Chapter Thirty Five
My eyes flickered open to an unfamiliar ceiling, strange patterns of shadows dancing across the smooth expanse above me. For a moment, I lay still, my heart pounding in the silent room, trying to place where I was. The shadows above me danced, and I pushed myself up on my elbows, looking around the room. Black candles with golden flames were placed around the room, and although the furnishings were opulent and dark, the candlelight lent them a softness that made my heart slow.
I was in the bedroom at the clubhouse. Memories flooded back to me of Bast scooping me up in his arms and carrying me from the feasting room as the party continued in full swing. He’d brought me here, and cleaned me up before helping me climb into the black silk sheets that were currently wrapped around me. Hades in his domain, and here I was, their Persephone in his bed, wrapped in the luxury of his underworld.
I shifted, feeling the dull ache between my legs, and smiled at the memory of the incredible climax Bast had given me. His scent surrounded me and I looked down to find myself wearing a black shirt and nothing more. It was his, I knew it was from his scent, and I inhaled deeply. He hadn’t said much as he’d cared for me, softly cleaning my skin and brushing my hair till it shone in the candlelight. Bast was a man of so many contradictions. Ice cold during the day, but with a dark passion that burned like hellfire under his skin, and then warm with an unexpected tenderness. He’d sat with me, sensing somehow that I didn’t want to be alone. Neither of us spoke, but he’d sat next to me, softly stroking my hair until reality had faded away and I’d slept.
The images of the night before crept into my mind, and I blushed, even though I was alone in the room. The low hum of voices from the men watching us. The expectant looks. The floor beneath my knees as I moved from one to another, claiming each with a hunger I hadn”t understood until now. From the outside, it could have looked like I was being used by each of them as their slave, forced to kneel as they fucked my mouth over and over again, denying me my own pleasure until the very end.
My mother”s voice, cold and sharp, cut through my mind. ”Worthless slut.” I flinched, despite knowing she was a hundred miles away and that there was no way she could know what had happened here. Still, two decades of conditioning had me drawing my knees up and wrapping my arms around them, rocking gently as her insults poured into my skull like a stream of poison.
Disgusting slutty little bitch. Used like some rag doll, now cast aside as they fuck the other women you saw. Useless even on your knees. Fucking whore.
A hot tear slipped down my cheek, hitting the silk sheets below me. I choked back a sob, fighting to keep the rest of them at bay. My breath hitched, tears welling in my eyes as my mother”s voice wove cruel words through the confines of my mind. What if she was right? What if that’s all I was to them? Even Bast had told me it was just an arrangement for the year, it wasn’t as if any of them had feelings for me. I was just a body for them to fuck.
I bit down on my lower lip, trying to smother the sob that threatened to break free. The tremble in my hands was unmistakable now, as I buried my face into my knees. What had I done? What had I become for these men that I barely knew? My shoulders shook with silent sobs, my choked whimpers seeming deafening in the silence of the room, but as her insults flowed through my mind, I heard another voice. Bast’s voice.
Such a good little slut… what a beautiful little whore you are for me… that’s my good girl…
My tears eased, and I lifted my head, blinking them away. My mother”s words were cruel, they always had been. But they fought with a new truth stirring within me. I wasn”t used. I wasn”t worthless. The men around me hadn”t cast me aside as she”d declared. They”d used me, yes, but it was anything but pitiful. It was reverence, desire so thick, it felt like electricity buzzing across my skin. And Bast... Bast had cared for me afterwards, and Nate the first time; tending to me like no one else ever had.
Nate. Dark hair, darker eyes—his gaze often felt like it could cut right through me, seeing parts of my soul I didn”t even understand yet. There was an intensity to him that was both frightening and alluring. His silence spoke volumes, the quiet before the storm, and I knew there was more beneath his brooding exterior. The way he could be so rough with me and then so tender, it only added to my attraction. Yes, he was huge, and the idea of going further with him terrified me, but also sent a thrill through my body. I could only imagine what he would be like if he let go of that iron control he seemed to need so much. There was something about that that drew me in, something dark that connected us, and I needed to know more.
And then Tristan, his complete opposite. My golden man with his messy blond hair and sparkling blue eyes, and that smile that gave me butterflies every time. I’d misjudged him, believed him to be the shallow playboy everyone had warned me about, and yet the time we’d spend together just hanging out, had shown me a different side of him. He was easy going, yes, but he was generous and kind, and I knew there was more to him than the mask he wore. I had feelings for him now, I couldn’t deny that, and yes, I knew it was more than likely when the year ended, he’d break my heart, but I was too involved now.
They might not be interested in a relationship with me, but they still treated me better than my parents ever had, and while their hands left bruises too, they also brought me pleasure I could never have guessed at. And maybe what I had done for them tonight was degrading, but it had also made me feel more powerful than ever. Seeing those men reduced to sighs and moans as I took them in my mouth, it had turned me on so much, and I had felt strong. I closed my eyes, summoning the sensations that had coursed through me as I moved between them—each act a declaration of defiance against her whether I’d realised it at the time or not.
Maybe I was some kind of sexual deviant, maybe there was something very wrong with me. That’s what my mother had always said, and I’d spent my life crawling, and begging, and doing whatever she wanted, desperate to prove her wrong, determined to be perfect. But tonight, something else had risen inside me. Yes, I’d been on my knees, I’d been controlled and used, but for some reason, tonight I had really fucking loved it. Submitting to them like that, feeling their cocks stuffed in my mouth and their cum running down my throat and over my chin. Even now, the memory made my body heat. They’d awakened something inside me that kept me craving more of their touch, their words, fuck, even their cocks. As Bast had touched me there on his lap in front of the hall, I’d felt him growing hard again, his cock pressing against my ass from behind as I’d squirmed against him, and I’d been so close to begging him just to take me right there in front of everyone.
I was nothing more than a needy mess around these men; a fact that both scared and thrilled me. I was no longer the perfect, controlled doll my mother desired. I was becoming something else entirely – wild, expressive... free. I didn”t understand these feelings, this strange mix of shame and pleasure. This tug-of-war between what I was supposed to feel according to my mother”s twisted values, and how I truly felt – alive, powerful, free. The thought of going back home to her suffocating control choked me more than any man”s cock ever could.
There was something liberating about being used like that. About taking on the role of a sexual object, but not in the way my mother had wanted me to – not as a pristine trophy, but instead as a living, breathing source of pleasure. A woman who could bring men to their knees with desire even while kneeling herself.
I ran my fingers along the raw marks on my body, left by the rough grip of men lost in primal lust. They were reminders of the dark pleasure I had discovered with them. And even though each touch also reminded me of the countless times I had been forced to bear pain in silence under my mother”s harsh discipline, the sensation was different now. These marks weren”t badges of shame anymore; they were trophies of victory against the chains she had tried to bind me with. A thrill pulsed through me at the thought of what I had done and the power I had felt. I brushed my fingers over my mouth, reminiscing the texture of their cocks and the taste of their spend. A shiver of desire ran down my spine, settling between my thighs. Their queen, their Persephone, their good little slut.
I lay back and my fingers trailed down between my legs, stroking over my pussy, as I remembered the feel of their cocks pushing between my lips. Especially Nate. He’d been so fucking big, I’d nearly refused, and it had been hard to take, stretching my mouth around him, the way he’d slid against the back of my throat when I’d barely taken half of him. My fingers slid through my growing wetness as I thought about how I’d gagged and choked around his shaft. I needed it again, needed more. I wanted to be able to take all of him. Bast had been willing to teach me, maybe Nate would be too, if I knelt at his feet and begged him for his cock again.
My back arched against the sheets as I touched myself the way Bast had shown me. It felt wrong, pleasuring myself without him here, but at the same time, so deliciously wrong. I felt my climax creeping nearer and nearer as I pictured Nate, hands gripping my hair, pulling on it, as he fucked my mouth, sliding deeper into my throat…
A vibrating noise filled the room, and a strange glow appeared on the ceiling. I glanced to the nightstand where my phone lay, my breath catching in my throat as I saw the number. My mother was calling. I should answer.
I dipped two fingers inside myself, my eyes fixed on the number on the screen, breathing heavily. She’d be so mad if I didn’t answer. But I was so fucking close. I moved my fingers faster, fucking myself with them as I ground the heel of my hand against my clit. The phone kept ringing, but for once, my mother would have to wait.
Some dark delight at knowing I was keeping her waiting while I touched myself filled my mind and I grinned at the thought mf my little rebellion before gasping out as I reached my release, waves of pleasure coursing through me, a whimper escaping my lips. I didn”t care. Not about the phone, not about her, not in that moment. No one had a right to pull me away from the sweet abyss of pleasure. The phone buzzing on the table was merely background noise now as I rode out the waves of pleasure that hit me one after another. It was intoxicating, the freedom to indulge in myself without restraints.
My heart pounded in my chest as I lay there in Bast”s bed, my breaths slowing. I was Persephone now, queen to Hades and his underworld. I didn”t know what that meant yet for me, but I did know that it felt right - more right than anything ever had.
Slowly, I lifted my hand from between my quivering thighs and reached for the phone. My pulse spiked as I answered it, my voice shaky.
“Mum.”
“Hello Paige.”
“It’s late. Is everything ok?”
“I wanted to congratulate you on securing your position.” Icy fear washed over me. No, there was no way she could know…
“I’m sorry, I don”t understand what you mean?” I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking, as my entire body started to tremble.
“Your position as the Deadmen’s Persephone. I hear you accepted the position officially tonight and completed your second trial.”
My fingers tingled, and my heart seemed to beat harder and louder in my chest. I hadn’t had a panic attack in a couple of years, but I knew the signs of one, and I fought to breathe.
“I… how…?” was all I managed.
“You didn’t think I’d send you off to Blackvellyn without some way of keeping an eye on you, did you? One of the servers this evening likes to earn a little cash on the side, and no one ever notices the staff.”
“Mum, I… I’m sorry…”
“”Sorry? Don’t be ridiculous, Paige. I’m proud of you.”
I felt like I’d been punched, and my chest tightened further. “What?”
”You heard me. I am proud of you, Paige. You have finally begun to understand what it means to wield power.”
”But… you don’t care that I… that they...”
”I don”t care about the finer details, darling. Just remember why you are there.”
”I”m here because of a scholarship...” I said weakly, a sick feeling rising inside me.
”No,” my mother”s tone was ice-cold now. ”You are there to do as I say, and nothing more. You are exactly where I wanted you, and now you will finally prove your worth to this family.”
“I don’t understand… you wanted me to be Persephone? You never said anything…” my voice trailed away as I finally put the pieces together and my head began to spin. “Mum,” I whispered. “Did you apply for me to be Persephone?”
“Of course I did. You would never have had the guts.”
My stomach churned. “You filled in the application… you signed the contract?”
“No, you did, when we were sorting everything for your place at Blackvellyn.” I dimly remembered her putting a pile of papers in front of me, tuition, accommodation, doctor registrations, fanned out so there was only the line on which to sign. Bast had been right. I had signed the contract myself.
“Mum, they kidnapped me, they took me to the clubhouse and chained me up and they… did you know they would do that?” I could barely get the words out, I was shaking so hard.
“Of course I knew, I did it myself. It”s tradition.”
“Mum, I had no idea what was going on, I didn’t want them to touch me… and you organised the whole thing?”
“Oh don’t be so dramatic, Paige. Women get used by men everyday. And you seem to have gotten over it.”
I scrambled out of bed and ran for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before I threw up. I leaned against the side of the huge bath, shaking and cold, and raised the phone back to my ear.
“You set me up to be assaulted, mum. Maybe even raped. How could you do that to me?”
“You forget yourself, Paige. You belong to me. Your very existence ruined my life, along with other things, you owe me for that. I needed you in place as Persephone, and you would never have gone along with it if you’d known what you were signing up for. But according to that server, you certainly managed to embrace the role. I always knew you’d be a whore.”
My blood froze and the room spun around me. My own mother... I never could tell just how far she”d go, but now I knew. Despair washed over me, numbing every nerve, leaving only the sickening realisation that she had manipulated me right into this position.
“Why?” I choked out.
“It’s time you stopped playing with your paint and brushes. This is real life, and we live in a cruel world, where men rule over us. We have to take power when and where we can. You will be the Queen of the Underworld after your fifth trial, and that gives you power. And now you can help me.”
”Help you?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
”Yes, help me. Those boys you’re fucking? Their fathers are the men who ruined our lives. The ones who forced me to marry your father and left me with nothing. My whole life wrecked for one night, for one scandal. I was used and cast aside, and then when I begged them for mercy, they destroyed me.” Her voice was cold and calm, as if we were discussing a simple business deal. “It’s time I returned the favour. And you are going to help me.”
”But I...I don’t want…” I started. My mother cut me off with a harsh laugh.
”Don”t want? Since when has what you wanted ever mattered?” Her words slithered around her like a snake around its prey.
”Mom...” My voice broke as despair flooded through me. I was no queen, I was just a scared little girl again, lost and alone.
”What”s done is done, Paige,” my mother declared ruthlessly, as if delivering a death sentence. ”I expect you to do what is necessary. You owe me this much. You will help me make those bastards pay for what they did.”
I took a deep breath. ”What if I refuse?”
The silence that followed was deafening.
”Refuse? And throw away this golden opportunity? Lose everything I’ve worked for for the last seven years? You have no idea what I suffered, what I lowered myself to do to get you here, Paige.” A chilling laugh echoed through the line. “If you refuse, I”ll have no use for you. I”ll pull you out of that school faster than you can say ”Mummy please”. You”ll come back home...where you belong, to the punishment that awaits you.”
My heart pounded in terror at the thought of going home. To be under her control again...it was unthinkable.
”But...but I need to finish my degree...”
”Ah yes, your precious painting degree. How silly of me.” Sarcasm dripped off her words. ”Your education is no longer important Paige. Your only role now is to obey. Like you always have.”
Her words hit me like a punch in the gut, but I struggled to fight one more time.
“I’m an adult, mother. I’ll just leave.”
“I wouldn’t advise that, Paige. Your father knows some very nasty people who are very good at finding those they want to punish. What those boys will do to you, is nothing compared to what will happen to you if you don’t obey me. But you won’t leave. You’re too weak, and you know it. Pathetic and useless. You wouldn’t last two minutes without me.”
Tears ran down my face at her words.
”Mother, please...” My plea was desperate but she simply laughed in response, a chilling sound that echoed in my ears.
”Oh Paige, always the naive one. Always thinking the world is full of sunshine and rainbows. You should be thanking me. I”ve given you an opportunity to do something worthwhile. Finally, you’ll actually be useful.”
Her words twisted in my gut and I could hardly breathe.
“Now, pull yourself together. And not a word to the boys, my dear. We don’t want them thinking anything is wrong. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can discuss your next steps. Until then, perform like the little slut I know you are.”
The call ended abruptly leaving only the ringing silence behind. I stayed there in the cold bathroom, clutching the phone to my chest as if it could somehow protect me from the reality of what had just happened. My eyes stung with tears and my heart ached with a sense of betrayal so deep it left me feeling hollow. My body shivered violently under the weight of the shock and fear. I huddled in on myself, as if shrinking away could make this all disappear. Time felt immaterial as I stayed there, lost in my despair. No sound except for the echoing emptiness of the bathroom and my own harsh breaths filled the air.
Finally, I dragged myself off the floor, using the edge of the bathtub for support. My reflection in the mirror was a ghost of who I once was – tired eyes red from crying, skin pale from shock, body trembling with fear. Any strength or power I had felt before was long gone. In a few minutes, she had reduced me to what I really was.
Weak, pathetic, worthless. Hers.