89
THERON
I found her outside throwing a stick to her wolfdog. I came and stood nearby. The midday sun was warm, but it was almost fall and didn’t hold quite the power it had a few weeks ago.
“He’s quite the creature,” I said. “How old is he?”
Emersyn came and stood beside me after she threw the stick out across the lawn.
She shrugged. “When I met him he was a few months from turning one I think, so he has to be around thirteen now.”
We watched Fang. He definitely moved like he was up in years, but he still had that happy dog energy, even if he didn’t race after the stick as fast as maybe he might have in his younger years.
Getting old was a bitch, and didn’t I know it.
“Griffin said you helped navigate them through the forest on the island,” I said. “Where’d you learn all that stuff?”
Fang came and dropped the stick at her feet. She frowned as she picked it up and tossed it away.
“His name was Sacha. He was an ex-Russian spy and special ops instructor.”
Her gaze jumped to mine briefly as I stared in shock, but stayed silent.
“He found me after the clearing. I stayed with him for about five years I think,” she said.
I didn’t want to ask, but I had to know. “Was he–kind to you?”
She smiled and it was tinged with grief and nostalgia. “He was a grumpy old man, but yeah—” She nodded. “He let me put up a Christmas tree.” Fang brought the stick back and she threw it again. “He taught me a lot.”
I was impressed. But, I also was jealous of a man I’d never met.
The one who got to teach my daughter all the things I might have taught her.
I’d seen her shoot already down in the gun range, and I’d felt the same way then.
I’d started teaching her when she was younger and then everything happened. I’d missed out on so much.
“I’m glad,” I said gruffly.
“Not what you were expecting?” She sounded apprehensive.
I fully turned to face her. “I didn’t expect that, no. But—” I sighed and my lips twitched. “You’re also my daughter.”
I couldn’t help the breath of amusement that escaped. “Hell, half the time I was envisioning you ordering your kidnappers around, or causing an insane amount of havoc, or driving them crazy with your sass.”
She smiled, and it was like the storm cleared from her eyes. “It was like that sometimes.”
“Good,” I swallowed and gave a hard nod. I hated thinking about her in those situations, far from a kind hand and my safe arms.
“Do you have your sniper classification?” I asked.
She nodded.
I hummed in affirmation. “I knew when you were young that was probably going to be where you landed. You were always so meticulous with a firearm—even if it was only a .22.”
Fang came, dropped the stick and she threw it again. He bounded off.
“Twenty-three-hundred yards,” she added, unable to hide the pride. “That’s my record.”
I squeezed her shoulder with a small proud smile. She seemed to relax under my approval, and I realized part of her must wonder if I’d disapprove of what she’d become in the space we’d been apart. I urgently wanted her to know that would never be true.
“It’s not that I don’t think you’re capable,” I said.
“Even if you didn’t have all of that training.
You’d be capable because you’re you. And I love you for that fact alone.
Nothing more, nothing less.” Her eyes filled with tears, and I forced the words out before I couldn’t speak.
“I want you to know I will never judge you for what you had to do to survive. Who you’ve become isn’t necessarily a surprise to me, but I’m still proud of you.
I know I have mixed feelings about you coming along to the island, but I hope I get to see you in action.
” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes briefly.
“Even if I’ll be fighting myself not to keep you in a bubble the entire time. ”
I opened my eyes just in time to see Emersyn wrap herself around me in a hug.
I didn’t hesitate to hold her tightly with no reservations.
We stood like that, even after Fang came and dropped his stick at our feet and wandered off to explore for lizards in the bushes.
Emersyn pulled away only far enough to watch Fang, with her arm still around me, and mine around her shoulders.
She rested her head against me, and the last of the grief that surrounded my heart shattered.
She was home. She was safe.
For now, that was enough.
Later that evening, I was in the bedroom I shared with Graham and Kaelin. I slowly unbuttoned my shirt, lost in thought. Arms came around from behind, and I caught Kaelin’s scent as she pressed herself against my back.
I sighed heavily. “I forgot what it feels like.”
“What?”
“This ridiculous conflict between wanting her to be strong and independent and be able to do whatever she wants, and also the terrifying fear that something will happen to her.”
Kaelin chuckled against my back. “Being a father looks good on you.”
“She’s twenty-six,” I muttered.
“So? Pretty sure how old she is doesn’t matter one bit.”
I turned around and wrapped my arms around her.
“Shouldn’t I put my foot down and make her stay home?
” She opened her mouth to respond, but I kept talking.
“But, then part of me wants to see her in action because she was always my little shadow. I remember the first time I let her hold a gun, I saw this look in her eyes.” I shook my head.
“It was way too serious of a look to be on a child’s face.
I knew then she’d follow in my footsteps in some way. ”
I sighed again. “I just feel like whatever decision I make, I’m fucking something up.” That was hard to admit, but when I noticed Kaelin’s knowing smirk, I frowned down at her. “What?”
“I think that’s called parenting, my love,” she said.