Chapter Seventeen
When the fuck is Pack Kincaid supposed to go home?
The question dug its claws into Sidian as he stared at the scenery passing by outside the window, his jaw locked and pure tension coiling through every part of his body.
Not having answers was pissing him off. He knew it wasn’t Roman’s fault; he knew it wasn’t the fault of the people Roman kept in his life, but the anger was there just the same.
The irritation at the fact that those assholes couldn’t be in the one place Sidian needed them to be, the one place they should be.
He wanted Amey back, and he wanted the pack dead.
They would never suffer enough for what they did to him, so he would just have to settle for the grave.
The monotony of driving was getting to him, too.
While he liked just having time with Roman alone, the long hours were wearing on him.
He could only sleep for so long before an inevitable pothole or dip in the road shook him awake, and besides, he didn’t want to just sit around and sleep.
He wanted to do something. He needed to.
Something more productive than just sitting there and waiting.
“Can we stop somewhere?” he asked, and Roman cocked a brow at him. “Just… This is going to sound fucking stupid, but the car’s gonna give me cabin fever. If we can’t go straight to Jersey, is there anywhere we can just hang out for a little while? Just today?”
Somewhere outside, fresh air and green leaves and nothing but the wilderness surrounding them.
Roman checked the rearview before pulling over, digging the map he’d pilfered from the last gas station out of the glove box. “What did you have in mind?”
“I just need to walk around somewhere we don’t have to worry about being seen. That’s all. And you need to stretch those long legs.” At least, Sidian knew he did, and he wasn’t that tall.
Roman was quiet for a moment, alternating between glancing in the mirror and studying the map, finger dragging along squiggling lines in various colors.
As long as Sidian got what he wanted, he was content to wait as long as Roman needed him to, his head resting against the cool glass of the window next to him.
The Ultima stayed warm, but he’d still rather be curled up in a cozy nest somewhere than out there on the road.
Maybe after all of this was done, he could do just that.
Roman had said something about a fancy nest for him one day, hadn’t he?
“There’s a state park not that far from where we’re driving.
We’re heading in its general direction.” Roman folded up the map and slipped it into the glove compartment, satisfied.
“Some trails look easy enough. We can walk around for a while before finding another motel. I doubt many people are going to be hiking in the middle of the work week, anyway.”
“Lifesaver,” Sidian murmured, letting his eyes fall shut. “Wake me up when we get there. I’ll give you a treat tonight since you’re being such a good dog.”
The sharp little inhale of breath made him chuckle. Roman was a good boy.
They pulled off into a small parking lot with just a couple of other cars.
Sidian took the time to stretch before zipping up his jacket, letting Roman pull him in close without a word as he steered them toward the trees.
Roman was warmer than Sidian was; being close to him was nice.
And even better were the fresh air, the wide open space, and just the two of them to enjoy it.
Despite the other cars, they didn’t see anyone else on the trail Roman chose for them.
It wasn’t much of a trail, more like a little dirt path that led to a walk along a river, but it was beautiful.
The water had a clean, fresh, metallic scent, and the trees were lush and green, leaves rustling in a breeze that was only slightly chilly.
It was what Sidian needed. “Thank you, alpha.”
“It’s not a problem. I like it out here more than I do in town or in the city, anyway.
” Roman rubbed his hand up and down Sidian’s back, though it resumed its place at Sidian’s hip as if Roman thought he was going anywhere.
As if. “I’m sorry for that, by the way. I should have been clearer about what this was going to be.
About how much patience it would demand. ”
It would have been nice to know just for the sake of preparation, but Sidian could never be angry with Roman. Not in a way that mattered. “It’s fine. I mean, I’d rather drag ass on the way to Jersey than get picked up by the cops. I don’t even know what they’d end up doing with me.”
“I don’t know, either,” Roman admitted, his hand tightening just enough that Sidian could feel it. Oh, he was worried, and that was fucking adorable. “We take all the omegas from the centers somewhere safe. I do not know what would happen to them if we didn’t do that.”
It wasn’t a surprise that the trained mercenary chose caution, then. Sidian didn’t know what that life demanded of Roman, but he knew he could at least trust him to understand the danger they were in. “How many alphas do you think would be pissed off in their unborn children vanished?”
Roman wrinkled his nose. “The children do not belong to them. They belong to their mothers. And I don’t know. I guess it would depend on whether the packs in question wanted children. Breeding centers are used as brothels just as much as they are anything else.
“And some of ‘em just wanna be cruel for the sake of it,” Sidian muttered, and Roman’s grip tightened further. “Relax. I’m not going anywhere. It’s not like they’re hiding in the trees.”
Roman’s head jerked as a breeze rustled some leaves nearby. “Don’t put that into the universe.”
A wooden bench appeared on the path ahead, and Sidian wriggled away from Roman’s side to sit down on it, letting himself lean back against the wide, comfortable slats.
The river stretched out before them, the rushing waters adding a nice ambiance without being too loud or distracting.
If they were just traveling, Sidian might have liked to stop there just to take a breather.
Roman draped his jacket over Sidian’s shoulders before sitting down, and Sidian burrowed into the smoky, metallic scent that clung to the fibers. “We are going to kill that pack. No matter how long we take to find them. I want to repay them the favor for what they’ve done to you.”
“I know, big guy.” And what would he do when he learned the truth? Sidian didn’t want to think about it. Instead, he shifted closer to lay his head against Roman’s arm, purring when Roman lifted his arm and tugged Sidian’s head against his chest instead.
The low, steady thrum of his heartbeat, elevated as it was, was comforting.
For just a moment, Sidian gave in to his omega’s instinctive need for comfort and touch, letting Roman hold him close and just basking in his presence.
He could not have mated a better alpha, but he knew that the moment he realized he was scenting Roman through the blood and flesh.
No alpha could ever compare, but it still felt like the universe threw the worst possible alphas at Sidian to mock him.
As if he ever needed a reason to appreciate Roman more than he already did.
“The Pit’s not as forested as this, but it’s in the countryside,” Roman said, stirring Sidian from his relaxed state. “The boss wanted us to make sure we got fresh air when we needed it. Some vitamin D bullshit, but we can walk around there like this. If you want to go back, that is.
Sidian thought about it for a moment. “Is the Pit what you call your guys’ house or something?”
“It’s the name of the entire collection of buildings.
The main buildings, the dorms, the storage, and so on.
” Roman gestured with his hand, the other cupping Sidian’s elbow and tugging him closer.
Maybe teasing him about the trees was the wrong move after all.
“The names are silly. I’m not sure who came up with them, but that’s what we call it. ”
Themed naming for a collection of mercenary groups was indeed stupid as fuck, but Sidian found it charming in an immature way. “The guys wouldn’t bother us if we went, would they?”
“No,” Roman said, his brow creasing. “If they tried, I’d chase them away. You don’t deserve to be harassed when you’re just trying to take a walk. They can be a bit much.”
Goddess, he was so stupidly protective, and it was cute. Not threatening or off-putting at all. It was so sweet. “Are you gonna snap and growl at them every time they get too close to me?”
Roman pouted, and Sidian grinned as he leaned up to kiss the corner of his alpha’s mouth.
Baiting Roman was too easy; he was like a dog.
But it was fun just the same, watching him get a little wound up, a little annoyed.
He’d been so put together as a teenager right before everything went to shit, so it was good to see him relax.
To see the seams of his person relax for just a moment.
And then he threw Sidian a curveball. “I’ve been thinking about children on the drive.”
“Oh?” Sidian eyed him. Were there any signs that might have slipped during the drive? Did Roman notice something he otherwise hadn’t before?
Roman took a deep breath, schooling his expression before looking down at Sidian, his eyes twice as vibrant as the surrounding forest. “If you want to be a mother, you should have that opportunity. I would be honored to be the alpha in your life when that happens.”
What was Sidian supposed to say to that?
He opened his mouth, but no sound came out, his stomach clenching as the weight of that proclamation settled on his shoulders.
A pang of guilt tightened his gut, and when the baby fluttered inside of him, he wondered if Roman could ever forgive him.
If he could ever forgive himself for what he was doing.
Maybe he should just tell him. Maybe he needed to get it out. “Roman, I don’t—”
But Roman cut him off with a soft kiss, and Sidian swallowed a whine.
No, he couldn’t tell Roman yet. As much as he wanted to, as good as it would feel to get it all off of his chest, he’d been hiding it for a reason.
He had to put his son first because what kind of mother would endanger their child?
And as cavalier as Roman was being, Sidian couldn’t bank on his reaction.
Not until he saw Amethyst. Not until he understood what this would mean for both of them.
“I want to do this for you,” Roman said, and Sidian bit down on his bottom lip.
It would be okay. He’d get to see Roman hold Amey for the first time after every single Kincaid was dead, and Roman would come through for him one last time.
He had to. He had to. “If you’ll let me, that is.
We can do whatever you want to do as soon as those bastards are dead. ”
Sidian scoffed and kissed him again. “Idiot. I don’t want anyone else but you.”
They sat for a while longer on the bench before the temperature dropped enough for Sidian to miss the warmth of the car.
Roman kept his jacket wrapped around Sidian on the slow walk back, his eyes drifting from tree to tree, resting on the river for a moment.
It didn’t occur to Sidian just how tense Roman had been until he saw him relaxed, his steps easy and meandering rather than purposeful.
Maybe he also needed to get that conversation off his chest, too.
When all of this was over, maybe the nice house and the white picket fence was a possibility.
Sidian tugged Roman’s belt to get the alpha’s attention, shivering when those inquisitive eyes met his. “I think you deserve a treat when we decide to stop for the night.
Roman’s scent grew so hot in the air that it chased away all of Sidian’s chills for just a moment. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed your little rendezvous in the forest, then.”
Sidian knew what he wanted to do to Roman, and what he wanted to try.
Something different from last time, something more involved on his part, something he would do at his own speed.
Pack Kincaid would never allow it, but Roman would let Sidian gag him and tie him up in order to feel that necessary control.
And Sidian thought he might do just that.
Roman would look so sexy with his hands behind his back.