51 | Jessica
Jessica
Iwished for them to come back countless times in those six months. I waited for a month before I moved to New York on my own. I took every dollar I had saved. Since my father was back at work and doing well, I had nothing to keep me home.
He did not need me anymore, and I for sure didn’t want to keep living with ghosts.
My mother’s image haunts that house, and my brother’s cry still echoes in my ears every night, years later.
I tried so hard for that baby to survive, and even though I know I would have failed either way, I could never keep myself from feeling guilty about it.
The boys were the closest to happiness I ever got. And they left me. They saw me, the real me, and they ran away. Not even serial killers want you, Jess. That little voice tells me again, and it is sad how much I believe it.
They didn’t want to stay with me. I wasn’t good enough for them.
Oh well, this is not their choice to make.
I am done being ignored, and my failed attempt to hunt them in the maze was my way of telling them.
No man will leave me behind again. Especially not those deranged assholes. They are stuck with me.
The car stops and someone opens the door. Liam pulls off my blindfold and cuts the rope around my limbs. They are not planning to keep me hostage, which is a good sign.
“Behave, sweetheart,” Nate warns, and I nod.
I look down at the clothes I am wearing. I recognize them—the ones I left on my bed in case I needed to change after the hunt. I also notice the two bags next to me that I had left in my room. They are actually bringing me with them this time.
I had a plan when I left. Get to New York, find them, and bring them back to the maze to teach them a lesson. Letting them fuck me was not part of the plan.
One could argue I was the one who learned a lesson instead of them, but I don’t regret it. They are back, and this time they took me with them. Progress, Jess, this is progress.
As we walk toward the restaurant on the side of the road, the smell of burned bacon hits my nostrils, and I salivate at the thought of it. I am starving. I am not sure when the last time was that I had anything to eat. As if to prove a point, my stomach growls and Mike laughs.
When I turn to face him, he smirks and wraps his arm around me. It is almost like they never left. Like the last six months of misery and loneliness never existed.
“Let’s sit in the back,” Liam announces as he walks inside to find a table. He is avoiding looking me in the eyes. I realize he was probably the one who decided to leave me behind. Guilt washes over him like a wave; this man doesn’t seem to handle emotions well at all.
They all take a seat at the round table, and Mike pulls me to take the one next to him. He is being clingy, and that makes me feel so loved and wanted. It fills my heart with warmth.
The waitress approaches our table to take the order, and Nate takes charge of ordering for everyone, reminding me of the time we went to Rosa’s Diner and I did the same, wanting them to try all my favorite things off the menu.
“We are sorry for leaving you behind, Jessica.” Liam is still avoiding eye contact, but his voice sounds sincere.
“I understand.” I want to make sure he knows I am not holding a grudge. I only wanted them to love me and accept me. I was never truly mad at them, only hurt.