood. He held onto that hope until he reached the porch and saw Legion standing guard out front.
The big man was where he normally was, beyond the sentries who barred entry at the foot of the porch steps. However, his normally powerful, root-like, and unmovable stance was shaky, and he swayed back and forth.
His face was covered with black and purple bruises and a number of fresh white bandages stained lightly with red.
There was only one person who could have gotten away with bludgeoning Legion to such a degree, and if Chainz was willing to pummel his own bodyguard like this, what would he do to Sean, who he barely tolerated, when he delivered the worst news possible?