Chapter 7 #4
I chuckled, rubbing my nose against her temple. “If you’re so okay with this, then undo my pants and put the condom on me.” For good measure, I even had the rubber packet already broken open. Lu’s eyes went wide and I saw her swallow hard. Almost nervous like. Which was not like Lu.
But she was no coward.
She stepped forward, chin high, and turned her back onto the middle of the club where Pauly was tying Emi’s hands above her head.
Any minute now, the DJ would lower the music down to make the announcement inviting others to come up and fuck her.
I saw Tangaloa and some of his people start to step forward.
They would keep the others back as Makana and my guys took first dibs.
In a quick, jerking motion, Lu undid the button of my shorts. Her touch was rough, hurried, as she pulled my cock out. I was only half-hard, and that had everything to do with Lu touching me and nothing to do with the scene currently taking place across the room from us.
She yanked the condom from my hand so hard that she nearly dropped it. After pulling it from the packet, she placed the folded latex on the rounded head of my cock before rolling it down.
The one thing she didn’t do was meet my eyes as she did it. And I caught the slight tremble of her hands, the stiffness of her back.
She didn’t want this, yet she wasn’t stopping me. Why the fuck not? What exactly did she think she would prove by watching me fuck another woman?
After a quick roll of her shoulders, Lu looked up at me. There was such defiance in her eyes that it nearly covered the pain of what she was doing.
I kept myself from asking her, though. She was a big girl who was making her own decision. I leaned forward. “Now kiss me,” I ordered.
Lu tried to cover her flinch, but failed. Still, she rose up on her tiptoes to kiss me quickly on the lips. It was ridiculous, like she was kissing a relative goodbye. Have it her way, though. When the announcement came over the speakers, I started forward with the other actors.
As Makana got to Emi first, I hung back.
I still had no intention of actually fucking Emi, but I couldn’t be standing here with my dick half-hard, condom hanging loosely, and my pants undone on camera.
Like the others near me, I started to pump my cock in anticipation of fucking this woman now available and crying from the humiliation her boyfriend was putting her through.
Emi certainly could act, but then, I already knew that.
I’m not entirely sure what made me glance over my shoulder just then. But I did, and in that moment, I saw the utter pain on Lu’s face as she stared directly at my back.
Fuck. This.
I stepped out of line of the cameras, ripped the condom off my dick, but didn’t bother to zip myself back up.
Charging to Lu, I none too gently took her by the arm and dragged her down the hallway to our immediate right where the bathrooms were.
Just before we entered, I caught Tangaloa’s eye and he gave me a nod.
Since the music was still too loud for the conversation we were about to have, I pushed open the men’s room door and pulled Lu inside with me.
We were alone. As soon as the door closed, muffling the loud shouts and music from the main room, I threw the lock and pushed Lu’s back against the door.
She was wearing a sexy as fuck sarong skirt and a bikini bra with a see-through top.
When she’d gotten dressed earlier in the night, I’d taken the shorts she had been about to put on and replaced them with this skirt.
I knew my Lu, and I knew that she was stubborn enough to take whatever this was to the very last possible moment, which would lead us to have another talk.
Never thought I’d enjoy talking so fucking much.
An easy tug of the knot and her sarong was on the floor. A quick swipe of my pocket knife removed her thong. While she stood there, letting me disrobe her, she wasn’t an active participant. She still wouldn’t meet my eyes.
Dropping to my knees, my cock nearly at full mast but not quite there yet, I buried my face in her bare pussy. She was wet, meaning her body wanted me. Pulling away, I looked up her perfect form, past her flat belly and her round tits to her face. She still wasn’t looking at me.
I moved one of her knees up to my shoulder, widening her glistening entrance for my viewing pleasure.
In my line of work, I saw a lot of naked bodies.
I got asked once how I could work with other naked men.
My answer was as simple as it was true: men don’t affect me.
I was able to stand in a half-circle of naked men with all of our dicks out because I was entirely concentrating on the woman or women in our midst. The other guys were barely a blip on my radar. My sole focus was her.
And that had been true. For years of silent suffering, of quiet self-punishment, I had concentrated on whatever woman was in front of me because it kept me from thinking of this woman. My woman. My wahine. The one I’d let walk away.
I’d fucked her three times now, but I had yet to taste her.
To take my time and relearn every inch of her form.
I couldn’t do that now. As much as I wanted to, she deserved better than a men’s room in a night club where a free use porn shoot was taking place just on the other side of the door.
Even I wasn’t that much of an asshole. At least, not when it came to Lu.
But I’d made her a promise that we wouldn’t talk without me being inside her, and I would never break a promise to her again.
Burying my face between her spread legs, I inhaled deeply.
There were several scents that I attributed to ‘home’.
The salty air of the ocean, the earthy aroma of sand, the musk of Koa, the leather of my hat…
None of it compared to the sweet tang of Lu.
I swore I’d be able to pick out her scent from a Pussy Lineup.
I could remain here with my face between her legs, just breathing, and be content.
But I still needed answers, so I unfortunately pulled away. She was wet enough to take me, and I’d only make her more so once I was inside her.
That torn expression was back on her face as I stood, and it gutted me like a dull knife dipped in salt.
Despite that I had fucked her twice so far today, she was tight as I fitted my cock inside her.
Her hands touched me as they always had and her legs still wrapped themselves around my hips, like she wanted to secure my body to hers.
But I absolutely hated that she wouldn’t look at me.
Even when she’d broken up with me, she’d looked me in the eyes.
Once I was fully seated inside her, I demanded, “Talk. What the fuck is going on? I don’t want to fuck Emi. You don’t want me to fuck Emi. Yet you put a condom on me and push me towards her? What the fuck, Lu?”
She closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the door. I was entirely holding her up. Her breaths were staggered, and a single tear escaped the corner of her right eye. I leaned forward to lick it away, but froze at her words. “I can’t do this.”
Lifting my head without wiping away her fallen tear, I asked, “Do what?”
Her chin trembled. “You’re…too much. You’re so intense. I haven’t even had a chance to think about letting you back in my life, and you just bulldoze your way back into it. I can’t… I feel like I can’t breathe.”
Slowly, I straightened, leaning back slightly but no more. She wanted space, but that was the one thing I couldn’t give her. Not again. “You’re mine, Lu. You love me. What more do you need to know?”
Her laugh was cynical. I didn’t particularly like it.
She opened her eyes. “You know, you keep saying that. Rubbing my love for you back in my face without ever giving me anything in return.” She angrily wiped at her wet cheeks as more tears fell.
“Same ol’ Aloiki. Has to be so tough and strong that he can’t even say three simple words to let me know he still cares. ”
Three simple words? What the fuck was she talking about? “What? ‘I love you’? Lesū Kristo, Lu, I tell you that I love you all the time.” Or I had, before she left me.
But Lu shook her head. She held up four fingers. “The entire time we were together, you told me you loved me four times, Aloiki. Four. And not one of those times has been since we reunited last night. Yet you’re practically forcing me to get back together with you!”
Four? That can’t be right. I had to have said it more than that.
Right? I shook my head. “I said it—” But I stopped my argument as she shook her head again, slower and more deliberate this time.
Lu wasn’t one to exaggerate or make shit up.
I mean, it was possible, but damn. Four times?
That seemed so… We were together nearly six years. That was less than once a year.
I took her chin in my hand. I made sure she was looking directly at me as I said without stumbling.
“I love you. Maybe I didn’t say it enough.
Maybe I said it in my head more than I said it out loud.
” My grip tightened. “But don’t you ever doubt it, Lu.
It’s you. It’s always been you. And when you left me, I broke.
Nothing mattered anymore. I fucked and I drank and I surfed…
but there was no life left in me until I saw you again last night.
” I lowered my head to kiss her lips. “If you need me to say it more then I’ll set a reminder on my phone.
I guess I’m more of a show-and-tell kind of guy than I am a shout-from-the-rooftops guy. ”
Lu stared up at me, her eyes less sad. “I don’t want you to change, Aloiki, but maybe try for four times a year instead of four times a decade? Please?”
Fuck. I couldn’t remember the last time Lu had ever asked me for something like this. She was usually so independent, and maybe I took advantage of that. Bringing my other hand up, I cupped her cheeks between my palms. “I love you. I love you. I love you. There, now I’m covered for the next year.”
Her chuckle was low. “Not what I meant.”
Yeah, but at least I got her to smile. “Now, will you tell me what that was out there?”
She crinkled her nose adorably. “It’s so stupid.
Back at my apartment, you kept saying how I was yours and how I love you and making decisions for me without asking.
I just… I panicked.” Her expression turned more morose than sad.
“I can’t do this again, Aloiki. Not if we’re just going to end up with me walking out again.
I can’t do it. You say me walking out on you killed you?
You didn’t see me for the first year after I left.
If Nishi hadn’t come with me to California, I’m not sure I would have survived.
My new job fired me within weeks because I kept crying at work and having panic attacks.
I had to dip into my savings just to pay rent.
It was awful. I couldn’t…function.” She let out a self-deprecating laugh.
“In a weird, twisted way, watching your porn channel actually helped me.” I raised an eyebrow, but she just shrugged. “I never claimed to be sane.”
I laughed at that. “Baby, it’ll be different this time. I swear.”
“You made a promise to me once before,” she reminded me sadly.
I nodded, guilt making my stomach churn uncomfortably.
“I did. And I hate myself for going back on my word. That’s how I know this time will be different.
I’m not joining back up with my old activist group, Lu.
I’m building something. I am in charge this time.
And I’ll have people at my back. We won’t just be a band of renegades, as we were recently dubbed.
We’ll be closer, brothers, a family. You’ll have more than just me, Lu.
And I swear to you.” I ducked my head down to kiss the top of her head.
“I swear that I will tell you everything. No more secrets, not between us.”
Her arms reached around me. “Don’t break my heart again, Aloiki.”
“I swear it. And if I do, you’ll have an entire club at your back who won’t hesitate to make me suffer for it. Believe me, they’ll side with you over me every time.”
Lu laughed. “That’s because you’re a bit of an asshole to them. Maybe treat them nicer and they’ll be nicer to you.”
I shook my head, my lips still against her hair. “Nah. I’d rather you have the backing than me. Besides, I’ll never break your heart again, so the point is moot.”
“I almost came back so many times,” she said softly. “Nishi kept encouraging me to call you, to go see you, but I knew what would happen if I did, and I couldn’t risk it.”
Shit. Now I felt bad for thinking so negatively about Nishi.
The girl was a ditz, but she’d still tried to get Lu and I to reconnect.
“You’re like my drug, Lu. I can’t say no to you, and going cold turkey was fucking awful.
That’s why I didn’t come after you, why I didn’t call you.
The only way to get over you was to not think about you. And it fucking sucked.”
“Then it sounds like we’re in this to the end. But we need to communicate more, Aloiki. We need to make sure that we take time for us, outside of work and now your new club. Go riding more or surfing, but just us.”
I nodded against her. “I promise. And,” I made a face, “I’ll try to remember to tell you that I love you rather than just doing things that I think show it.”
“That sounded painful,” Lu laughed, “but I’ll take it.”
Shifting back so I could see her, I looked down into her dark, almond eyes. “Tell me who you are, Luana. Tell me who you belong to.”
There was no hesitation in her answer. “I’m your Ol’ Lady, Aloiki. And I’ll belong to you as soon as you put a ring back on my finger.”
I reached into my back pocket. My wallet was thick, but not with cash or cards. The small, zippered pouch in the middle bulged so much that the seams protested. I pulled out the ring I’d refused to get rid of, even though I’d been tempted on more than one occasion to toss it into the sea.
I slid the black pearl ring back onto her finger. “Done. Now, do you want to go out there and watch the others fuck, fuck here in this bathroom, or head back home where I can fuck you properly in our bed?”
Her eyes lit up. “Option Three, please.”
My smile was wolfish. “Good choice.”