4. Chapter Four
4
Luca
I was a piece of shit. No, worse than that. I was the lowest scum on the earth, the most disgusting excuse for a human being that ever walked the planet.
I sat on my couch and stared blankly at the wall, my stomach twisted in knots, hands clenched in the fabric of my sweatpants so hard that my knuckles ached. The clock on my kitchen wall ticked slower than it should, each minute passing in an agonizing crawl. I couldn't sit still. I wanted to pace around the apartment, screaming, throwing things, tearing the walls down with my bare hands. I wanted to smash every goddamn thing in this place to pieces, until there was nothing left of me or my shitty life but a pile of broken glass and splintered wood.
But I didn't move. I just sat there, staring at the fresh hole I’d put in the drywall.
I'd fucked up. Again. I'd lost my temper, yelled at Sofia, pushed her away when she was just trying to help. I didn't deserve her friendship. I didn't deserve to even be in the same fucking room as her. I was a pathetic, worthless piece of shit.
It's not too late. You can still make this right, Just call her. Apologize. Beg her to come back, because right now she's the only good thing you've got going for you, pal, and you just pissed that all away like it was nothing.
The phone buzzed on the table again, startling me out of my thoughts. I looked at it, debating whether to answer. It was probably Julian. He probably already heard about my little temper tantrum and was calling to tell me to stay the hell away from his sister.
I reached for the phone. If Julian was calling, he deserved an apology too. I'd been a total asshole to both of them today. They didn't deserve it.
But it wasn't Julian calling. It was Sofia.
I blinked at the phone in surprise. Actually…it wasn’t just one phone call from her, I had several missed texts and a voicemail. I hadn't expected her to call me. I thought she'd be too mad to talk to me. Or too hurt. Either way, this was my last chance to make things right.
I answered the phone. "Sofia."
"Luca?" Her voice was thick like she'd been crying. "L-Luca, I…I..."
"Sofia—fuck. Don’t. Please stop crying." I clenched my hand in my hair until it hurt. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I'm so fucking sorry for what I said earlier. I was a jerk. I was a total asshole to you. I don't know why you called, but I'm glad you did, because I need to tell you how sorry I am, and that you didn't deserve that shit--"
"She's dead."
My heart thudded to a stop. What?
I blinked a moment, processing. Sofia choked on a sob, and now I could hear the terror lacing her voice. "She's d-dead, Luca, and there's so much blood and I didn't know who to call—"
"Who's dead, Sofia? Where are you?" I was already on my feet, yanking on my jacket. "Are you hurt?"
"I found her in the alley and she was still alive but now she's d-d—Beth's dead--"
"Sofia. Where are you?" I enunciated each word loudly and clearly, trying to break through her panic. Sofia was starting to hyperventilate on the other end of the line, and the sound of her terror caused my own pulse to skyrocket. For fucks sake, she was sitting in some filthy alley with a corpse while I was sitting up here in my warm apartment…
“Oh my god her poor mother. Her sister—“
“Sofia!”
"B-Beth. I'm with Beth. Outside. By my apartment."
Fear made her voice childlike, a hiccupping, barely coherent mess. I shoved my feet into my shoes and palmed my keys. I hadn't moved this fast since I'd been shot, but the adrenaline zinging through my system gave me wings. I took the stairs two at a time, flying down them like the place was on fire, still talking into the phone.
"Sofia, listen to me. I want you to go to your apartment, lock the door, and do not open it for anyone but me. Do not call the cops. Do not call your brother. I will take care of this. Do you understand?"
"Y-yes.” Another hiccup. “Luca..."
"I know, baby. I know. I'm coming to you. I'll be there soon."
I ended the call and had the second number dialed before I'd even reached the street. Panic had given way to an ethereal calm I hadn't felt in a very long time. Sofia was in a filthy alley with the body of someone she had just watched die, someone she had apparently known, and despite my fear for her, I was aware that we had a very big problem on our hands.
There was only one person I trusted to get us out of it.
Dante picked up on the first ring. "Yeah."
If my friend was surprised to hear from me after all these months, he didn't show it. Then again, Dante never showed much emotion. I guess being a hitman for the mafia would do that to a guy. Generally, the boys steered clear of Dante, finding his cool detachment off-putting and creepy, but when I was in a bind, there wasn't anyone else I'd want throwing me a line.
"We have a problem," I said, dodging past a crowd waiting at the crosswalk for a signal. Dante listened as I gave him the address, then he hung up without another word.
I wasn't far from Sofia’s apartment now, but my heart was pounding and my lungs burned with the effort of keeping up this pace. Sofia had been right. I'd let myself go over the last year, and now I was paying for it. If she'd needed me tonight, I would have been too weak to get to her in time.
If anything happened to her...
I pushed the thought away. I couldn't think like that. Sofia was fine. Probably a bit shaken up, but I was going to find her, and she'd be just fine.
I rounded the corner, and my steps slowed as I approached the alley. The rain had finally stopped, leaving a muggy heat in its wake. The air smelled like wet garbage and car exhaust. I scanned the alleyway but saw no sign of Sofia.
The girl's body was crumpled on the ground near the dumpster. Blond hair matted with blood, a single blue eye staring up at nothing. Her death hadn't been an easy one. Broken bones, contusions that looked like they'd come from maybe a pipe or a baseball bat beneath some sinister looking knifework almost gleeful in its intensity.
This was more than just a mugging gone wrong. This was gangland-level brutality.
Whoever had killed Beth had wanted her to suffer.
I was still staring at the girl when a figure appeared in my periphery, silent as a shadow. Dante came to a halt beside me, his hands shoved in his pockets. He arched a single eyebrow over steel grey eyes as he stared down at the corpse. "Well, that's not good."
I glanced at him. "No."
"Who was she?"
"Sofia's friend. She's the one who found her."
Dante was quiet for a moment. "And where is Sofia now?"
"Her apartment with the door locked, hopefully. We need to get rid of this. Make it look like an accident, she had a...a..."
I scrubbed a hand over my face. Fucking words, always just out of reach. Aphasia, the doctor called it, a side effect of my little brain trauma, and it only seemed to come back when my blood pressure was through the roof. Adrenaline throbbed at the base of my skull, and I squeezed my eyes shut against a wave of nausea.
"A family," Dante finished for me. "Go check on your girl."
"She's not my girl."
"Right. Keep telling yourself that. Now fuck off. I've got this."
I headed back toward the street, but I couldn't help glancing back one last time. Dante had already crouched down next to the body, head cocked to the side, studying it with the cold, calculating gaze of a surgeon. Or an executioner.
Sofia's door was locked, which made me feel marginally better. I knocked lightly, identified myself, then leaned against the frame and waited.
It felt like a million years before the chain slid back and the deadbolt turned. Sofia cracked the door open, peering around the corner, but I couldn't see much of her in the sliver of light.
"It's me, Sofia."
The door opened wider and she stepped into view. My breath caught in my throat. She was still wearing the clothes she'd worn earlier, covered in filth from the alley. A streak of mud ran along her jawline, and her hair was plastered to her forehead.
Her face crumpled when she saw me.
I stepped forward and she came into my arms without hesitation, trembling as I wrapped her up and held her to me. She was warm and soft and smelled faintly of blood. Her breath hitched as she fought to hold back tears, and my chest ached at the sound.
She shouldn't have to see this kind of violence, this kind of cruelty. Something like this should have never touched her. And now she was here, shaking and scared, while her friend's body cooled in the alley below.
"I'm sorry," she choked out. "I didn't know what to do."
"It's okay." I cupped the back of her head with my hand and tucked her closer, holding her tight enough that I could feel the galloping staccato of her heartbeat. "I've got you. I've got you now."
"I watched her die. She was still alive when I got there, but I wasn't fast enough to save her, and she just...she just..."
"It's not your fault, Sofia." I rocked her gently, stroking the back of her neck, pressing my lips to the top of her head. "This is on them. Not you. You did everything you could."
She clutched my jacket with both hands, her breath coming faster and faster as she started to hyperventilate. I gripped her shoulders and pushed her back a little, ducking so I could look her in the eye.
"Sofia, I need you to breathe for me," I said, trying to keep my voice calm and level. "Come on. You're okay Just breathe—"
"Don't let me go," she gasped. Tears streaked down her face, smearing her mascara. She sounded like she was five years old again. "Please don't let me go."
"I won't, baby. I won't."
Never .
Tucking her into my good side, I slid us down until our butts were parked on the floor, hip to hip The hallway light was dim, painting Sofia's skin with a corpselike pallor. Her tears had left streaks of clean skin, and without thinking, I brushed her hair from her face with my thumb, wiping the tears away.
Sofia turned her face into my touch, seeking comfort, and my fingers trembled against her skin. She looked so fragile, so utterly breakable.
"Who was Beth to you?" I asked. I didn't want to, but I had to know. If I was going to protect Sofia, I had to know everything.
"A friend. From work."
"From the City Councilor's Office?"
"No."
Sofia didn't elaborate. I didn't understand. "Then where—"
"The manager—her boyfriend, Davey—he owed us money. He owed Sal money." Sofia sniffed and stared at the wall. "That's why Davey fired me, but it was too late. They'd warned him once, she told me, but...we didn't do this, right? They couldn’t have..."
Sofia drifted off, and I stared at the floor in confusion. She wasn’t making sense. Manger? Owing us money? Even my scrambled brain could deduce Sofia wasn’t telling me the whole truth. I was about to press her, but then she looked up at me with an expression so bleakly lost that it broke my heart. Now wasn’t the time to dig. Whatever this was, apparently it involved the Family, and I was quickly coming to the realization that Beth had been mixed up in some bad business.
Bad business that had landed right on Sofia's doorstep.
"I’ll figure this out, baby. I promise. But until I do, this means you’re not safe here anymore. You’re connected to this now. We need to leave.” I stood and pulled her into my arms. But when my fingers brushed the back of her head, she sucked in a breath. "Wait—are you hurt?"
"I fell. It's just a bruise."
I brushed her hair back gently, exposing a large, blue-black contusion on the back of her head. No blood, but the sight of it still made anger churn in my gut. “Are you dizzy? Nauseous?”
“No, just a headache. And I’m tired,” she said in a small voice.
Even as I watched, Sofia’s eyes drooped, and I propped her gently against the wall as I went to grab an ice pack from the freezer, limbs buzzing with unspent adrenaline. My hands trembled when I held the ice pack to her bruise. I swallowed back the sudden flare of rage in my throat, clenching my jaw. Someone was going to die for this, and they would die slowly. I'd make sure of that.
"You're going to stay at my place tonight," I said, tilting her chin up to face me. Her dark amber eyes were wide, and she blinked up at me. "It's not safe here. I want you to pack a bag and bring whatever you need. You're going to stay the night at my place."
"But, Luca—"
"Not up for debate." I brushed my thumb across her lips to silence her, and she stilled at my touch. The air between us changed, becoming thick and heavy with tension. My hand slid to her cheek, cupping her face, and she leaned into me. "Do as I say, Sofia."
I couldn't stop looking at her.
She was so beautiful.
And so fucking innocent. Spending the night at my apartment.
I was going to have to be careful.