Chapter 4 #2
Aloiki gifted me a maternity kimono, a covering I hadn’t needed before today since he preferred me completely naked at home.
It was pink with sage-colored hibiscus imprinted on the soft fabric.
I was barefoot, which was a common practice here.
The only time I’d been forced to wear kāma?a lole, or sneakers, as standard attire was during the four years I’d lived on the Mainland when I’d left Aloiki.
Holly set the magazine she’d been looking at down on the end table as I took a seat next to her. “I’ve never been to a spa before. Does it usually smell like this?” She crinkled her nose adorably.
The three other women in the room chatted among themselves.
They looked like a mother, daughter, and grandmother party.
Looking at them made my heart hurt, because my own mom was boycotting my wedding.
Both my parents hated Aloiki and thought I’d been knocked up by the spawn of Satan, but it was my refusal to get married in a Baptist church that would keep them away today.
As an only child with no living grandparents, in addition to Nishi’s death, my parents’ absence was hitting me harder than I thought it would.
Māmā was born in Hawai‘i, but her family was Baptist. My makuakāne, my dad, was Polynesian and converted to marry her.
Which was something my makuakāne never let her forget.
I had been baptized when I was a preteen, but I was not Baptist in my heart.
Like Aloiki, I was Kānaka Maoli and followed the spirits of our homeland.
I forced myself to look away. It was Māmā’s choice not to come today, and she would have to live with that fact.
My son wasn’t even born yet and she was already giving me grief about getting him baptized, which was not going to happen.
If she pressed the issue, Aloiki would have no hesitation in removing her completely from our son’s life.
It would only be for my sake that it wouldn’t be permanently from this world.
Putting a smile on my face, I did my best to ignore the gaping hole in my heart. My makuahine, my mom, should be at my wedding. Both my parents should. The fact that they weren’t because of religious differences cut as deep as any knife.
“It’s the oils and incense,” I finally replied.
Based on the expression on her face, I took a bit too long to answer, but thankfully, she seemed to be ignoring the misstep.
“I can’t believe you’ve never been to a spa before.
” My throat tightened and my chin started to tremble as I added, “Nishi and I used to come all the time. Not this one specifically, but there was another that gave student discounts that we had standing appointments at when we were in college.”
Holly reached over and patted my arm by my elbow.
It was awkward and too light, like maybe she wasn’t sure what part of me she was allowed to touch or she feared hurting me if she tapped too hard.
“I am sorry about Nishi. I’m not her, and I’ll never be her.
I’ve never had a girlfriend before, but I like talking with you and hanging out with you.
We’ve never talked about it much, and were really thrown together by the circumstances of our men, but I do want to be your friend, Lu. ”
I reached over and squeezed her hand. “You are my friend, Holly. What happened to Nishi does not change that, and I would never expect you to replace her.”
She smiled. I liked seeing the joy brighten her face. I’d only ever seen it before when she looked at Bacon. I hadn’t realized she needed the verbal confirmation of our friendship, or I would have said something to her a lot earlier than this.
One of the spa workers entered the waiting room and addressed the three-generation party, “We’re ready for you, if you’d follow me please.
” As the women stood and collected their belongings, she turned to Holly and me.
“I’ll be right back for you. The manicurist is getting the last of your supplies ready. ”
I chose the deluxe package, which included a hot wax mani-pedi and citrus peel.
I wasn’t picky, so I let Holly choose her own style and color for the wedding.
She’d offered to wear a wig, to look better for the pictures, but I told her it wasn’t necessary.
I wanted her to be comfortable. She seemed relieved by my answer, which made me glad.
I did not want to be one of those bridezillas who turned into a Reddit story online.
“Mahalo,” I answered her. I didn’t mind sitting here another few minutes anyway. I was nearly done with my glass of water and should have another after my massage. After she escorted the trio out of the room, I turned back to Holly. “Can I ask you something?”
She raised a curious eyebrow. “Uh, sure?”
“Do you and Bacon plan on getting married?” By my estimate, the two had been together for about two years now.
Holly shook her head, but there was no disappointment on her face. “We talked about it, but it’s not something either of us are interested in.” She touched her thick, black metal necklace, with the imprint of feathers on it. “I have my commitment from Master Mal, and don’t need a ring too.”
I had read enough erotica to understand the significance of the Collar.
It was like a marriage in the BDSM world.
“I didn’t mean to insinuate anything. I was just curious.
” I rested my hands over my large belly.
My son liked to sleep during the day and was most active at night, unfortunately.
If he was like that once he was born, I was assigning Aloiki to night duty.
Realistically I knew that wasn’t probable, but I liked it in theory.
Holly shrugged. “I don’t mind. And to answer your question before you ask it, no, we don’t plan on having kids.”
I snorted, and quickly said, “I hadn’t either,” so she didn’t think I was making fun of her. “Aloiki and I were both adamant about not having kids.” I motioned to my very large belly. “Things did not go to plan.”
“Master Mal said it was because you didn’t use protection.”
Her point-blank delivery took me by surprise, but I also shouldn’t be alarmed that the details of how I got pregnant were known throughout the club.
Hell, there’s a good chance Red, Aftermath, Tangaloa, Rory, the twins, and Tommy had watched me conceive my son when Aloiki fucked me up against the wall of the warehouse where he’d rescued me.
Still, I scratched my head, feeling a little awkward. “I don’t regret getting pregnant, but yeah, there was definitely a lack of protection on both our parts. I think we were subconsciously trying to make a baby after being reunited.”
“I can’t imagine walking out on Master Mal. What did Paniolo do to make you walk like that?” she asked, using Aloiki’s road name. Tangaloa and I were the only ones who still used his birth name.
“It’s hard to believe now, but I thought his life was too dangerous, and he almost died.
I got scared. I didn’t want to lose him, and I made him promise that he would stop.
In his defense, he did for a time, but then he broke that promise.
I admit now it was a mistake. Hell, I knew then it was a mistake.
It wasn’t fair of me to try to change him.
If I loved him, truly loved him, I should have been able to accept all of him. But I was scared, and I left.”
And I was miserable from the second I walked out his front door.
I wanted to go back, hated myself for my choice, but was too stubborn to admit my mistake.
I glanced down at my engagement ring on my finger.
It wasn’t a diamond, but a Tahitian black pearl.
He’d worked long and hard to earn the money for it, and I’d selfishly given it back to him.
“I’ll never regret anything more in my life than I do not being strong enough to stay back then,” I admitted. “So many things would be different now if I had.” Nishi would still be alive, for one.
“I know a lot about regrets,” Holly said softly, twisting her hands. “And I know a lot about overcoming them.” Her unique, aquamarine eyes were intense. “If you want to talk about it more, I’m here for you.”
I smiled at her offer as the employee returned to the waiting room. “Mahalo,” I told Holly softly before turning my attention to the woman.
“We’re ready for you now,” she announced. “If you’ll follow me… I’ll also get you more cucumber water once you’re situated at your stations.”
Holly patiently waited for me to get to my feet. She was so tiny, I didn’t want to accept the hand she offered to help me stand. I tightened the seams of my kimono to ensure I wouldn’t flash anyone.
In the hallway, we passed the oldest of the three women who had been in the waiting room with us earlier. She smiled kindly at us as she headed towards the bathroom.
But then she paused, stepping in front of me. I barely stopped in time before I walked into her. “Babies are such a blessing,” she said in a sweet, grandmotherly voice. Resting her hands on my belly, she asked, “When are you due?”
I immediately stepped back, not wanting anyone, let alone this stranger, touching my stomach.
“In about two months,” I answered curtly.
This was not the first time people had tried to touch my belly, and I did not understand why people thought they had the right.
I’d heard somewhere that some thought it was good luck to rub a pregnant belly, like I was some sort of rabbit’s foot.
“Almost there,” the woman praised with a wide smile. Once again, she stepped forward with both of her hands raised to touch my belly.
Before I could step out of her range, though, Holly struck.
The only person I’d ever seen move as fast as she did was Aloiki.
She was like a cobra, striking without remorse.
In an instant, she had the woman’s wrist in her fist and snapped it upward.
I heard something pop a second before the woman screamed in agony.