Chapter 48
Chapter Forty-Eight
~ Shade ~
Iopen my eyes to find I’m still on the battlefield, frozen in the darkness that has consumed me, though I can still move my head. Tears spill from my eyes, and I don’t try to stop them. Alina’s grave appears again in my mind. I’d tried to forget her.
I’ve been running from my past for so long, and now that I remember, it’s like someone has carved open my chest and left me bleeding.
For the first time in a long while I feel just like I did on that day as I watched Alina die.
Hopeless. Worthless. Useless. I couldn’t save her.
And now I can’t save them. My mates. My friends.
I think deep down I’ve always believed that.
I tried to be a hero once, and a girl had died.
The darkness around me is cloying, like oil that clings to my lashes. I struggle to breathe as the guilt and despair crush me.
“You see it now, don’t you? How worthless you are?
” Queen Krosia drawls like she can read every horrible thought in my head.
Like she can see my shame. She stares at me smugly.
“You couldn’t even save one girl when she needed you.
And to think, the oracle believed you would be a goddess.
” She lets out a shrill laugh. “It’s absurd. Look at you. You’re nothing.”
I scan the darkness around me. At where my mates are still reaching for me, like they’re frozen in time.
Emorie’s wings are outstretched, and Blake and her mates are still trapped.
I look over at Kenzie and the other shadow warriors.
At the zenali who chose to fight when we needed them most. Who stood by us in the end.
And then there’s the oracle…trapped inside the shadow queen forever.
More of my tears fall, because I know the shadow queen is right.
I’m no goddess.
I couldn’t even save one girl when it mattered.
And now I can’t save them.
The darkness curls around me, and I feel the power leeching from my body. Flowing from me as it’s carried away by Queen Krosia’s shadows.
My head grows light, and I know I don’t have long. The moment Queen Krosia has had her fun, it’s over for all of us. I was so stupid to think we could make it…
…Except…the shadow realm deemed us worthy. It gave us our immortality.
Light flashes from somewhere to my right.
A tiny glow.
A flicker of movement.
“Did you see that?” I rasp.
Queen Krosia’s lips twist as she observes me. “See what? Your slow death that I’m so gloriously enjoying?”
The light comes again, this time taking form, shaping and molding into…
My heart nearly stops as a figure comes into view.
“Holy crap,” I whisper. “I must be dead.” I stare at the ghostly girl with long blond hair that reaches past her shoulders, and ears full of piercings. She brushes her pale hair out of her face.
“Not yet,” Alina’s voice is soft but unmistakable. “But you will be if you don’t get your shit together.”
I blink, because I’m sure I must be going mad.
Going by the way Queen Krosia looks straight through the girl, I’m guessing the shadow queen doesn’t know she’s there. Yep, I’m definitely dead.
“Are you death come to take me?” I murmur.
“What? No. That’s dramatic. No, I’m just here to give you a little inspirational pep talk seeing as you’re so crap at them, and to lend a helping hand.”
Despair curls around me, and I think of Alina dying in that alleyway.
As if reliving the memory wasn’t bad enough, now I’m projecting her image just to torture myself.
That’s what this is, right? “What’s the point?
” I say, humoring the hallucination. “I’m not a hero.
I can’t save them. I killed you, didn’t I? ”
She arches a brow, looking unimpressed. “Hang on, is that what you’ve been telling yourself? That you killed me? Wow, you need more help than I thought.”
“Alina, you’re dead,” I state simply.
“Okay true, that is a bit of a bummer,” she replies. “But it’s not so bad. The shadow realm is a fascinating place. Did you know foxret cubs have the cutest little squishy faces?”
I stare at her, realizing that maybe I’m not dead after all. Maybe I’ve just lost my mind. That must be what this is. Or I’m dead and I’ve lost my mind. “You’re dead,” I say more forcefully this time. “I got you killed.”
Alina’s expression becomes serious as she stares at me.
“It’s not your fault I died, Shay. Before you arrived in that alleyway, I already knew my chances of making it out of there alive were slim.
You know, most people would have simply walked away when they saw me cornered like that, but you didn’t… ”
“I was stupid.”
“Oh, definitely,” she agrees. “You should have walked away, too, but you didn’t.
You made the choice to try and save me, and even when you realized you couldn’t, you chose to stay with me.
You risked your own life trying to help me.
Do you know how rare that is?” Her expression softens, a small smile lifting her lips.
“You didn’t fail me, Shay. In my final moments, you gave me hope instead of fear.
You gave me a fighting chance. You might not have saved me, but I didn’t die alone because of you. ”
It doesn’t seem enough. “But it wasn’t fair.”
She shrugs. “That’s life for you. There are countless people dying everyday who don’t deserve their fate.
All I’m saying is that I appreciate that you tried.
” Her smile is bittersweet. “You’re my kind of person, you know.
I bet we would have been besties in another life.
” She peers at Blake, Kenzie, and Satine.
“Though, you’re a bit of a bestie whore, did you know that? ”
A weak smile finally comes to my face, and those damn tears start flowing again.
“You need to stop holding back,” she tells me. “Stop holding onto the past. Like I said, you weren’t the one who failed me and mistakes happen. It’s a part of life.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “You’re really here, aren’t you? But how? Are you a lost soul?”
“I’m here for you.” Her brow creases. “I’m not lost. I knew I could transcend to a higher existence or whatever, but I wasn’t ready. Not yet. No, I had to wait for this moment.”
“So you’ve been waiting here for me all this time?”
She lifts her hands in the air. “Hey, I didn’t mind. It gets real freaky around here, and I mean that in a good way. And I’m happy to be here for you. Because you needed this reminder to let go. To forgive yourself.”
I sniffle. “I’m not a goddess, Alina. I tried—”
“Did you?” She questions. “Because Queen Krosia is right. You’ve been letting the past drain you, and you haven’t even noticed.”
I’m silent for a moment as I think on that, and I realize she’s right.
I haven’t wanted to use my full power. Not since my first day at Shadowbone.
Because if I did and something went wrong, it would be all my fault.
And this time it wasn’t only one life at stake.
Somehow, I helped the students get their immortality, but I was desperate, and the shadow queen wasn’t there.
“Queen Krosia has the oracle’s power,” I point out. “How can I compete with that?”
“Queen Krosia survives on hate,” Alina replies.
“But she was never meant to have the oracle’s power.
All that power does is amplify the magic of the holder.
It’s why she keeps burning the forests to get more.
Deep down she knows she wasn’t the one chosen to hold that power, and that fuels her anger. ”
“But why me when there are so many more deserving of it? I’ll just mess everything up.”
Alina regards me. “You weren’t selected because you were powerful, Shay,” she tells me.
“You were chosen because Lady Fate knew the shadow realm needed someone who would keep fighting, no matter how hard it seemed. You were chosen because you’re the kind of person who runs toward danger to help people, even when you should probably be running away.
” She holds out her hand. “I think it’s time you used the magic the shadow realm is gifting you properly, don’t you?
Long ago you held my hand when I needed you. Now it’s my turn.”
As I stare at her hand, a song starts whispering through the air as ash rains from above. It’s the second verse of the prophecy, and it brings more tears to my eyes.
Where the land bleeds, and the skies fall
Forests of ash, before the final call
Stand as one, our forgotten, lost warriors
For without you…
There will be no times at all.
“Stand with me, Shay. We’ll fight together,” Alina tells me. “One last time.”
More tears stream down my cheeks. I want to tell her it’s impossible, because the shadow queen’s holding me captive, but when I reach for Alina’s outstretched hand, Queen Krosia’s power doesn’t stop me.
Alina’s hand is ice cold, and the moment we touch, I mentally let go of the past. Because Alina’s right. No matter what happened in that alleyway, it doesn’t change the fact that I tried. For her.
Not far away, Blake watches me, still struggling against Queen Krosia’s hold. Her fingers twitch, and she manages to move one of her legs.
Something shifts inside me, a darkness leaving my soul, and for the first time I truly feel my power. Not just the magic that I’d allowed into my system. I feel…everything. Shadow magic explodes inside me, and it’s like I feel connected to the beating heart of the shadow realm itself.
A blinding light shines behind my eyes as power races along my veins, and when I can see again, I’m lifted into the air, shadows swirling around me.
Queen Krosia rages as my power tries to envelope her.
No, not just my power. Our power. The power of the shadow realm and all those within it. At my side, Alina smiles at me broadly, salutes, and then disappears.
My heart pangs, but I keep focused on the shadow queen.
Queen Krosia’s magic pushes back, and she laughs hysterically. “Oh, you think you can stop m—”
She doesn’t finish. Blood leaks from Queen Krosia’s mouth, and she stares down in surprise at where Blake has driven the shadow blade into her chest.
Blake leans forward and gives the shadow queen an unhinged smile. “Yeah, we do. That’s for fucking with my bestie and all the realms.”
Queen Krosia staggers backward, her gaze sliding to me. “How?” she screeches.
I give her a small smile as my shadows retreat from where I’d helped to free Blake. “You were so focused on me, but you forgot I’m not the only powerful female here,” I answer. “Some of us just needed a helping hand.”
Blake winks at me, her golden eyes glowing.
Blood spills from where the dagger sits in Queen Krosia’s chest, and I feel the shadow queen’s magic snap as the oracle breaks free. The moment it does, my shadows restrain the shadow queen like she’d done to me, and my power reaches inside her.
“Knew you had it in you, girl,” Elgen’s rasping voice sounds in my mind as the oracle emerges from Queen Krosia’s body, forming a ghostly hooded shape. The oracle’s ancient power flows into me, amplifying what I have and making me cry out.
It’s too much, and the power starts to overwhelm me.
“Steady child,” Tarlaz says. “You can’t control it. All you can do is direct it. You have all the power of the shadow realm at your fingertips amplified. Rely on your mates. They’ll help you withstand it.”
I wince against the pressure in my skull.
At the burn of the shadows against my skin, that sensation of ice and fire as the power flows through my system.
Breathing heavily, I relax, letting the power wash through me.
Parts of it flows out to my mates, and they growl as they climb to their feet, standing like four protective guardians on the ground below me.
“You’ve done good,” Thane rumbles, his face scrunched with concentration, and tears spring to my eyes because it’s so good to hear his voice. “We’ve got you, mate.”
I nod.
“Alina?” I rasp.
“Still here,” she says, though her voice sounds distant in my ears.
Using all my effort, I direct the power out across the ash-covered land. It races through the forests, extinguishing the fires, and obliterating Queen Krosia’s darkness. And when the land has stopped burning, my feet settle on the ground, shadows writhing over my body.
“Any chance we can do the honors, sunshine?” Raith rumbles in my head as he stands in a half-shifted form and glares at where Queen Krosia is still restrained in shadows.
Knox’s gaze is dark and haunted, and I nod, because I know they need this.
The brothers band together, and power flows from me into them, a single black stream that slams into Queen Krosia.
She screams as it hits her with full force.
It strips her back. Takes everything that she thought was hers.
Takes the gifts she took for granted. The shadow tattoos disappear from her skin, and she scrabbles in the ashes like she’s hoping to find her magic again.
But our power doesn’t stop, and I don’t think my mates are in control anymore. No, this is the shadow realm using us to get justice. Power continues flowing from me into my mates, then into Queen Krosia, taking everything she has until she collapses, and death takes her.
Now that everyone is free, Blake’s mates and the others stand as the prophecy whispers through the air again, floating on the breeze.
The shadow warriors start singing along, and the zenali, demons, angels, and water monsters all hum as well, because everyone on this battlefield knows just how close we came to losing it all.
I send out the power to the far reaches of the realm. To every place that Queen Krosia’s magic touched, and I help to heal, restore, and drive her influence away. The dark clouds above start to clear, but then I feel it.
The compulsion to go further.
To expand my reach.
To let the power wash across the realms.
With this power, I could help more people. Couldn’t I? I shake my head, struggling against the wild, chaotic power that’s overtaking me. It’s like it wants to reach out and explore all the realms in existence.
“Let go, my love, it’s over,” Knox’s voice sounds in my mind, and I’m vaguely aware of my mates around me.
“I-I’m not sure if I can,” I say, because now that I’ve let it in fully, I don’t know how to make the power stop.
“Focus, bonded,” Emorie says soothingly in my mind as she stands close.
“You can do this,” Galen adds and his hand takes mine.
My mates surround me, and together, we slow the flow of power. I can’t stop it completely. I’m tied to the shadow realm now. Tied to the beating heart of this land. But we slow the power to a trickle, and I gasp as the pressure subsides.
The battlefield is covered in ash and blood, but as the sun rises on the horizon, I collapse.
Raith catches me, the light shining on his horns. “We’ve got you, tiny mate,” his monster growls in my mind.