38
EMERSYN
True to what Riggs said that night, after every job, I was expected to show up to his bedroom and have sex with him.
The first few times were hell as I tried to navigate the mine field that was Riggs’ emotional state.
Everything I did seemed to trigger him, and I came out of those times more beat up than I ever got in the field.
He was rough, violent and selfish. But, I was adaptable and I soon discovered what it took to play the game.
Once I figured out how to appease him, the violence wasn’t as intense and I resigned myself to the inevitable.
If the other men noticed, they stayed out of it. I’d always known they were loyal to Riggs, and this solidified it. It was easy for them to see me with a black eye and claim it was a casualty of the job, and not from their team leader, and friend.
Except for Hangman. Hangman specifically would look me up and down every morning after a job.
In the beginning, he would check in and his continuous questions were annoying, but endearing.
I even caught him in a few heated conversations with Riggs, but eventually those dwindled, as did the concerned questions. I’d made my bed and he knew it.
Unfortunately, with this new game I had to play, I developed a disastrous anger issue.
The house always suffered the worst of it, as after jobs I’d come back and adrenaline dump into the walls or doors.
I knew I risked too much if I took it out on Riggs, so I got as much of it out of my system as I could before I had to disappear into that hell.
Tonight was no different. I walked into the house with Riggs on my heels as he picked apart everything I’d done wrong in the field.
“You took that corner too fast.”
“Why didn’t you wait for me to clear that room?”
“You’re a fucking shit shot, Syn.”
None of it was true, but it was hard to not let some of it sink under my skin.
With little else to occupy my time, I’d taken to honing my skills until I executed at a level that was hard for the men to ignore.
Except for Riggs. Nothing I did was ever good enough.
I slammed my fist into the nearest door as I passed.
“Typical woman,” Riggs scoffed. “Way to get emotional.”
I stopped in my tracks and for a brief moment, I contemplated hitting him, but he sauntered off to the kitchen before I could speak. I stared murderously at his back until Jamal gently bumped my shoulder.
“Great job tonight, Syn,” he said quietly.
Hangman did a chef’s kiss. “Textbook perfection.”
Some of my anger dissipated. At least Riggs’ criticisms weren’t shared by the team.
I headed to my room, only to round the corner of the hall, and there was Riggs headed toward me.
I’d hoped to at least have a minute to myself before I had to go to him, but it looked like I wasn’t going to be that lucky.
Riggs followed me into my room, and I resigned myself to what had to happen.
He grabbed my face and pressed his lips to mine.
His kiss was bruising, mostly teeth and tongue.
I turned my head and shoved him toward the bed, hiding my resistance to his kiss behind the guise of pulling my shirt off.
He ripped his own shirt off, then pants until he was naked.
I followed right behind him, and we collapsed onto the bed.
I hissed as he shoved two fingers inside me, but my body was already wet for him.
It’s like the damn thing knew what to do already.
No time was wasted as he lined up his cock.
He bent down to kiss me again, but I turned my head.
I didn’t want to kiss him. It was too intimate, and made me think about things I wanted in a relationship but didn’t have.
I felt too close to him when we kissed, and it made me all too aware of all the ways I was complicit in this disaster.
Plus, a small part of my brain wanted to keep that sacred.
Riggs was quickly taking everything, and most of the time I felt unmoored, and out of control of my own life.
I shoved those thoughts away before they could escalate and get out of hand.
It was not healthy to think too hard about what I was doing.
Especially because sometimes on jobs, all the killing made my control slip, and all I wanted to do was sink into it.
The darkness inside me would surge and instead of becoming too much, everything was just right.
The death, the blood, the feel of the gun or knife in my hand, and the subsequent fire that burned it all to hell after—it was beautiful and dangerous.
I allowed my mind to go blank as Riggs buried his cock inside me in one hard shove. I knew what he wanted, so I groaned and wrapped my legs around him. I’d quickly learned if I faked it, he finished faster and was less mean. He picked up the pace and I settled into my act.
A few minutes later, I could tell Riggs was close, but suddenly he stopped and pulled out. I felt his cock against my ass. My eyes flew open and I glared at him.
“No.” I’d managed to hold him off from doing this by redirecting anytime he got exploratory, but I knew Riggs would only tolerate that for so long. The head of his cock pushed, the no going unheard, and ignored, as usual.
I locked my hands against his shoulders. “No, Riggs—you have to warm me up first.”
“It’s fine,” he breathed. “I’ll go slow.”
Yeah, right.
I didn’t have the breath to scoff as anxiety and fear stole it from me. Riggs spit on his hand and brought his fingers to my hole. The pressure was intense and threatened to send me spiraling into the past.
“At least use lube,” I gasped. “Please.”
My voice wavered, but Riggs scowled and grabbed the bottle on the nightstand.
“Come on, Syn,” Riggs stated. “Don’t be a little bitch about it.”
He hastily lubed up his cock and pushed it against my asshole.
“Riggs, stop—that hurts—”
He only pushed harder and broke through the resistance with a scowl at my protests. He slammed a hand across my mouth when I cried out, and tears I said I’d never shed again ran unchecked as the pain only intensified.
“Relax, baby,” he purred.
Riggs bent down and licked my tears, slowly stroking deeper into my ass and groaning with each wince and cry I made against his palm.
My nails dug into his chest and I fought to relax, knowing it would hurt less that way.
A few shallow strokes helped ease him up to the hilt.
I closed my eyes and hoped he’d finish quickly.
The hand left my mouth, only to slap me across the face.
“No, no—” He panted. “Eyes on me. I want to see you take my cock in that tight ass.”
His hand went back over my mouth, and I glared angrily at him. Riggs pumped into me, his attention flickered between my face and his cock.
“I’d wipe that glare off your fucking face if I were you, brat,” he snarled.
He pushed my legs up, and the angle became excruciating. I whimpered and fought to lower them. He slapped me across the back of the thigh. I tightened involuntarily at the sting and he groaned.
“Fuck, you feel good,” Riggs murmured.
He slid two fingers into my pussy and stroked roughly in tandem with his thrusts.
Sometimes I felt the ghost of pleasure lick my insides, but he never cared enough to listen to my body, and this time was no different.
I wasn’t going to come, but I knew what he wanted.
I groaned and gripped the sheets as I forced myself to gasp like he hit the right spot.
“That’s it,” Riggs growled. “I know you like it, fucking pain slut.”
I glared up at him, but he only smirked and drilled into me until he tumbled over the edge of pleasure. He jerked his hips as the last waves crashed over him and he collapsed on top of me.
“God, that felt good,” he panted. “Did you come?”
“Yeah—” I lied.
I climbed off the bed and fought through the haze of rage at his words. He grabbed my wrist in a firm grip and I looked over in annoyance.
“Stay with me,” he demanded.
“No. I’m going to shower,” I said, flatly.
“Please, Sinny.” The dangerous look in his eyes contradicted his soft tone.
“Not tonight, Riggs,” I insisted.
I gently extracted myself and pulled on my clothes. I felt his gaze drill into my back until the door shut behind me. I made my way through the house toward my bedroom, but detoured into the kitchen to grab some water. I rounded the corner and ran into Hangman.
“Whoa, careful, pretty girl,” he chuckled, and placed a steadying hand on my arm. He was freshly showered and smelled like his spicy body wash.
“Sorry,” I muttered.
I carefully moved around him and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.
“Lots of leftovers in there,” Hangman said.
“Thanks, I’m not hungry.”
Hangman frowned when he saw the tear tracks down the dirt on my face. I quickly looked away, suddenly exhausted. I really wanted that shower. Hangman gently lifted my chin.
“Everything okay?” He asked quietly.
I fought to keep my breath steady and my lip from trembling at the soft touch.
“I’m fine.”
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Riggs demanded.
We both exploded apart like we’d been doing something wrong. Riggs shoved Hangman aside and grabbed my wrist in a bruising grasp.
“You declined to stay with me because why—you’re going to shack up with him instead?”
“What?” Hangman and I exclaimed at the same time.
“No! Riggs, that’s not it at all!” I continued.
“No way, man, I was just grabbing a drink and I ran into her,” Hangman protested.
Riggs whirled to face him and shoved his chest hard enough to make him take a step back.
“Back the fuck off,” Riggs snarled. “I know you always had a thing for her, but she’s mine.”
Hangman held up his hands, his mouth in a firm line, but he had a dark look on his face that made me nervous. At that moment, I knew without a doubt, Hangman would protect me if I asked. I knew that would only make everything worse.
I grabbed at Riggs. “He didn’t do anything!”
Riggs ignored me and stepped up to Hangman. “Next time I see you touch her, you’ll regret you ever did. Do I make myself clear?”
Hangman didn’t move for a long moment. I held my breath, my eyes pleaded with him over Riggs’ shoulder to stand down. Hangman nodded curtly. His gaze jumped one last time to me in concern and disappointment, before he left the kitchen.
Riggs turned. “Get cleaned up,” he snarled. “Then bring your stuff to my room. You’re staying with me from now on.”
“What the fuck? No way!” I exclaimed.
He grabbed my neck, and a quick shove sent me crashing into the fridge.
“You’re mine, Syn,” he growled. “It’s time you acted like it.”
“And if I don’t?” I whispered.
“You think you could do all this without me?” Riggs’ lips curled. “Where would you go? You have no one. No one except me.”
His words hit hard enough to take my breath away because he was right, and it pissed me the fuck off. I shoved him away and he let me go to my room. Genuine fear of how unstable he was kept me from standing my ground or escalating things too much, but this was getting out of hand.
I had no idea what to do except to obey him. I didn’t have anywhere to go. I didn’t have anyone to turn to except for him and the team. With cold clarity and despair, I realized I was once again in another cage with no way out in sight.