Chapter 44
Deb sighed as she watched Sean lean over the table, so focused on his mission. He had been charged with planning the assault on the Native reservation. He had told Deb it was a protective measure after the thrashing he had endured on that site just a few days ago.
Deb hated the thought of it but realized it was necessary.
She recalled with startling clarity the savagery of Sean’s injuries.
While she had been so disillusioned with him over the last half a year since the day the Chain Gang had ridden into her ranch, the sight of him in such dire straits sent waves of love and compassion coursing out from her heart.
She began to feel guilty for the way she had been treating him. She had always known deep down that Sean was trying to protect them by making the deal with Chainz. But for six long months, she had not been able to see beyond the horror her life had become.
She was still not happy with it and wished beyond anything that she had the power to toss that monster out of her home and her life once and for all.
But that wasn’t realistic, and if Deb had any hope of surviving this place and Jimmy had any hope of living to see his teen years, she had to start accepting what actually was instead of lamenting what wasn’t.
“How’s it going?” she asked, pouring him a glass of water from a pitcher and placing it on the table.
“Fine,” Sean said, so deep in concentration that her words weren’t really reaching him.
The glass of water sat untouched beside him, and worry began to gnaw away at Deb’s insides. Sean was incredibly focused on this, more so than she had ever seen him focus on a mission before.
That meant there was something about this particular mission that was unnerving him, and he doubted whether he’d actually be able to come back this time.
Deb knew better than to ask. Sean never talked about the particulars of a mission.
He told her the basics, as in where he was going and who the target was.
He had even gone an extra step in this instance, telling Deb why this mission was so critical and what would happen should they fail.
But still, it seemed like there was a lot he was keeping close to the chest, and that concerned her.
She tried to put it out of her mind. Sean needed to concentrate, and she had duties to attend to.
Several of the wounded ranch hands required bandage changes today, so Deb figured it was a good time to head over to the barn.
She gathered up her first aid kit and considered bringing Jimmy with her to keep him out of Sean’s hair.
The baby was playing quietly in a corner, stacking blocks on top of one another and knocking them down.
She began to wonder if it might do Sean some good to have Jimmy close.
Maybe his proximity would break through that thick aura of worry pouring out of him.
“Hey, I’m gonna head out to the barn,” Deb said, tapping her first aid kit.
Sean looked up and gave her a slight nod.
“I’m gonna leave Jimmy here with you, okay?”
“Yeah,” Sean grunted, looking back down at his maps.
Deb walked over to Jimmy and gave him a little kiss on the head. “I love you, sweet boy,” she said with a smile as the baby practically ignored her presence to keep his focus on his blocks. “Be good for Dada.”
Deb started to walk toward the door and noticed Sean glancing up to keep an eye on Jimmy and what he was doing.
That was good, exactly as Deb had planned it.
Deb knew that keeping Jimmy safe was a huge responsibility that Sean put on his shoulders and placing the baby in his care for a bit would cause him to divide his attention and take his mind off of the grizzly battle coming in just a few days.
Deb crossed out into the open air, breathing in the freshness that had always surrounded this area.
She wondered if soon all areas of the world would smell as fresh and wonderful as her home always had.
With a lack of car exhaust and factory pollution, would the planet become a cleaner and more pleasant place?
She hoped so. It would be a spot of light in an otherwise dark and terrifying new reality.
Thoughts like this were part of Deb’s new outlook.
Her existence on the ranch since the arrival of Chainz and his followers had been a hellish nightmare, and nothing had changed.
But instead of dwelling on the horror-show life she now lived, she had decided to focus on little positives that sprang up.
Jimmy was healthy; that was something to be thankful for.
Then there was the natural beauty of the land and her belief that this beauty might spread to other corners of the world.
Thoughts like those kept her grounded and allowed her brief moments where she broke away from the misery she’d descended into.
She needed to keep doing that, both for her sake and Sean’s.
Sean was an easy target for her bitterness.
It was, after all, his actions that led to their new station in life, falling under the cruel “protection” of a wannabe dictator.
But she could make the decision to stay bitter and make her husband’s life miserable over this choice, or she could try with all her heart to forgive him and find something to be happy about.
She chose the latter the moment she had seen Sean’s beaten body, and so far, it had worked out for her.
Deb started crossing the land, moving toward the barn where the injured ranch hands lay in pain.
Her path was once again taking her past her former house, but this time she didn’t look away from it.
She was crossing by this area for a reason, and it had nothing to do with thinking back on happier times. Deb looked up at the porch to see the huge form of Legion standing guard as he did all day, every day.
From this distance, she couldn’t get a good look at his face or the wounds she had treated. But he was standing firm and strong, looking a great deal like his former self. Deb flashed a smile and a wave in the huge man’s direction, unsure if he was even looking at her.
It was impossible to see Legion’s expression from this distance, but she was able to see a nod of acknowledgment from him and a slight movement of his hand that might have been a wave in her direction. That brought another smile to her face.
Legion was the very definition of a Chain Gang member. If there was a poster child for a follower of Chainz, it was that man. He was massive, strong, stoic, and vicious, not to mention fiercely loyal to a fault when it came to his boss.
But with a simple act of kindness, Deb had managed to break through that stoic, tough-guy attitude and, at the very least, earn some respect.
She wasn’t sure if she would ever consider Legion a friend.
She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to be friends with any of the people who so gleefully overran her home and decimated her father’s dream.
She tried to tell herself that it wasn’t the fault of simple soldiers like Legion and that all the fault ultimately rested with Chainz. But that was difficult to accept. They had made a choice to follow this man, and those choices reflected who they were as people.
But, on the other hand, maybe the situation wasn’t as black and white as she had always imagined it. Perhaps Legion, like Sean, had no other choice when entering into Chainz’s service and now found himself in over his head, unable to break free.
Was that the case? Would she ever know? She doubted that she’d ever get close enough to the big man again to ask.
Sean had once told her that Legion never spoke.
He simply grunted and growled his way through interactions.
Legion’s motives for joining the Chain Gang were a mystery, but that was fine.
Deb wasn’t eager to get close to the people who kept in close proximity to Chainz, regardless of what brought them there.
People who got too close to Chainz usually ended up getting hurt.
“No spawn today?” a singsong voice said from the direction of the large tree Deb had hidden behind just a few days ago.
She turned with surprise, one hand pressed to her chest as the words cut through her internal musings.
There, leaning against the tree and cutting pieces of an apple off with a pocketknife, was Jessie. She smiled at Deb, but there was no fondness in the expression. That was fine. Jessie’s lack of affection for Deb was more than returned in the other direction.
“Excuse me?” Deb asked as Jessie slurped an apple slice off the blade of her knife and crunched loudly into it.
“Your little larva,” Jessie said, her mouth still full of the apple as she spoke. “You usually never let that thing out of your sight, but now here you are, walking around by your lonesome.”
Deb felt her face grow hot with rage. These descriptors of Jimmy coming from this slime ball in the shape of a human being were enough to break through her forced optimism and push her to the very limits of her patience.
“My son is none of your concern,” Deb said shortly, remembering all too well the heinous threats Jessie made against Jimmy the last time they stood face to face.
“Oh, you’re all fired up today,” Jessie remarked with a smirk as she carved off another piece of apple and popped it into her mouth. “Does the kitten have claws after all?”
“I don’t need to waste my time talking with you,” Deb said, trying to dismiss Jessie’s condescension and move along on her way toward the people who needed her help.
“Really?” Jessie asked, with mock heartbreak staining her words. She stepped away from the tree and put herself directly in Deb’s path.
Deb attempted to step around the woman, but Jessie altered her positioning to block her.
“After all I’ve done for you?”
Deb was suddenly very aware of the knife in Jessie’s hand and gulped in dread, imagining all the damage she could do with it. She was so focused on the knife that she almost missed what Jessie had said.