64. Chapter Sixty-Four
Chapter sixty-four
Peter
A little after ten, we walked in through the garage door and were only a few steps into the house when laughter erupted.
Lukas glanced at me. “Well, it sounds like the ladies are having a good time.”
As if on cue, Avery walked out of the lounge as we walked up to its door. “You’re going to want to make sure everyone hydrates tonight. It’s been an enlightening evening to say the least.”
Lukas let out a deep sigh. “Do I even want to know?”
She glanced over her shoulder, playfully glaring at someone inside. “The boys are back, and I’m warning them you’re drunk.”
Ryan let out a small groan. “Oh, lord.”
I looked his way. “Is that bad?”
His focus was still on Avery. “Who got drunk?”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “People of legal age and sound mind.”
Lukas shook his head as he took in the silent showdown between Avery and Ryan. “And now I know why Lianne kicked us out. She knew this shit would start. Avery, can I ask what happened?”
Her hard expression softened as she shifted her attention to Lianne’s brother. “We did face masks and then played Never Have I Ever.”
Lukas nodded. “And the drunk part?”
Avery chuckled. “Some of the ladies drank water, and some did shots of vodka.”
“Yeah, Li texted me.”
I looked up to see Ben walking toward us.
Lianne suddenly appeared, leaning against the door frame, grinning. “Oh, the boys are back. Did you all have a good play date?”
Ryan shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Hello, Lianne. We had a good time. Looks like you did, too.”
She grinned and tapped him on the nose. “We. Did.”
Ben shook his head, smirking. “Come on, Sandy. Let’s get you upstairs and to bed.”
She let out a very uncharacteristic giggle as she glanced at Avery. “You hear that? I just got propositioned by a very cute boy, and with my code name.”
Avery nodded as she gently took Lianne by the shoulders and led her to Ben’s arms. “Yes, you did, Lianne. Now, go make sure he has a night he’ll never forget.”
“Okay.” Her face lit up as Ben wrapped his arms around her. “Oh! We have those new restraints. Can we try them out tonight? Please?”
Ben failed at keeping a straight face, both smiling and looking a touch embarrassed. “If you can get upstairs without falling, I’ll see what we can do.”
“Deal!” Lianne looked at Lukas with a devilish grin on her face. “I’ll try to keep it down.”
Lukas let out a pained groan. “Oh, my god, Li. No. Why?” He looked at Ryan, visibly distressed. “This is my sister. There are things I really don’t ever want or need to know. How are you so calm?”
Ryan just shook his head as Ben and Lianne slowly left the area. “Listen. It’s not that big of a house, man. There’s shit you were going to find out sooner or later.”
Quinn came out smirking and looking far more sober than Lianne. “Poor Lukas. Come on, handsome, let’s get you to bed before you’re any more scandalized.”
He gave her a curious look. “You good?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Avery and I drank water. I didn’t want her to be the only one.”
Lukas wrapped his arm around her waist, and the two of them walked away.
I glanced at Ryan again, who looked more amused than anything else. “How are you unaffected by what Lianne said? She’s like a little sister to you.”
He arched an eyebrow as he looked my way. “Do you really want the answer to that?”
Morbid curiosity had me in a choke hold. “I do, actually.”
“Who do you think helped Lianne with the research?”
Avery chuckled. “Ryan, I like you a little more every day.” She shifted her gaze to me. “You might need help getting Adair back to her room.”
We walked into the lounge to see Jess, Ellen, and Adair all squished on the couch, giggling. Taking my phone out, I took a quick picture of the three of them laughing. It made me so happy to see Adair letting her guard down and truly enjoying herself.
Ryan reached for Ellen, helped her up and wordlessly escorted her out of the room as she went on about going on a helicopter ride during their honeymoon.
Connor shook his head at Jess as he pulled her toward him. “Renegade, what am I going to do with you?”
“Love me forever?” Jess shifted her attention from Connor to Adair to me, and her smile fell. “I feel like I owe you an apology.”
“Me? Why?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t think Adair was going to go that hard. It might be a rough night.”
“And I'll take care of her.” I reached down and took Adair’s hand in mine. “Come on. Bed time for you, too.”
“Already?” She whined playfully. “Everyone else gets to stay up late with their guys.”
Jess’s eyebrows went up, but I shook my head. I am not getting into this with her right now. “I never said you had to go to sleep, just that we had to get you to bed.”
Adair let out a dramatic sigh. “Fine.”
As I helped her stand, she stumbled and fell straight into my chest. Her hands wrapped around my arms and gave my biceps a squeeze. “Holy shit, you’re like really strong. Have you always been this muscle-y?”
I let out a long breath as I tried to ignore just how much I liked her hands on me. “I have. The better to keep you from falling on your face, my dear.”
The snort laugh that came out of Adair had Avery walking over. “Need help getting her down the hallway?”
“I should be fine.” Bending down, I scooped her up under her knees, holding her close, and she leaned against me, resting her head on my shoulder. A content sigh and a smile crossed her face. “My Shield.”
When I looked up at Avery, she smirked at me as my eyes widened. “You got her alright. Take good care of her, Peter.”
Every day.
I’d barely kicked the door shut when Adair started giggling.
“What’s so funny?”
After I placed her on the bed, a carefree smile appeared on her face. “I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun.”
I couldn’t help but smile. The joy on her face was intoxicating. “I’m glad you did. You deserve it.”
“Did you have fun? Avery told me Lianne kicked some of the boys out.”
A chuckle came out as I rubbed the back of my neck. When Connor wasn’t calling me out for liking you? “Yeah. I did.”
“Can you stay with me again?”
I nodded, knowing I had no plan of leaving her alone while this drunk. “Yeah. Let me change and then I’ll join you.”
Another deep giggle came out, and I did my best to ignore just how much I liked it. I thought Adair would have been asleep by the time I came out, but her eyes were open and trained on the bathroom door as I opened it.
“You good?” She nodded. “Need anything before I crawl in?” She shook her head. “Did you forget how to speak?”
A tiny chuckle came out. “No.” As soon as I slid into the bed, Adair moved closer to me, wrapped her arm around my knees, and rested her head on my thigh before letting out a deep sigh. “That’s better.”
“What is?”
She snuggled in a little closer. “I’ve got my person here with me now. I’m safe and sound.”
My heart stopped in my chest for a second, and all I could think about was the conversation Connor and I had earlier. Her person? Has she developed feelings for me, or is this a comfort thing? Or is it the alcohol talking? I rubbed her back gently. “Of course you’re safe with me.”
Adair shook her head. “It’s more than that.”
“Oh?” I didn’t dare move, aside from my arm still rubbing her back, not sure where this conversation was headed.
She reached over and grabbed my other hand, rubbing her thumb over the back of it. “Is this okay?” Her voice was small and hesitant.
I flipped my hand over, loving how perfectly our fingers wove together. “This is perfect. Are you okay with this?”
Adair nodded and tightened her grip. “I’m trying to find the strength to do this again. I… I don’t know if I could survive my heart shattering for a third time.”
“A third time?”
She looked up, her intense gaze pinning me where I sat.
“We have both been in this world long enough to know how to read people like books. We also know time is precious and not guaranteed, especially in this line of work. I know something is going on between us, but I need to know if you’re in or not before this goes any further. ”
Is she talking about a relationship?
“I…” I let out a tense breath. Just be honest. “I’m in, but that being said, there’s no rush. There’s no timeline to keep. You’re still mourning Derek, and I would never do anything to dishonor what you two had. I’m good with this.” I gestured to our cuddling. “I’m happy as long as you’re happy.”
Determination flared up in her eyes. “First, I have mourned Derek and am still mourning him. There is a tiny part that may always mourn him. He was my first true love.” A deep sigh came out.
“I may not look like the traditional image of a widow, or be following some expected mourning timeline, but that doesn’t invalidate how I’m processing this.
” Adair paused for a moment. “That being said, Derek and I knew from day one it was a fool's errand to assume we’d have a long marriage… that any time we had together was limited and likely to be cut off without warning. You’ve met my sister and my ex-fiance.
You’ve seen what they are capable of. The fact Derek and I had three wonderful years together was a miracle. ”
I nodded. “It’s true. I’m glad you had them.”
She let out a small hum. “Me, too. That is why part of our wedding vows had us promising each other to find happiness after one of us lost the other.”
I was stunned. “That was part of your wedding vows?”
She nods. "It was. We never wanted our time together to end, but…” She trailed off and sighed again as guilt filled her eyes. “I don’t want to hold you back, Peter. It’s not fair to you.”
“You’re not holding me back from anything. I promise you.”
We stared at each other for several long moments. I reached over and cradled her cheek, moving my thumb along the smooth skin as her focus held mine. Anxiety, fear, loss, anguish, and even warmth swam in her hazel eyes.
“It terrifies me to move forward again.”
I nodded. “I’m scared, too.”
Adair sat up with a start. “Why are you scared?”
How do you not see it? “I have to be worthy of your heart and good enough to stand at your side. Sure, Liam was a complete piece of shit, but Derek left some very big shoes to fill.”
Her breath shook as her stare intensified. “I… but you are. You’ve had hundreds of opportunities to ruin my life, but you’ve made it better at every turn. How could you be anything other than worthy?”
“I… Well…” I let out a sigh. “When you put it like that.”
Adair let out a weak chuckle. “Peter, I love that I feel safe with you… that I trust you almost as much as Lynette. You didn’t know a damn thing about me and volunteered to help out.
And not only did you help keep me safe, but you went above and beyond to make me feel as comfortable as possible, too.
You checked in on me when there was no need, just because. No one has ever done that, not really.”
Avery was right. “Adair, but—”
“I’m not done yet.” She cut me off and then took a deep breath.
“Before you ask about Derek, and if I’m ready to be moving on or if it’s the alcohol talking, don’t.
Trust me when I say this is not because I’m drunk.
Is the alcohol making it easier to say? Yes, but it’s not putting words in my mouth.
No one gets to tell me how to live my life anymore.
I’ve fought too hard for too long to stay alive.
I’m tired of just living. I want to feel.
I want to thrive. I want my heart to know joy again.
I want to be important to someone outside of an assignment. ”
Tears rolled down her cheeks now, and I pulled my hand out of hers to hold her face and wipe them away.
“You know I’m here for you, assignment or not.
You are so much more than just some person with a code name with a past out to kill them.
You are a strong, intelligent, resourceful, and beautiful woman that I am honored to know. ”
A huge smile appeared on her face. “You think I’m beautiful?”
Shit. I said that out loud. I nodded. That was never a question. “I do.”
Adair gripped my hands tighter as a beautiful smile lit up her face.
“Maybe I was never supposed to be with Liam… and maybe Derek and I were never supposed to be together forever… Maybe those two relationships were necessary steps on the path that brought me to you. Maybe this is supposed to be my happily ever after.” She looked down for a moment and ran her thumb across my knuckles.
“I know it’s a lot, but I’m not going to mince words or hold back because someone else might not understand.
Fuck them. This is my life… our life. We call the shots.
Not them.” There was another pause as she looked into my eyes again.
“Please don’t hate me for this.” She grabbed my face, threading her fingers in my beard as she pulled me toward her, and kissed me.