Chapter 34. I NEED YOU
(Sienna)
It’d been four days.
Four never-ending days since Ander and I had sex.
He’d been avoiding me, and all my efforts to reach out had been unsuccessful. The distance between us was growing to the point that it was agonizing. I feared that we had crossed a point of no return.
There never was an us.
Those words kept repeating in my head like a broken record.
I thought that, finally, we were facing the feelings we had been dancing around for the past few months, but I guessed I was wrong. He was angry with me for sleeping with Noah and Zayn, and every inch of my body felt the depth of his possessiveness with each thrust. My pussy was sore the following two days after having my first threesome and then being fucked by Ander the following morning. Even my ass still looked red from all that spanking. And I loved it. But when he uttered those words, my heart shattered into a million pieces.
For the past three days, I stayed in Zayn’s room with him and Noah, but we’d limited our interactions to kissing and cuddling. I was in a sour mood, and Ander’s silence drove me crazy. I believed they noticed the change between us although they hadn’t asked me why I’d kept it to myself. I didn’t know what Ander had told them, but based on the way they didn’t want to address the elephant in the room, I bet he hadn’t said a word.
It was three o’clock, and today was the “Venetian Summer Night” New Year’s Eve party. Chaos flooded the house since eight o’clock this morning as men and women scurried about, arranging furniture, flowers, lights, and candles. Claudia hired a makeup artist and a hairstylist for Maggie and me. It was a lovely gesture, and although I liked doing my own hair and makeup, it was nice to feel like we were getting ready for a red carpet event.
“You’ve been very quiet. Is everything alright?” Maggie asked before taking a sip of her latte. Her head was overloaded with curlers, and her makeup was already done.
“It’s nothing. You don’t need to worry.”
“But I do,” she retorted.
I let out a long sigh and set my ginger latte on the table.
“It’s complicated. Ander and I had a fight a few days ago, and he hasn’t talked to me since then.”
She contemplated her answer for a few seconds before she replied. “Yeah, I noticed. I was waiting for you to say something. In fact, Noah asked me if I knew what it was about. They also have no clue what’s going on.” Maggie placed her coffee on the table and continued. “I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you, though. He’s in love with you. Give him some time, and he’ll come around.”
I snorted.
“He’s not in love with me.”
“You’re fucking blind, Sienna. He’s madly in love with you, and everyone can see it. Haven’t you noticed the way he looks at you like you were a goddess sent from Mount Olympus? Like he wants to pounce on you but at the same time make you the mother of his children?”
I’m pretty sure my laughter could be heard from Manhattan.
“You’re delusional.”
“Maybe I am,” she responded. “But not about this. Are you gonna talk to him tonight?” Maggie took her silk robe off and slipped into the dress she borrowed. She turned around and asked me to zip it.
“I don’t know. It’s been days since our argument, and I’m not sure I can let another day go by. I don’t want to start the year like this.”
Maggie sat on a chair and put on her new Louboutin shoes.
“Is it just a fight, or did something else happen?”
I didn’t know if Maggie was just very observant or I simply had to work on my poker face, but she consistently managed to read everyone’s emotions very easily. I stayed silent.
Maggie stood, placed a hand on her hips, and said, “Look. It’s none of my business…I know. But you need to face your feelings and stop playing games with them. It’s not fair to them. They aren’t just some fuckboys from Ibiza. They’re your friends, and you need to take responsibility for your actions.”
“Wow. That’s quite the lecture before closing out the year.”
Maggie looked pissed, and I didn’t understand why my situation with the guys affected her so much, especially as she had encouraged me to hook up with all three, but I guessed she was just trying to avoid an implosion of catastrophic proportions.
“Okay. I’ll talk to Ander tonight,” I replied.
“Good.”
* * *
I quickly checked myself in the mirror before heading out. I wore a floor-length, long-sleeved burgundy velvet dress, an off-the-shoulders style with a thigh-high slit on the right, and my favorite pair of Jimmy Choo golden sandals. As for the jewelry, I kept it simple. I wore some small golden earrings and the pendant Zayn gave me for Christmas. My makeup looked natural, except for my choice of lipstick—a shade of burgundy that perfectly matched the color of my dress.
Someone knocked on the door just as I finished putting my Venetian golden mask on.
“One second,” I shouted.
When I opened the door, my heart stopped. Zayn leaned on the doorframe wearing a tux. My mouth dropped. His mask was black and golden, and although it covered half of his face, the glimmer in his eyes still shone through.
“You look…” He cleared his throat before continuing. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Sienna. That dress…that dress would look way better around your waist while you sit on my face. What do you say?”
I hit his arm and slightly pushed him.
“We don’t have time for that. We’re gonna be late!”
“That’s a shame, but I have a few ideas about how I want to start the year. I want to start it with a bang, if you know what I mean.” Zayn winked at me, but I ignored his comment and moved around him to walk toward the stairs. Before I reached the first step, Zayn grabbed my arm and stopped me.
“Allow me.” He offered me his arm and one of his sweetest smiles. I couldn’t resist every time the light came through the bad-boy facade. He could fool everyone, but I knew that behind those tattoos was a beautiful, sensitive soul.
“Lead the way,” I said, linking my arm through his.
As we stepped into the ballroom, I came to a halt. I stood there, speechless, with my jaw on the floor. It wasn’t a big room by any means, but the way it had been decorated made you feel you were in the Italian Renaissance. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, casting a soft, warm glow upon the room. Along the walls, Claudia had managed to place intricate tapestries in deep burgundy and royal purple, creating an illusion of opulence.
I quickly glanced around the room and saw Noah and Maggie chatting at the other end.
“Look, Noah and Maggie are over there,” I pointed out.
As we moved deeper into the ballroom, I caught the scent of freshly cut flowers. I recognized the aroma of lilies, magnolias, and orange blossoms instantly. I had spent a couple of springs in Seville, where the aroma of orange blossoms permeates every street during that time of the year.
The moment Noah saw me, his eyes darkened.
“You look stunning, Sienna. Come here.” Noah wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side, and gently placed a kiss on the corner of my lips.
“Have you seen Ander?” I asked them.
“Yes. He’s around here somewhere,” Maggie replied. “Have you talked to him yet?”
“No. But I intend to.”
“I don’t know what’s going on between you guys. Would you mind sharing it with the group?” Noah squeezed my middle.
“Let me talk to him first,” I said, scanning the faces around me until I made eye contact with William, who stood next to the bar. He gestured with his hand for me to join him. “I need to have a word with Ander’s father. I’ll be back.” I proceeded to walk over to where William stood with a couple in their mid-forties.
“I hope you’re enjoying the party,” he said, kissing my cheek. “Let me introduce you to Lorena and Patrick. They are old friends of mine who also knew your parents.”
“It’s lovely to meet you. You look so much like your mom,” the woman, Lorena, said.
The mention of my parents felt like an icy hand had gripped my heart. My chest tightened, and a heavy weight settled upon my shoulders. It was as though the air in the room had thickened, making breathing difficult. Memories of my parents flooded my mind, vivid and poignant, and I could feel their absence like an ache deep in my soul. I was going to start a new year without them in my life, and that was a hard pill to swallow.
The words hung in the air, heavy and tangible, casting a shadow over the conversation. I struggled to maintain my composure, to hide the raw vulnerability that threatened to spill over. I knew she didn’t mean to make me feel uncomfortable by any means, but the mention of them had uncovered a well of grief that I thought I was handling well. Apparently not.
“Thank you. That’s very kind of you. She was a beautiful woman.”
“And so are you,” Lorena responded.
“Have you seen Ander?” I looked around, but I didn’t see him.
“I believe he’s helping Claudia with something. Lorena, Patrick…do you mind if I have a word with Sienna in private?”
“Of course. It was a pleasure meeting you. Enjoy the party.”
Once the couple was far enough away not to overhear us, William leaned in and said, “Peter sent me the contract, and I went ahead and signed it this afternoon. But before I say anything in my speech, I just wanted to ensure you’re okay if I announced it tonight.”
“Of course. I don’t see the issue.”
“Great. I know that I’ve already said it, but thank you. It feels great to be back at Cos Pharma.”
“No problem, just…don’t make me regret my decision, okay?” I still had some reservations, but I was also aware of my father’s wrongdoing. William deserved to be back.
“I won’t.”
“Hey, girl.” Maggie came behind me. “You look thirsty. Shall we get something to drink?”
“Champagne?” William asked.
Maggie and I both nodded. William turned around and placed our drink orders.
“I wanted to give you a heads-up,” she warned, gesturing toward the opposite corner of the room. “I spotted Ander over there. He’s in conversation with a cougar who cannot keep her hands to herself. It seems like he could use a bit of rescuing.” Maggie noticed my hesitation. “Go. I’ll bring you the champagne.”
My friend was right; that woman kept touching Ander’s arm and chest and laughing like he was the funniest person in the world.
Bitch .
Was I jealous? Maybe.
“What’s so funny?” I deadpanned. The woman turned to look at me, and I noticed her slightly sneering back at me.
“Nothing. And you’re…?”
I extended my hand and said, “Sienna, Ander’s friend.”
“I’m Charlotte, but my friends call me Charlie.”
“I’d normally say it’s a pleasure meeting you, Charlotte , but that wouldn’t be entirely true,” I remarked. Her fake, plastic smile vanished as I continued. “I need to have a word with Ander, so if you’ll excuse us…” My eyes briefly caught the glint of a wedding ring on her left hand. “I’m sure your husband must be looking for you. Or maybe not,” I added dryly. Without uttering a word, she walked away, though I could have sworn I heard her calling me a whore.
“What was that about?” Ander asked.
“Nothing. She was all over you, and I noticed you seemed uncomfortable, so I thought I’d step in.”
“So it wasn’t because you were jealous?”
Just then, a glass of champagne magically appeared in front of me.
“William sent this over for you,” Maggie chimed in. “I’ll leave you two to chat. Come find me when you’re done.” She smiled at Ander and strolled back to join Noah and Zayn.
I took a sip, hoping it would bolster my confidence.
“Listen. I know you’re upset, but you haven’t even glanced in my direction in the past few days, and I cannot bear it anymore. Please, Ander. Talk to me.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know. But say something. After what happened the other morning, I thought we had finally crossed the line we had been dancing around for the past few months. You know how I feel about you, and I get that it was a shock seeing me naked with both of them, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
“It’s not that simple. I don’t like being a second plate, especially if I’m the third course.”
I downed a generous gulp of champagne. Perhaps with a touch of alcohol in my system, I could summon the courage to say everything that was on my mind.
“You’re not just some casual fuck, Ander. But I can’t deny that I have feelings for them. You’re well aware of that. I’m not sure what the answer is, but please, don’t shut me out.”
“So basically, you’re just going to keep fucking them, right? And I have to be okay with that. It’s either that or I lose you again. Is that what you’re saying?”
“It’s not only about sex, Ander. Not with you and not with them. My feelings for you are not any lesser because I also have feelings for them. I…I…” My vision blurred at the edges, and the sounds around me seemed to drift into the distance. I lost my balance, my coordination failing me, but Ander swiftly wrapped an arm around me, steadying me against his chest. The empty glass slipped from my hand and shattered into a multitude of tiny fragments as it met the floor, prompting the nearby crowd to turn and see what had happened.
“How many glasses of champagne have you had?” he asked.
I couldn’t think straight; my breath grew shallow and labored, and it became an effort to draw in each successive gulp of air. A wave of nausea hit me so hard that, for a moment, I feared I might vomit all over Ander’s tuxedo.
“Only one.”
“Shit, your pupils. Have you taken any drugs?” Ander’s concern escalated with each passing moment.
“I…I duon’t dooo thaet shhh…shit.” My tongue felt sluggish, and I couldn’t articulate clear words.
“Fuck. Help! HELP! Someone call an ambulance!”
“What’s wrong with her?”
I could hear voices around me but was too weak to open my eyes.
“I don’t know,” Ander responded.
I could feel the pulse in my temples quicken, and a weird sensation began to wash over me, like a rising tide of darkness slowly overtaking my consciousness.
“Come back to me, Sienna, please. Open your eyes, love. I need you.”
My senses dimmed, and the final clear thought that flickered through my mind was the unsettling notion that I hadn’t been brave enough to express my true feelings, and now, I might never get the chance to confess that I was completely, utterly, and irrevocably in love with the three of them.