21. Chapter Twenty-One
21
Sofia
Waking up in Luca's arms, his big warm body curled protectively against mine, was like heaven. He was asleep, but barely, snoring lightly. I let him sleep as long as possible, knowing he probably needed it after the chaos of yesterday. So much happening...my asshat of a brother being injured, Luca looking like he was going to faint at the hospital, and the conversation he's had with Julian's doctor outside of the room...
Luca stirred a bit and his snoring broke off. His breathing deepened, and I knew he was awake. The next thing I knew, he'd flipped me onto my back and crawled over me, pinning me beneath him.
"Morning." He kissed me deeply, making me moan softly. His mouth trailed over my jaw, nipping lightly.
"I missed this, waking up with you," I whispered. I reached up and ran my fingers through his messy dark hair. He grinned down at me, his eyes sleepy and content, and I couldn't help but smile back.
"Me too. I'm sorry that I haven't been here more."
"It's okay. You've had a lot going on."
"I have," he agreed. "But that's not an excuse. I should have made more time for you."
"You're sweet." I leaned up and kissed him softly. "But don't worry about it. We're together now."
"Yeah. We are." He rolled off me, and I immediately missed the warmth of his body. He lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, his expression thoughtful.
I rolled to face him, propping myself up on my elbow. "What's on your mind?"
"I was just thinking about us," he said. "About how lucky I am to have you."
"Luca..." My heart swelled with love for him, but I didn't say anything. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. And I was scared that maybe he didn't feel the same. "I'm the lucky one."
"Nah." He reached over and took my hand, lacing our fingers together. "I'm the one who's got the most beautiful woman in the world in my bed. That makes me the luckiest son of a bitch in the universe."
I blushed and laughed softly. "You're ridiculous."
"I'm serious." He squeezed my hand. The smile was easy on his lips, but shadows still danced deeply within his eye, the ghostly left one, the blind eye, was still dark and vacant. I couldn't help but feel that something was bothering him, even as he seemed to be enjoying the moment with me. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I don't want to lose you."
"You won't. I'm not going anywhere." Brushing the hair back from his eyes, I cradled his ruined face in both of my hands; the right, the man he had been, and the left, the man that had been torn apart by the violence of the way we lived. Both were beautiful to me. "I love you, Luca." I breathed, unable to contain it anymore.
Luca froze, his breath catching. "Wh-what?"
"I love you. I have for a long time, longer than you could ever know. I'm so sorry I didn't say it sooner." My heart ached. "I should have told you the moment I saw you in that hospital bed. I was just so scared. Scared of what it would mean, scared of losing you. I didn't want to be a burden on you or force you into something you weren't ready for. But I can't keep it in anymore. I love you and I want to be with you, no matter what. If you'll have me."
"Sofia, I..." His voice was hoarse, his throat working. He didn't say anything else, just stared at me, his expression unreadable. I immediately felt like I'd said something wrong, that I'd pushed too far too soon. I opened my mouth to take it back, to tell him that I hadn't meant it, but before I could speak, he kissed me.
His mouth was hot and insistent, his tongue sliding over mine, his lips claiming me as if he owned me. And maybe he did. Maybe he always had. Because when he kissed me like that, I knew there was no one else in the world for me except him.
Luca rolled us over until I was pinned beneath him again, his hips settling between mine, his hard length pressing insistently against me. He kissed me until I was gasping for breath, then trailed kisses down my neck, along my collarbone, his teeth nipping lightly at the tender skin there.
He cupped one of my breasts, his thumb brushing over the peak. "I love you," I breathed again as he lowered his head and took the nipple into his mouth, sucking hard.
He didn't respond, just kept on sucking and licking at my nipple until I was writhing beneath him, my fingers tangled in his hair. Then, he switched to the other one, his hand still playing with the first, and I moaned loudly.
"Luca..." My voice was a whimper, and I was so wet, so ready for him.
He raised his head, his gaze locked on mine. "Hush now. Let me take care of you." His eyes were so dark, so intense. He kissed his way down my belly, over my hip bones, then settled between my thighs.
"Luca..."
His mouth closed over my clit, and he sucked gently, making me buck my hips up into him. He slid two fingers inside me, curling them upward, and I cried out, arching off the bed. His tongue circled my clit slowly as he thrust his fingers in and out of me, driving me higher and higher, until I was teetering on the edge of release.
"Please..." I moaned, tugging on his hair.
He looked up at me, his lips glistening with my arousal, and I nearly came undone at the sight.
"I want you to come on my tongue," he said. "I want you to scream my name. And then I'm going to fuck you so hard, you won't be able to walk straight tomorrow. Do you understand?"
I nodded frantically. "Yes...please...yes."
Luca grinned, and then his head dipped down again. His fingers thrust deep inside me as he sucked on my clit, grazing the sensitive nub, and I shattered. My body convulsed, my hips bucking against his mouth, as I cried out his name. I was still trembling when he moved up my body, positioning himself at my entrance.
But when he entered me, it was with a slow, inexorable thrust, a steady pressure that filled and stretched me until I was fit to burst. He didn't stop until he was fully sheathed inside me, his hips flush against mine.
"Oh, god..." I whimpered as he started to move. He pulled almost all the way out, and then thrust back in again, his pace unhurried and deliberate.
Luca groaned as he buried himself inside me. His hips rolled as he bottomed out, and he stayed there for a moment, his forehead resting against mine. We breathed each other's air as he began to thrust again, slowly and steadily.
It felt amazing, the way he moved inside me, but there was something else going on. Something that felt different from the other times we'd made love. There was an intensity in Luca that hadn't been there before, a sense of urgency that was almost desperate.
"Luca," I whispered, my hands coming up to cup his face. I looked into his eyes and saw the same shadows I'd seen there earlier, the same fear and desperation. But now, there was also something else, something that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Love, yes. Passion. Desire.
But also...determination. As if he'd turned the corner down a road there was no coming back from. "What is it?" I whispered. "What's wrong?"
He shook his head, and then kissed me, his mouth hungry and demanding. He thrust harder, his hips snapping against mine, and I gasped into his mouth. His hand slid down my side to grip my hip, holding me in place as he drove into me slowly, forcefully, never altering speed, pulling all the way out before thrusting back in again.
I felt myself building, felt the familiar pressure start to grow low in my belly, the tension in my core coiling tighter with every stroke of his cock. I clutched at his back, my nails digging into his skin, as I felt myself teetering on the edge.
"Come for me," he whispered in my ear, and his voice was low, husky. His teeth grazed the sensitive spot just below my ear, and that was all it took to push me over the edge.
With a hoarse shout, Luca came inside me, his cock pulsing as he spent himself. I felt him collapse on top of me, his weight heavy and comforting. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close as his body shook with the aftershocks of his climax. He buried his face in my neck, his breath hot on my skin, and I could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He lifted his head and looked down at me. There was a softness in his gaze, a tenderness that I'd never seen before. He brushed the hair back from my face and kissed my forehead softly.
"Thank you," he said.
"For what?" I asked.
"For loving me. For being here with me. I don't deserve you, Sofia, but I'm glad you're mine." He kissed me again, this time on the lips, and then he rolled off me. I cuddled up to his side, my head on his chest, and listened to the steady rhythm of his heart. A heart that, by all accounts, shouldn't be beating.
"I'm the lucky one," I murmured. I traced my fingers over his sternum, capturing each heartbeat. They were a reminder of how close I'd come to losing him, and how precious every moment together was. "I love you, Luca Mariano. And I always will."
He didn't answer, just wrapped his arm around me and held me tight. Later, I'd realize that was the closest he ever got to saying it back, but even then, what Luca really had been saying…
…was goodbye.
***
Luca woke up early that morning, and after a quick shower, he'd gotten dressed and left for work. I'd tried to convince him to stay, that he should take the day off, but he'd refused. I was worried about him. After the conversation he'd had with Julian's doctor, he seemed more...subdued than usual. He was quieter, more pensive. And he wouldn't tell me what was wrong.
He'd said he was fine, but I knew he wasn't telling me everything. Something was bothering him, and I wished he would just talk to me about it. I knew he had a lot on his mind, between taking care of Julian and dealing with the fallout from his injury, but I didn't want him to feel like he had to bear that burden alone.
I decided to go see Julian. Maybe he could shed some light on what was going on with Luca. I dressed quickly and drove to the hospital, where I found him propped up in bed, watching TV.
"Hey," I said as I walked in. "How are you feeling?"
"Like shit," he replied. "But at least I'm not dead. Doc Carter says he's going to discharge me this afternoon."
"That's good news," I said. I sat down in the chair next to his bed. "Look, Julian, we need to talk."
"About what?"
"Luca. And before you say anything, I don’t want to talk about our relationship. I know you don’t agree, but that’s not what’s important right now." I took a deep breath. "Something's going on with him, but he won't talk to me. He and Dante are up to something and I'm afraid they're gonna get themselves killed. You know him better than anyone else in the world, Julian. What's going on?"
Julian sighed. "You know I can't tell you. It's family business."
"I know that! But this isn't just some job. This is about Luca's life, and yours. And mine. We're all in danger here."
"You don't need to worry about me," Julian said. "I can take care of myself. And as for Luca..." He hesitated, then continued. "He's a grown man. He knows what he's doing."
"But does he?" I demanded. "Because I don't think he does. I think he's in over his head, and he just...I'm afraid he's going to do something rash and stupid and get himself killed. I can't let that happen, Julian."
Julian stared at me for a long moment, his eyes hard. Finally, he sighed. "You really care about him, don't you?"
"Of course I do," I said. "I love him."
Julian's eyebrows rose. He looked taken aback, and he didn't say anything for a moment. Finally, he said, "All right. Fine. I'll tell you what I can. But you have to promise me you won't do anything stupid. You won't go after him. You won't put yourself in danger."
I nodded. "I promise."
"All right." Julian leaned back against his pillows. "Luca and Dante are planning something big. I'm not sure what, exactly, but it involves Sal and Dominic. They think I don't know about it, but they're not exactly as secretive as they think. Dante's been working out the logistics, and Luca has been recruiting men to their side. I think they're going to attempt a takeover of the Compound."
"A takeover?" I repeated. "But why? They already control the Compound."
"Yeah, but not in the way that counts. Sal is still Don, and Dominic is Underboss. Luca and Dante are capos. They have their own crews, their own businesses, but they answer to Sal and Dom. If they take over the Compound, they'll be in charge, and they can put a stop to this violence once and for all. Then we can move the Family forward and into the Twenty-first century." He shrugged. "It's an albeit backdoor approach to what I was suggesting, but it gets us there in the end. At least I hope to hell it will."
I was silent for a moment, taking it all in. "You...hope it will."
"I know Dante. I know how he operates. I might not know precisely what they're up to, but I can guess. And if I had to lay money on it, I'd bet that they're going to try to take out Sal and Dominic at the same time. A coordinated strike, so that there's no chance of either of them getting away. And if they succeed..." Julian trailed off.
"If they succeed," I prompted.
"Then the entire power structure of the Moretti Crime Family changes. Luca and Dante will be in charge, and they'll be able to make the changes they want to make. They'll be able to bring us into the future."
"And if they fail?" I asked softly.
"Then we're all dead," Julian replied.
"Jesus Christ." I buried my face in my hands. "This is insane. They can't do this! I mean, how can you just sit there and let it happen, Julian, I—"
"Because it's the best chance we have!" Julian snapped. "Don't you see that, Sofia? If we don't do something, then Sal is going to keep running this family into the ground. He's going to get us all killed. And I'm not just talking about the soldiers, I'm talking about us. Our family. You, me, Luca, Dante, Aria. We're all going to die if we don't do something to stop it. I don't want to be a part of this any longer, Sofia. I'm done. I've had it. I've been shot at, stabbed, beaten, and nearly killed more times than I can count. And for what? Fucking pride? No. It's time for a change. And if Luca and Dante can make that happen, then I'm behind them 100 percent. Because at this point, I'd rather be dead than keep living like this."
As Julian lapsed into a coughing fit, I stared at him, my mouth open. I'd never heard him speak so passionately before. Julian, the consummate professional. Julian, the perfect soldier. Julian, the loyal son. To hear him talk like this...
"Besides," he waved a hand as he took a drink of water. "They're not there yet. Luca is a tempering force to Dante's hot head, and I know Luca would never let him go off half-cocked. They're still just in the planning stages, nothing has been set in motion yet. Dante thinks I can't handle myself, but I'm not letting him leave me out of this. Once I'm up and moving again, I'll talk to Luca, and we'll figure out how to move forward. Together." He was quiet for a moment, his face thoughtful. "Maybe it's time for me to step out of the shadows," he said finally. "Maybe it's time for me to take a more active role in the family. After all, Dad always said I was the one who would lead the family someday. Maybe it's time I started acting like it."
I didn't know what to say to that. Julian had always been the quiet, reserved brother, the one who stayed in the background and let others take the spotlight. To hear him talk about stepping up and taking charge...it was a little unnerving.
But then again, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was time for him to step up and take the reins. God knows, someone needed to. And who better than him? He was intelligent, he was resourceful, and he was tough as nails. If anyone could do it, it was him. I just had to make sure he didn't take on too much too soon. He had to heal first, and then we'd see.
We chatted for a while longer, and I eventually got up to leave, saying I needed to go home and get some sleep. As I was leaving, Julian reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me close so he could whisper in my ear.
"Whatever you do, Sofia, do not go to the Compound right now. Just stay away. Let them figure it out. If you show up, you're only going to make things worse. Promise me you'll let me handle this. Trust me."
I nodded reluctantly. "I promise. But if you need me, I'm here. You know that, right?"
"I do." He smiled at me. "Now get out of here. I need my beauty rest." He winked at me and I laughed. It felt good to laugh. I'd been so tense lately, so worried. But if Julian was confident that he could fix this, then maybe there was hope.
***
When I got home, the apartment was empty. There was no sign of Luca anywhere, which wasn't surprising, given how early he'd left. But there was an envelope on the kitchen counter, blank except for my name scrawled out in Luca's blocky handwriting.
For some reason, it terrified me.
Skirting the kitchen, I went to the bedroom first. The bed had been made and there was a neat stack of folded laundry on the dresser. Nothing was out of place, but it still didn't feel right. I couldn't shake the sense of dread that had settled over me like a shroud.
I went back to the kitchen and picked up the envelope. It was light in my hands, as if there was barely anything inside. My hand hesitated over the paper. What was inside? And why didn't he give it to me this morning? Or just text me?
I chewed at my thumbnail, staring at the paper, but finally, I picked it up.
Opened it.