Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
~ Shade ~
Despite their obvious desire, Galen and Raith don’t complain as Thane carries me away.
The four of us can’t be together at the same time or it would trigger the bond, and Queen Krosia would definitely kill me then.
Not to mention, I have no idea what would happen to my mates.
Beware the bond of your beloved mate. We can’t risk it.
Not when our bond could destroy them and make us lose this war.
More pain goes through me as I remind myself that bonding is impossible, and I focus on dragging shallow breaths into my lungs.
Thane takes me to his room, and when we’re beside the bed, he gently lowers me onto the mattress.
My head sinks into a silk pillow, and he takes the nest from my hands, resting my creature’s egg on the bedside table.
“How bad is it?” Thane asks me, moving onto the mattress as well.
I’m not sure if it’s the intense desire or the pain that’s making me dizzy. “It hurts,” I whisper. It’s bad enough that I want to cry, but I hold back my tears. I don’t want to worry them.
Knox is staring at me like he can feel the waves of agony as they hit me, and he moves to my other side on the bed, his fingers tracing gently over my skin. It’s weird to think it wasn’t too long ago when he’d acted as if he hated me. Now he looks at me as if I’m his entire world.
When I whimper again, he catches my cry with his lips, swallowing the sound, and just that contact, that one searing, fiery kiss dulls the pain a little. It’s just enough to take the edge off. When he kisses me it’s like light and darkness colliding in a single touch.
I grab hold of him like he’s a lifeline tethering me to sanity.
I feel him unravel, falling into the kiss, and I know he’s not just doing this for me.
I saw it in Knox’s eyes in that amphitheater.
If I was taken from him, he would have risked it all to see the shadow queen dead no matter the consequences.
The thought should leave me terrified, but really, I just feel…
seen. It’s weird thinking someone would miss me if I was gone.
That multiple people would miss me. Especially now that I remember that wasn’t always the case when I was growing up.
Shadows curl around us, and when they clear, we’re all naked. The air is cool against my skin, and Knox takes my pebbled nipple between his teeth as Thane moves his hand between my thighs.
Despite their touch, the pain increases again, and I squirm, my stomach clenching.
The confusing mix of pain and desire has my heart racing, and I gasp when Thane’s fingers slide through my wetness.
The pain dulls again, but an insistent sense of urgency rises in me.
I’m sure I’m imagining it, but I can’t help but feel like I’m being rewarded for having Thane’s fingers between my legs.
My mates work me into a frenzy, teasing and kissing me, and making me squirm, and when I shatter, it’s as if the pleasure heals my pain. Like something inside me is encouraging me, urging me on. More. I feel the word echo through me. Bond. Call for the others.
I push the thoughts away. Stop it, Shade. You know that’s impossible. You can’t bond with them. The moment I tell myself that, the pain inside me surges again, and I cry out.
“Shade,” Thane growls as he watches my face with concern.
“Yes, daddy?”
He doesn’t react to the nickname, his expression remaining serious, and I swallow thickly.
“I need more,” I admit softly, hating how vulnerable I feel, but loving that my mates are here. “It’s helping but it…it still hurts.”
I don’t tell them about the insistent urge to bond. It wouldn’t do any good anyway.
“We’re here,” Knox murmurs as he presses soft kisses to my skin.
He lays back on the bed, and his shadows curl around me, lifting me and pulling me onto him. I study Knox’s dark eyes as I straddle him, and my shadows twist and wind, weaving with his.
“We’ll always be here,” he whispers, like even though we can’t bond, he’s making a promise to me.
The pain in my stomach dulls, and I gasp as I slide onto his cock.
Pleasure takes over, and my breathing becomes ragged as I rock my hips.
“Thane,” I rasp, and my other mate comes up behind me.
Thane drags his teeth over my skin and kisses my shoulder. I lean forward, and he grips my waist as he slowly enters me from behind. So full. I feel so freaking full of my men.
My mates are gentle at first, and as we find a rhythm, I tumble into ecstasy.
By the time we’re falling over the edge together, the pain is completely gone.
My breathing calms, and when I stop shuddering, Knox’s shadows gently lay me back onto the mattress.
My men move to either side of me, their warmth comforting against my skin.
“Feel better?” Thane rumbles, his shadows tangling with mine.
I smile. “Yes, daddy.”
This time his eyes flash with irritation at the nickname, and he punishes me by giving me a bruising kiss.
I grin when he pulls back, only to find he’s smiling as well.
“Good,” he growls.
“How long do you think it will be until the pain returns?” Knox asks.
I shrug. “I have no idea.”
Thane’s dark brows lower, and he shares a look with Knox. “We have to make sure someone’s always there for her.”
My heart skitters. “You mean like…”
“To ensure we always meet your needs,” Knox answers seriously.
A stupid grin crawls onto my face. Holy crap.
Is this really happening? “Well, they do say an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away,” I joke.
I know I should be focusing on the fact that the pain could come back at any time, but they’re discussing giving me orgasms as if they’re talking about scheduling regular medicine doses, and it’s hard not to feel giddy.
Blake is going to freak out when she hears this.
Except…I realize I can’t tell Blake. If I do, then she’ll find out about the unexplained painful episodes, and I’ve worried her enough for one day.
Both of my mates stare at me.
“Don’t you mean an apple a day?” Knox asks. “I’m certain that’s what the saying is.”
I beam at him. “Well, if you ask me, it should be orgasms instead of apples, because I feel much better.”
Chuckling, Thane spreads his hand possessively on my thigh as he moves in closer.
Knox closes in on my other side, his muscled chest pressing against my arm, and I let out a long sigh, relieved to be pain-free again.
Everything is messed up, but somehow, in their arms, I feel safe.
In their arms, I feel like I could be trapped at Shadowbone for a thousand years and still not get enough of them.
Frequent orgasms? Yes, please. I send out a mental thank you to Lady Fate, but deep down, I know the pain isn’t a good sign.
If anything, it feels like a warning. Like the pain is an alarm that keeps going off, reminding me that my time is almost up.
Stop being silly, Shade, that’s not what it means.
It’s just the fated mates connection trying to get you together.
Only, I’ve never heard of pain ever being a symptom of those experiencing the effects of a fated mates connection.
I’m not sure how much time passes before I doze off, but when I wake it’s still dark outside. Thane is sleeping, but Knox remains awake. His fingers trace soft lines on my arms, but his brow is furrowed and he stares into the darkness of the room like he has the entire world on his mind.
When he notices me watching, his lips curve into a smile. “Sleep, my love. Don’t worry, no nightmares will bother you. I’ll never let them torment you again.” There’s a dark look in his eyes when he says it, and I don’t at all doubt that he means that.
“That’s tempting,” I reply softly. “But please don’t.”
His frown deepens.
“Don’t shield me from my nightmares tonight,” I say.
I think of all the memories swirling around in my head, and the blank spots I have yet to fill.
“I know there’s something important I’m still missing.
And there’s one memory in particular that shaped who I am, but every time I try to grasp for it, it’s like it floats away out of reach. I guess I’m hoping…”
“That you’ll find the answers in your dreams?” he finishes for me. “In your nightmares?”
“Yeah.” I know deep down that whatever memory is missing, it’s something I tried to bury and forget, even before Queen Krosia cursed me and wiped my memories.
Something happened that was so bad I tried to mentally erase it from my mind.
And now I’m the stupid one trying to force myself to remember.
A part of me knows I should leave it alone.
That maybe I should be grateful I can’t remember, but curiosity has me wondering.
I know if I don’t figure this out, I’ll never feel whole.
Knox and I stare at each other for a moment, and I think of the time we’d been together before the shadow queen’s curse.
He’d sensed the nightmares lurking in my dreams. He’d asked me about them multiple times back then, and I’d refused to tell him.
I remember wanting so badly to just forget them.
But now I have to know what was so horrible in my past that I’d felt like I was drowning in darkness.
Knox must be able to read my emotions because he doesn’t fight it. “If that’s what you wish, mate,” he tells me simply. “But I won’t let you be consumed by them. The moment you call, I’ll be there.”
Lifting my hand, I link my fingers with his. “Thanks,” I say softly. I know I need to face whatever dark part of me is still buried, but I’m glad I don’t have to face it alone.