Chapter 6 #3
Bacon remained behind with Holly, Lu, Caroline, and Samantha. Additionally, Saga and Tick were ordered to patrol the grounds, and ensure that no attacks were coming at our home while our heavy hitters were absent.
Neo stayed behind as well, though they would be little help if it came to a fight. At four-eleven, they were better at sneaking into places than battling head on.
In the middle of Church, Lucifer was called away on business involving the community center.
Normally, club business took precedence, and there were very few exceptions to that rule.
A report of an abused woman and her children needing help to escape her psychotic boyfriend was one of them.
While Lucifer claimed he could handle the matter himself, Aloiki still sent four of our five prospects, Mouse, Doodles, Beetle, and Khal Drogo, or KD, with him just in case.
I liked that the former priest didn’t mind getting his hands dirty when it came to protecting the innocent.
Our fifth Prospect, Barnacle, was Mako’s cousin, and he was on Aloiki’s shit list after the Prospect rounded a corner and nearly bumped into Lu.
Which was why he’d been assigned to stay on the boat with the redhead Kayl had caught and then had to lift all the weights onto the boat once the fighting was done.
The last time I had come in late like this, Caroline had been waiting up for me. While the lamp by the couch was still on, she was not on the couch. I shouldn’t have been disappointed at that.
Light on my feet, I crept over to the bed.
I’d already washed the blood and grime off me at the shower in the barn.
Most of the others chose to crash there, too exhausted to make the trek back up to the house, but I had incentive to make the journey.
Mako, our Cleaner, and Barnacle were left behind to clean up Tommy’s boat.
Samantha was burrowed under the covers as usual, a little lump in a giant bed.
Her mother wasn’t that much bigger. In the low light cast by the lamp, I stared down at Caroline.
Maybe it was my exhaustion, maybe because she had no idea I was looking at her, maybe I was just so sick of not looking that I couldn’t turn my eyes away…
Whatever the reason, I stood at the side of the bed, and just stared.
When Kalea had been pregnant, I had thought about things to do with my daughter.
Both of us wanted to know the gender, so we’d found out as soon as we could.
I’d decorated her room pink with all the stereotypical girly things like rainbows, unicorns, princess crowns, and ballet slippers.
I filled a bookcase with all sorts of books, and even got her a boogieboard.
She wasn’t born yet and I was already imagining taking her into the waves.
Pualani was two and a half now. When I’d seen her a couple of months ago, I’d had a hard time reconciling the infant daughter I’d held with the toddler stranger she was now.
I had been her father, and I felt nothing for that little girl.
Well, not nothing. I wasn’t a total monster. But she hadn’t felt like mine.
I hadn’t seen Kalea since the day I walked out of the NICU ward at the hospital.
Aloiki had been very careful to arrange her visits to the farm when I wasn’t there, or to go to her house.
The house I had bought for her when she’d only been nineteen.
I didn’t know what I would feel if I ever did see her again.
Shouldn’t I have felt something for Pualani?
Some residual paternal instinct? When I’d learned she’d been in the house with Aloiki and Lu when the Bloody Scorpions had been attacked, I was outraged.
It took me some time to realize that I was pissed Kalea had virtually abandoned her for a week without notice on Aloiki’s doorstep.
Yes, I was absolutely pissed that a child had been in danger.
But that rage hadn’t been because she was my child.
What sort of person did it make me that I could look at her and feel nothing?
I lifted the covers a tiny bit, and something settled deep in my soul when I saw Samantha’s little nose poke free. I cracked a smile. She felt like mine.
They both did.
I wanted to talk to Caroline about adopting her, but I was nervous.
Things were so good between Caroline and me right now.
What if she thought I was trying to take Samantha away from her?
How did I make her understand that I wanted to make Samantha ours?
And when Caroline was older, if she was ready, maybe the three of us could officially be a family.
That was my ultimate fantasy. A family.
I folded the covers back over the little bundle in the bed. I should leave. I got to see them; I made sure they were both okay. I shouldn’t continue standing here.
“Stay.”
I tried to convince myself that I imagined it, but I hadn’t. I’d been staring right at her. She hadn’t opened her eyes, yet she’d spoken to me. I wasn’t so wrapped up in my head that I didn’t know reality from fantasy.
“I shouldn’t,” I murmured just as low.
Caroline’s eyes blinked open. How long had she been awake for? How long had she known I’d been standing over this bed? Yet, she hadn’t panicked, hadn’t yelled at me to get out. She looked right at me and uttered that single word again. “Stay.”
I glanced down. I couldn’t get in on this side without disturbing Samantha. I turned my head toward the couch. It was certainly the safer option.
“No, here.”
She shifted carefully, turning to face the empty side of the bed without waking Samantha up. I barely remember my feet walking me around the end of the bed to the other side. I stared down at her, the pull to obey stronger than the tide.
“I shouldn’t,” I repeated.
“Please.”
Fuck me. I was going to burn in luaahi, but the passage there would be so sweet. She had no idea the power she had over me with that little word.
I folded my large body onto the mattress.
At least I had the wherewithal to remain on top of the covers.
She shifted back a little, both of us on our sides facing the other.
The room had come with four pillows on the bed, and despite only ever needing one or two myself, I’d kept the others.
Samantha had burrowed under one, Caroline had another, and there were two remaining on the left side of the bed that I now rested on.
I took the spare and placed it between our stomachs.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I secured my hands under my armpits so I wouldn’t be tempted to touch where I shouldn’t.
“Hows zit?” she asked. I was glad I left the lamp on so I could see the playful amusement in her eyes as she butchered one of my native slang words.
I cracked a smile. “Howzit,” I corrected. “Let it flow like the waves.”
“Howz-it?” she repeated with a slight emphasis on the last syllable.
“Close enough,” I mused. A lock of her brunette curls fell down into her face. I had to pinch my arms down to hold my hands in place. The temptation to move it out of the way for her was strong. “I’m sorry I came in so late. I just wanted to make sure you were good.”
“I’m glad you did. I don’t know what you were doing tonight, but I know it was serious. I was worried for you.”
Unlike some random stranger or a woman one of the others might be seeing, Caroline knew firsthand what my club did on our missions. She hadn’t been there when Aloiki had skinned Jones alive, but she knew for a fact that we’d killed him.
“You don’t need to worry. We’re very good at what we do.” Injuries happened, but we all walked away.
Her frown hinted that her thoughts echoed mine.
I couldn’t risk releasing one of my hands, but I did lean myself forward, arching myself over the pillow barrier I’d placed between us. “I will always fight to come home.”
Her eyes flashed up to mine, her long eyelashes bright in the dim lighting. I didn’t dare say it, and she didn’t dare ask, but we both knew what I was really saying: “I will always fight to come home to you.”
A sharp pressure on my cheek brought me back to the land of the living. It wasn’t painful, but certainly annoying enough to rouse me.
I cracked an eye open. Sunlight crept in, making the dim shine from the lamp by the couch useless.
A speckle of dust danced through the beams like snowflakes.
I felt…rested. It had been really late—or early—when I’d snuck into my bedroom to check on the girls.
Based on the sun’s position, it was still fairly early.
Maybe only two or three hours had passed.
Caroline was stunning in the morning light, her breath even and her face relaxed in sleep. She had one hand curled under her cheek and the other on the pillow that still rested between us. I glanced down and saw my hand also on the pillow.
We weren’t touching except for our pinkie fingers, my massive digit wrapped around hers almost protectively. It shouldn’t have been sensual, that little touch, but it felt like it was. Like even in sleep we couldn’t stand to be apart.
I’d been trying my damnedest not to think about her admission of feelings. I didn’t want to influence either of our actions. But that didn’t mean I’d forgotten about them.
I shouldn’t have gotten into the bed earlier. Regardless of intention, it wasn’t appropriate. A pillow wasn’t actually a barrier. Even exhausted as I was, I was still in control of my actions. She deserved better from me.
That sharp poke drew my attention again. I shifted my head on my pillow to see Samantha straddling my side as she jabbed her little pointer finger into my cheek.
She smiled down at me as soon as she saw she had my attention. “Aloha kakahiaka, Tangy!”
I shifted onto my back, careful I didn’t dump her off the bed. Settling over my stomach, her short legs bent into two sharp points on my front as she balanced her hands on my chest. “Aloha kakahiaka, Samantha. Did you sleep well?”
She nodded. “Why are you in my bed?”
Her English got better every day, and I loved that she was picking up on Hawai‘ian words too.
“I was talking with your mother last night and we fell asleep,” I explained in the most simplistic way I could without lying. I glanced at Caroline again, and carefully, extracted my finger from hers. “Let’s not disturb her. Want to go get breakfast?”
She bobbled her head up and down enthusiastically. I chuckled, and easily lifted her into my arms as she stood. She was still light as a feather to me, but the doctor was pleased with her weight gain. Caroline’s too.
We stopped in the hall so she could use the bathroom. I waited out in the hall and scared away any of my brothers who came out to use it, only to find it occupied. After Saga, they knew better than to speak negatively about anything regarding my girls.
I stopped Neo mid-step as they were making their way down the hall to stay with Samantha, while I ducked into the bathroom to take a piss.
When I came out, Neo was sitting on the floor with Samantha in their lap showing her how they hacked into a millionaire’s bank to syphon off a couple thousand to invest in a friend’s startup company.
I glared down at them. “At least wait until she’s hit puberty before you turn her into a criminal. Shoots!”
Neo wasn’t happy about it, but agreed.
I walked slower down the stairs as Samantha hopped and jiggled her way down.
Seven weeks, and she was already so different from the shy, timid little girl who was terrified of making a sound around me.
The Lilo and Stitch nightgown she wore bounced around her skinny legs, reminding me of a hau hula skirt, or a grass skirt.
I wondered if Caroline would be interested in signing Samantha up for hula lessons.
Although, depending on what song was in her head, the girl certainly hadn’t been born with any natural rhythm.
Getting to the bottom of the stairs, she took a giant, unnecessary leap onto the hardwood floor below, and stuck the landing like a professional gymnast. Then she turned, put her hands on her hips, and looked up at me with all the attitude a four-year-old could possess.
“Come on, Tangy. I’m hungry.”