11. Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
Something about the sight of Roman on his knees made Sidian want to cut him open, see Roman bloody and torn in front of him.
Logic would dictate it was because Roman was an alpha, and every single alpha Sidian ever encountered in his life had wanted to hurt him, or had hurt him.
The businessman who convinced his worthless father to sell him like a whore, Pack Kincaid…
So few compared to the world at large, but Sidian had been wary of alphas even before he presented.
Wary, and always aware of hungry eyes gazing at his immature body in just a t-shirt and jeans.
As if that was enough to lure them into the thoughts of what they might do to him.
He wanted to hurt Roman because he was an alpha, and because he couldn’t hurt anyone else who’d wronged him.
But that wasn’t all of it. He wanted to hurt Roman because he enjoyed hurting people, and that very realization kept him from progressing anywhere in his mental health journey.
Roman’s father saw it as a flaw, a symptom of something greater.
It wasn’t allowed to be a part of Sidian because a good little breeding bitch didn’t want to sink its teeth in just to feel the flesh tear and the muscle twitch.
He wanted to hurt Roman because the thought of blood rolling from wounds inflicted by his own hand made his clit throb and his pussy ache to be filled.
Roman’s scent always answered the bloom of Sidian’s own, flames licking his skin as he watched Roman skim his shirt up and over his head.
Ropes upon ropes of muscle, a feast for the eyes, shifting and flexing beneath that sun-kissed olive skin.
There were more scars here and there, and a bitter growl rose in Sidian’s throat because none of them were his.
Roman was his. He should belong only to Sidian.
“Wherever you want,” Roman rasped up at him, and slick trickled into Sidian’s underwear. “Whatever you want, omega.”
Fuck. That single word made Sidian want to shove Roman against the floor so he could ride that pretty face of his.
Sidian had been told it felt good, but none of the alphas who’d ever fucked him did more than rip him open and leave him bloody and raw.
A whine tore from his throat at the memory, more terrifying than it had any right to be, because he didn’t want that.
Not again. He’d been hurt so many fucking times he couldn’t even think straight if a gorgeous man offering himself up for the slaughter was enough to scare Sidian still.
Roman tipped his head back, baring the long line of his throat. A sign of utter submission. “What’s wrong?”
“You listen to me.” Sidian tapped the blade against Roman’s nose, biting back a chuckle when Roman’s eyes crossed to look at it. “Or you don’t get to fucking touch me.”
Those beautiful forest eyes flicked back up to his face. “You were thinking about them.”
“Whole fucking pack, yeah.” Sidian didn’t want to think about Pack Kincaid, but he couldn’t run away from them.
Roman needed to know, and how much longer Sidian could hide the worst of it from him was up for debate.
“The shit they did to me… You ever fucking think in that direction, and I won’t even give you the courtesy of a quick death.
I’ll make sure you beg me to fucking die. ”
Roman’s brows furrowed. “Of course. I’d let you.”
It clicked a moment later, and Sidian bit back a moan, slick gushing out of him like a damned fountain as he pressed his thighs shut.
Roman’s submission was almost more than he could bear, omega hindbrain ill-suited for what it meant to be in control.
He didn’t know alphas could be so submissive, could give in so freely and so openly, and it turned Sidian on so fast he felt dizzy.
And horny, his cunt weeping to be touched.
He ran his tongue across his teeth. “I’m going to cut you. I’m going to hurt you.”
“I hope so.” Roman shifted on his knees, his scent thick and heavy in the air.
“Not just this once. I’m going to do it as many times as I want.
” Sidian flicked the blade, and Roman flinched, though he didn’t respond fast enough.
A thin cut opened on his cheekbone opposite the one Sidian had accidentally left on him in the forest, an almost-matching set.
“And only when I’m satisfied do you get the privilege of getting me off. ”
“I want to.” Roman swallowed, and Sidian watched the collar undulate with the shifting movement. “I enjoyed making you come at the motel. It was satisfying.”
Sidian chuckled and let himself wander back; that had been a good way to wake up for certain. “If you’re really good, I might let you get your tongue on my pussy. How does that sound?”
“Please.” Roman shifted on his knees, his hands twisting into fists atop his thighs. “Please, I want that. If you’ll let me.”
“I’ll consider it.” Sidian cupped his jaw and tilted his head up so he could trace the tip of the blade just under the pout of Roman’s bottom lip. He would let his alpha have it, but only if he could put on an excellent performance and prove just what an obedient dog he was.
There was a lot of room to work with, a lot Sidian wanted to do.
He took his time circling Roman’s body before he stopped behind him, wrapping a hand around one broad shoulder and giving it a squeeze just so he could feel the muscle twitch under his touch.
When he pressed the knife through the flesh, Roman shuddered, but he didn’t move beyond that small, unconscious response.
Sidian drew a thin, neat line across his back, watching as the skin parted around the blade.
There was something so heady about the blood that oozed through the slender cut, a few droplets swelling fat and glossy before they rolled down Roman’s broad back.
Excitement skittered up Sidian’s spine at the sight.
He stepped back and leaned down so he could be closer to the open wound, dragging his tongue over the length of it to taste the hot, coppery fluid.
His clit ached in his underwear, and he dared to reach down to touch it, feeling the puffy swell of it through the fabric as he reached the end of the wound and sucked hard, pressing down on sensitive nerves.
Roman shuddered, his head lolling forward, baring the nape of his neck. “Feels so good.”
“You like it that much?” Sidian tightened his hand on the blade, licking his lips as he considered what he might do. “I want to carve something into your chest.”
“Yes.” Roman looked back at him, pupils blown black. “Lick it clean, too. It hurt so good, omega.”
Omega. It would never stop making Sidian’s cunt pulse. “Fuck yeah.”
Roman stretched out on his back without being told while Sidian dropped across his waist, leaning over to press the tip of the blade into the meat of one pec.
Right over Roman’s heart, he took his time carving his name in a loopy scrawl, giddy at the sight of the letters splitting open Roman’s flesh.
Obsidian. Black all the way to the soul; the perfect and only name for him.
It looked even better etched into Roman’s flesh one long, swooping letter at a time.
He pressed harder on each curve, shuddering when Roman moaned in pain beneath him.
“Good?” he asked, bringing the knife up to his lips to lick a smear of blood from the blade. The dazed expression in Roman’s eyes was gorgeous to him.
Roman laughed, his head rolling to the side even as he winced. “Better than anything I could have imagined. You’re so good to me.”
“And you’re such a good dog.” Sidian tapped the handle of the blade against Roman’s nose and then leaned down to get back to work, aware of his breath shortening, his heart thudding with every stroke of the knife through Roman’s flesh.
As he completed each letter, he dragged his tongue over Roman’s chest, licking hard enough to feel the edges of the flesh giving way, parting a little under his tongue.
The taste was fantastic, but it wasn’t for taste alone.
Alphas and omegas had enzymes in their saliva to help close wounds and heal them, meant to solidify the mating bond, though it worked for this purpose just as well.
Roman handled every letter with ragged noises and low moans, his scent peppery in Sidian’s nose.
Distantly, he knew that he was smearing slick all over Roman’s firm stomach, his underwear now soaked all the way through.
Damn the connection between them, damn the hormones, damn Roman Kane.
“You’re wet,” Roman told Sidian just as he finished licking the N clean, sitting up to study his handiwork. “Fuck, you smell so sweet. Sit on my face and drown me.”
That wasn’t a bad idea at all. “Did you enjoy yourself, alpha? You make such a responsive canvas.”
“See for yourself.” Roman shifted under him, not enough to dislodge him, but enough to get Sidian to glance back over his shoulder at the front of Roman’s hips.
The sight of the bulge there made his mouth go dry.
On another alpha, it would have felt like a threat.
Sure had been fucking used as one more than once, Sidian’s face dragged against denim seconds before he’d been pinned down and—No.
Not going there. Not thinking about that.
None of those alphas were anything like his.
None of them would have trusted him with this, would have wanted this just as much as he wanted to do it.
He traced his fingers just over the ridge of his fly, and Roman shuddered under him. “Goddess, Sid, you’re fucking perfect.”
“Yeah?” Sidian twisted back around, leaning close to Roman so he could go back to work. “Glad you think so. Now let me finish, and I’ll sit on your face.”