Chapter 46 #2
All he could see of Deb was her back, but he could imagine the tight-lipped, determined, angry look on her face as she rushed away from him, away from their life together.
Jimmy cried out, looking over his mother’s shoulder at the only father he’d ever known.
Sean wasn’t certain whether Jimmy understood what was happening.
It was entirely possible that he was simply screaming because his mother had pulled him away from his blocks.
But Sean decided to believe that those cries were for him. It gave him the strength to continue chasing after them, to not give up and give in to his own mounting horror and despair.
“Deb, just wait a minute!” he called out, shouting at the top of his lungs now and drawing more stares from the people around them. “You need to give me a chance to explain!”
“Explain?” Deb cried out, whirling around so fast and so furiously that Sean worried for a moment that Jimmy might fly out of her arms. She, too, was screaming as loud as she could, and a crowd was starting to gather around them, eager to see what was going on.
“You want me to let you explain? Explain what? How you gave away my home? How you shot Vin and left him to die? How you came into our home broken and bleeding and preyed on my sympathy with lies? What part do you want to explain, Sean?”
He was speechless, mouth hanging open as he gaped at her. Sean was suddenly incredibly aware of the mob that had gathered to watch this exchange. His voice caught in his throat. What could he say? That he did it for them? If that argument was going to sway her, it would have worked months ago.
No, she was too far gone, and there was nothing he could say or do to reel her back in.
His marriage was imploding before his eyes, the one thing he had fought for since the detonation of the EMP was crumbling to ashes, and despite being here, despite being present in the moment, he had no way to stop it.
He wanted to lash out, to grab Deb and Jimmy and hug them close. But he knew that wasn’t possible.
“That’s what I thought,” Deb said, noting his silence. “You have nothing to say because you know you’re a scum-sucking lowlife like the rest of these assholes!” Deb gestured wildly at the Chain Gang members who gathered around, and Sean could hear them grumbling to one another at the insult.
His blood stopped flowing as a new danger presented itself. Deb couldn’t just run around insulting Chainz and the people who followed him. She was so angry that she wasn’t thinking, and she was putting her life and Jimmy’s in danger.
“Let me tell you what’s about to happen, Sean Miller,” Deb spat his name as though it were the vilest curse she knew.
She gestured off toward the horse barn, where Sean knew the sick, and wounded ranch hands were waiting for her.
“I’m going to head into that barn. I’m gonna tend to those people one last time.
I’m gonna make sure they know what they have to do in the future to take care of themselves.
Then I am taking my son, and I am leaving this hell once and for all! ”
“You can’t do that!” Sean screamed, taking a few steps toward her in anger.
The thought of her abandoning him, of taking his son and vanishing out into the desert, was horrifying. She was going to put herself in danger, but even worse, she was going to subject Jimmy to the dangers of the outside world.
Deb had no idea how to survive out there in this new world.
Sure, she knew how to camp, how to live off the land.
It was something her father had ingrained into her.
But she had proven time and time again that she did not know how to navigate her way through a powerless world.
She needed him. She needed to be here on the ranch.
“I sure can,” she screamed back, taking a step toward him as if daring him to stop her. “I know how to survive now. I don’t need you to protect me, Sean! I don’t need you for nothing! Jimmy doesn’t need you for nothing! His real daddy is out there somewhere, and we’re gonna find him!”
“Like hell you are!” Sean roared at her.
He took a step in her direction, and Deb retreated. She may have given ground, but her face never broke. She still wore the same look of smoldering fury, glaring daggers at her husband while clutching the baby tightly against her.
“Try and stop me,” she hissed, turning her back on Sean and walking toward the barn. She quickly vanished through one of the massive doors marking the entrance to the building, while the other remained closed, blocking his view of the interior.
Sean looked around and noticed the crowd that had gathered to watch their lover’s quarrel had nearly quadrupled in size. He thought about the Chain Gang's obsession with gossip and wondered how many of the people snickering at him now would try to use this situation against him.
What he didn’t understand was how she had learned all of this.
Who had blabbed to her? Who had betrayed him in this way and brought his life to a crashing halt?
He needed to know. He needed to feel rage now, to direct it somewhere, anywhere but internally.
He needed an external target to take this horrible, crushing, emotional weight off of his shoulders.
Looking around, he saw Jessie, standing there smirking at him like the cat who ate the canary. Could it be? She gave him a wink and a thumbs-up, giggling to herself as Sean’s world came apart and fell into the darkness. She had done it. He was sure of it.
And what’s more, she had done it for no other purpose than to hurt him.
Her position in the Chain Gang was never in danger.
She was Chainz’s partner, and nothing Sean could ever do had any hope of threatening that connection.
But she was a sadistic and vindictive person.
She had saved his life so recently and then turned around and ruined it.
Why?
Because she was bored? Because she thought it was fun? The more Sean thought about it, the more sure of it he became. She was screwing with his life, his happiness, and his continued existence for no other reason than it made her happy to do so.
“The fuck are all of you looking at?” Sean cried out, addressing all of the gathered Chain Gang members and ranch hands while not taking his eyes off Jessie. “Show’s over. Get your asses back to work! We have a fucking battle to plan for.”
He was impressed that he had managed to keep his voice from breaking because all he wanted to do right then and there was collapse onto the ground and sob uncontrollably. But he kept his composure as the crowd begrudgingly broke up and started to wander away.
Jessie, however, stayed perfectly still, arms folded as she leaned against a wooden fence. Sean stared at her with a burning fury. If it were possible to kill with a look, Jessie would have been dead a dozen times over at this point.
“Fuck off,” he spat at her, pushing the words out with all of his shuddering dark rage.
Jessie snorted a short laugh and rolled her eyes dramatically. “That one was for Maverick,” she said slyly, giving Sean another wink before sauntering away.
Sean didn’t believe that for a second. Sure, Maverick had been skilled and useful, but Jessie had no love for the man.
She was smart enough to know that Sean needed to remain alive if Chainz was going to continue expanding.
But she was also cruel enough to screw with his happiness for her own twisted pleasure.
The selfish desires of this horrific person made Sean feel sick to his stomach.